OH4H: Oky doodle boys and girls, havn't had a fic from me for a while eh? Nope not dead, just busy. So I wrote a song-fic. Hope ya like!

Disclaimer: I don't own the song Objection, but do I own M*A*S*H?

OH4H: Excuse me Mr. Fox-representative, I would like to buy M*A*S*H and it's characters.

Mr. Fox-representative: How much ya got?

OH4H: uh....3 cents.

Mr. Fox-representative: No dice.

OH4H: Fine then! But if I were you, I'd watch for explosives in my milk!

Guess I don't own it then.

Carley sat across from Hawkeye on his couch. Ever since she divorced, she knew that Hawkeye was the person she wanted to be with. And she was surprised to find that he would still want to be with her. But now...she knew it wasn't her that he wanted.

It's not her fault that she's so irresistible

But all the damage she's caused isn't fixable

Every twenty seconds you repeat her name

But when it comes to me you don't care

If I'm alive or dead.

"Hawkeye, I don't think that this can work." she said. Hawkeye looked at her, and she could see that there wasn't very much surprise in his eyes.

"I didn't think it would. But, why?" Hawkeye asked, he just needed to know.

Next to her cheap silicone I look minimal

That's why in front of your eyes I'm invisible

But you gotta know small things also count

You better put your feet on the ground

And see what it's about.

"I wish there was a chance for you and me I wish you couldn't find a place to be away from here..." Carley took a breath. "Because there's a certain Blonde major that you left your heart with."

This is pathetic and sardonic

It's sadistic and psychotic

Tango is not for three

Was never meant to be

But you can try it

Rehearse it

Or train like your horse

But don't you count on me

Oh don't you count on me boy

"Goodbye Hawkeye." Carley said kissing his cheek. She left, wishing she didn't have to.

Hawkeye sat there. He tried to put her out of his mind, but it didn't work. And apparently it was obvious. He got up and searched the room, finding his address book, he mad a life changing phone call.

"Hello, Colonel? It's Hawkeye. Yeah, I'm still in Crabapple Cove. How are you? Oh, that's good. Uhh... Colonel, sorry. Sherm, do you happen to have the number of a certain Blonde Major?"