"Counted Sweetest"
by Acey
Disclaimer: If I owned Yu Yu Hakusho, don't you think that the plow would've suffered greatly?
Happy birthday, Kuwa-chan! Have a great one! =) This is your present from me. I hope you enjoy it, and get lots more from everyone else! You deserve it.
"'Thy heart is good . . . . and I pray it have not the fate of most good hearts-- to be trampled upon by the unmerciful and the blind.'" -"Ben-Hur," Simonides (to Esther)
It was nine post meridian on a Saturday, and the same few thoughts were running through Kazuma Kuwabara's head. It was dark that night, and the stars barely shone through the clouds. The moon was going to disappear in a few days, he knew, though for now it was still visible, waning, half-gone.
He lay on his bed, still fully awake. Kuwabara did not often go to sleep immediately after sundown, and tonight insomnia threatened to hold him in its clutches, prepared to snatch him out of dreamworld should he even get there in the first place. He wouldn't mind that, not tonight. He could not sleep this night anyway and feel comfortable within himself, not until he decided on what to do.
Kuwabara did not know anything of demon customs, did not even know very much about demons. He had no idea if and how they showed affection to each other after a certain period. That sort of thing wouldn't have mattered to him, Kuwabara, the fighter with a code of honor and a gentle, gallant nature, Kuwabara who stumbled even as he got up. He wouldn't have cared if they hung themselves if they showed that they were fond of someone six months ago.
But now it was a different ballpark. Six months ago he had had no idea about the spirit world, the complex order and chaos of it, the manner in which his old rival, Urameshi, was brought back to life. Six months ago he was intent on defeating him, besting him merely for the sake of besting him, to prove, perhaps, that his brand of chivalry could overcome Urameshi's lack of it, not taking into account that Urameshi's fists were stronger and more forceful when they hit his face, or that the world rarely looks on moral attributes when deciding who will lose and who will win in life.
Even that rivalry had faded from the fierceness it had been over the past months. They were friends now, good friends, and now he did not feel so antagonized by the black-haired fighter. And, maybe, Urameshi was not so easily irked at him.
His thoughts had turned to his rival first, because it had been through him that he had found her, the delicate, wan girl with the bluish-green hair, the one thing he thought he could count on in his life, the one he hoped for the longest time loved him.
How sweet had been the realization that his feelings for her were returned. How wonderful was the knowledge that the closest person to an angel he knew of loved him, cared for him, blushed instead of rolling her eyes at his declarations of chivalry, did not mind when he blundered. She was pure, kind, much more so than anyone else Kuwabara had ever met in either the spirit or the human world.
He would have been happy even if she had not returned his affections if he could only have the chance to see her, see her often (but not in the arms of another male-- never!), hear her say something kind about him. His current situation with her was better than he had ever dreamed. It had not ended up like the fairy tales did, with the lovely princess choosing the strongest, most handsome nobleman as her own, leaving the lesser admirers miserable. Kuwabara had counted himself among the lesser admirers for a long time, never daring to believe that she saw something in him unlike anyone else-- that she would rather have him as her love.
Now it had been weeks, months, and there had been no spats or rages at each other, nothing at all to break them apart, not even for a short time. The one he counted sweetest still remained with him, and him alone. Now was the time for him to do something, some reminder forever that he cared, more tangible than words.
He wanted to get her something, buy her something, but had no idea what would do more than satisfy her, what would make her bright eyes and face light up with unadulterated happiness, what would make her cry in joy, "Oh, Kazuma!" and let him know that he had given her bliss. Her delight in what he gave her would be his affirmation, his reassurance that she loved him.
The problem at this moment was a common one, regardless if the girl is a demon or a human. Kuwabara did not know what she would enjoy most that he could give her. Money issues forbade anything expensive, paid outright, despite the fact that he felt any amount of money worth seeing her happy. He had thought of buying her a silver necklace or ring and working at the grocery to pay it off, but when he had gone to the jewelry store beforehand and picked the perfect one out the day before, a calculator coldly informed him that it would take six months at least of bagging groceries part-time to pay for it. He recalled the necklace regretfully. It had been such a pretty thing, with a ruby hanging from the silver chan, small diamonds on either side, just perfect for Yukina. Kuwabara winced, remembering the cruel tone in which the jeweler had told him the price, as if hidden between the syllables were the words, "You can't afford it, punk, so why bother?"
And he had been right, unfortunately enough. So on Kuwabara went in his thoughts, contemplative, deciding, as the alarm clock on his bedstead read ten post meridian. He remembered now with a woeful feeling how they had made her cry just for her tear gems. It would go too close to home, anyway/
Jewelry had been out from the beginning; he had known that. Few were Kuwabara's options, as each became worse and inferior to the one preceding it, even in his mind. A new kimono? Yet what did he know about clothing she would appreciate? He would most likely wind up choosing the one Yukina would least like, even if she did feign contentment in it. Ribbons, to tie her hair up? Lamer, a present that did not befit her at all.
An animal, perhaps, a sweet, trusting little dog, that would follow her around obediently. Yes, it would be something she could take care of, with her innocent ways, something that reciporated every bit of attention she would give it. A dog. He considered it seriously, debating over it, and smiled for a second.
The smile was cut short almost as soon as it played on his face. An appalling thought had come to mind, one that changed his mood immediately.
What if someone came, came to take the animal away from her, just to see her broken and crying? Just to steal away her tears as they were doing when he first saw her, those horrible ingrates that should never have drawn breath at all for doing such a thing to her. It was true that those people were gone now, but there was always the possibility, the sickening possibility that someone else might want her tears, might . . .
Kuwabara tried to push the thought away, keep it from putting brutal images in his mind's eye. It failed, as usual when one is thinking of things detestable that no man that could truly call himself a man could inflict on his fellows. For there was so much cruelty in the world, and both Yukina and Kuwabara knew it. He could not shield her from it.
The idea of a pet banished forever, Kuwabara sighed, unhappy for her sake. He should have given her something before this. Heaven knew that the other boys at school paraded with their girlfriends, who wore their class rings on chains and pins on their blouses. Oh, he had seen them every holiday before class, exchanging gifts and kisses. Surely he could have taken a pointer from any one of them on what to give Yukina, simply on virtue of seeing them give presents so often. But he had not. The only thing that he remembered seeing girls get at school from their admirers was jewelry and small stuffed animals, and he already had exhausted both of those possibilities.
There was nothing, then, nothing that he could give her. Kuwabara sighed heavily before going into a slow, restless sleep.
***********************************************************************
He met up with them the next day, Urameshi and Kurama and the rest, including Yukina. He did not offer any valiant remarks on Yukina's behalf that day, no sweet phrases, not even offering to hold her hand, that delicate little hand which he loved so well, even as the walked away from the rest of the group. Yukina was surprised at this but let it pass, supposing that perhaps he was upset about something. She turned to him, a look of worry on her face as she asked him if anything was wrong. He shook his head sadly at this, and she responded.
"Kazuma, there's something wrong, or you wouldn't act like this." An awful thought had struck her. "Has someone in your family--"
"No. No one's died."
"Then what's wrong?"
Such a soft voice Yukina had, made softer when compared to his own. Such a thing only proved further his inferiority.
He did not speak for a long time.
"Well, Yukina . . . I wanted to get you something. I don't know if demons do that when they like each other, but humans do, so--" He struggled for the correct words. "But I couldn't find anything that'd be right for you. I'm sorry, Yukina." Kuwabara hung his head.
Yukina was overcome.
"Kazuma . . . you would do that for me?"
He nodded, abashed.
"Kazuma! That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. You didn't have to get me anything. You're already more than I--"
Yukina squeaked suddenly, realizing that one or more of the others, probably Botan or the other girls, was eavesdropping from the soft mutters and a quiet "aw!"
She let them and hugged him tightly, Kazuma Kuwabara, who at that moment felt the most fortunate man on earth.
finis
by Acey
Disclaimer: If I owned Yu Yu Hakusho, don't you think that the plow would've suffered greatly?
Happy birthday, Kuwa-chan! Have a great one! =) This is your present from me. I hope you enjoy it, and get lots more from everyone else! You deserve it.
"'Thy heart is good . . . . and I pray it have not the fate of most good hearts-- to be trampled upon by the unmerciful and the blind.'" -"Ben-Hur," Simonides (to Esther)
It was nine post meridian on a Saturday, and the same few thoughts were running through Kazuma Kuwabara's head. It was dark that night, and the stars barely shone through the clouds. The moon was going to disappear in a few days, he knew, though for now it was still visible, waning, half-gone.
He lay on his bed, still fully awake. Kuwabara did not often go to sleep immediately after sundown, and tonight insomnia threatened to hold him in its clutches, prepared to snatch him out of dreamworld should he even get there in the first place. He wouldn't mind that, not tonight. He could not sleep this night anyway and feel comfortable within himself, not until he decided on what to do.
Kuwabara did not know anything of demon customs, did not even know very much about demons. He had no idea if and how they showed affection to each other after a certain period. That sort of thing wouldn't have mattered to him, Kuwabara, the fighter with a code of honor and a gentle, gallant nature, Kuwabara who stumbled even as he got up. He wouldn't have cared if they hung themselves if they showed that they were fond of someone six months ago.
But now it was a different ballpark. Six months ago he had had no idea about the spirit world, the complex order and chaos of it, the manner in which his old rival, Urameshi, was brought back to life. Six months ago he was intent on defeating him, besting him merely for the sake of besting him, to prove, perhaps, that his brand of chivalry could overcome Urameshi's lack of it, not taking into account that Urameshi's fists were stronger and more forceful when they hit his face, or that the world rarely looks on moral attributes when deciding who will lose and who will win in life.
Even that rivalry had faded from the fierceness it had been over the past months. They were friends now, good friends, and now he did not feel so antagonized by the black-haired fighter. And, maybe, Urameshi was not so easily irked at him.
His thoughts had turned to his rival first, because it had been through him that he had found her, the delicate, wan girl with the bluish-green hair, the one thing he thought he could count on in his life, the one he hoped for the longest time loved him.
How sweet had been the realization that his feelings for her were returned. How wonderful was the knowledge that the closest person to an angel he knew of loved him, cared for him, blushed instead of rolling her eyes at his declarations of chivalry, did not mind when he blundered. She was pure, kind, much more so than anyone else Kuwabara had ever met in either the spirit or the human world.
He would have been happy even if she had not returned his affections if he could only have the chance to see her, see her often (but not in the arms of another male-- never!), hear her say something kind about him. His current situation with her was better than he had ever dreamed. It had not ended up like the fairy tales did, with the lovely princess choosing the strongest, most handsome nobleman as her own, leaving the lesser admirers miserable. Kuwabara had counted himself among the lesser admirers for a long time, never daring to believe that she saw something in him unlike anyone else-- that she would rather have him as her love.
Now it had been weeks, months, and there had been no spats or rages at each other, nothing at all to break them apart, not even for a short time. The one he counted sweetest still remained with him, and him alone. Now was the time for him to do something, some reminder forever that he cared, more tangible than words.
He wanted to get her something, buy her something, but had no idea what would do more than satisfy her, what would make her bright eyes and face light up with unadulterated happiness, what would make her cry in joy, "Oh, Kazuma!" and let him know that he had given her bliss. Her delight in what he gave her would be his affirmation, his reassurance that she loved him.
The problem at this moment was a common one, regardless if the girl is a demon or a human. Kuwabara did not know what she would enjoy most that he could give her. Money issues forbade anything expensive, paid outright, despite the fact that he felt any amount of money worth seeing her happy. He had thought of buying her a silver necklace or ring and working at the grocery to pay it off, but when he had gone to the jewelry store beforehand and picked the perfect one out the day before, a calculator coldly informed him that it would take six months at least of bagging groceries part-time to pay for it. He recalled the necklace regretfully. It had been such a pretty thing, with a ruby hanging from the silver chan, small diamonds on either side, just perfect for Yukina. Kuwabara winced, remembering the cruel tone in which the jeweler had told him the price, as if hidden between the syllables were the words, "You can't afford it, punk, so why bother?"
And he had been right, unfortunately enough. So on Kuwabara went in his thoughts, contemplative, deciding, as the alarm clock on his bedstead read ten post meridian. He remembered now with a woeful feeling how they had made her cry just for her tear gems. It would go too close to home, anyway/
Jewelry had been out from the beginning; he had known that. Few were Kuwabara's options, as each became worse and inferior to the one preceding it, even in his mind. A new kimono? Yet what did he know about clothing she would appreciate? He would most likely wind up choosing the one Yukina would least like, even if she did feign contentment in it. Ribbons, to tie her hair up? Lamer, a present that did not befit her at all.
An animal, perhaps, a sweet, trusting little dog, that would follow her around obediently. Yes, it would be something she could take care of, with her innocent ways, something that reciporated every bit of attention she would give it. A dog. He considered it seriously, debating over it, and smiled for a second.
The smile was cut short almost as soon as it played on his face. An appalling thought had come to mind, one that changed his mood immediately.
What if someone came, came to take the animal away from her, just to see her broken and crying? Just to steal away her tears as they were doing when he first saw her, those horrible ingrates that should never have drawn breath at all for doing such a thing to her. It was true that those people were gone now, but there was always the possibility, the sickening possibility that someone else might want her tears, might . . .
Kuwabara tried to push the thought away, keep it from putting brutal images in his mind's eye. It failed, as usual when one is thinking of things detestable that no man that could truly call himself a man could inflict on his fellows. For there was so much cruelty in the world, and both Yukina and Kuwabara knew it. He could not shield her from it.
The idea of a pet banished forever, Kuwabara sighed, unhappy for her sake. He should have given her something before this. Heaven knew that the other boys at school paraded with their girlfriends, who wore their class rings on chains and pins on their blouses. Oh, he had seen them every holiday before class, exchanging gifts and kisses. Surely he could have taken a pointer from any one of them on what to give Yukina, simply on virtue of seeing them give presents so often. But he had not. The only thing that he remembered seeing girls get at school from their admirers was jewelry and small stuffed animals, and he already had exhausted both of those possibilities.
There was nothing, then, nothing that he could give her. Kuwabara sighed heavily before going into a slow, restless sleep.
***********************************************************************
He met up with them the next day, Urameshi and Kurama and the rest, including Yukina. He did not offer any valiant remarks on Yukina's behalf that day, no sweet phrases, not even offering to hold her hand, that delicate little hand which he loved so well, even as the walked away from the rest of the group. Yukina was surprised at this but let it pass, supposing that perhaps he was upset about something. She turned to him, a look of worry on her face as she asked him if anything was wrong. He shook his head sadly at this, and she responded.
"Kazuma, there's something wrong, or you wouldn't act like this." An awful thought had struck her. "Has someone in your family--"
"No. No one's died."
"Then what's wrong?"
Such a soft voice Yukina had, made softer when compared to his own. Such a thing only proved further his inferiority.
He did not speak for a long time.
"Well, Yukina . . . I wanted to get you something. I don't know if demons do that when they like each other, but humans do, so--" He struggled for the correct words. "But I couldn't find anything that'd be right for you. I'm sorry, Yukina." Kuwabara hung his head.
Yukina was overcome.
"Kazuma . . . you would do that for me?"
He nodded, abashed.
"Kazuma! That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. You didn't have to get me anything. You're already more than I--"
Yukina squeaked suddenly, realizing that one or more of the others, probably Botan or the other girls, was eavesdropping from the soft mutters and a quiet "aw!"
She let them and hugged him tightly, Kazuma Kuwabara, who at that moment felt the most fortunate man on earth.
finis