*
There's only one thing I can say to you.
Farewell…
*
As I went down the hall, I was thinking about how I finally had my chance with Sora. I could ask him about the past and everything. I could make him remember.
It would be…perfect.
Right?
I tried not to doubt myself. I was very good at overcoming doubt; I had done it for an entire year already. A few more minutes while I searched for my friend couldn't possibly make a significant difference.
Right?
I walked along slowly, my arms behind my back with one set of fingers wrapped around the opposing wrist. I suppose I wasn't as worried as I should have been. I just journeyed down the dark and twisting hallways. I heard a noise and found myself entering the darkest and most twisted one.
"…Takahashi?" I tried meekly at first. I looked around me and saw only blackness.
I realized that, not only could I not see, I couldn't smell anything, either.
The familiar mustiness of the basement had disappeared. I could not hear the boiler anymore. I stamped my foot down on what had been concrete. The floor was hard beneath me, but there was no echo indicating the impact.
There was…no sound at all.
"Sora?" I was desperate this time. "Sora, where are you?"
In hopes of finding the wall, I reached my arm out.
Instantly I retracted it.
My mouth opened and I knew I screamed in reaction to the sudden coldness. But my cries failed to echo. I was...trapped…in the dark…
No… It can't be! Have I fallen into the Darkness somehow? Where's Sora?
"Sora!" I screamed as loud as I could. His name—those two simple syllables that I had held sacred inside for so long—merely echoed within my ears. There was no sound from outside my own body.
Something was terribly wrong.
Please, no… Please…someone…help me…
I heard something then, in my last moments of consciousness.
Unmistakably, it was the squeak of a Heartless.
The world of senses was opening up to me. It sounded as though waves were crashing against the sides of my head, and felt like a great weight was trying to flatten me from above. My stomach felt as if it was caught in a cyclone.
So many horrible sensations were consuming my body—I soon missed the emptiness of the moments before.
"Sora!" rode out on my final breath as I fell back into the nothingness. As my eyelids slipped downward, I believe I saw two growing orbs of light—one fiery red, the other a blazing blue—but perhaps I was mistaken.
*
"Watch out!"
My eyelids snapped open just in time to see something white heading straight at my face. Whatever it was made swift contact, and I stumbled backward. Around me, people were audibly wincing.
"Kairi, you okay?" Yuffie was jogging over to me.
Wait. Yuffie? In her gym shorts and white shirt? With an orange-red headband holding the hair back from her eyes?
I staggered until finally regaining my balance. The gymnasium windows were many meters above the ground, but sunlight was clearly shining through them. "S-Sempai? What happened to the typhoon?"
Her eyes narrowed. "Typhoon? How hard did that volleyball hit you?"
"No, no, I mean, I'm all right. I'm just wondering what happened with the typhoon."
"You talking about that one we had a coup'la months ago? Or a different one?" Yuffie looked around at the other players. "Oy, captain!"
A black-haired girl on the other side of the net looked up.
"Kairi's not feeling so good, so you think I could take her to the infirmary?"
The captain's eyes found the large clock on the east wall. "It's time to go anyway, Yuffie." She clapped her hands together and called out, "Five o'clock, everyone! Time to go! Have a good winter break!"
The team cheered and made haste for the locker room, some plucking up duffel bags on the way. The boys' basketball team, which had been using the other side of the gym, quickly ended their own practice.
I stood there in a state of utter confusion. Winter break? It was April!
…Wasn't it?
Maybe the volleyball…really had hit me hard…
The last thing I remembered was falling into Darkness.
Yuffie put her hand on my shoulder. "Oy! Kai-chan, you ready to get outta here yet? It's winter break for crying out loud!"
I shook myself out of my daze enough to walk next to her. We got cleaned and changed, all the while Yuffie chatting about vacation plans. The two of us were apparently going to some movies and on shopping sprees, and her family was going to spend New Year's in Kyoto. I just nodded and murmured uh-huhs whenever it seemed appropriate, but, in reality, I could not have cared less about shopping or holidays; my head was spinning.
Had—I quickly counted—seven months really passed without me knowing it?
What about the Darkness?
"So, are you and Riku going to spend New Year's together?" she prodded, grinning widely, as we fastened the large gray buttons of our matching black winter coats (also issued by the school). Coats…it was a new experience for me.
"Riku? What do you mean?"
She blinked. "On second thought, maybe we should go the infirmary…"
"No, I mean, I'm okay. But what do you mean 'Riku?' Isn't New Year's a holiday for couples?"
"Well, aren't you and Riku a couple?"
"No! C'mon now…we're just friends!"
Her grin melted into an expression of puzzlement. "Then why do you go on dates on Sundays and walk home from school every day holding hands, huh? And why did he give you that necklace you're wearing for your birthday? Is that what you call 'just being friends?'"
"Necklace? What ne—?" My hands located a band around my neck. I removed the thing immediately to discover what it was: a silver choker with a blue gemstone dangling off the end.
"Real sapphire—I can't believe how rich that guy is!" Yuffie was saying.
"I…where did it come from?" I mumbled to myself, reattaching the clasp behind my neck.
"I think you must've fried your brain on those stupid exams," she said dismissively, slapping my back to urge me forward. We left the locker room and headed outside.
"Cold!" I shrieked, clutching at myself. I had never felt a wind so bitter. And what was that white stuff on the ground?
"Cold? Aren't the winters, like, ten times worse on Hokkaido?" Yuffie wondered. "Don't you all get meters and meters of snow up there?" Her eyes grew wide at the thought, and then she seemed to settle back down. "I'm surprised we even got this many centimeters. It'll probably melt by tomorrow, ya know."
I knew the island I was supposed to be from was the coldest and snowiest in Japan, but the one I truly had grown up on had been blessed with a tropical climate. Every day in my memory had been hot, sunny, and humid, with the exception of a few during the rainy season. I had never before worn a winter coat or seen one single flake of snow.
But Yuffie was already certain something had happened to my brain, so I couldn't enlighten her any more about my confusion. Could she have possibly understood a blackout of more than half a year? When she still didn't remember her real past?
As we approached the school gates, our boots crunching in the small amount of snow, Yuffie lifted her head. "Speaking of your boyfriend, there he is now."
I slowed down. Indeed, there was Riku, waiting patiently by the gate.
For me, I knew. He was waiting for me.
But…Riku? Sure, he was plenty attractive and a nice guy, especially deep down, but he wasn't the one for me. I had someone else. There was no way I could have been dating Riku, not with Sora around. It just wasn't something I would have done.
I just wouldn't have betrayed Sora like that!
Sure enough, however, as soon as we reached him, Riku slipped his gloved hand over my bare one and squeezed affectionately. I couldn't pull away from him, given the slight possibility that we had actually become "involved" during the past months.
Yuffie gave me a quick hug and waved to Riku as she left, promising that she would call about the movies and shopping on Sunday or Monday. I did my best to offer a sincere smile. That's a hard thing to do when your life has been quite recently turned upside down.
Riku and I started walking without further delay. His hand was warm over my freezing one, so I didn't pull away. Besides, I didn't really have the heart…
"Two weeks with no school, no club practice, and no representative meetings," he said wistfully. "You excited, Kairi?"
"Mm," I replied.
"Something the matter?"
"Uh, no. I got hit with a volleyball in the face and, uh, I'm feeling kinda strange," I added quickly. Maybe I could use that as an excuse.
Or, just maybe, it really was the cause of my amnesia and in just a little while everything would come back into my mind and I would no longer be left in the state of utter confusion. I crossed my fingers on the hand that wasn't holding Riku's.
"So, what do you wanna do? Get some hot chocolate or tea at the usual place?"
"Um…" I stumbled around in my brain for words that would stop short of making me sound as cold and unforgiving as the weather. "I think…I want to go rest at home."
"Oh." He seemed disappointed.
"I'm sorry, Riku."
"No, it's okay. I'll just walk you home."
He was being so sweet to me, and so gently he was holding my hand. I felt guilty for the confused thoughts flying around in my head. The walk to my apartment building proceeded in silence. We stopped at the main door.
"How about you take a nap or something? I'll call tonight to check up on you."
"All right," I agreed.
Riku bent down and planted a quick kiss on my lips. He straightened suddenly to tower over me, looking down on me with confused aqua eyes. I jumped up and gave him a quick hug—it was the least I could do—before slipping inside.
"See you later."
"Yeah."
Once in the apartment, after relinquishing myself of my coat and boots, I changed into some pink sweat pants and an oversized yellow t-shirt. I fixed myself some tea and turned on the stereo, which had appeared next to my desk since last time. I pulled my futon from the closet and unfolded it on the floor. I sipped my tea and then crawled under the covers, letting the warmth seep into my numbed fingers and nose. The music gently wrapped itself about me.
I really was very tired…
*
"You feeling better now?"
"Yeah," I answered somewhat drowsily; my mother had just woken me up to answer Riku's phone call. Mom was currently over the stove preparing our late dinner, since I had been napping and failed to start the meal as usual.
Taking the cordless phone with me, I sat down cross-legged on my futon and wrapped the warm covers about myself. It was so cold! I could hardly stand it.
I had never used a telephone before. Funny, it didn't seem all that odd to talk with someone I couldn't see. I liked my stereo enough, after all.
"Hey, Riku," I said.
"Yeah?"
"Um…what happened to Sora?"
"Sora?"
"Takahashi?"
"Oh, you mean that guy from Homeroom 1-C? And the typhoon at the beginning of the year?"
"Yes, him," I said, a little confidence slipping into me.
"What about him?"
Any confidence that had been present decided a brief cameo was enough. "What happened to us? You know, us three?"
"Kairi, I don't know him any better than you. I haven't talked to him since that day, even though he takes judo lessons at the same place as me… Now why are you bringing him up all of a sudden?"
"You mean…we never…uh…hung out?"
"Kairi, are you sure you're okay? You're acting kind of strange today." His words were delivered hesitantly. I wondered if he felt awkward due to my attitude earlier. Should I have kissed him back, maybe?
"I do feel a little warm," I replied honestly, my head slowly sinking down onto my knees. I hadn't spent any time with Sora in all these months? How was that even possible?
"Maybe the cold got to you…?"
"Maybe…"
"Well…"
He paused for quite some time.
"Riku? You there?"
"You sound tired. Want to go now?"
"Yeah, sort of. Sorry."
"Could you…call me later this weekend? That is, if you're feeling better."
The guilt I felt was quickly approaching its climax. "Okay, I will."
"Okay. Good night, Kairi."
"'Night, Riku."
Click.
I turned off the phone and pulled my unwilling body up to go set the receiver down on its cradle. My mother was laying out the things for dinner. That miso soup smelled good…
"Kairi-chan, you sure you're all right?" Mom asked me. "You're usually so happy when you talk to Riku." She felt my forehead for a moment and her own brow creased. "Oh, my, I think you have a fever!"
I just continued frowning and plopped down in my chair at the dining table. "Mom, how long have Riku and I been going out?"
"You should know that better than me," she said, sitting down herself. She grew reflective as she started dishing up the rice. "But…it was September when you told me. You had to—to explain for that necklace he bought you for your birthday." She sighed and shook her head. "The money that thing must've cost…"
My fingers instinctively returned to the pendant. Sapphire was…September's birthstone... And the blue stone dangling from my neck was a sapphire. So, Japan's Suzuki Kairi and Destiny Islands' Kairi had the same month of birth. Perhaps even the same day?
I ate quickly and then returned to bed. My mother watched over me worriedly, saying I had pushed myself too hard at my studies again. She told me she was glad I had the break and didn't care if I slept for the whole two weeks. I felt like that was something I could easily do, and quickly returned to my slumber.
*
In my dream, I was falling through the Darkness. Everything was horribly cold. I felt like my body was being squeezed and torn apart at the same time. I could not tell what was going on, but I remained sure of one fact: I was falling, faster and faster. I tried to cry out but my lips did not have the strength. So, in my mind, I screamed out his name.
Sora.
***
Author's notes. I fear this story has gotten away from me somehow. I no longer have much control over what happens… Ay ay ay, you should see the next chapter. Pretty crazy stuff that's going on there. The angst queen returns!!
On a sorta personal note, today I just finished reading To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee and I recommend it to all of you. I do not know where Lee gained such skill with characterization! She shows an entire, real world through the eyes of a very believable young girl. Even the fairly minor characters are developed enough to come alive and walk off the page. I also started my web site a wee bit (thx for everyone's support!). It should be up eventually, but it'll take years to get my pictures scanned (you don't want to know how many I took…)
Lesson #6: (O)bento. Yummy. Bento (more politely, "obento"…there are some Japanese words that can be made more polite just by prefacing them with 'o'! How convenient! "O-sake," "O-genki," etc.) Anyway, bento are boxed lunches. Made by loving mothers, wives, or sold at convenience stores or train stations, bento are good for school, work, daytrips, cherry blossom viewings (something I plan to include later in my story)… Etc etc. They are usually eaten for lunch. Rice (gohan) constitutes most of the bento, with little side dishes included to suit personal taste. Fresh seasonal ingredients are normally employed in these side dishes, or okazu. Can't say I've tried a bento, but I'm looking forward to my first bite!