Disclaimer: This chapter was already saved on the computer so it didn't
take me as long to update. Please review!
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Good and Bad
Chapter 2
Slytherin Tryouts
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Lockhart: Hello, and welcome back. You're watching Hogwarts Idol, bringing students a step closer to fame and fortune. Of course as I always tell Harry, nobody can be as famous as me, no matter how hard you try. Anyway, I am your host Gilderoy Lockhart and these are your judges. Remus Lupin!!!
*Camera flashes over to the judges table*
Lupin: Welcome back boys, girls and dark creature!
Lockhart: Professor Trelawney, who still wont tell us her first name!
Trelawney: Hi mum!!!
Lockhart: And just as cruel, evil and slimy haired as usual, Severus Snape!
Snape: Life sucks.
Lockhart: Oh God, Snape's officially went insane. Ok... today we're in the Slytherin common room for auditions. First contestant please. God, I need a better job.
*A boy with slicked back white blonde hair, scary pale blue eyes and a pointed face enters the stage*
Lupin: Name?
Pale eyes: Draco Malfoy.
Lupin: Go on.
Draco: I'm going to be singing ' When you say you love me' by Clay Aiken
When you say you love me
Do you mean it
Baby, when you hold me
Do you feel it
I believe the magic in your eyes
I will wait until the end of time
Would you say you love me
Like you mean it
Baby when you hold me
Make me feel it
All I want to do is make you mine
I've been hurt a way to many times
Lupin: That was great!
Trelawney: Amazing!
Snape: If this guy makes it I'm slitting my wrists.
Lockhart: Congratulations. you made it!
Draco: *Smirk*
Snape: Don't you smirk at me! *Smirk*
Draco: *Smirk*
Snape: *Smirk*
Draco: *Smirk*
Snape: *Smirk*
Draco: *Smirk*
Snape: *Smirk*
Draco: *Gives Snape one more smirk and leaves*
*A fat boy with brown hair and a thick neck walks in*
Snape: Name fat ass?
Thick neck: Vincent Crabbe.
Snape: Sing you fat tub of lard!
Vincent: I'm going to *grunt* sing 'Jingle Bells'
Twinkle twinkle *grunt* little star
*grunt* How I wonder where you are
Shining in the night so *grunt* bright
Like a *grunt* diamond in the sky
Twinkle twinkle little star *grunt*
How I wonder where you are
Lupin: I thought you said you were going to sing!
Trelawney: You need to work on your singing and your appearance.
Snape: You sound like a dying cow!
Lockhart: Sorry but this is a singing contest not a constipated noise competition. You didn't make it so leave before I throw up on you!
*Vincent walks away like a rapper. A blond girl with a face like a shrew walks in*
Trelawney: Name?
Shrew: Pansy Parkinson.
Trelawney: Come on fine sista! Let's hear a noise out of you!
Pansy: *Looks scared* I'm gonna sing jump jump by Aaron Carter!
Jump jump
And say hi hi
Jump jump
From left to right
Jump jump
And turn around
Jump jump
And touch the ground
Lupin: *Mutter something about stupid Slytherins*
Trelawney: If you had just as many chances of living as becoming a singer you would have died years ago.
Snape: Stick a fork in you
Pansy: How dare you!?!?! You...you BASTARDS!
Lockhart: Now that young lady has a major attitude problem! Next!
*A tall boy with brown hair and huge yellow teeth enters*
Lupin: Name?
Ugly teeth: Marcus flint.
Lupin: Let's see what you can do.
Marcus: *Sing with major lisp*
This is the song that never ends
It just goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it
Not knowing what it was
And they continued sing it forever
Just because
This is the song that never ends...
*Two hours pass*
Marcus: And they continued singing it forever...
Lupin: STOP! You sound like the bleating of a goat!
Trelawney: All I heard was the saliva accumulating in your mouth. You need to have your teeth fixed young man!
Snape: Did anybody see my axe?
Lockhart: Sorry, you didn't make it?
Marcus: What?
Lockhart: You...did...not...make...it!
Marcus: I don't know what that means but okay!
*Marcus leaves and a chubby girl with brown hair enters*
Trelawney: Name?
Chubby: Millicent Bulstrode.
Trelawney: The oracle advises you to sing.
Millicent: I'm going to sing 'Paperback writer' by the Beatles.
Dear Sir or Madam would you read my book
It took me years to write would you take a look
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job so I want to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
It's a dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn't understand
His son is working for the daily mail
It's a steady job but he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
Lupin: I LOVE THE BEATLES! GEORGE HARRISON IS SO HOT! Ahem... You're the best! I love you!
Trelawney: That was so beautiful! The Beatles make such beautiful music! I remember when I was a lad, I love John. I was the one who killed his murderer you know, damn Chapman!
Snape: Somebody hand me a bottle of Paxils. (paxils are anger control pills for women)
Lupin: *Glares at Snape*
Lockhart: You made it! See you next week!
*Millicent walks out and a blond girl with a scary face walks in*
Snape: Tell me your name Bitch!
Scary face: Blaise Zabini.
Snape: Sing Bitch!
Blaise: I'm going to sing 'whenever wherever' by Shakira
Whenever, wherever
We're meant to be together
I'll be there and you'll be near
And that's the deal my dear
Thereover, hereunder
You'll never have to wonder
You can always play by ear
And that's the deal my dear
Lupin: Beautiful!
Trelawney: Absolutely wonderful!
Snape: The next time that I hear you sing I'll pull out your vocal chord with my bear hands.
Lockhart: You made it!
*Blaise walks out with a smirk on her face*
Lockhart: That's all for tonight, I have to go baby-sit my grandmother! See you tomorrow for the Ravenclaw auditions! Bye!
*Camera moves over and shows Lupin trying to keep Snape from swallowing a bottle of Tylenol. All suddenly goes black*
.
.
.
Disclaimer: I know, this is really bad but my friend made me put it up. She loves it. Please review!
.
.
.
Good and Bad
Chapter 2
Slytherin Tryouts
.
.
.
Lockhart: Hello, and welcome back. You're watching Hogwarts Idol, bringing students a step closer to fame and fortune. Of course as I always tell Harry, nobody can be as famous as me, no matter how hard you try. Anyway, I am your host Gilderoy Lockhart and these are your judges. Remus Lupin!!!
*Camera flashes over to the judges table*
Lupin: Welcome back boys, girls and dark creature!
Lockhart: Professor Trelawney, who still wont tell us her first name!
Trelawney: Hi mum!!!
Lockhart: And just as cruel, evil and slimy haired as usual, Severus Snape!
Snape: Life sucks.
Lockhart: Oh God, Snape's officially went insane. Ok... today we're in the Slytherin common room for auditions. First contestant please. God, I need a better job.
*A boy with slicked back white blonde hair, scary pale blue eyes and a pointed face enters the stage*
Lupin: Name?
Pale eyes: Draco Malfoy.
Lupin: Go on.
Draco: I'm going to be singing ' When you say you love me' by Clay Aiken
When you say you love me
Do you mean it
Baby, when you hold me
Do you feel it
I believe the magic in your eyes
I will wait until the end of time
Would you say you love me
Like you mean it
Baby when you hold me
Make me feel it
All I want to do is make you mine
I've been hurt a way to many times
Lupin: That was great!
Trelawney: Amazing!
Snape: If this guy makes it I'm slitting my wrists.
Lockhart: Congratulations. you made it!
Draco: *Smirk*
Snape: Don't you smirk at me! *Smirk*
Draco: *Smirk*
Snape: *Smirk*
Draco: *Smirk*
Snape: *Smirk*
Draco: *Smirk*
Snape: *Smirk*
Draco: *Gives Snape one more smirk and leaves*
*A fat boy with brown hair and a thick neck walks in*
Snape: Name fat ass?
Thick neck: Vincent Crabbe.
Snape: Sing you fat tub of lard!
Vincent: I'm going to *grunt* sing 'Jingle Bells'
Twinkle twinkle *grunt* little star
*grunt* How I wonder where you are
Shining in the night so *grunt* bright
Like a *grunt* diamond in the sky
Twinkle twinkle little star *grunt*
How I wonder where you are
Lupin: I thought you said you were going to sing!
Trelawney: You need to work on your singing and your appearance.
Snape: You sound like a dying cow!
Lockhart: Sorry but this is a singing contest not a constipated noise competition. You didn't make it so leave before I throw up on you!
*Vincent walks away like a rapper. A blond girl with a face like a shrew walks in*
Trelawney: Name?
Shrew: Pansy Parkinson.
Trelawney: Come on fine sista! Let's hear a noise out of you!
Pansy: *Looks scared* I'm gonna sing jump jump by Aaron Carter!
Jump jump
And say hi hi
Jump jump
From left to right
Jump jump
And turn around
Jump jump
And touch the ground
Lupin: *Mutter something about stupid Slytherins*
Trelawney: If you had just as many chances of living as becoming a singer you would have died years ago.
Snape: Stick a fork in you
Pansy: How dare you!?!?! You...you BASTARDS!
Lockhart: Now that young lady has a major attitude problem! Next!
*A tall boy with brown hair and huge yellow teeth enters*
Lupin: Name?
Ugly teeth: Marcus flint.
Lupin: Let's see what you can do.
Marcus: *Sing with major lisp*
This is the song that never ends
It just goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it
Not knowing what it was
And they continued sing it forever
Just because
This is the song that never ends...
*Two hours pass*
Marcus: And they continued singing it forever...
Lupin: STOP! You sound like the bleating of a goat!
Trelawney: All I heard was the saliva accumulating in your mouth. You need to have your teeth fixed young man!
Snape: Did anybody see my axe?
Lockhart: Sorry, you didn't make it?
Marcus: What?
Lockhart: You...did...not...make...it!
Marcus: I don't know what that means but okay!
*Marcus leaves and a chubby girl with brown hair enters*
Trelawney: Name?
Chubby: Millicent Bulstrode.
Trelawney: The oracle advises you to sing.
Millicent: I'm going to sing 'Paperback writer' by the Beatles.
Dear Sir or Madam would you read my book
It took me years to write would you take a look
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job so I want to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
It's a dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn't understand
His son is working for the daily mail
It's a steady job but he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
Lupin: I LOVE THE BEATLES! GEORGE HARRISON IS SO HOT! Ahem... You're the best! I love you!
Trelawney: That was so beautiful! The Beatles make such beautiful music! I remember when I was a lad, I love John. I was the one who killed his murderer you know, damn Chapman!
Snape: Somebody hand me a bottle of Paxils. (paxils are anger control pills for women)
Lupin: *Glares at Snape*
Lockhart: You made it! See you next week!
*Millicent walks out and a blond girl with a scary face walks in*
Snape: Tell me your name Bitch!
Scary face: Blaise Zabini.
Snape: Sing Bitch!
Blaise: I'm going to sing 'whenever wherever' by Shakira
Whenever, wherever
We're meant to be together
I'll be there and you'll be near
And that's the deal my dear
Thereover, hereunder
You'll never have to wonder
You can always play by ear
And that's the deal my dear
Lupin: Beautiful!
Trelawney: Absolutely wonderful!
Snape: The next time that I hear you sing I'll pull out your vocal chord with my bear hands.
Lockhart: You made it!
*Blaise walks out with a smirk on her face*
Lockhart: That's all for tonight, I have to go baby-sit my grandmother! See you tomorrow for the Ravenclaw auditions! Bye!
*Camera moves over and shows Lupin trying to keep Snape from swallowing a bottle of Tylenol. All suddenly goes black*
.
.
.
Disclaimer: I know, this is really bad but my friend made me put it up. She loves it. Please review!