Swishy Fantasies Presents:


Witty Motel, 1313 Nowhere Road: Chapter 3

by: Yours truly


Swishy: Aaand, we're back with more fanfictiony goodness! But first, a word from our sponsors.....

Yami Bakura: I hate our sponsors.

DISCLAIMER!!!

Swishy: ... which comes in four wonderful flavors: Swishy-flavored, mint, onion (or Yami Bakura), and papaya!

Swishy: And, in this disclaimer, we have ourselves a guest speaker, along with Shaadi and me. Please welcome... Odion!

Shaadi: Will this madness ever end? First flavored disclaimers, then Yami Bakura, then.... ODION?!?

Odion: *is following Yami Bakura's candy trail* *Munch, Munch, Munch* ???... *looks up, sees Shaadi, glares with fuming rage* You......

Odion: *spits out Yami Bakura's Yami Bakura head-shaped candy in a realization of horror*

Shaadi: *glares with equal rage* Why did you invite my arch-rival(and Yami Bakura) into the disclaimer?

Swishy: He's your arch-rival? Ooh, I never knew that. *to audience* See, folks? We all (except Yami Bakura) learn something every day!

Yami Bakura: *frowns*

Odion: I do not wish to share this time with such an ignorant fool.

Yami Bakura: !

Shaadi: My thoughts exactly, that is why you should leave, you being the ignorant fool around here.

Yami Bakura: !!

Odion: Well, at least I don't wear doughnuts for earings!

Swishy: Ooo, pretty doughnuts!

Yami Bakura: Oooo, horrific-looking doughnuts.......

Shaadi: You want to make something of it, pony-boy?

Odion: Pony-boy?! Are you talking to me?!

Swishy: I want a doughnut!

Yami Bakura: I want a horrific-looking doughnut!

Odion: You talking to me, Shaadi?!

Swishy: Papayas grow on Yami Bakura!

Odion: You talking to me?!?!?!?!!?

Swishy: Well, of course he is, he couldn't be talking to me, I'm imagination, not a pony-boy.

Yami Bakura: Not me either, because I'm a psychopathic, demented-looking, tombrobber! BWHAHAHAHAHA-

Odion: THEY CALL ME, MR. RISHID!!!!

Yami Bakura: They call me "Evil Bakura." That is not my name. My name is-

Shaadi: COME AND GET IT, PONY-BOY!!

Yami Bakura: !!!

Odion: BRING IT ON, BALDO!!!

Yami Bakura: I cannot be "Baldo" and "Pony-Boy" at the same time. Pick one.

Shaadi: YOU SHALL NOT ONLY FEEL THE WRATH OF MY MILLENIUM ITEMS, YOU SHALL ALSO SMELL DEFEAT!!!!!!

Yami Bakura: Can I have your Millenium Items?

Swishy: It's "taste defeat", not "smell defeat".

Shaadi and Odion: *start attempting to use pro-wrestler moves on each other*

Swishy: Ooo, that hurt. This is so exciting, I am not able to speak, so do your stuff, Millenium Toothpick!

Millenium Toothpick: Swishy Fantasies does not own:
1) The Lion King
2) The Witty Phantom ('w')
2½) Yami Bakura's Yami Bakura head-shaped candy
3) Cobwebs
4) Key Lime Pie
5) The stuff mentioned in the afforementioned disclaimers (see previous chapters, in other words)

Yami Bakura: *eats Millenium toothpick*

Swishy: Yay! Go Shaadi! Go Odion! Go...uh-oh...

*Yami Bakura is slammed in to camera, static, static, static*

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*STARTING FANFIC*

The night was slept away peacefully. At least, it would have if a certain little event hadn't occurred in the night. It was somewhere around midnight. Mokuba was wide awake. Why? Apparently, Shana's zombie talk had gotten to his head. You see, if people start talking about zombies in a old, strange, worn-out place; it tends to make you see things. Like chairs that turn into chainsaw killers, blinds that turn into groping, moaning ghosts; and beds that turn into.... oh, wait, that was his big brother, not a dismembered corpse. It was a good thing his brother wasn't a dismembered corpse, otherwise, he'd have to scream, and his throat hurt already. But those other things made him wake up his brother every 15 minutes. Or try. After the first two times, Kaiba learned to tune out Mokuba. So, there was poor, innocent Mokuba (or as innocent as you can be as Kaiba's little brother), all alone in the room, with no one to protect him. His big brother was asleep, and he was afraid to get up to go get someone else for fear some big brutish monster would reach out from underneath the bed and grab his ankle. A big problem, especially if you have to go to the bathroom. He was still worried about the whole outhouse thing and didn't want to have to go outside in a storm in order to use the restrooms. Mokuba had just made up his mind to wet the bed and let Seto deal with it, when, all of a sudden, he noticed several details. One was the fact that it had stopped raining. The second one was when he looked at the fire escape plan, he noticed that there was no outhouse, instead, there was a bathroom on the main floor. This relieved him greatly, that he would not have to relieve himself outside. So he got up, grabbed one of those fancy candle holder-thingies, and stuck one foot out the door. Nothing. He poked the candle holder out. Nothing. He poked his head out. Ditto. He stepped out. Nothing again. This made Mokuba's fear relax. Seto was right. There was no ghosts in this mansion, only the ones in his mind. He took about five steps forward, when suddenly, there was a loud creak. Mokuba nearly wet his pants, but he was too old for that, so he didn't. It was the floorboard. "Whew!" sighed Mokuba. For a minute there, he thought Shana might actually be right. But she was silly. There were no such things as ghosts.

He was about to go down the first step, and WHOOOSH-BANG! The big doors swung open with a loud bang. Moonlight streamed in, shining it's eerie, pale light all over the lobby. The wind came whistling in and blew around several pages of the book on the desk. Mokuba was scared silly by this, but not as much as what happened next. As he leaned over the railing to take a look down into the lobby, several people wearing black robes came hovering through the door. He couldn't actually tell if they were people or not, because they were wearing these huge colorful, gaudy masks, a big contrast between their black, hooded cloaks. They were all carrying suitcases or bags of some sort. Mokuba was frozen on the spot. He couldn't decide if he wanted to run back and get his big brother, or keep watching. He wound up opting for the latter.

"Ah, yes." came a familiar, cool voice from the shadows. "Welcome to my hotel. Please, feel free to hang up your ... wear... before signing in. Hmm?" The same man in the purple suit came out again.

"Yes. Thank you." came a heavy voice that sent vibrations of bad feeling up Mokuba's spine. They all began to remove the masks. Mokuba gasped. Their faces were all pale and transparent. A stout, old man, a tall old woman, a taller, young man, and a little girl. Suddenly, all eyes were on Mokuba. He swallowed hard. "Heh-heh... er .. hi..."

"Witty, do you know you have liveuns in your upstairs?"

The man in the purple suit looked up. Mokuba then recognized him. The Witty Phantom! "Er... yes, why, yes, that is a "liveun" as you ... er.. call them and" here he stepped through the counter. "I'll take care of it right away, right away."

Mokuba didn't stand there for a second longer. He screamed. "SEEEETTTOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! SOOOOMMMMEEEEOOONNNEEEEEE!!!! HEEEEELLPPPMEEEEE!!"

Quickly, the Witty Phantom hit a bell on the desk, then began immediately running upstairs, going "Shh...shhh.. you'll wake the guests.... I don't want you to have to have a noisy end, do you?"

Mokuba paused, then shook his head.

"So, you should be quiet when I do you in, that way we'll both be happy."

Mokuba proceeded to continue to yell.

"Shh....SHHH!!!" shush the Witty Phantom running up the stairs. But he was too late. The doors flew open. All of them stared out into the hallway to see the Witty Phantom standing threateningly over Mokuba. There was a moment of silence, then Yami-Bakura said "Ooo, lookie, another malevolent spirit..." just before Shana screamed "IT'S AN EVIL HEAD-HUNTER PHANTOM!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" and ran off down the stairs. The Witty Phantom looked offended. "I beg your pardon! You're referring to my dear, old aunt; my name's Witty, not Head-hunter. She was a headmistress at a school for fiends." he explained to the shocked group of teens. There was another pause, then Jounouchi yelled "HE MAKES CORNY JOKES!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES AND COVER YOUR EARS!!"

The results were instant pandemonium. Jounouchi, Anzu, and Bakura took east, Yugi, Honda, and Otogi took west, Kaiba rushed to the aid of his little brother, Mokuba, and Shana fainted on the spot. Oh, yes, and let us not forget Meiko. Meiko... was still asleep. He could sleep like a log when it came down to it, and would not be woken for anything but dawn's early light. This was due to the fact that Meiko's only window faced the east, and he had learned to sleep through the waves crashing on the rocks. So, the black-haired teen stayed in bed, whilest Jounouchi lead Anzu and Bakura to a dead end.

"GREAT TIME TO SHOW OFF YOUR TOTAL LACK OF DIRECTION, JOUNOUCHI!!"

"I HAVE DIRECTION! IT'S JUST--- YAHH!"

For suddenly, another eerie specter poked it's head through the dead end and snapped at them "Quiet, can't a phantom get a some eternal rest around here?!"

"Heh- sorry, wrong way, ABOUT FACE!!" said Bakura, looking a little more that slightly scared silly. Actually, they were all scared silly, so scared that their "about face" turned into a panicked scramble, just as the floorboards gave way under their feet. So, the three teens fell screaming down into the basement, where they landed with a big KER-SPLOOSH!!! Into a room with 2 feet of scummy water.

"Oh, great!" moaned Bakura.

"Ewww!!"

"Oh, gross, oh man, it smells PUTRID!"

"I didn't know you even knew what that word meant."

"Hey, I remember bits and pieces of our vocab from our WEIRD English language class(sponsered by yodel & Kaiba Corp.). And I'm not that ignorant."

"This is just wonderful, I can..." Suddenly, Bakura paused. A smile came upon his face, sort of a peaceful-yet-someones-gonna-hate-me-for-this look. Bakura telepathically woke his Yami up gently.

"Yami, there's something here I want to show you..."

"Wad? First yew wake me ub from by sleeb, then yew..." The allergy-ladened thief switched on, and surveyed his surroundings. He discovered two things very quickly. One: When his bangs switched up, they had some kind of green plant material hanging off of them. Two: Even with his allergies, he could still smell the awful place they where in.

"BUKURAHH!!! YEW WILL BAY FOR DIS!!!"

Yami Bakura quickly switched off. Bakura's body slumped over and started twitching, giving clues that the evil spirit was now making Bakura "bay for dis" as he himself had said earlier. Jounouchi and Anzu then decided that now would be the best time to grab Bakura and take off his Millennium Ring, causing Yami Bakura to lose concentration. But before Jounouchi could chuck it into the filth, Bakura suddenly realized how much he wanted it. Sparkle-y, shiny, pretty Millennium ring..... He grabbed it back and stuck it back on.

"Hey, what was that for?! I was saving you from...." Suddenly, he noticed the look on Anzu's face. "What's the matter?"

She looked nervous. "There's something in the water. I saw it moving."

"Huh?" said Jounouchi, just as this huge, wet, hairy thing lunged from the water. It hissed at him and wrapped him in it's tentacles, trying to drag him underwater.

"Jounouchi!" yelled Anzu, immediately grabbing him and trying to pull the creature off.
"Guh! *Glub, glub*"

"BUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HE SHALL MEET HIS DOOM AT THE HANDS OF A WRETCHED SWAMP BEAST!!!" cackled Yami Bakura "THAT WILL SHOW THE FOOLS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH YAMI BAKURA, STAR WARS, AND COPYRIGHT LAWS—hey, my allergies are- ack!" For Yami Bakura was also seized by another "swamp beast" which also attempted to drag him under.

Anzu was frantic. She didn't want to stay in the water, but she didn't want to leave Jounouchi and Bakura to their fates. So, while still holding on to their hands, she tried to climb on to a large, black pipe that jutted out of the wall. Success. However, she realized that this was more fruitful than it seemed, as she noticed how the the creatures recoiled when they got near the torch on the wall. Not wanting either for Jounouchi and Bakura to drown, nor to appear to be some helpless, fluffy, dizty (like Shana), she tried to grab the torch. However, she had forgotten that, that three tasks are harder than two, and that while she could balance on a pipe and hold her friends hands, she could not hold their hands, balance on a slick rock, and grab a torch. After all, she isn't perfect (nor is she me). So, she took the alternative, which was trying to grab the torch while teetering on a slippery rock while trying to hold up Jounouchi and Bakura. Now, Jounouchi was trying to help Anzu by standing up. Yami Bakura, at first, wasn't. He thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to drown them all by letting the beast pull Bakura's body under. But then it occurred to him that the monster might try to use the Millenium Ring as a chew toy (Oh. AND he needed Bakura's body to live. Right.). Plus, if he went underwater, he would ruin the lovely paint job he did on his... er he meant Bakura's ghost would kill him again for ruining the lovely paint job he did on his fingernails. Not his own. Bakura's nails. He would never do such a... maybe he should help Anzu is the bottom point. So, he also tried to stand. But Anzu still couldn't grab the torch. One of the beasties jerked really hard one way, and the other jerked just as hard. A third tentacle reached up and grabbed her leg. She sort of expected something like this would happen, but it still startled her. Since the tentacle (and the beast) were the same color as the disgusting pool that it lived in all it's life. It began groping her leg and started reaching up her skirt. "Eeeee!" screamed Anzu. What else would you do if you were grabbed by a slimy, hairy tentacle while trying to save people from being eaten? Oh, maybe one other thing. Anzu lost her grip on both of them and slipped off the metal pipe jutting out the side of the wall. "Noooooo!" She tried to grab Jounouchi again, but it was too late. The creatures had captured them all, and were already pulled them... nowhere. They didn't move.
"Eh?" said Jounouchi "Why isn't it drowning us?"

"Because," cackled Yami Bakura "I am darkness!..." He paused. "No, wait. That's not the reason, that's the reason for something else which you aren't suppose to know about.. uh.. never mind! I said nothing! You heard nothing!"

Anzu sighed, then thought about it. If they weren't pulling them under, then that probably meant that they were waiting. But waiting for what?

"In the mean time," interrupted Yami Bakura "I have had enough of toying with your pathetic little minds, plus, I'm getting bored, so I'm going to let Bakura have a go at this. WE WILL BURY YOU ALL! THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU!!! MUHAHAHAHAHA....." as he forced Bakura to come out of the sanctity of his mind.

"Wha? Who? How did we--"

"Shhh!! Someone's coming!" hissed Jounouchi.

"Ulp." Bakura was quiet. What were these things? Why were they holding them captive instead of eating them? But, this could only mean.... the one behind this all was coming to get them! He held his breath in suspense. Anzu shivered and looked scared. Jonouchi waited tensely. There was no shadow, no outlined figure. Only a pair of shoes walking down the stairs, slowly, enjoying their tenseness and their suspense and their scared-ness. Taking his sweet time. Slowly, as the steady, drip, drip of the pipe continued. No footsteps. No glowing eyes. The flame of the torch flickered against the wall. Bakura was forced to breathe again. Anzu had lost her fear. And Jounouchi....

"Zzz...zzz..zzz....zz..." The blond teen's head was drooped over in a sleeping boredom. He occasionally stirred when a drop of water hit him on the head. But otherwise, he was comatose.

But as the man came closer, Bakura suddenly found reason to be afraid. As the man walked across to where they were standing, the man made no splashes in the water. No wince as his feet touched the cold, disgusting water. No heavy breathing. In fact, no breathing at all.

**********************************************************

Meanwhile, Yugi, Otogi, and Honda were running like everything the other way. They didn't even realize that they had split up, until much later in this panic spree. Right now, life all came down to one big sprint past the Witty Phantom and down the stairs. Easy, if you're Honda or Otogi and have longer legs. Not so easy if you're Yugi Moto with shorter legs.

"*gasp, gasp* Wait....*gasp*...for.......*gasp*....me......*gasp*.....!.....*gasp, gasp*"

Honda had just made it to the bottom of the stairs when he saw two ghosts staring goggled-eyed at him. The other ghost having left to leave the chaos to the Witty Phantom, there were only two other ghosts in the lobby. They stood/hovered right in front of the desk, a few inches off the ground. They were just about as ghostly as ghosts could get. One of them smiled and waved at Honda. The other stared at Honda with a pair of dead-pan eyes, cold and ... very lacking in life. As so was the rest of him. But, there they were. Two ghosts. Honda stared at them. Just then, Otogi ran into him.

"Oof! Honda, whats the hold-"

He noticed the ghosts. "Er.. uh..."

Yugi ran into Otogi. "Ow!" He rubbed his head. "What's wrong?"

One of ghosts, which was wearing a black trench coat, floated on over towards him. "Yummy, I haven't had a human heart in such a long time. When's lunch?"

The three boys nerve's broke (Who could blame them?). They turned to the door and tried opening it. No success. The other ghost with wild, ruffled hair drifted over there to watch their efforts. He appeared to have been in his life some kind of knight. He had all the works: sword, armor, and all that other stuff, minus the helmet. "What are you doing?"

"Can't... get... door... open..." gasped Honda.

"Well, obviously," retorted the first, gaunt, thin-looking ghost in a matter-of-factly tone of voice. "When you sign a contract of haunting, you can't just walk out on the job."

"A what?" said Otogi, head snapping around to look directly at the ghost.

"A contract of haunting. You know," began the ghost, but paused and frowned. "Of course you wouldn't know, you're still alive. Here, let me explain. A contract of haunting is where a certain party is in need of something dearly that a phantom has. The phantom then writes up a contract of haunting, which is basically an agreement that, in exchange for staying at the phantom's location for an eternity and working as his slave boy, the signer will receive some beneficiary. Of course, this doesn't go over popular with most people, so most phantoms get someone to sign through stealth...." He trailed off.

Otogi stared at him for a long moment. "You're saying... we're trapped here forever?!?"

"Unless you break some new kind of deal with him.... nnn... yeah, basically, you're stuck."

"But look on the bright side," said his companion, "Now you don't have to worry about retirement, thanks to that contract you signed."

Otogi calmly walked over to the wall and started banging his head rhythmically against it.

"Always... read.... fine... print.... before..... signing..... GAH!!"

Yami Yugi mentally stared at Yugi.

"You SIGNED SOMETHING without consulting me first?"

"Well, er, I kinda forgot to tell you, and I thought you were already paying attention."

"I was busy cleaning out my mind through meditation! How could I have known you were about to sign a contract without my permission?"

Honda, meanwhile, was searching for the perfect word to describe his rage.

"Oh... Oh.... OH, CAMEL-DOGS!!!"

Everyone stared at him. "I thought of it on the spur of the moment. You want me to say something worse?"

Otogi sighed, then groaned. "Great. My life is over. I'm stuck in here for the rest of eternity."

"Wow, he summed it up in three easy phrases." noted the messy-haired, sword-carrying of the two ghosts.

"Well," said the other one "If you're going to drop dead, could you please do it soon? I'm bored, and I haven't seen a bit of decent entertainment for weeks. This ought to be a riot." He sat down on the chair and started waiting for Otogi to follow up on his word and drop dead.

The three boys decided at this point that they probably wanted to move on. But as Honda started to try and sneak off, something came swooping down from the ceiling and landed right in front of him. He yelled startledly and jumped back. It was a pale woman, with reddish colored eyes and a flowing black dress. She was slightly taller than Otogi, and quite thin and gaunt. She was acting as if she had just happened to be casually dropping in for a chat, instead of eavesdropping or dropping off of the ceiling. The ghost with the black trench coat took her arrival with no response, but Yugi noticed the swordsman ghost edging for his sword. He looked at her as if she was something to be feared and un-liked.

"Pardon me, but I just overheard your conversation as I flew by, and, am I correct that these three have signed a contract of haunting?" she said in a smoothly innocent voice.

"Yeah." said the sitting ghost "The next bunch of fools, as I call them.".

"They didn't come here because of you, Anecra. You have no right to interfere with their problems."

"Interfere?" repeated Anecra. "Oh, no. I'm not here to interfere. I'm here to make them an offer."

"Personally," said Otogi, cutting in, "I've had enough with offers for a while."

She turned and looked at him. "Ah, I see. And, what are your names?"

Otogi kept his mouth shut firmly. Honda looked at the ceiling, and Yugi looked at the floor.

"Oh, don't have any names? Or do you not want to tell me?" She laughed to herself. "That's ok, I can understand your hesitance. But really now, that your stuck here, why not give us your names?"

Yami Yugi switched on. "Because, mad'm, I prefer to keep what I already have when I have already lost quite a bit."

She really started to laugh at that one, her laughed beautiful but with a slight hint of coldness. The ghost sitting on the chair started to laugh as well with his hard, bitter, cold, screeching laugh. The swordsman's ghost looked annoyed. Otogi grew edgy, and Yami Yugi tensed, readying him for whatever came next. Honda continued to look up at the ceiling. Anecra pulled herself together.

"I'm... sorry.... I just haven't heard anyone say anything that quaint in such a while. Ah, but come now, I shouldn't be getting into hysterics like that. So, if you won't tell me your name, then, " she paused for a moment for a breath of air "will you tell me why you are possessing that pendent around his neck? When you could be freely wandering about? "

Yami Yugi looked shocked. He could never remember anyone saying anything he said was "quaint", and he was quite taken aback by this comment. And the fact that she could tell he was in the Millennium Puzzle didn't do anything to help his state of uneasiness. He withdrew into the Millennium Puzzle.

Yugi came back on line. "What do you mean, 'wandering about freely'?"

"You haven't told them yet?" said Anecra, with a slight edge to her voice.

"You cut into our conversation before we could get to that..." said the swordsman's ghost.

"Ah, well, maybe the master of the motel should tell you of that. However," she turned subjects "about my offer. Regardless of whether you like it here or not, or whether you like deals or not," she looked at Otogi "I have an offer that could possibly make your stay here more enjoyable. You interested?"

"Well, not really..." said Yugi "I'm with Otogi."

"Same here." said Honda suddenly looking down to the floor.

She continued her smiling. "That's alright. You don't have to make any agreements now. However, if you every find yourself interested..." she paused here to look directly at Honda, then she started up the stairs. "I stay in room 113. Feel free to stop by any time..." her voice trailed off.

The followed, not for the first time nor the last, a long moment of silence, then at last the swordman's ghost spoke. "So, now, would you like me to give you a tour and history? Or would you like--"

All at once, a loud screaming came from overhead. Shana came shooting down the stairs, jumped the last five and landed on Honda, breaking him out of his trance. She was in a most horrible fit of hysterics, worse than before. Tears were streaming down her face. She sobbed and hiccuped uncontrollably and said something like "Change the channel, mummy, I don't like this movie. I don't like this movie...."

"Shhh, shhhh, ok, ok, calm down. Ok. Don't worry. It's not a scary movie." Honda attempted to sound soothing.

"I had a nightmare?"

"Er... not really...."

Her eyes grew wide. "It's real?"

"Uh... well, sort of ... yes."

She began wailing again.

"Honda!"

"Sorry, I can't bear lying to a crying little kid, I'd feel like dirt."

Suddenly, she was both angry and crying.

"PUT ME DOWN! I'M NOT A PRESCHOOLER!! YOU'LD BE SCARED TOO IF YOU SAW AN CHAINSAW MURDERER!!"

"Calm down, chill, I wasn't saying you were a preschool-- chainsaw murderer?!?"

"I think there was a movie about that once." said Yugi. "Wasn't there?"

The sitting ghost began to mutter under his breath "Chainsaw murderer, chainsaw murderer..... oh, chainsaw murderer! You mean Fredrick! Yeah, Fred lives up stairs. He was killed by some fisherman who cut his head off with a big fishing knife when he tried to rape his wife. Hates fishermen to death. Leaves everyone else alone. But he vowed if he ever found a guy he could say was a fisherman, he would cut his head off."

Yugi looked wide-eyed. "Now I know my life's being manipulated. That is way too much coincidence." He started up the stairs.

"What?" said Otogi.

"Meiko. He's still up there, asleep!" All three of them ran back up the stairs. The black trench coat ghost quickly floated up there after them. "Go, Fred! Give it to him! And leave me the heart intact!!!" Shana stayed down stairs, falling asleep on the floor. The sword ghost sighed, then tried to lift her up on to the chair. Meanwhile, the rest of them ran faster, only hoping it wasn't too late for poor Meiko. (Actually, the ghost was hoping it was too late for him, but I'm not that specific.)

**********************************************************

Swishy: Now, if all you readers could do me some favors, I'd be mighty grateful. First of all, if you like my story, then refer it! Tell people who you think would be interested! Get the word out! I can't write very good summaries, so my stories are easily overlooked. I want the world to know about Swishy and her awesome fics!

Shaadi: *is nursing black eye* That is "mighty" egotistical of you, is it not? And you have no right to bother the readers about your stories. If you cannot write summaries, then you are a sorry writer.

Swishy: *to Shaadi* Three words. Odion. Defeated. You.

Shaadi: *twitches uninjured eye.*

Swishy: It's just a little favor, that's all. Also, I need input. Should I "do in" anybody for the duration of the story? Should I let someone get bitten by a werewolf/vampire? Should I let an evil scientist operate on anyone and make them into a monster? Should I behead Meiko and make him a beheaded ghost? *starts getting teary-eyed and upset about the thought of killing Meiko, but Shaadi nudges to continue* Right. Anyways, I want some insight. That's why I want more readers. More readers = more insight.

Shaadi: Don't put symbols in your speech.

Swishy: *gets little vein pulsing over her eye, then does something to Shaadi*

Shaadi: stop b-ing sEw... wha r u doing 2 my spech? st0p it! cut i‡ Out! this is realy funy h@ h@

Swishy: *smiles sweetly* I know. That's why I did it.

Swishy: Finally, as always, read and review. Good comments means Shaadi has less to say against me. His job is already in question, so I might wind up firing him...

Shaadi: *gasp* But, where would I go?

Swishy: I'll replace you with Malik! He's so much more handsome, and he doesn't criticize me much.

Shaadi: That is because you are both insane.

Malik: *is angry and viciously attacks Shaadi with his Millennium Rod he re-took from Yugi*

Shaadi: *backs away* Why do you let so many people in that are dangerous to my health? *pauses* Say, wouldn't this be considered "Shaadi-bashing"?

Swishy: *thinks about it* Oooh, you know what? You're right. Sorry Malik, Shaadi's taken his maximum abuse for the day. You can't hurt him any more.

Malik: *frowns* You just ruined my whole point of being here. *starts to leave*

Swishy: ... unless, I were to re-write the summary to include "Shaadi-bashing". I think I'll go and do that to clear up any earlier possible bashing...

Malik: *gets evil look on face*

Shaadi: Uh, Swishy, your summaries are fine! And I don't have any problems with symbols! Swishy? Swishy! SWISHY!!...