Everyone bar Joey and Rachel were sitting in the coffee house. Monica, Chandler and Ross were going through the process of being introduced to Phoebe's new boyfriend, Pete.
"Phoebe and I met at the Smokers Anonymous Meeting," explained Pete, a tall, dark haired and rather good-looking young man. "She was so honest about her habits, and I fell for her charm instantly."
"But Phoebe doesn't…" Chandler trailed off as Phoebe glared at him.
Pete smiled at Chandler. "Excuse me?" he queried.
Chandler turned to Monica quickly, but Monica shrugged. He turned back to Pete. "But… Phoebe doesn't smoke ALL the time," said Chandler, groping for words. "Only on occasions. I think she's more worried about her problem than she should be. I mean…"
"Pete, would you care for a cup of coffee?" Ross interjected, helping Chandler out. "The drinks here are really good."
"Thank you, a cup of coffee would be lovely," said Pete, sitting down next to Phoebe. Monica moved over to sit with Chandler at the little table. He had his head in his hands but she could tell that he was laughing a little.
"Hey," she said gently. "Well done getting out of that one!"
"Ahh, she does pick them," he said. "So how are you doing?"
Monica shrugged. "I'm ok, I guess," she said, resting her elbows on the table. "I just… could we meet up later? After work? I'd like to hang out with you, just you. We haven't done that for ages."
"Sure," said Chandler, looking pleasantly surprised. "Hey, how about you come to mine this evening? I can impress you with my "cooking" skills, as Joey will be out with this French girl he met at the park."
"Joey? With a French girl?" asked Monica, surprised.
"Yes… he introduced her to me this morning, saying 'Chandler, I'd like you to meet Marie. She's from Franceland!' I must say, she didn't look best pleased."
"Can she speak English?" asked Monica, smiling.
"Yes, she gets by. I think she understands it but finds it difficult to speak it. I taught Joey to say 'Voulez-vous couchez avec moi, ce soir?"'
Monica laughed. "Do you think he said it to her?"
Chandler laughed then. "Well, he tried, but it came out 'Poule- vous oublie avec toi, mes voir?' I dread to think what that means, but from what her response was, I think it had something to do with forgetting to see a chicken."
*******************************
Rachel was feeling a little nervous. It was her first date with Ross that night, and she didn't know where he was taking her or what they were going to do. Her hair had been up and down at least ten times in the past minute. In her worry, she phoned Phoebe for some advice.
"I'll come round," Phoebe said. "Pete's got to go and visit some family in Tulsa, so I'm free tonight. Don't worry, I'll help you."
Rachel was even more nervous now. She wasn't sure she needed Phoebe's kind of help but she guessed that Phoebe was better than no one. While she waited for her to arrive, she experimented with some mini-skirts. Not a good idea. She thought she seemed too much of a flirt with skirts that short on a first date.
"It's me!" Phoebe called from outside the apartment. "I've got clothes!"
"Oh dear god" Rachel muttered to herself. She forced a smile on her face and then went to open the door.
The sight that greeted her was pleasantly surprising. Phoebe was carrying some clothes across her arm and they all seemed reasonably sensible.
"Pheebs!" Rachel gasped. "These clothes are lovely! I didn't think they were your kind of thing!"
"Well," Phoebe said, coming into the apartment. "I knew that you wouldn't want to wear any of MY kind of clothes, what with your… must-be-coolishness… so I collected some of my clothes that I keep for these occasions."
Rachel was amazed. She instantly fell in love with some very stylish trousers that Phoebe had brought along with her, and asked to try them on with a flowing sleeved top that she knew Phoebe still wore from time to time, but which she had secretly admired from afar for quite a while.
"So, where's Monica tonight?" asked Phoebe from outside the bathroom door as Rachel changed.
"Oh, she's at Chandler's. He's impressing her with his heating-shop-bought-food skills," laughed Rachel. "I don't know, maybe he will actually cook something, but I doubt it will impress Monica. You never know though."
"So, what's going on between those two?" asked Phoebe conversationally.
"Well… promise you won't tell Mon I told you this?" asked Rachel, squeezing into the trousers and marvelling at how slim Phoebe must be.
"I swear on all my Gods," Phoebe promised. "So, is something really going on?"
"You know Chandler has liked Monica since like forever?" Rachel said. "Well Monica's suddenly decided she likes him too, but the problem is he seems to be fixated on his current boss… curse you and your slim hips Phoebe Buffay!" Rachel yelled.
"Oh dear," Phoebe said, ignoring Rachel's last comment. "Well, keep this to yourself, but I'm personally getting the feeling that those two are made for each other. Something will happen soon, you mark my words."
Rachel came out the bathroom, looking really nice in Phoebe's clothes. "Wow Phoebe," said Rachel. "You're going to have to let me borrow your clothes more often sweetie."
Phoebe shook her head. "Oh I can't do it too much. Then people will mistake me for someone who cares about appearance. I must say Rachel Green, you are very vain."
Rachel smiled. "OK Pheebs, I guess I am. But you can hardly blame me. It's my first date with Ross! I want everything to be perfect. You can understand that, right?"
"I can understand THAT," Phoebe mused. "What I can't understand is the desire to go out with Ross. Haven't you noticed his hair?"
Rachel looked at Phoebe. "No, Pheebs, when I see him I picture him bald," she said sarcastically.
"Oh oh oh! I do that with Monica!" cried Phoebe.
***************************
"That was amazing!" Monica exclaimed. "Chandler, you do surprise me. I never would have guessed that you could cook that well."
Chandler smiled, embarrassed. "Well, if you must know," he began, then stopped. "No, don't worry. Would you like some pudding?"
"No, go on," said Monica. "What were you going to say?"
Chandler went a little red, which unnerved Monica slightly. She'd never seen him embarrassed. "Well, the reason I took up cooking was so that one day I could impress you… like I am now, I guess," he said sheepishly. "But I guess I don't need to now. We're just friends. It's fine. And I really do like this new woman at work. Even though… you know, it's unlikely anything can ever happen. I don't even know if she likes me. It's all just a silly crush." He looked straight at Monica. "Like with you."
Monica took his hand. She had to tell him. She didn't want to go through the whole Ross/Rachel thing, not knowing whether to say how they truly felt. "Chandler…" she began. "Maybe… maybe it wasn't so stupid."
"What?" asked Chandler, a little confused. He'd suddenly realised again how pretty she was. All the reasons why he had liked her before came flooding back to him. He'd managed to block them out before.
"Maybe your crush wasn't so silly. Your crush on me. Maybe… it was a good thing?" she asked, her hands still holding his.
"Why though? You don't like me. We're friends Mon. I didn't want to ask you anything. I didn't want to ruin our friendship."
"You don't have to," she said. "I've been so stupid. And now… you like your boss! Now that I've decided I like you…" She trailed off as she watched Chandler's face.
He stood up. "Erm… I need to… go… room…erm…" He walked off, into the bathroom, leaving Monica sitting at the table.
What had she done? She could have kicked herself. She was just about to leave when Chandler came back in. He looked a bit angry.
"Why did you decide this now?" he asked her in an almost accusing tone. "Why couldn't you have decided this when I really really liked you?"
"Well, don't you anymore?" she asked him, sadly.
"Yes…no… yes, I do still like you," he said desperately. "But I thought I'd got over you. I'd told myself I was going to try and meet other people. I thought…"
Monica walked towards him. "Why is it such a problem?" she asked. "You haven't met anyone new yet, have you? Just this boss… and you don't even know if anything can happen with her. And we like each other, Chandler."
"I… I know," he said. "I don't know Monica. Maybe this could ruin our friendship. I don't want that. I love you so much, I don't want to lose you as a friend if we broke up."
"But what if we didn't?" she asked reasonably. "It only has to happen once."
"I can't say anything now," he said, and he suddenly seemed really tired. "Can we please talk about this tomorrow? You don't know how much I want to say yes to you Monica, but… I need to think. I'm sorry."
Monica nodded. "OK. I understand. I'm sorry," she said. "Just promise me you'll think about it."
"I promise," he said. He hugged her hard. Monica pulled away and left his apartment, leaving Chandler standing in his room, alone, with what he felt was the worst dilemma in the world.