The legend lives
By
Lupinsloons
Chapter Four
A talk between two grown men
DISCLAIMER – Nope
AUTHOR NOTE – Here's chapter four for you all, thanks to the people who reviewed the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this one!
Remus looked around his small office with a sad smile on his face, yet again he was having to leave the job he loved more then anything, the only one which had ever paid him fairly for the work he did, Werewolf or not. For a moment he hesitated his hand stilling on one of the many folders of work he had. Was he positive that leaving Harry even in the protection of Hogwarts beneath Albus Dumbledore's nose was the right thing to do? He frowned as his eyes fell onto the only two pictures in the room; one was of him, Sirius, Tonks, Harry, Ron and Hermione taken the previous Christmas, it wasn't this one that caught his attention though it was the second one.
He placed the folder back on the table and walked to the mantelpiece picking up the gold frame and rubbing a thumb gently over the glass smiling softly as he did. The photo had been taken right after his last OWL exam; the original Marauders in their prime at the grand age of 15 when they still had so many plans on what there lives would be like. Peter was standing slightly out of the picture, staring at something off of the picture before noticing Remus and waving brightly at him. The other three; himself, Sirius and James were standing together, James was to the right, Remus to the left and Sirius was in the middle with a careless arm draped over his friends shoulders, he was occasionally giving them noogies as well causing Picture James's hair to be even wilder. The teenagers in the picture didn't mind in fact they looked ecstatically happy.
He could remember taking the picture as if it was yesterday, after much persuasion on his part he had managed to convince Lily Evans that she wouldn't be undermining her hatred of James by taking the picture. It had taken three attempts though to get it right; in the first picture Sirius had been tickling the pair of them and while he had laughed hysterically James had turned round and battered Sirius just as the picture was taken. That one had been James's to keep, as a reminder to Sirius that he could knock him out every time if he chose to. The second attempt had been revenge on the part of Remus, James had held Sirius by the arms while Remus proceeded to tickle him causing shouts of laughter to echo round the Hogwarts grounds. By the time the last picture, the one he had, Sirius had gotten the tickling one, everyone was hysterical with laughter, even Lily was laughing and things subtly changed between her and James that day.
Remus smile faded away as he continued to watch his younger happier self. The three boys were all looking at him smiling the cheeky grins that would have had any sensible teacher or prefect suddenly on their toes looking for mischief. They were waving as well. Peter had been scared of being involved in the tickling match and so he had left them to it, occasionally popping into the picture to see if it was safe. He wasn't in it at that moment which Remus was glad for, he didn't want to be reminded of the person he once trusted with all his secrets.
He took a deep breath and placed the picture in his bag smiling at the other one as well as it joined his favourite. He knew that leaving Harry probably wasn't the most sensible thing he could do for the boy but letting Bellatrix live, allowing her the chance to kill others like she had done Sirius wasn't right either. Saving lives were more important then anything else and one day Harry would understand that.
Remus's amber eyes narrowed giving his usually calm, pleasant face a dangerous look, the wolf showing itself in its agreement with Remus to gain revenge on the person who took the last of his pack away from him. He bit back a snarl and ran a hand through his shaggy hair. He knew what he had to do and he wouldn't rest until he had done it, he'd avenge both his friends or he'd die trying.
He knew regardless of what anyone may say that if it had been the opposite way and Bellatrix had killed him instead of Sirius, that Sirius would have hunted her down and kill her in revenge the very same way that Remus was going to do. A half smile came across his face. Sirius and James were probably in heaven cheering that he had finally decided to do something dangerous and impulsive. The pair of them had always complained that Remus was growing bored with his need to keep the rules.
"Good evening Remus" a voice suddenly said at that point causing Remus's back to straighten. He didn't turn round though, he didn't need to he already knew who was in his office from the voice and scent of the person. The voice he had always listened to in the past.
"Good evening headmaster" he said, for the life of him he couldn't keep the coldness out of his voice, this time he wasn't going to back down from his decision, he had always been weak before but not this time.
"Remus" the old man replied, he walked into the room and smiled as Remus turned to face him, keen blue eyes watched the tired face of his old pupil, the one that now wore a defiant expression which brought back several memories of the last time Dumbledore had seen that look when both James and Sirius were still with them. His eyes dropped to the emptiness of the room. He had been extremely fond of the three Marauders and now only one remained, one who desperately needed his help whether he realised it or not. "I have just been having a little chat with young Harry, Ron and Hermione" he said calmly "They told me something very interesting concerning you for that matter" Remus closed his eyes for a second, he should have realised that Harry would have done something like that. If he had failed then he would have gone to the one person he had the most faith in even after all that had happened.
"I see" he said carefully "I guess they were telling you how I was leaving Hogwarts then" Dumbledore nodded smiling at him, it wasn't his usual smile though, that smile had everyone joining in even if they had no intention of doing so, this smile was a sad almost wistful smile.
"Remus" he began firmly "You probably think you're alone in this that you're the only one who feels pain over this whole situation but you're wrong, I understand what you're feeling, you may think I don't but I do. I can understand all to well the need for revenge, do you not think after all the lives of my friends, people I consider family that Tom has taken that I also have not felt the need for revenge, the need to kill him myself? To do that would make me no better then him. The same with you, if you kill Bellatrix then you'd be no better then her" Remus met the eyes full on, the normal twinkle were absent instead producing a hard watchful gaze, Remus shivered beneath the look "I know you're hurting, as is Harry, as is the Order as am I, we all fell the lose of Sirius" Remus looked away rubbing his arm unconsciously
"Dumbledore" he said quietly "I have to do this, I can't sit here in this office and in my classes and know that she's out there, taking the life of others who don't deserve it. I can't sit by and watch our world crash around our heads"
"And what about Harry?" Harry, Remus swallowed hard as his heart starting beating quicker. He loved Harry, as he would do his own son. He was now the Guardian of Harry after the death of Sirius, but he had to do this and Harry was in the safest place he could possibly be
"If I can do this and kill her then at least Harry will have one less person to deal with, one less person who could take Ron and Hermione away from him" he sighed as he shook his head "I wouldn't want Harry to go through the hell that I did, no one deserves to lose even one of their best friends let alone two, this way there's more chance of Harry not having to lose either or them."
"Sacrificing your life away isn't the answer Remus, to die and to join James and Sirius may be what you want now but it will just cause more pain to Harry and the boy has already experienced more then he should ever had to. You know as well as I that you are now responsible for Harry's well being. Are you going to allow him to lose another father figure?"
"If I fall" Remus began, his voice trembling slightly "Then Arthur and Molly can take care of him, I'll put it in writing in case the worse should happen" he ran a hand through his hair again "He'll be safe with them, they love him like a son" Dumbledore took a deep breath
"As do you" he pointed out "Arthur and Molly would love to look after Harry no doubt about that but what about you Remus? Do you think Harry is going to sit back and allow you to walk out of his life with no knowledge of whether you'll come back to him alive? Do you think he wants to lose you? Do you think your remaining friends will sit back and do the same, allow you to wonder off? We are all in this war together, we all fight Tom because there is nothing else for us to do, we all feel the pain of loss, we all miss the ones who have fallen, I also miss James and Lily but to separate and to go after personal grudges is dangerous, to separate the order is what Tom wants, it would be easier for him to pick us off one at a time. You are one of the most important members of the order, one of the only original ones left alive, the order need you, Harry needs you and I need you" he stared hard into the sad amber eyes of Remus Lupin, he could see the internal fight raging in the younger man. Finally Remus turned and looked out of the window and the heavy grey sky.
"No one needs a Werewolf Dumbledore" he said softly "I have spent my entire life allowing people to dictate me to their will, I've spent my whole life living for others because I wanted to be liked so much, it made me a coward due to that need" he remarked bitterly, self loathing on his face " Your words make sense to me just as they did the first time I met you when I was 10 and every time since then, but at this point I'm no good to anyone, not you, not Harry not the order. I'm stuck in this need for revenge" he turned to Dumbledore with haunted eyes "I'm not human you know, however much I wish I was, at one time yes I was but not now. I can't be any good when both the man and wolf want the same thing with an intensity that I haven't felt for a while. I know you have my best interest at heart but this is the one time you must let me go. I can't stay here and I can't stay in his house, its too painful, just a constant reminder. Let me go" Dumbledore watched him sadly watching the other man struggle against the tears that had filled his eyes at his plea.
He stood from his seat and walked over placing a hand on the others shoulder, his long fingers gripping hard in a comforting gesture
"Don't ever believe that you are not human, you're far more human then most people I have met" he commanded softly "You must do what you want, I'll not hold you back any longer, you are a grown man and it's not my place to dictate you. I shall always be here for you just as I always have been and these doors will always be open for when you return to us, You're job will be yours again when you come back to us" Remus smiled gratefully at him "I hold a great deal of respect for you Remus, more then I give most people and I trust that you are doing what's best. Good luck my friend" Remus swallowed hard and watched the other man turn and walk away slowly as if he had a great weight on him.
"Albus" he said, Dumbledore turned and faced him "Thank you for everything you'd ever done for me, I can never repay you for being one of the only people to view me as a person when others viewed me as a monster" a smile of mutual respect and understand covered their faces then Dumbledore left leaving Remus alone with nothing more for company except his photos and heavy heart.
A/N – Hope you enjoyed it, next chapter will be up soon! Please review but no flames if you will!