Disclaimer: This is purely a writing exercise borrowing the background and
characters from the Harry Potter series by J.K Rowlings. The only profit I
hope to make is my own personal satisfaction.
Summary: Summer after 5th year, Harry enters the adult world. He learns to trust, himself and others, as the war approaches and chaos reigns. (not slash) (hp/?)(hg/rw)
A/N Well, the writing is picking up steam, but I would like to get a Beta. Please let me know (karay@oddpost.com) if you are up for the challenge. Oh yeah, reviews, are always welcome. (
***
Chapter 2: Dumbledore's Office
It was evening, and Harry was sitting on his bed, in the gathering dark, staring out of the window. There was not much to do. Hedwig had just left for her nightly hunt. She was a bit miffed with Harry because of his bad mood. The stars were slowly beginning to fill the sky. All Harry wanted to do was fly, fly free on his broom and just forget his responsibilities.
A sudden flash of light almost made him scream like a little girl. It was Fawkes, Dumbledore's familiar. The radiance from his plumage lit up the small room in a soft red glow. Fakes trilled a note and cocked his head to peer at Harry curiously. "Hullo Fawkes. I am glad to see you. Have you brought something from Dumbledore?"
Fawkes let out a throaty squawk in reply and turned around to put his long tail feathers in Harry's lap.
"Oh you want me to go with you? Hmm ok .." Harry grabbed Fawkes' tail. A wonderful sensation of weightlessness spread through him. Suddenly there was a whooshing noise and he was flying. He was far up in the air and the street lights were merely specks. He could see a long line of headlights far down on a motorway; the last bit of the evening rush hour traffic. Harry didn't know how long he was up in the air, but it seemed like an eternity, and a moment at the same time. All of a sudden he was on his hands and knees on the plush carpet in the Headmasters office. Fawkes craned his neck to make sure Harry had let go of his tail, then trilled melodiously, and flew to his perch. The Office was same as before, the multitude of glittering instruments were back in their places, the former headmasters dozing in their frames, and Dumbledore in a twinkling robe sitting behind the desk.
"Thanks Fawkes! I really needed that." Harry called out to the bird.
"Well it seems Fawkes somehow knew." Albus Dumbledore was peering at him over his half moon spectacles. A smile was tugging at his moustache. "I was about to make a portkey for you, but Fawkes decided to bring you here himself. His instincts often are much better than mine." Dumbledore's twinkling eyes and the smile faded away to regret and compassion. . Harry thought he was prepared for those eyes, but no amount of preparation could shield one from the utter sincerity in the depth of those bright blue orbs. Shaking his head slightly as he broke eye contact, Harry greeted the Headmaster. "Hello Professor, I guess you got the message I sent you."
"Yes, Harry. Thank you for your apology and your kind offer to replace my little trinkets, but, do not worry for they have been well repaired. House elves are rather good at repairing objects." The twinkling though more subdued, had returned.
Harry flushed remembering his tantrum.
"So Harry, what do you want to talk about?"
Not yet meeting Dumbledore's eyes, Harry mumbled, "The prophesy."
"I am afraid that I must ask you to expound a little. What do you think of the Prophecy? What does it mean?"
Harry steeled himself. "It is me or him." He stated flatly. "I do not know why it has to be me. I don't want this responsibility. But if it is true, then I must do something about it, I have to prepare myself and you can help me. I am ready."
Dumbledore gave a small sad smile. "No you are not, Harry.."
Harry's eyes flashed dangerously. Dumbledore raised his hand in a quieting gesture.
"Listen to me Harry. Let us put the prophecy aside for a moment. The most important thing, if you are going to be ready for anything, even a normal year in school, would be coping with your loss."
"I am fine!" was all Harry managed to gnash out. "And we all know that I will never have a normal school year. We knew that even before the prophecy. The only reason you are interested right now is because you want to keep your weapon sharp. Well I am ready! I want to fight Voldemort and get it over with, so, I can, if possible, lead a normal life."
The look of pain in Dumbledore's eyes was enough to make Harry turn away. He was not going be foolish enough to trust the manipulative old man again!
"Harry....? Harry do you really believe that?"
There was a long silence followed by a sniff.
"Harry, I know I have failed you. But, I did whatever I did with the best of intentions. You may not believe it, but the last thing you are to me is a weapon."
Harry looked up to see his professor slumped in his chair. Never, had he seen his headmaster look so old and tired.
"Intentions, Harry, intentions. Good intentions; but it is hard to predict the consequences of our actions. In the end its the consequences that we live with, but our intentions make us who we are."
Consequences of good intentions; Harry knew a lot about that. Wormtail was still alive, Cedric was dead and Sirius .... "So what is the point of having good intentions if they can so easily have horrible results?"
Dumbledore looked up from his lap. A little of the twinkle was back in eyes. "Do you think, Harry, that if you did not have those good intentions, Arthur would be alive today? What about Ginny? What about Hermione?"
Harry blushed yet again.
"We are not merely observers in this world. Well, I guess, we could be that, but what use is a life then? It takes courage to take action, but it also takes courage to face up to those consequences. I am ready to face the consequences of my actions. So, before we do anything I would like you to take your time, and ask me any questions you may have. I will try my best to answer them truthfully, as long they have to do with you. I must make it clear, however, that I will not betray someone else's trust, nor will I give you information about the Order. But other than that you may ask me any question."
Harry was stunned for a second, but, Dumbledore's caveats rubbed him the wrong way. "Why can't I know about the Order? After all, I am the one who has to face Voldemort!"
"I think you already know part of the answer to that, Harry. The first reason is your Occlumency skills, or lack thereof." The second reason is more complicated. Knowledge, as you may have guessed, can be a terrible burden. Do you think, Harry, that you are ready for the burden of knowing what risks the members have to take? Do you think you face up to the consequences of sending your friends and loved ones into danger?"
Harry had never felt stupider in his entire life.
"One day Harry, one day you might have to take these burdens, but for now I would like to preserve whatever is left of your childhood. Please let me do this for you."
Harry's eyes were stinging from trying to hold back the tears threatening to burst forth. Somehow, Dumbledore always made him feel like a little kid. Harry brushed his eyes to get rid of any moisture before venturing a look at Dumbledore.
Dumbledore looked slightly better. Noticing that Harry was looking up, He leaned forward and poured Harry a cup of tea. "Biscuit?" he offered.
Harry nodded his thanks and picked up his cup. There was a long silence as Harry sipped at his tea and composed himself. He had a feeling that Dumbledore was doing the same.
"Professor," Harry ventured, "how come you are not afraid that Voldemort will posses me now?"
Dumbledore eased back in his chair, seeming more at ease, now that Harry was speaking.
"The way you expelled him from your mind at the Ministry was not a pleasant experience for Tom. I believe that he is weakened. Not too weakened, but weakened enough to not try something like that this soon. I think he also believes the prophecy has been destroyed, and, that you do not possess it. However, we have to make sure you can protect yourself from any mental attacks. We will discuss that later. Do you have any other questions for me Harry?"
"Umm.. is this the only time this offer is open? I don't think I can do question-answer things like this." There were too many questions in Harry's head for him to be able to pick one out.
"Of course! This offer stands for any future conversations we have." Dumbledore's twinkles were back in full force.
Harry did not know whether to trust the man yet. A part of him desperately wanted to. He knew Dumbledore had been right to keep the prophecy from him. It was too much to handle even at almost-sixteen. He also knew that he needed Dumbledore's aid to face what was to come.
"Harry we need to talk about your training."
Harry nodded mutely.
"First of all, I do not want to rush you, except for Occlumency. You need to acquire that skill as soon as possible. I have been considering training you myself, but there are some conditions and problems attached to that. The main problem is that of secrecy. If Voldemort gets wind of my close involvement in your training, he will immediately assume that you know about the prophecy. Even in his weakened state he will not hesitate to attack your mind to find the ending to the prophecy. Therefore, one of the conditions is total secrecy. That includes Miss Granger, Mr. Weasely or any of your other friends." Seeing a scowl form on Harry's face, Dumbledore paused. Slowly the scowl melted away and Harry nodded. Dumbledore continued, "I am sorry to have to insist on the secrecy issue. In addition to that, I cannot offer you a fixed schedule. I will be quite busy in the next few months with the Ministry, the Order and preparing Hogwarts for the next year. Luckily, Professor Mcgonagal has kindly offered to take care of most of my Headmaster duties for now. However, I will try to drop in every two days or so and unfortunately it might be at random hours. You must be prepared to give your all in this effort. We shall discuss your other training at the end of your stay with the Dursleys. Are you agreeable with these conditions?"
Harry nodded. He was too overjoyed at not having to continue his lessons with Snape to care. He was also relieved at having something to do with his mind and his time while at Privet Drive.
"Well then, I have some books for you to peruse before we start." Dumbledore waved his hand causing a number of books from the shelves to jump into his hand. Handing these to Harry, he said, "I suggest you get through as much of the book by Findlay as you can. Try to absorb the material, and feel free to try things out. Some of the other books are not related to Occlumency, but I think you might find them interesting."
Harry looked at the pile and nodded his assent.
"Well, Harry, do you have any more questions?"
"Mm.... Professor, I wanted to ask you about the wards. You see I want to take a few walks, but I remembered the Dementor incident last year, and it seems that the wards do not extend out side the house."
Dumbledore's faced darkened momentarily as Harry mentioned the Dementors. "Ah! Good question, Harry. I had almost forgotten. It is true that the wards do not extend far. I will get back to you on that one soon." Dumbledore paused to think and for a moment Harry thought he noticed a gleam in his Headmaster's eyes. It went away too fast for Harry to comment on it and Dumbledore smiled and raised an eyebrow at Harry. "Till then, I hope you will not stray too far away from the protection of the house."
Harry looked at the pile of books in front of him and realized that those would hopefully keep in occupied in any case. "I think I can manage that. Thank you, Professor."
"We shall talk again very soon. I think I shall be visiting you for your first lesson day after tomorrow. I am also going to have a check to see how your relatives are keeping their word this year."
The little smile accompanied by the last sentence made Harry realize that Dumbledore knew about the confrontation at the station.
Dumbledore stood up and brushed a few crumbs from his robe. Harry knew this was a sign of dismissal. He followed suit and grabbed his pile of books. Fawkes, who had been uncharacteristically quiet the entire visit, flew across the room to Dumbledore's desk. Harry bid the Professor goodnight and grabbed Fawkes' tail for another ride.
Summary: Summer after 5th year, Harry enters the adult world. He learns to trust, himself and others, as the war approaches and chaos reigns. (not slash) (hp/?)(hg/rw)
A/N Well, the writing is picking up steam, but I would like to get a Beta. Please let me know (karay@oddpost.com) if you are up for the challenge. Oh yeah, reviews, are always welcome. (
***
Chapter 2: Dumbledore's Office
It was evening, and Harry was sitting on his bed, in the gathering dark, staring out of the window. There was not much to do. Hedwig had just left for her nightly hunt. She was a bit miffed with Harry because of his bad mood. The stars were slowly beginning to fill the sky. All Harry wanted to do was fly, fly free on his broom and just forget his responsibilities.
A sudden flash of light almost made him scream like a little girl. It was Fawkes, Dumbledore's familiar. The radiance from his plumage lit up the small room in a soft red glow. Fakes trilled a note and cocked his head to peer at Harry curiously. "Hullo Fawkes. I am glad to see you. Have you brought something from Dumbledore?"
Fawkes let out a throaty squawk in reply and turned around to put his long tail feathers in Harry's lap.
"Oh you want me to go with you? Hmm ok .." Harry grabbed Fawkes' tail. A wonderful sensation of weightlessness spread through him. Suddenly there was a whooshing noise and he was flying. He was far up in the air and the street lights were merely specks. He could see a long line of headlights far down on a motorway; the last bit of the evening rush hour traffic. Harry didn't know how long he was up in the air, but it seemed like an eternity, and a moment at the same time. All of a sudden he was on his hands and knees on the plush carpet in the Headmasters office. Fawkes craned his neck to make sure Harry had let go of his tail, then trilled melodiously, and flew to his perch. The Office was same as before, the multitude of glittering instruments were back in their places, the former headmasters dozing in their frames, and Dumbledore in a twinkling robe sitting behind the desk.
"Thanks Fawkes! I really needed that." Harry called out to the bird.
"Well it seems Fawkes somehow knew." Albus Dumbledore was peering at him over his half moon spectacles. A smile was tugging at his moustache. "I was about to make a portkey for you, but Fawkes decided to bring you here himself. His instincts often are much better than mine." Dumbledore's twinkling eyes and the smile faded away to regret and compassion. . Harry thought he was prepared for those eyes, but no amount of preparation could shield one from the utter sincerity in the depth of those bright blue orbs. Shaking his head slightly as he broke eye contact, Harry greeted the Headmaster. "Hello Professor, I guess you got the message I sent you."
"Yes, Harry. Thank you for your apology and your kind offer to replace my little trinkets, but, do not worry for they have been well repaired. House elves are rather good at repairing objects." The twinkling though more subdued, had returned.
Harry flushed remembering his tantrum.
"So Harry, what do you want to talk about?"
Not yet meeting Dumbledore's eyes, Harry mumbled, "The prophesy."
"I am afraid that I must ask you to expound a little. What do you think of the Prophecy? What does it mean?"
Harry steeled himself. "It is me or him." He stated flatly. "I do not know why it has to be me. I don't want this responsibility. But if it is true, then I must do something about it, I have to prepare myself and you can help me. I am ready."
Dumbledore gave a small sad smile. "No you are not, Harry.."
Harry's eyes flashed dangerously. Dumbledore raised his hand in a quieting gesture.
"Listen to me Harry. Let us put the prophecy aside for a moment. The most important thing, if you are going to be ready for anything, even a normal year in school, would be coping with your loss."
"I am fine!" was all Harry managed to gnash out. "And we all know that I will never have a normal school year. We knew that even before the prophecy. The only reason you are interested right now is because you want to keep your weapon sharp. Well I am ready! I want to fight Voldemort and get it over with, so, I can, if possible, lead a normal life."
The look of pain in Dumbledore's eyes was enough to make Harry turn away. He was not going be foolish enough to trust the manipulative old man again!
"Harry....? Harry do you really believe that?"
There was a long silence followed by a sniff.
"Harry, I know I have failed you. But, I did whatever I did with the best of intentions. You may not believe it, but the last thing you are to me is a weapon."
Harry looked up to see his professor slumped in his chair. Never, had he seen his headmaster look so old and tired.
"Intentions, Harry, intentions. Good intentions; but it is hard to predict the consequences of our actions. In the end its the consequences that we live with, but our intentions make us who we are."
Consequences of good intentions; Harry knew a lot about that. Wormtail was still alive, Cedric was dead and Sirius .... "So what is the point of having good intentions if they can so easily have horrible results?"
Dumbledore looked up from his lap. A little of the twinkle was back in eyes. "Do you think, Harry, that if you did not have those good intentions, Arthur would be alive today? What about Ginny? What about Hermione?"
Harry blushed yet again.
"We are not merely observers in this world. Well, I guess, we could be that, but what use is a life then? It takes courage to take action, but it also takes courage to face up to those consequences. I am ready to face the consequences of my actions. So, before we do anything I would like you to take your time, and ask me any questions you may have. I will try my best to answer them truthfully, as long they have to do with you. I must make it clear, however, that I will not betray someone else's trust, nor will I give you information about the Order. But other than that you may ask me any question."
Harry was stunned for a second, but, Dumbledore's caveats rubbed him the wrong way. "Why can't I know about the Order? After all, I am the one who has to face Voldemort!"
"I think you already know part of the answer to that, Harry. The first reason is your Occlumency skills, or lack thereof." The second reason is more complicated. Knowledge, as you may have guessed, can be a terrible burden. Do you think, Harry, that you are ready for the burden of knowing what risks the members have to take? Do you think you face up to the consequences of sending your friends and loved ones into danger?"
Harry had never felt stupider in his entire life.
"One day Harry, one day you might have to take these burdens, but for now I would like to preserve whatever is left of your childhood. Please let me do this for you."
Harry's eyes were stinging from trying to hold back the tears threatening to burst forth. Somehow, Dumbledore always made him feel like a little kid. Harry brushed his eyes to get rid of any moisture before venturing a look at Dumbledore.
Dumbledore looked slightly better. Noticing that Harry was looking up, He leaned forward and poured Harry a cup of tea. "Biscuit?" he offered.
Harry nodded his thanks and picked up his cup. There was a long silence as Harry sipped at his tea and composed himself. He had a feeling that Dumbledore was doing the same.
"Professor," Harry ventured, "how come you are not afraid that Voldemort will posses me now?"
Dumbledore eased back in his chair, seeming more at ease, now that Harry was speaking.
"The way you expelled him from your mind at the Ministry was not a pleasant experience for Tom. I believe that he is weakened. Not too weakened, but weakened enough to not try something like that this soon. I think he also believes the prophecy has been destroyed, and, that you do not possess it. However, we have to make sure you can protect yourself from any mental attacks. We will discuss that later. Do you have any other questions for me Harry?"
"Umm.. is this the only time this offer is open? I don't think I can do question-answer things like this." There were too many questions in Harry's head for him to be able to pick one out.
"Of course! This offer stands for any future conversations we have." Dumbledore's twinkles were back in full force.
Harry did not know whether to trust the man yet. A part of him desperately wanted to. He knew Dumbledore had been right to keep the prophecy from him. It was too much to handle even at almost-sixteen. He also knew that he needed Dumbledore's aid to face what was to come.
"Harry we need to talk about your training."
Harry nodded mutely.
"First of all, I do not want to rush you, except for Occlumency. You need to acquire that skill as soon as possible. I have been considering training you myself, but there are some conditions and problems attached to that. The main problem is that of secrecy. If Voldemort gets wind of my close involvement in your training, he will immediately assume that you know about the prophecy. Even in his weakened state he will not hesitate to attack your mind to find the ending to the prophecy. Therefore, one of the conditions is total secrecy. That includes Miss Granger, Mr. Weasely or any of your other friends." Seeing a scowl form on Harry's face, Dumbledore paused. Slowly the scowl melted away and Harry nodded. Dumbledore continued, "I am sorry to have to insist on the secrecy issue. In addition to that, I cannot offer you a fixed schedule. I will be quite busy in the next few months with the Ministry, the Order and preparing Hogwarts for the next year. Luckily, Professor Mcgonagal has kindly offered to take care of most of my Headmaster duties for now. However, I will try to drop in every two days or so and unfortunately it might be at random hours. You must be prepared to give your all in this effort. We shall discuss your other training at the end of your stay with the Dursleys. Are you agreeable with these conditions?"
Harry nodded. He was too overjoyed at not having to continue his lessons with Snape to care. He was also relieved at having something to do with his mind and his time while at Privet Drive.
"Well then, I have some books for you to peruse before we start." Dumbledore waved his hand causing a number of books from the shelves to jump into his hand. Handing these to Harry, he said, "I suggest you get through as much of the book by Findlay as you can. Try to absorb the material, and feel free to try things out. Some of the other books are not related to Occlumency, but I think you might find them interesting."
Harry looked at the pile and nodded his assent.
"Well, Harry, do you have any more questions?"
"Mm.... Professor, I wanted to ask you about the wards. You see I want to take a few walks, but I remembered the Dementor incident last year, and it seems that the wards do not extend out side the house."
Dumbledore's faced darkened momentarily as Harry mentioned the Dementors. "Ah! Good question, Harry. I had almost forgotten. It is true that the wards do not extend far. I will get back to you on that one soon." Dumbledore paused to think and for a moment Harry thought he noticed a gleam in his Headmaster's eyes. It went away too fast for Harry to comment on it and Dumbledore smiled and raised an eyebrow at Harry. "Till then, I hope you will not stray too far away from the protection of the house."
Harry looked at the pile of books in front of him and realized that those would hopefully keep in occupied in any case. "I think I can manage that. Thank you, Professor."
"We shall talk again very soon. I think I shall be visiting you for your first lesson day after tomorrow. I am also going to have a check to see how your relatives are keeping their word this year."
The little smile accompanied by the last sentence made Harry realize that Dumbledore knew about the confrontation at the station.
Dumbledore stood up and brushed a few crumbs from his robe. Harry knew this was a sign of dismissal. He followed suit and grabbed his pile of books. Fawkes, who had been uncharacteristically quiet the entire visit, flew across the room to Dumbledore's desk. Harry bid the Professor goodnight and grabbed Fawkes' tail for another ride.