With a heavy heart I started trudging back towards the Brooklyn
Lodging House. Trying to light a cigarette, I sighed in frustration as my
hands were shaking so badly. I barely noticed when two dirty, strong hands
took the match and smoke from mine and lit it for me. Glancing up I looked
at Spot blankly when he stuck the cigarette between my lips after taking a
drag. Silently we regarded each other until he reached out a hand and
cupped my cheek gently in his palm.
"We'll straighten all this out, don't worry." I closed my eyes at the softness in his voice and struggled to not let my own voice waver. Blinking back hot, stinging tears I bit my lip.
"I like Racetrack, Spot. I don't want him to hate me." Spot looked taken aback at my eyes filled with moisture and turned his head away before pulling me against his chest. I felt him rubbing my back and stiffening slightly I finally stopped resisting and burrowed my face into the front of his scratchy, rough shirt.
"Hey, have you guys seen Racetr..Oh, sorry." Guiltily although we weren't doing anything wrong, Spot and I sprang apart. Meesh stood in front of us, her face a mask as she looked the two of us over. I'm certain if it had been daylight my cheeks would be the color of the apples Racetrack and I had eaten earlier. Smirking and nodding slightly as if confirming something, Meesh shook her head and after apologizing again, took off in the direction Racetrack had disappeared.
Throwing Spot a look, I took off again, striding ahead of him. He caught up to me and put my smaller hand into his own, tucking it into his pocket. I ducked my head in embarrassment, but didn't argue. When we reached the warehouse, light, music, and loud voices spilling out of the windows and open door, we separated. I didn't want anyone to see us and make things difficult. Everyone had known that Race had a thing for me. It was highly obvious apparently to everyone but me. Remembering Jack's earlier comments I began to worry about what would happen when the boys found out that I had chosen Spot. Would they and the girls shun me for accepting Spot and shunning Racetrack's affections? I wondered if I would still be welcome in Manhattan. Spot, being the ever-wise, all-knowing creature that I soon found out he was drew me to one side.
"If anyone starts giving you a hard time, about..You know us, well you can always stay here." I looked up at him with wide, unblinking eyes.
"So there is an 'us'?" In the dim light I saw him raise his chin and look down his nose at me for a second or two before he chucked a knuckle under my chin.
"If you agree there is," he said simply before kissing me once more briefly and entering the lodging house hollering for a pint. I bent over to make sure the diary was still safely tucked into my boot before following him in. Most of the newsies were slumped into chairs or lying in corners sleeping. Some were sitting at a table singing drunkenly and trying to play cards. I saw Spot drain a pint down in a dirty glass before he beckoned me to follow him up a flight of stairs. The stairs were narrow and creaked yet Spot must have known them well for he seemed to not step on any of the noisy stairs. We entered a small bedroom that he whispered was his as he lit a candle. I glanced over into the corner and muffled a gasp.
A small boy lay on a makeshift cot, his eyes swollen shut, breathing raggedly. His blonde hair was matted with sweat and he mumbled brokenly in his sleep. His face was skinny and shadowed with bruises. Spot brought the candle closer to the boy's face and looked him over before nodding and tucking the blanket underneath his chin. The boy couldn't have been more than eight or nine.
"That's Loon." Spot's voice was close to me and I broke out of my stupor and glanced up at him. There was a fierce glint in his eyes as he set the candle down onto a crate that served as a nightstand. A mattress lay on the floor in the other corner, a misshapen pillow and moth-eaten quilt flung carelessly across it. A few hooks decorated the walls along with holes and spots where plaster was missing and wood shown through looking like ribs. A few shirts and a cap or two were hung on the hooks. I saw Spot start to empty his trouser pants.
A handful of coins went into a jar, and a slingshot and a pair of brass knuckles went onto the crate. I noticed a switchblade sitting on the crate, and picked it up. Turning it over I saw the initials 'M.S.F.' carved into the handle. I jumped as Spot roughly took it away from me.
"Don't touch that," he hissed carefully setting it down. Taken aback, I tried to make my voice not sound hurt.
"Why the hell not?"
"That was Cards' blade. Nobody touches it." Cards, the newsie who had been murdered by my brothers. I didn't blame Spot then as I saw him tenderly pat the thing before starting to unbutton his shirt.
"Were you close?" Spot snorted and tossed me a thin smile as he drew the shirt over his head. He definitely wasn't as thin and scrawny as he had been five years ago. His shoulders had widened and he had an actual defined chest. Narrow muscles strained in his shoulders as he pulled an undershirt on.
"He was a kid, but he was a Brooklyn newsie. He was family. All the boys here are a family. Nobody came to his funeral but us kids when he was buried. And I made sure he was buried in a proper cemetery, not the poor people's one. His grave is marked." Spot's fists tightened before loosening again as he lit a cigarette. A cough rattled through his chest before he spat out the window.
"Spot?" the thin voice pierced the semi-darkness and Spot moved towards the cot.
"I'm here, kid." I saw a corner of Loon's mouth turn up crookedly before he settled back down into a restless sleep.
"I should go," I said feeling a wave of guilt hit me. Spot turned his face towards me, but I couldn't read his expression. Shrugging, he rose and took me into his arms.
"Could always stay here with me," Flushing I protested and managed to disentangle myself. Bad news if I spent the night here, I was fairly certain of it.
"Fine, Misery. Run away from me now, I'll let you go. But there may come a time when I won't let you get away so easily." I threw him a look that I hoped was mysterious.
"Catch me if you can, when I come your way*." He rose and started towards me, but I held up a hand in warning and shook my head.
I shuddered and backed out of the room, quickly going back the way we had come. Downstairs most of the Manhattan newsies were gathering and preparing for the walk back. I didn't see Meesh and Racetrack, and I was glad. Bourbon was busy kissing Riddle who had a firm hold on her waist. I saw Pistol standing behind them kissing the air in an exaggerated, mocking way. Blink, Mush, and Jack were all roaring with laughter. Bourbon finished with Riddle and swatted at Pistol who hid behind Blink.
"Don't think he'll save you, Pistol!" Bourbon shouted at the girl who only stuck her head around Blink and slowly stuck her tongue out crossing her eyes. Riddle neatly snagged Bourbon and pulled her back against him as she shrieked and lunged for the smaller girl. Pokey paused in her job of herding drunken Brooklyn newsies up the stairs to go to bed to give Jack a quick peck on the cheek. Jack winked at her and whispered something in her ear that made her cheeks turn pink. Casting one last look over her shoulder at him she helped a Brooklyn boy up the stairs.
"Where's Race?" I winced at Bumlets's question and hoped nobody had noticed.
"Misery do you have any idea?" I shook my head mutely.
"I think he and Meesh headed back to the lodging house early," was all I could manage to say. Jack gave me an odd look before shrugging and leading the way out the door. Silently I trudged along next to Pistol and Blink.
The streets were dark and not very well lit. I couldn't get rid of the worry about what I was going to do with Racetrack out of my head. As we crossed the Bridge, I stopped long enough to look out over the water and up at the stars. Pistol and Blink stopped with me, reluctant to let one of our group fall behind.
"It's so pretty here sometimes," I murmured. Pistol nodded in agreement while Blink lit a cigarette and shook his head at our feminine sentiments. I took a drag off of Blink's smoke when he offered it as did Pistol before he jerked his head towards Manhattan, a lock of his blonde hair falling into his one good eye.
"We should get headin' girls."
"I'm surprised Race isn't here and that he left early. He's been glued to your side the past few days." I stumbled and angrily swished my skirts wishing desperately for my ratty pair of trousers.
"Yeah well, you know boys. Their minds change rather quickly I'm afraid." Pistol snorted and looked at me sideways.
"As do girls minds I take it."
"So you saw me with Spot," I said flatly. She nodded and slung an arm around my shoulder.
"Look kid," I snorted briefly but listened.
"I like ya; I think you're a good person. I know that even though I haven't known you for that long, that you wouldn't do anything to hurt any of us. Especially those you're close to and I think you and Race are fairly close. I also think that Spot snared you the moment you two had your first run-in. He usually snares girls pretty quick, ain't that right Blink?" Blink puffed on his cigarette and nodded.
"I just hope that Spot's got it bad for ya and he ain't going to make you one of his one week broads." I raised an eyebrow and glanced at Pistol who was studying me with an intent, sage look in her young eyes.
"Trust me Pistol; I won't let myself be made into one of those. Once I get that hint, I'm gone." Pistol cast me a look as if to say that she agreed with me. I knew that I wasn't that stupid and I hoped that the others didn't think me as such. We strode on in the darkness the rest of the newsies ahead of us proclaimed by clouds of cigarette smoke and snatches of conversation.
When we reached the lodging house we found the door to be unlocked by a highly lenient Kloppman. Jack waved the lot of us upstairs and we stumbled up the stairway and in to our respective bunkrooms. The extra bunk that was normally empty was occupied by a snoring Meesh. I let out a brief sigh of relief that Racetrack was okay. Stripping myself of my clothes and hauling on my regular threads I made my way out into the hallway and through the boy's bunkroom. A few of the boys were still changing and they either protested my lack of decency or smirked at me as I made my way to the fire escape.
Striking a match I lit a smoke and inhaled deeply. Things were going way too fast for my liking. It was as if by meeting this group of newsboys and girls that my life was changing at the speed of lightning. I wasn't altogether sure how to take the whole thing. I knew that I cared about Racetrack, Spot, Pistol, Bourbon, and the whole lot. I also knew that were I to let slip my connections that it wouldn't matter if I was the President's daughter the whole crew would denounce me with such alacrity that my head would spin.
Exhaling a rather large cloud of cigarette smoke I mused thoughtfully about things. Tapping my fingers on the metal bar of the fire escape in front of me I hummed thoughtlessly. It wasn't until Bourbon was outside with me that I even realized her presence.
"'Ey, Misery how're you holding up?" Through the fumes of alcohol that clouded my brain I nodded at her. She nodded back and lit up her own cancer stick. Together we smoked companionably before she spoke.
"Spot has taken a real likin' to yah," was all she said. I almost choked on a cloud of nicotine as I eyed her reproachfully.
"So what, does that make me a horrible person because Racetrack wanted me first?" Bourbon eyed me without emotion.
"Don't get sassy with me kid; I don't care who likes ya and who doesn't. Racetrack would treat you better, that's all." I sighed deeply and neither of us said anything for a few moments. Bourbon flicked her cigarette over the railing and muttered something about getting up early. I finished my cigarette and flicked it away from me, watching it fall glowing to the sidewalk where it shattered into a pile of bright embers. Tomorrow was the day I set about trying to make things right.
A/N - That little sentence with the asterisk is from a song by The Adicts which I love desperately.
"I Am Yours"
Catch me if you can
When I come your way
Catch me if you can
I'm falling like the rain
Everyday I see you
But you're so far away
Every way I love you
Don't you know I love you so
I would never ever let you go
I am yours
Whenever you want me
I am yours whenever you need me
All I do is dream of you
All through the night
Will I ever hold you
Don't you know I love you so
I would never ever let you go
I might do some fiction based on a couple sappy punk songs but I'm undecided. Ok so that's it for that chapter. -A/N
My Dog Ate My Penname - Yes I know how dogs can be. Mine like to eat a lot and poop everywhere. I hope you update soon!! Don't worry Race won't be sad for long.
Netangel182 - Thank you so much! I honestly didn't know if I would be able to pull something like this off but my indecision with where the characters are going only seems to help add to it. Thank you!
Pokey7 - I knew you'd like the whole Jack flirting thing. ;D Yeah I know how Misery feels too and boy does it suck. Can't help but feel bad for making one person hurt when you choose the other. Ah well such is love.
Chelsea - AHAHA..Yeah Spot is a hot asshole, damn him. I'm not sure if he likes Misery because Race does or not. Race and Spot are friends unfortunately. Bro's before Ho's. Maybe she won't end up with either of 'em..There will definitely be some retribution for who Misery has history with.
Cabby1 - Hehe you just might have your wish. Unfortunately I'm wicked and I won't say anything else just yet.
Spots_girl_Sparks - Thanks for the review! I love it when new readers review.*dances* Anyway.I hope you keep reading.
Maybe I Don't Wanna Go - Hahaha, I know how you feel bout Spot I feel the same way. I'm trying to update as much as possible but I've been sick and not wanting to do anything except sleep. But here's an update for yah!
Chronicles Bailey - Ah thanks for clearing that up. I'll see what I can do to authenticate their way of speaking.
JustDuck - I'm just as torn as you are and that's horrible because I'm writing this damn story. Hehe blushing is good, that's quite a compliment. Sorry about the delay with this update but like I mentioned up there somewhere I've been sick. Thank you!!
"We'll straighten all this out, don't worry." I closed my eyes at the softness in his voice and struggled to not let my own voice waver. Blinking back hot, stinging tears I bit my lip.
"I like Racetrack, Spot. I don't want him to hate me." Spot looked taken aback at my eyes filled with moisture and turned his head away before pulling me against his chest. I felt him rubbing my back and stiffening slightly I finally stopped resisting and burrowed my face into the front of his scratchy, rough shirt.
"Hey, have you guys seen Racetr..Oh, sorry." Guiltily although we weren't doing anything wrong, Spot and I sprang apart. Meesh stood in front of us, her face a mask as she looked the two of us over. I'm certain if it had been daylight my cheeks would be the color of the apples Racetrack and I had eaten earlier. Smirking and nodding slightly as if confirming something, Meesh shook her head and after apologizing again, took off in the direction Racetrack had disappeared.
Throwing Spot a look, I took off again, striding ahead of him. He caught up to me and put my smaller hand into his own, tucking it into his pocket. I ducked my head in embarrassment, but didn't argue. When we reached the warehouse, light, music, and loud voices spilling out of the windows and open door, we separated. I didn't want anyone to see us and make things difficult. Everyone had known that Race had a thing for me. It was highly obvious apparently to everyone but me. Remembering Jack's earlier comments I began to worry about what would happen when the boys found out that I had chosen Spot. Would they and the girls shun me for accepting Spot and shunning Racetrack's affections? I wondered if I would still be welcome in Manhattan. Spot, being the ever-wise, all-knowing creature that I soon found out he was drew me to one side.
"If anyone starts giving you a hard time, about..You know us, well you can always stay here." I looked up at him with wide, unblinking eyes.
"So there is an 'us'?" In the dim light I saw him raise his chin and look down his nose at me for a second or two before he chucked a knuckle under my chin.
"If you agree there is," he said simply before kissing me once more briefly and entering the lodging house hollering for a pint. I bent over to make sure the diary was still safely tucked into my boot before following him in. Most of the newsies were slumped into chairs or lying in corners sleeping. Some were sitting at a table singing drunkenly and trying to play cards. I saw Spot drain a pint down in a dirty glass before he beckoned me to follow him up a flight of stairs. The stairs were narrow and creaked yet Spot must have known them well for he seemed to not step on any of the noisy stairs. We entered a small bedroom that he whispered was his as he lit a candle. I glanced over into the corner and muffled a gasp.
A small boy lay on a makeshift cot, his eyes swollen shut, breathing raggedly. His blonde hair was matted with sweat and he mumbled brokenly in his sleep. His face was skinny and shadowed with bruises. Spot brought the candle closer to the boy's face and looked him over before nodding and tucking the blanket underneath his chin. The boy couldn't have been more than eight or nine.
"That's Loon." Spot's voice was close to me and I broke out of my stupor and glanced up at him. There was a fierce glint in his eyes as he set the candle down onto a crate that served as a nightstand. A mattress lay on the floor in the other corner, a misshapen pillow and moth-eaten quilt flung carelessly across it. A few hooks decorated the walls along with holes and spots where plaster was missing and wood shown through looking like ribs. A few shirts and a cap or two were hung on the hooks. I saw Spot start to empty his trouser pants.
A handful of coins went into a jar, and a slingshot and a pair of brass knuckles went onto the crate. I noticed a switchblade sitting on the crate, and picked it up. Turning it over I saw the initials 'M.S.F.' carved into the handle. I jumped as Spot roughly took it away from me.
"Don't touch that," he hissed carefully setting it down. Taken aback, I tried to make my voice not sound hurt.
"Why the hell not?"
"That was Cards' blade. Nobody touches it." Cards, the newsie who had been murdered by my brothers. I didn't blame Spot then as I saw him tenderly pat the thing before starting to unbutton his shirt.
"Were you close?" Spot snorted and tossed me a thin smile as he drew the shirt over his head. He definitely wasn't as thin and scrawny as he had been five years ago. His shoulders had widened and he had an actual defined chest. Narrow muscles strained in his shoulders as he pulled an undershirt on.
"He was a kid, but he was a Brooklyn newsie. He was family. All the boys here are a family. Nobody came to his funeral but us kids when he was buried. And I made sure he was buried in a proper cemetery, not the poor people's one. His grave is marked." Spot's fists tightened before loosening again as he lit a cigarette. A cough rattled through his chest before he spat out the window.
"Spot?" the thin voice pierced the semi-darkness and Spot moved towards the cot.
"I'm here, kid." I saw a corner of Loon's mouth turn up crookedly before he settled back down into a restless sleep.
"I should go," I said feeling a wave of guilt hit me. Spot turned his face towards me, but I couldn't read his expression. Shrugging, he rose and took me into his arms.
"Could always stay here with me," Flushing I protested and managed to disentangle myself. Bad news if I spent the night here, I was fairly certain of it.
"Fine, Misery. Run away from me now, I'll let you go. But there may come a time when I won't let you get away so easily." I threw him a look that I hoped was mysterious.
"Catch me if you can, when I come your way*." He rose and started towards me, but I held up a hand in warning and shook my head.
I shuddered and backed out of the room, quickly going back the way we had come. Downstairs most of the Manhattan newsies were gathering and preparing for the walk back. I didn't see Meesh and Racetrack, and I was glad. Bourbon was busy kissing Riddle who had a firm hold on her waist. I saw Pistol standing behind them kissing the air in an exaggerated, mocking way. Blink, Mush, and Jack were all roaring with laughter. Bourbon finished with Riddle and swatted at Pistol who hid behind Blink.
"Don't think he'll save you, Pistol!" Bourbon shouted at the girl who only stuck her head around Blink and slowly stuck her tongue out crossing her eyes. Riddle neatly snagged Bourbon and pulled her back against him as she shrieked and lunged for the smaller girl. Pokey paused in her job of herding drunken Brooklyn newsies up the stairs to go to bed to give Jack a quick peck on the cheek. Jack winked at her and whispered something in her ear that made her cheeks turn pink. Casting one last look over her shoulder at him she helped a Brooklyn boy up the stairs.
"Where's Race?" I winced at Bumlets's question and hoped nobody had noticed.
"Misery do you have any idea?" I shook my head mutely.
"I think he and Meesh headed back to the lodging house early," was all I could manage to say. Jack gave me an odd look before shrugging and leading the way out the door. Silently I trudged along next to Pistol and Blink.
The streets were dark and not very well lit. I couldn't get rid of the worry about what I was going to do with Racetrack out of my head. As we crossed the Bridge, I stopped long enough to look out over the water and up at the stars. Pistol and Blink stopped with me, reluctant to let one of our group fall behind.
"It's so pretty here sometimes," I murmured. Pistol nodded in agreement while Blink lit a cigarette and shook his head at our feminine sentiments. I took a drag off of Blink's smoke when he offered it as did Pistol before he jerked his head towards Manhattan, a lock of his blonde hair falling into his one good eye.
"We should get headin' girls."
"I'm surprised Race isn't here and that he left early. He's been glued to your side the past few days." I stumbled and angrily swished my skirts wishing desperately for my ratty pair of trousers.
"Yeah well, you know boys. Their minds change rather quickly I'm afraid." Pistol snorted and looked at me sideways.
"As do girls minds I take it."
"So you saw me with Spot," I said flatly. She nodded and slung an arm around my shoulder.
"Look kid," I snorted briefly but listened.
"I like ya; I think you're a good person. I know that even though I haven't known you for that long, that you wouldn't do anything to hurt any of us. Especially those you're close to and I think you and Race are fairly close. I also think that Spot snared you the moment you two had your first run-in. He usually snares girls pretty quick, ain't that right Blink?" Blink puffed on his cigarette and nodded.
"I just hope that Spot's got it bad for ya and he ain't going to make you one of his one week broads." I raised an eyebrow and glanced at Pistol who was studying me with an intent, sage look in her young eyes.
"Trust me Pistol; I won't let myself be made into one of those. Once I get that hint, I'm gone." Pistol cast me a look as if to say that she agreed with me. I knew that I wasn't that stupid and I hoped that the others didn't think me as such. We strode on in the darkness the rest of the newsies ahead of us proclaimed by clouds of cigarette smoke and snatches of conversation.
When we reached the lodging house we found the door to be unlocked by a highly lenient Kloppman. Jack waved the lot of us upstairs and we stumbled up the stairway and in to our respective bunkrooms. The extra bunk that was normally empty was occupied by a snoring Meesh. I let out a brief sigh of relief that Racetrack was okay. Stripping myself of my clothes and hauling on my regular threads I made my way out into the hallway and through the boy's bunkroom. A few of the boys were still changing and they either protested my lack of decency or smirked at me as I made my way to the fire escape.
Striking a match I lit a smoke and inhaled deeply. Things were going way too fast for my liking. It was as if by meeting this group of newsboys and girls that my life was changing at the speed of lightning. I wasn't altogether sure how to take the whole thing. I knew that I cared about Racetrack, Spot, Pistol, Bourbon, and the whole lot. I also knew that were I to let slip my connections that it wouldn't matter if I was the President's daughter the whole crew would denounce me with such alacrity that my head would spin.
Exhaling a rather large cloud of cigarette smoke I mused thoughtfully about things. Tapping my fingers on the metal bar of the fire escape in front of me I hummed thoughtlessly. It wasn't until Bourbon was outside with me that I even realized her presence.
"'Ey, Misery how're you holding up?" Through the fumes of alcohol that clouded my brain I nodded at her. She nodded back and lit up her own cancer stick. Together we smoked companionably before she spoke.
"Spot has taken a real likin' to yah," was all she said. I almost choked on a cloud of nicotine as I eyed her reproachfully.
"So what, does that make me a horrible person because Racetrack wanted me first?" Bourbon eyed me without emotion.
"Don't get sassy with me kid; I don't care who likes ya and who doesn't. Racetrack would treat you better, that's all." I sighed deeply and neither of us said anything for a few moments. Bourbon flicked her cigarette over the railing and muttered something about getting up early. I finished my cigarette and flicked it away from me, watching it fall glowing to the sidewalk where it shattered into a pile of bright embers. Tomorrow was the day I set about trying to make things right.
A/N - That little sentence with the asterisk is from a song by The Adicts which I love desperately.
"I Am Yours"
Catch me if you can
When I come your way
Catch me if you can
I'm falling like the rain
Everyday I see you
But you're so far away
Every way I love you
Don't you know I love you so
I would never ever let you go
I am yours
Whenever you want me
I am yours whenever you need me
All I do is dream of you
All through the night
Will I ever hold you
Don't you know I love you so
I would never ever let you go
I might do some fiction based on a couple sappy punk songs but I'm undecided. Ok so that's it for that chapter. -A/N
My Dog Ate My Penname - Yes I know how dogs can be. Mine like to eat a lot and poop everywhere. I hope you update soon!! Don't worry Race won't be sad for long.
Netangel182 - Thank you so much! I honestly didn't know if I would be able to pull something like this off but my indecision with where the characters are going only seems to help add to it. Thank you!
Pokey7 - I knew you'd like the whole Jack flirting thing. ;D Yeah I know how Misery feels too and boy does it suck. Can't help but feel bad for making one person hurt when you choose the other. Ah well such is love.
Chelsea - AHAHA..Yeah Spot is a hot asshole, damn him. I'm not sure if he likes Misery because Race does or not. Race and Spot are friends unfortunately. Bro's before Ho's. Maybe she won't end up with either of 'em..There will definitely be some retribution for who Misery has history with.
Cabby1 - Hehe you just might have your wish. Unfortunately I'm wicked and I won't say anything else just yet.
Spots_girl_Sparks - Thanks for the review! I love it when new readers review.*dances* Anyway.I hope you keep reading.
Maybe I Don't Wanna Go - Hahaha, I know how you feel bout Spot I feel the same way. I'm trying to update as much as possible but I've been sick and not wanting to do anything except sleep. But here's an update for yah!
Chronicles Bailey - Ah thanks for clearing that up. I'll see what I can do to authenticate their way of speaking.
JustDuck - I'm just as torn as you are and that's horrible because I'm writing this damn story. Hehe blushing is good, that's quite a compliment. Sorry about the delay with this update but like I mentioned up there somewhere I've been sick. Thank you!!