Chapter 50- Tastes Like
Draco covered his ears to block out the infernal knocking, but it did not help. It echoed through the common room, even after the person outside had apparently finished. Sighing with determined annoyance, he got as close as he could to Hermione's room.
"Hermione!"
"What?!" She called from inside.
"Did you put a Sonorus Charm on the portrait hole?"
"Yes."
Of course she knew that he expected her to mention *why* she had done this, but no information was forthcoming from the unseen Hermione. Therefore, sighing with even more determined annoyance, Draco went to the entrance to their dorm to open it before the insanely loud request to enter was again utilized.
And of *course*, none other than Harry and Weasley stood there, and none other than those same Wonder Boys entered the common room when he stepped aside. Draco really kind of liked Harry now, he wasn't a bad sort, and while he didn't mind Weasley, he remembered what had happened the last time the red-haired boy had been in their dorm.
"Is Hermione here?"
"Yes," Draco said in a loud mutter. "She's in her room at the moment. She should be out soon."
"What's going on?"
"Nothing much, Potter. Just remembering my powerful Quidditch victory a few days ago…"
Harry's mouth quirked into a half-smile. It irked Draco that he was not at all bothered by losing, but Ron's reaction more than made up for it. Weasley was scowling quite enough for both of them, and then some.
"Oh Ron, get over it, mate. It was just one game. You'll have other games." Harry slipped an arm around his waist.
"But that was our last game at Hogwarts. I wanted to go out with a bang," he pouted.
Harry grinned seductively. "I think we can arrange that."
"Ugh," said Draco. "No semi-public displays of affection, *please*. Only in the privacy of your own common room. Or at least not until Hermione comes out, and I have something to distract me."
Hermione chose that moment to emerge. Ron and Harry turned to him with smiles on their faces and fluttered their eyelashes. He rolled his eyes and turned to his girlfriend, but she had other things on her mind.
"Okay, Quidditch season is over, so you have no excuse. Will you three *please* start revising for N.E.W.T.s?"
"I already have," Draco defended. "You know that, Hermione. I do not appreciate your accusations."
"Well, you haven't been doing very much, and I just want you three to get good grades… is that so wrong?"
"We're all incredibly touched by your concern." Harry put a hand to his heart dramatically. Ron snorted, and Draco put the back of his hand over his mouth to hide his smirk.
Hermione had a special glare reserved just for him. She used it right at that moment. "Fine. Fail then, I don't care. *I* will be revising. Over there." She stalked to the sofa, and flopped heavily onto it, dragging her notes into her lap. Judging by how much smaller this pile looked, it must be Ancient Runes. There were not as many facts that applied to runes, so there were not as many notes…
"I cannot believe I can tell what subject you're studying by the thickness of the notes," Draco said in her ear.
She twisted to smile at him. "That's only because you love me, sugar pants."
Two snorts sounded at this. He turned to see Harry and Ron looking conspicuously everywhere but at them. They were sitting across the table. His eyes narrowed, but then his expression turned suddenly mischievous.
"Of course I do, sweet cheeks." He gave her a suggestive wink and tapped the side of her bum lightly. Then he looked meaningfully over at the two who were pretending not to notice the behavior of the head boy and girl.
From her reaction the last time he had threatened to call her sweet cheeks, he would have expected her to be annoyed at him. Instead, she suddenly burst into giggles. This made Harry and Weasley eye them askance as Draco slid himself next to her, pulling his Charms notes closer to him.
Neither of them had brought their notes, so Harry borrowed Draco's Defense stack, and Ron took Hermione's incredible pile of Transfiguration notes. The four of them sat in silence for a while, the only sound an occasional shift in position or a turning page.
Without warning, another sound interrupted the perfect studying conditions. Someone shaking something in a box. A bunch of things, actually. Small, solid things. Draco glanced briefly up to catch Ron pouring out half a box of Every Flavor Beans on the table.
"Hmm…" sounded at the corner of his hearing. If hearing had corners at all. Well, if vision could have corners, so could hearing. All senses could have corners. Though smell was not a tangible thing, so it shouldn't be able to have corners…well, none of the senses were *actually* tangible in themselves…*What am I thinking about?*
Draco read on. 'The charm for making inanimate objects tap-dance is called "Clikius Neutros". It works best on objects that can easily form legs to tap on…'
"Hey, listen to this," Harry told them, intrigued.
"I think that one was ink flavored."
"Ron, shut up. 'One popular bit of Transfiguration is turning water into wine. Often it is done at large parties, to avoid the cost of buying so much wine. The first wizard credited with this spell is Jesus Christ.'"
"Yes, I found that interesting as well," Hermione commented, not looking up from her notes. "That's why I wrote it down, after all."
"Mmm, peppermint cake…"
"Ron, SHUT- wait, peppermint cake! Not fair! Why do you get the good ones? Whenever I try one it's always, like, liver, or onions with spinach." Harry had put the notes aside and joined Ron in sliding closer to the table.
"Ugh, can't you two eat quietly?" Draco's mouth twitched in amusement as Hermione's ire grew.
"Wow, treacle pudding! I was wrong, mate. I got the best one."
"Oh, that's just mean. That one tasted like dog hair." There was a sound of gagging and coughing, followed by Harry's voice.
"Here's a purple one…tastes like…" a pause, and Draco waited, pretending to be studying his notes. "Some purple thing," Harry decided finally.
"Some purple thing?" Draco exclaimed. "Please, even I could do better than that."
"Draco, will you be quiet please? Some of us are actually trying to study," Hermione said sternly.
"All right then, go ahead," challenged Harry.
"You're going down," Draco told him, quite matter-of-factly.
"Not if we can help it," Ron grinned. He looked somewhat malicious. *Still* sour about the Quidditch match, probably.
"Go on, then," Harry urged.
Draco picked up a bean, examined it in its strange gray color. He put it in his mouth and chewed, ignoring a remark of, "would never eat anything that color".
"Sarcasm."
"What?" Harry said.
"It tastes like sarcasm."
"You're making that up! Sarcasm doesn't *have* a taste," Weasley said skeptically.
"Nevertheless, that is the taste," Draco said, rather condescendingly. "Oh, come on, Weasley. Don't you think Draco Malfoy, of all people, would know what sarcasm tastes like?"
Ron regarded him for a moment. "All right, I'll give you that one. But if you don't start coming up with some real flavors soon, I'll *know* you're making it up."
"Here's one for you, Weasley. This one is watermelon."
Ron scowled. "Fine."
"Oo, apple crisp," Harry murmured. "With whipped cream."
"Ice cream cone," Ron said.
"What flavor?"
"How many flavors do cones have, Harry?"
"What, no ice cream in it?"
"Not unless it tastes the same as a cone."
Draco rolled his eyes, then put a dark green bean on his tongue. "Hmm. I think it's…plethinira moppli. Interesting."
"What's that?" Weasley asked.
"A type of plant." That was Hermione.
"If you're not actually studying, Hermione, why don't you join us?"
"Because, *Draco*, I am trying to study. If I go do whatever the blazes you're doing, I'll never get *anything* done." She turned back to her notes indignantly. Draco made interesting gestures to Harry, who started laughing.
"I can see you in the window, Draco."
"You're not even facing the window."
"The world works in mysterious ways, then."
"What the hell does that mean."
"Ugh! Oh, yuck, that's disgusting! Ugh, ugh, ugh!" Ron spit onto the table.
"Weasley, that's our table you're spitting onto!" Draco growled in protest.
"That one tasted like a flobberworm." Draco caught Harry's eye, and they both turned away to hide their laughter.
Hermione moved closer to him, daintily picking up one bean and placing it into her mouth. The innocent smile she wore previously changed to a look of wonder. She turned to face Draco.
"Draco," she said with breathy drama. "It tastes like you."
Draco stopped in mid-chew. He glanced at Harry and Ron, who were also looking at her with very odd expressions. Hermione looked around at the three of them, and burst out laughing. The rest of them soon followed. They laughed forever.
"I'm just kidding," Hermione gasped, wiping tears from her cheeks.
"What did it really taste like?" Harry asked.
Hermione grew serious. "It actually tasted a lot like grease."
"Any specific grease?" Draco prompted, sensing where she was going with this.
"Yes," She said, still quite somber. "The grease from Snape's hair."
They all began laughing again. From that moment, they never actually told the real flavors. Draco tasted butter, strawberry, chocolate mousse, and French bread. What he said aloud were the flavors of aluminum foil, Every Flavor Beans, deodorant soap, and Quidditch.
"Quidditch?" Harry perked up. "What does Quidditch taste like?"
"This bean, apparently."
"That's nothing, Malfoy," Weasley said, laughing slightly. "This one tastes like *winning* at Quidditch!"
Draco was tempted to make a rude comment (it would have been so easy), but he didn't. He instead grinned and told them that his next bean tasted of midnight rain. Harry told him he sounded like a girl.
They never actually got back to studying.
End Chapter 50
I needed a very light subject, and a chapter semi-devoted to N.E.W.T.s. I was going to put in a chapter in which they actually *take* the tests, but then I didn't want to bother, so I just added a bit of revision. Savvy? And some comedy was needed.
The next chapter has some more serious stuff in it, and the chapter after *that*…well, I don't want to go giving the story away, do I?
Responding to a comment, I realize it would have been more "Draco emerges victorious from the field of battle" (PLUG ::Trick Stair by Lyra Silvertongue2:: PLUG) if he had spotted the Snitch himself. I really wanted the Snitch to be under him so he could do an impressive flip in the air, and if you think about it, that would be difficult to see. It is, may I point out, *directly* under him. He won, what more do you want?
Review for Sarcasm confetti. It's gray and sarcastic. You know you want some.
Draco covered his ears to block out the infernal knocking, but it did not help. It echoed through the common room, even after the person outside had apparently finished. Sighing with determined annoyance, he got as close as he could to Hermione's room.
"Hermione!"
"What?!" She called from inside.
"Did you put a Sonorus Charm on the portrait hole?"
"Yes."
Of course she knew that he expected her to mention *why* she had done this, but no information was forthcoming from the unseen Hermione. Therefore, sighing with even more determined annoyance, Draco went to the entrance to their dorm to open it before the insanely loud request to enter was again utilized.
And of *course*, none other than Harry and Weasley stood there, and none other than those same Wonder Boys entered the common room when he stepped aside. Draco really kind of liked Harry now, he wasn't a bad sort, and while he didn't mind Weasley, he remembered what had happened the last time the red-haired boy had been in their dorm.
"Is Hermione here?"
"Yes," Draco said in a loud mutter. "She's in her room at the moment. She should be out soon."
"What's going on?"
"Nothing much, Potter. Just remembering my powerful Quidditch victory a few days ago…"
Harry's mouth quirked into a half-smile. It irked Draco that he was not at all bothered by losing, but Ron's reaction more than made up for it. Weasley was scowling quite enough for both of them, and then some.
"Oh Ron, get over it, mate. It was just one game. You'll have other games." Harry slipped an arm around his waist.
"But that was our last game at Hogwarts. I wanted to go out with a bang," he pouted.
Harry grinned seductively. "I think we can arrange that."
"Ugh," said Draco. "No semi-public displays of affection, *please*. Only in the privacy of your own common room. Or at least not until Hermione comes out, and I have something to distract me."
Hermione chose that moment to emerge. Ron and Harry turned to him with smiles on their faces and fluttered their eyelashes. He rolled his eyes and turned to his girlfriend, but she had other things on her mind.
"Okay, Quidditch season is over, so you have no excuse. Will you three *please* start revising for N.E.W.T.s?"
"I already have," Draco defended. "You know that, Hermione. I do not appreciate your accusations."
"Well, you haven't been doing very much, and I just want you three to get good grades… is that so wrong?"
"We're all incredibly touched by your concern." Harry put a hand to his heart dramatically. Ron snorted, and Draco put the back of his hand over his mouth to hide his smirk.
Hermione had a special glare reserved just for him. She used it right at that moment. "Fine. Fail then, I don't care. *I* will be revising. Over there." She stalked to the sofa, and flopped heavily onto it, dragging her notes into her lap. Judging by how much smaller this pile looked, it must be Ancient Runes. There were not as many facts that applied to runes, so there were not as many notes…
"I cannot believe I can tell what subject you're studying by the thickness of the notes," Draco said in her ear.
She twisted to smile at him. "That's only because you love me, sugar pants."
Two snorts sounded at this. He turned to see Harry and Ron looking conspicuously everywhere but at them. They were sitting across the table. His eyes narrowed, but then his expression turned suddenly mischievous.
"Of course I do, sweet cheeks." He gave her a suggestive wink and tapped the side of her bum lightly. Then he looked meaningfully over at the two who were pretending not to notice the behavior of the head boy and girl.
From her reaction the last time he had threatened to call her sweet cheeks, he would have expected her to be annoyed at him. Instead, she suddenly burst into giggles. This made Harry and Weasley eye them askance as Draco slid himself next to her, pulling his Charms notes closer to him.
Neither of them had brought their notes, so Harry borrowed Draco's Defense stack, and Ron took Hermione's incredible pile of Transfiguration notes. The four of them sat in silence for a while, the only sound an occasional shift in position or a turning page.
Without warning, another sound interrupted the perfect studying conditions. Someone shaking something in a box. A bunch of things, actually. Small, solid things. Draco glanced briefly up to catch Ron pouring out half a box of Every Flavor Beans on the table.
"Hmm…" sounded at the corner of his hearing. If hearing had corners at all. Well, if vision could have corners, so could hearing. All senses could have corners. Though smell was not a tangible thing, so it shouldn't be able to have corners…well, none of the senses were *actually* tangible in themselves…*What am I thinking about?*
Draco read on. 'The charm for making inanimate objects tap-dance is called "Clikius Neutros". It works best on objects that can easily form legs to tap on…'
"Hey, listen to this," Harry told them, intrigued.
"I think that one was ink flavored."
"Ron, shut up. 'One popular bit of Transfiguration is turning water into wine. Often it is done at large parties, to avoid the cost of buying so much wine. The first wizard credited with this spell is Jesus Christ.'"
"Yes, I found that interesting as well," Hermione commented, not looking up from her notes. "That's why I wrote it down, after all."
"Mmm, peppermint cake…"
"Ron, SHUT- wait, peppermint cake! Not fair! Why do you get the good ones? Whenever I try one it's always, like, liver, or onions with spinach." Harry had put the notes aside and joined Ron in sliding closer to the table.
"Ugh, can't you two eat quietly?" Draco's mouth twitched in amusement as Hermione's ire grew.
"Wow, treacle pudding! I was wrong, mate. I got the best one."
"Oh, that's just mean. That one tasted like dog hair." There was a sound of gagging and coughing, followed by Harry's voice.
"Here's a purple one…tastes like…" a pause, and Draco waited, pretending to be studying his notes. "Some purple thing," Harry decided finally.
"Some purple thing?" Draco exclaimed. "Please, even I could do better than that."
"Draco, will you be quiet please? Some of us are actually trying to study," Hermione said sternly.
"All right then, go ahead," challenged Harry.
"You're going down," Draco told him, quite matter-of-factly.
"Not if we can help it," Ron grinned. He looked somewhat malicious. *Still* sour about the Quidditch match, probably.
"Go on, then," Harry urged.
Draco picked up a bean, examined it in its strange gray color. He put it in his mouth and chewed, ignoring a remark of, "would never eat anything that color".
"Sarcasm."
"What?" Harry said.
"It tastes like sarcasm."
"You're making that up! Sarcasm doesn't *have* a taste," Weasley said skeptically.
"Nevertheless, that is the taste," Draco said, rather condescendingly. "Oh, come on, Weasley. Don't you think Draco Malfoy, of all people, would know what sarcasm tastes like?"
Ron regarded him for a moment. "All right, I'll give you that one. But if you don't start coming up with some real flavors soon, I'll *know* you're making it up."
"Here's one for you, Weasley. This one is watermelon."
Ron scowled. "Fine."
"Oo, apple crisp," Harry murmured. "With whipped cream."
"Ice cream cone," Ron said.
"What flavor?"
"How many flavors do cones have, Harry?"
"What, no ice cream in it?"
"Not unless it tastes the same as a cone."
Draco rolled his eyes, then put a dark green bean on his tongue. "Hmm. I think it's…plethinira moppli. Interesting."
"What's that?" Weasley asked.
"A type of plant." That was Hermione.
"If you're not actually studying, Hermione, why don't you join us?"
"Because, *Draco*, I am trying to study. If I go do whatever the blazes you're doing, I'll never get *anything* done." She turned back to her notes indignantly. Draco made interesting gestures to Harry, who started laughing.
"I can see you in the window, Draco."
"You're not even facing the window."
"The world works in mysterious ways, then."
"What the hell does that mean."
"Ugh! Oh, yuck, that's disgusting! Ugh, ugh, ugh!" Ron spit onto the table.
"Weasley, that's our table you're spitting onto!" Draco growled in protest.
"That one tasted like a flobberworm." Draco caught Harry's eye, and they both turned away to hide their laughter.
Hermione moved closer to him, daintily picking up one bean and placing it into her mouth. The innocent smile she wore previously changed to a look of wonder. She turned to face Draco.
"Draco," she said with breathy drama. "It tastes like you."
Draco stopped in mid-chew. He glanced at Harry and Ron, who were also looking at her with very odd expressions. Hermione looked around at the three of them, and burst out laughing. The rest of them soon followed. They laughed forever.
"I'm just kidding," Hermione gasped, wiping tears from her cheeks.
"What did it really taste like?" Harry asked.
Hermione grew serious. "It actually tasted a lot like grease."
"Any specific grease?" Draco prompted, sensing where she was going with this.
"Yes," She said, still quite somber. "The grease from Snape's hair."
They all began laughing again. From that moment, they never actually told the real flavors. Draco tasted butter, strawberry, chocolate mousse, and French bread. What he said aloud were the flavors of aluminum foil, Every Flavor Beans, deodorant soap, and Quidditch.
"Quidditch?" Harry perked up. "What does Quidditch taste like?"
"This bean, apparently."
"That's nothing, Malfoy," Weasley said, laughing slightly. "This one tastes like *winning* at Quidditch!"
Draco was tempted to make a rude comment (it would have been so easy), but he didn't. He instead grinned and told them that his next bean tasted of midnight rain. Harry told him he sounded like a girl.
They never actually got back to studying.
End Chapter 50
I needed a very light subject, and a chapter semi-devoted to N.E.W.T.s. I was going to put in a chapter in which they actually *take* the tests, but then I didn't want to bother, so I just added a bit of revision. Savvy? And some comedy was needed.
The next chapter has some more serious stuff in it, and the chapter after *that*…well, I don't want to go giving the story away, do I?
Responding to a comment, I realize it would have been more "Draco emerges victorious from the field of battle" (PLUG ::Trick Stair by Lyra Silvertongue2:: PLUG) if he had spotted the Snitch himself. I really wanted the Snitch to be under him so he could do an impressive flip in the air, and if you think about it, that would be difficult to see. It is, may I point out, *directly* under him. He won, what more do you want?
Review for Sarcasm confetti. It's gray and sarcastic. You know you want some.