TALK TO STRANGERS

By Zed-sama

Disclaimer: see chapter 1. Everything still applies, including that bit about putting Mariah in a high speed blender.

All the pronouns Rei uses in this chapter are intentional.

Trust me, I have checked, re-checked, double checked and triple checked it.

Chapter 2: Heart to Frozen Heart

It's not hard to play the fool

When your heart is broken

"I am very sorry for the embarrassment and trouble I have caused. My actions and behaviour were shameful and reprehensible to the highest degree. Although I cannot offer suitable atonement for my misdeeds, I humbly beg you to accept my most sincere apologies. " I pressed my forehead to the floor in my very lowest bow. There was a long, unbearable silence. I felt the sweat trickle down my spine, the musky scent of the tatami mats strong in my nostrils as I waited for a response.

After my little escapade, I had been made to dress, my hair in a loose plait, and firmly escorted to the manager's office where I had been threatened with expulsion from the ryokan. Thankfully, Mr Dickinson had spoken on my behalf and promised that I would cause no more trouble, that I had never been so in the past. Therefore, I had been severely reprimanded, banned from further bathing in the onsen and made to apologise to the young ladies that I had 'peeked at'.

Kai was strangely absent from this apology, having disappeared when security arrived and pulled me down from the fence. Nobody had even suggested that I be allowed to tell my side of the story, for which I was vaguely grateful. I was so dazed by the whole affair that I don't think I could have come up with a plausible story.

Just when I felt that my lower back would seize up if I didn't move soon, one of the ladies said, in a tone very much like Kai's, " Although we find you contemptible, we are bound to accept your apology, " The manager curtly bid me to rise. I did so formally, keeping my eyes downcast as I bowed my way from the office. 

" Gee, Rei. I never figured you were the kind to go perving on chicks, dude! "

" Shut up, Takao, " I snarled, baring my fangs at him. I was embarrassed and humiliated by what I had done, but I was even more confused by what I had seen. My brain could just not reconcile what my eyes had told it. Kai, a girl? It was impossible! He'd been our team captain for over two years now! A professional beyblader nearly all his life! How could he have deceived the world for so long? How could he have deceived us, his team, for so long? Surely we would have noticed something! I frantically searched my memory as I hurried back to my room with Takao, Max, the Chief and Mr Dickinson in tow.

But the only thing I could think of was the image of Kai in the spring as he – she – and I stared at each other.

With shaking hands I opened the door, and was frightened out of my wits by the figure who was sitting on the window ledge, one knee crossed over the other and arms folded, the crimson eyes narrowed dangerously.

" Hey Kai! " said Takao brightly, " D'ya hear what Rei – "

" Yes I heard, " cut in Kai sharply. " And I think now would be a good time for you to leave. "

Takao began to whine in protest, but Mr Dickinson backed Kai up by saying that there was no need to discuss the matter further, and that it was past our bedtimes anyway. So Takao and the others reluctantly left, leaving me and Mr Dickinson alone with Kai.

Mr Dickinson cleared his throat, which was a sure sign that he had something important to say. " Rei, I am very disappointed in you. You've always been such a nice, polite boy. What on earth possessed you to . . . peep at those girls? "

I stared helplessly at my feet. What could I say? ' I saw Kai in the girls' baths. Did you know Kai is a girl, Mr Dickinson? ' Yeah, that would go down REAL well.

Amazingly, Kai came to my rescue. " I think it would be best if I took care of this, Mr Dickinson. "

Mr Dickinson considered. " Perhaps you are right, Kai. You are responsible for the conduct of your team, after all. "   

 I'm not sure if it was meant to be a veiled threat or not, but Kai never once lost his composure. He met Dickinson's gaze with an even glare of his own until the elderly man nodded his assent. " Very well. I trust you will have this matter sorted out by the morning. "

So saying, he left me alone to face the wrath of my captain.

For a good while, we simply stared at each other. Or rather, Kai glared at me while I looked anywhere but directly at him. I tried to form a rational line of questions, or explanations, or even thoughts. My eyes kept stealing back to the defiant figure at the window. I noticed for the first time the feminine roundness of Kai's chest under his – her yukata, the figure that was slightly too curved to be a boy's. It was so obvious now, I wondered how I had ever missed it!

When I dared a glance at his face, I saw nothing but cold fury. I averted my gaze quickly. I'd never seen anyone who could face that glare for very long, and I was certainly not one of them.

At last Kai seemed to sigh. " Lock the door, Rei. "

Numbly I did so, never taking my eyes of him – her – as he ran one hand through the iron grey fringe and unfolded his legs. Something about him changed, became softer somehow, although he was no less intimidating.

" Rei, do you know what you've done? "

" What I've done? " I repeated, amazed and incredulous. He made it sound as if it were all my fault! " What do you mean, what I've done?! What about you Kai? What have you done? "

" Don't yell, Rei. These walls aren't made of stone. "

" How can you blame this on me? YOU'RE the one who's been lying to us all this time! "

" For your information, " Kai said with absolute venom in his – her voice, " I never claimed to be a man. I may look and act like one, but I have never EVER said that I was. You just assumed. "

I shut my eyes tightly and rubbed my face in my hands. This was a nightmare.

" How could you do it Kai? How could – "

" Do you think I like it? " he – she hissed, " Do you think I like being a gender outcast? Knowing that I am a woman and yet not being able to talk to other women because I don't know how? Knowing that although I think and act like a boy, I will never truly be one? Do you think I like having to watch myself every god damn minute of the day to make sure I'm walking boy and talking boy? Do you know how painful it is to have to strap my chest down everyday so that no-one will notice? God Rei, why do you think I never let people near me? "

" But why? Why go through all the trouble of pretending? You could still be a beyblader! "

" You don't get it, do you? " Kai sneered, " Where I grew up Rei, we didn't have 'equal rights'. Women always have and always will be treated as inferior beings. My mother died giving birth to me because my father said she wasn't worth calling a doctor for. "

" But the whole world doesn't think that way! Kai, I don't understand why you kept this from us! We're your team! We're your friends! And friends TRUST one another! "

" Be realistic, Rei, " Kai snapped, rising to her feet and taking a step closer to me. " Trust is an illusion. Friendship is merely a convenient alliance between those who are too weak to stand alone. "

I was shocked and appalled. " How can you say that, Kai? " I whispered, " After all we've been done together? After everything we've been through? "

My mind flashed back to Lake Bykal, when we'd almost lost Kai to the lake's frozen depths. I felt the same fear I'd felt when he began to sink, when I'd thought for a moment that we weren't strong enough to pull him out. It was an awful, awful feeling in my heart that made me go numb with terror. I felt like I was losing Kai all over again. Tears stung my eyes, but I fiercely brushed them aside, determined not to cry in his – her presence.

" Do you know Rei, " said my Russian beauty suddenly, sounding almost thoughtful, " Only one other person besides you knows the true me? "

" Really? " I said automatically, " How did that happen? "

Kai smiled bitterly. " Just before I left the abbey, my room mate thought it would be a joke to steal my clothes from the shower room. "

" And what happened? "

" I beat him, " said Kai dispassionately. " I beat him till he begged for mercy, then made him swear that he would never tell anyone. And to my knowledge, he never has. " Those crimson eyes fixed themselves on me broodingly. " I wonder, shall I have to beat you as I beat him? "

I could scarcely believe what I was hearing. Kai was threatening me! I was frightened and mournful that she should distrust me so much, when I had thought we understood each other.

I went down on my knees, causing Kai's eyes to widen in surprise. " If it would ease your mind, " I said hoarsely, " You may beat me as you wish. But I would never, ever betray your secret, Kai. " And I bowed my head, expecting to be struck.

When no blow fell, I dared to lift my eyes so that I could see her. Kai stood less than three feet away, her fists clenched at her side and a fearsome expression on her face. I hastily dropped my gaze.

" Don't be asinine, Kon. " came her voice at last. I heard her yukata rustle as she turned away from me. " I'm not going to hurt you. "

I realised I'd been holding my breath and let it out in a relieved whoosh, then looked up. Kai reseated herself on the window sil, one knee against her chest as she looked out at the star-filled sky, her profile lit by the half moon. " I don't want to lose you. "

" What? "

" I don't want to lose you, " she repeated softly, still refusing to look at me. " The day Tala found out what I really was, our friendship was destroyed. " Kai looked deeply saddened, " I thought that maybe, when I went back to the Demolition Boys, we could have been friends again. But he – we had had changed too much, and he still looked at me with a kind of betrayed hatred. I don't want you to look at me that way. I don't want to see your eyes clouded with loathing.  "

My heart nearly broke at the grief in her tone. I could not imagine how much it had hurt her to lose one of the only friends she had ever had. No wonder she held such cynical views about friendship!

" Kai, " I whispered, taking a step toward her. She turned her face to me, one half bathed in moonlight and the other hidden by shadow. Light and dark, just like Kai herself. An innocent yet tortured soul. My entire being ached with the need to comfort her, to stroke that unusual hair and tell her she was beautiful, and that she was not alone.

" Kai. " My mind was in turmoil, but my heart had never been so certain. With trembling fingers, I reached out and lightly touched her cheek. I was desperately afraid I would do something wrong and frighten her away from me forever. I only wished that I could make her understand what she meant to me, female or not. 

The unfathomable crimson orbs watched me closely, wary of some trick, as I stroked my fingertips along her jaw, my skin tingling at the contact that was barely there. Growing bolder, I bent down close to her, silently revelling in her unique scent as it filled my nostrils and her unruly bangs tickled my cheeks.

" You are so beautiful, " I murmured in her ear, " I love you. "

She gave a shuddering sigh and suddenly her face was pressed into my shoulder, her arms wrapping around my neck and pulling me closer to her, as if I would disappear if she didn't hold on for dear life. I felt the wetness of her tears through my shirt, though she made no sound, and any last defence I might have had crumbled entirely.

I gently slipped my arms around her waist and returned the embrace, breathing her in again and again as we stayed like that for what seemed like eternity in a moment. At last, Kai loosed her arms and pulled away, looking up at me with the eyes I loved so much. They were filled with the old pain and sorrow, but aglow with a kind of shy happiness I had never seen in her before. She smiled, not her usual smirking smile, but a small, genuinely grateful smile. " Thankyou, Rei. "

Then the warmth faded and the crimson eyes hardened in their usual fashion. " But if you ever, EVER, 'peek' at me again, I will murder you. "

I laughed nervously, not doubting it for a moment.