CHAPTER 2
"Get a fire go'n…its gonna to be a cold one" Cole said as he and the riders came to a halt.
"I'm on it" Randy said as he dismounted.
Cole and the other riders reached the hills three miles above the ranch and stopped for the night. The men unsaddled the horses and tied them. They dragged the horse pads, saddles, and saddle bags over to the fire and stacked them up to block the cold dry wind.
After dinner the men lit up their cigarettes and settled in for the night. Cole stood up and gathered his gear.
"What ya do'n boss?" Randy asked
"I'm sleep'n over the hill...in case Lucky moves through here tonight" Cole said as he walked away.
Randy looked at him strangely and lied back down on his saddle. He noticed a change in Cole and he could tell he had things on his mind. Normally Cole would have someone else go and watch but for some reason he went himself.
Cole found some cover to block the wind and threw his stuff down. He looked around and found an old smooth snag to drag over and rest against, to block the bitter cold wind rushing through the tundra. He looked back and saw the horses huddled together against the wind. He could hear the wolves howling and it echoed through the hills.
He lied down against his gear and flipped his collar up around his ears and tipped his hat over his watery wind burned eyes. He rested his hand on the long double barrel rifle that lay beside him.
His mind started to wonder as he settled in. He could hear the fire cracking and snapping from their camp over the hill.
He started thinking about things he hadn't thought of in years. His life had always been revenge for as long as he could remember, and now things started to change.
He couldn't get the words from the woman in the saloon out of his head. It was what she said to him as he walked away from her….
"Someday that dam is going to break cowboy."
It wasn't like him to turn a warm body and beautiful face away. Maybe it was his age or the way things had gone bad with Lucky, or maybe it was something else. Cole heard a twig snap behind him. Snapping out of his thoughts, he swung his rifle around all at once.
"Whoa… whoa…it's just me." Randy said as he jumped over the old snag to sit with Cole.
"Are the men asleep?" Cole asked as he laid his rifle by his side.
"Yeah" Randy said as he lit up a cigarette and tipped his hat over his eyes as well. "What's on your mind?" Randy asked from under his hat.
"What are you mumbling about?" Cole asked sighing heavily and cleared his throat.
"Are you really going to make me ask again?" Randy mumbled.
"I suppose you want me to break down and confess my inner feelings?" Cole said sarcastically.
"If the shoe fits..." Randy added.
"I just want to get what belongs to me…I would like to have some sort of life again…Every man wants to…If I died, no one would ever know…I would be just a stone with my name on it and people would ask, Who is Cole Turner?"
"Hold on, you missed something..." Randy said with a smirk.
"What?" Cole said annoyed.
"You said it…You said you want a family and a wife, I heard you!" Randy joked.
"I said no such thing...!" Cole argued defensively.
Cole paused for a few moments." Suppose I did, come on Randy, we never thought we would be wild and crazy bandits forever?"
"Well, yeah, I would like a place of my own someday and a warm piece of ass by my side at night, but that life is not for us Cole, like it or not this is who we are."
***********
A month had passed and Paige and her family stayed with Phoebe to help her get things ready for winter. Johnny, Paige's husband, chopped wood and prepared the barn and the roof of the house. And the kids, Jessica and James, feed and watered the animals and Paige helped Phoebe prepare for the baby.
"Oh Paige, I can't tell you how grateful I am for you and Johnny and the children" Phoebe said as her and Paige made supper.
"That is what family is for sweetheart, I just hate that we are leaving in the morning" Paige said as she tested the stew.
"No, no, you have your own place to ready for winter, and you have given me such a start already.
Paige just smiled and kissed Phoebe on the cheek. Then she called her family to sit down to supper.
"Oh ma, this looks good!" Jessica said as her and James sat at the table.
Johnny walked in to the kitchen and kissed Paige as he finished rolling up his sleeves. They smiled at each other and Johnny kissed her again. Phoebe watched them out of the corner of her eye and she felt like she swallowed a rock. She missed the small things that a husband and wife did. The small things that no body would even notice until it was gone.
Paige sat the stew on the table and Phoebe brought the fresh bread. They all sat and Phoebe asked James to say the blessing. Then they all began to eat.
**********
The search continued for Lucky, but with no luck. There was no sign of him, and he could not be tracked with the weather. It had turned to fog and mist.
Cole had not been to the ranch for a month. He had not seen Phoebe, and it was eating at him. She was imprinted on his mind, and she walked around in his head. He had to see her again.
"Cole, the horses are tired and the men are beat" Randy yelled from behind.
Cole looked at the string of riders behind him and then looked at Randy.
"We will stop for the night up here, and then head for Lucky's ranch in the morning!" Cole yelled as he led the way.
***********
Paige passed the bread around to Phoebe and did not notice that Phoebe didn't reach for it. She looked at Phoebe and she had her head down with her hands folded on her lap.
"Phoebe, sweetheart, are you ok?" Paige asked setting the bread aside and touching Phoebe's folded hands.
"Yes" Phoebe answered simply biting her bottom lip.
"Are you sick?" Paige asked again
"No" Phoebe said as her bottom lip started to quiver.
"Are you going to cry?" Paige asked again with the kids and Johnny staring intensely at Phoebe, riding on Paige's questions.
"NO!" Phoebe blurted out just before she started to sob uncontrollably.
"Ok kids, it's bed time" Paige said shoeing them off."
"Kids, you heard your mother, it's time for bed" Johnny said and turned back to Paige.
"You too dear, this is a sister thing" Paige said smiling at him.
"All right, all right, I'm going" Johnny said and kissed Paige on the cheek.
"Mom, what is wrong with Aunt Phoebe?" Jessica asked as Johnny herded her and her brother to bed.
"We never get to hear grown-up stuff" James said in a disappointed five year old way.
Johnny turned and winked at Paige as he headed up stairs with the kids. Their kids always made them laugh. Paige smiled at him as she rolled her eyes. Phoebe didn't pay any attention, she just sobbed.
"Sweetheart what is it?" Paige asked getting back to Phoebe.
"I am afraid…I wonder where he's at?" Phoebe sobbed
"Who? That Australian that Patric warned us about?" Paige asked putting her arm around Phoebe's small shoulders.
"No….Lucky….That son of a bitch left me....He left me Paige…All alone…Why…Why Paige?" Phoebe sobbed harder.
Paige sighed and bit her bottom lip.
"I don't know honey…I just know he will be back…I am sure he wouldn't…stay away for ever?" Paige painfully fumbled cursing herself inside for sounding so unsure.
"That's reassuring!" Phoebe snapped and sobbed harder.
"I just meant, he will be done soon with his work and will be sent home soon." Paige said sounding more confident.
Phoebe felt like someone punched her in the stomach. She hated lying to her sister, but she had no other choice if she was going to protect Lucky.
"I miss him Paige…I miss his kisses…his smile in the mornings…his arms slipping around me from behind as I stirred the pot at the fire…The way he looked at me when I stepped out of my bath…and his warm legs wrapped around me in the night…I just miss…him!" Phoebe said wiping her eyes and trying to gain her composure.
"I know you do sweetie, I know" Paige said and laid her head on Phoebe's shoulder.
***********
The next morning Phoebe said her good-byes to Paige and her family and walked them to their carriage.
"I can never repay you Johnny for all of your help" Phoebe said as she hugged him.
"That is what family is for Phoebe, Thank you for sending the horse tack, it will come in handy this winter!" Johnny said and threw some stuff on the top of the carriage.
"Well, I am not using it and I hate to see it go to waist," Phoebe smiled at him and then turned to the kids, "And you guys! I have never seen such hard workers! Oh, I made you guys something." Phoebe said holding her hands behind her back.
James and Jessica waited anxiously with toothy grins from ear to ear.
"What is it, what is it Auntie Phoebe?" James asked as he jumped up and down in anticipation.
Phoebe pulled out leather chaps and a leather vest made from tanned elk hide. She gave Jessica a purse and moccasins made from the same leather.
"Oh…Aunt Phoebe, this is wonderful!" Jessica said
Both kids hugged and kissed Phoebe and then Johnny loaded them into the carriage. Paige wrapped her arms around Phoebe and hugged her tight.
"Now remember what Patric said about those men…don't let anyone suspicious in the house!" Paige warned
"I know, I know, I will be careful" Phoebe said trying to sound as confident as she could.
Paige had tried to question Phoebe about the men in the past, but Phoebe would always find ways to divert her. She didn't want anyone to know that Lucky was in on the bank robbery that Patric told them about. As far as Paige knew, Lucky left to get work for the winter. Phoebe had told her he took a mining Job down south. Phoebe knew it was Lucky that helped rob the bank as soon as Patric told her and Paige there was a group of bandit riders. She put it together that Lucky must have had the money the dark haired rider was looking for when Patric told her about the robbery.
"I hate to break up the good-byes ladies, but bad weather is on its way and I want to make the pass before it is blocked." Johnny said from the carriage.
"Yes, yes, hurry on your way!" Phoebe said walking Paige to the carriage, "Don't worry Paige about me, I will be fine and now Patric will be stopping by and the doc now that he knows about the baby, so don't worry and take care of my beautiful niece and nephew and that handsome husband of yours, and thank you for all you have done here Paige…I love you!" Phoebe said as Paige climbed in the carriage with her family.
"Ok Phoebe, I'll see you this spring!" Paige said as Johnny whipped the team and they headed off.
Phoebe stood and waved to Paige and the kids as they road off. Then she turned and walked to the cabin. When Phoebe walked in she felt so lonely. It was so quiet and her foot steps echoed as she walked across the floor. She already missed Paige and the children. Phoebe looked down at her stomach and smiled as she rubbed it.
"It's just you and me little one" She said and sat in her rocking chair by the fire.
Later that evening Phoebe started to knit by the fire. All her thoughts of the last few months crowded and bounced around in her mind. How Lucky got mixed up in such a mess made her mad, and how did he get mixed up with people like that? Then the memory of the dark rider rushed through her body and she tried not to smile when she thought about him leaning against her. His body was so big and his heart was beating so fast when he was near her. His eyes burned through her. Phoebe shivered and snapped out of her thoughts.
"Burr, it's cold in here!" She said out loud getting out of her chair.
It was cold in her house and winter was on its way. Phoebe walked to the fireplace and stirred the coals. She put the last pieces of wood in after dinner and now her wood pile needed re-filling from out side.
Phoebe reached for her shawl and the lantern on the table beside her chair. She grabbed the basket for wood and swung the screen door open and walked down the porch steps. She walked around the house to the wood pile and sat the light and basket on the ground. She began stacking the wood in her basket and the wind was howling all around her. Suddenly her light went out and Phoebe gasped. She could only see what the moon allowed. She turned to her lantern on the ground, and then she froze when she heard someone in the barn.
Phoebe ran inside the cabin for her gun. She ran down the hall way to her room. She could only see what the moonlight allowed her through the windows in her room. She knelt down and reached for her gun under the bed. She grabbed the shells from her dresser and knocked them off. They hit the ground and scattered everywhere. She reached for the ones by her feet and tried to load the gun with cold trembling hands.
Phoebe ran out side with nothing but the moonlight to lead her way. She ran to the barn and leaned against the small side door. Her heart was racing and her ears were ringing and she tried to listen for noise, but all she could hear was her heart beating. She slowly opened the door and she cringed when it creaked open. Everything looked normal. The horses were standing and feeding and they didn't seem alarmed at all. She looked at the tack on the walls and the equipment and everything looked the same.
Phoebe smiled to herself and she sat the gun on a hay bale as she walked up to one of the horses.
"What are you doing in here boy? Make'n all sorts of racket huh?" Phoebe said as she ran her trembling cold red hand down the horse's warm neck and ran her fingers through his mane.
Suddenly a ruff cold hand cupped over Phoebe's mouth and someone had her by the waist holding her tight.
"It's me, It's me" A familiar voice whispered in her ear.
His grip loosened and Phoebe turned around in surprise to see.
"I missed you!" Phoebe gasped as she wrapped her arms around Lucky's neck and buried her face in his neck.
"I missed you too baby!" Lucky said lifting her up in his arms.
Phoebe grunted when he lifted her.
"What is the matter baby? What is it? Stomach flu?" He asked staring down at her.
"No I…"
Phoebe paused and she stared up at Lucky, stopping herself. Lucky had been away for so long, he was almost a stranger to her in that moment. She just couldn't bring herself to tell him.
"Yes, I have had it off and on." She said quietly, hiding her true emotions.
Phoebe reached up wrapping her arms around Lucky's neck. She wanted to start sobbing and tell him that she missed him so much and she was so glad that he was home, but something inside of her held back.
"Where have you been Lucky?" Phoebe said as she closed her eyes hoping for the truth but dreading the answer.
"I had something I had to take care of sweetheart, don't worry, everything is going to be ok" He said holding Phoebe.
Phoebe cringed. She stood there with Lucky knowing he would lie to her, but hoping he wouldn't. She was right, and he lied to her like he did so many times before.
"Lucky…are you in some kind of trouble?" Phoebe asked pulling away and looking into his eyes.
They were dark and his beard had over taken his face. His hair was long and tangled and he smelt like horses and leather. He looked thinner and his shoulders felt smaller under his fir duster.
"No…Why do you ask…Has someone been asking for me?" He asked inquisitively.
Phoebe took a deep breath and walked away from Lucky. She stood with her back to him and folded her arms and closed her eyes again. The memory of the dark haired man rushed back to her. His eyes, lips, arms, hands, his body pressed against hers…..
"No…should there be someone asking about you ?" Phoebe snapped.
"I just meant, I figured Patric would be out here to check on things and I wondered what you told him." Lucky rambled.
Phoebe walked over to the hay and stood facing away from Lucky, and sighed heavily.
"Phoebe…What is it?" He said studding her closely.
"There was someone…"
"Who? Who was here Phoebe? What did he say? Tell me damn it!" Lucky suddenly snapped and grabbed her arms whirling her around to face him.
Phoebe looked hard into Lucky's eyes. His eyes were wild and panicked.
"How do you know it was a man Lucky?" Phoebe said in resentment, catching him in his lie.
Lucky sighed and looked away. "Phoebe just trust me, if that man ever comes back…shoot him." He said and he walked to the cabin.
Phoebe's stomach dropped and she felt herself trembling. She stood in the barn for a moment and then followed Lucky.
"Who is he Lucky? And what is it he is after?" Phoebe asked following Lucky inside.
"Just drop it Phoebe, I told you everything is fine!" Lucky snapped throwing his gear by the fire.
"No Lucky, I don't think everything is fine! I demand an answer! Who is he and what does he want?" Phoebe could hear the anger in her voice.
"He is just someone from my past, now drop it!" Lucky shouted.
"I won't! I hold my peace and stay in my place, but damn it Lucky, I deserve to know if we are in trouble!" Phoebe shouted back.
Lucky became angrier and he stormed across the room to the fire. Phoebe followed him and waited for an answer.
"Lucky!" Phoebe pleaded.
"Phoebe! Damn it! I said enough!" He yelled
"I have spent the last three months in torment…not knowing if you were dead or alive…and if you think I am just going to lie down and act like nothing ever happened you have another thing coming!" Phoebe yelled
Lucky whirled around and before she knew it, she was on her hands and knees staring at the wood panels of the floor. She was stunned and in shock. It all happened so fast. Phoebe reached up to her face and touched the hot stinging sensation on her cheek.
Lucky was standing over her and she could hear his heavy breathing. Phoebe whirled around to face Lucky with fire shooting from her eyes. She held her face and tears of anger and rage filled her eyes. Lucky looked down at her with just as much rage and then his eyes softened and he realized what he did. He knelt down and reached for Phoebe…
"This is familiar!" Phoebe mumbled in a hateful voice.
"Phoebe…I…didn't mean to…I…you should have stopped when I told you to and this wouldn't have happened again" Lucky said reaching for Phoebe again and pulling her up.
"What about all the other times Lucky…it is always my fault…isn't it?"
"I have to go…I don't know when I will be back" Lucky said gathering his gear.
"I remember the last time you said that…how long are you going to be gone this time Lucky? A year…two?"
"I don't know Phoebe" Lucky said as he packed his bag with food.
"You have a thing for hitting me and then leaving me don't you?" Phoebe snapped in a low voice.
"Phoebe! Don't make me do it again!" He said angrily.
She stood up going to the sink for a cold rag.
"I am sorry Phoebe, I wish things could be different" He said taking one last look back at her while he stood in the door way. "We will talk when I get back" He said walking over to her.
"Stay away from me Lucky!" Phoebe said stepping back
Lucky stopped and sighed, then turned and storm out.
"I might not be here when you get back!" Phoebe said under her breath as the screen door slammed.
Phoebe walked to the screen after a moment and saw Lucky galloping away and disappearing over the hill. Snow started to drift down in huge flakes. Winter had finally arrived. Phoebe walked back in the house and closed the door. Her emotions where frozen like always and she looked down at her stomach. She had so many mixed emotions. All of the sudden Phoebe gasped at the stabbing pain to her stomach. She fell to her knees and grabbed the edge of the table as she fell. Phoebe curled into a ball and closed her eyes. The severe pain took her breath away and she tried to get to her feet, but her attempt failed and she fell to the floor again moaning.