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Chapter 5 Losses
Harry didn't emerge from his room for several days and no one came to make him. Tikka brought him meals and Moony only put his head around the door to wish him goodnight. But they seemed to understand his need to be alone.
Harry spent much of his time meditating and trying to learn more about his Elemental magic. It became an obsession, Voldemort had to be stopped and Harry had to find a way to do it. The books helped him to control the air and the water around him. He was still a little afraid of the fire and he was getting no where with earth.
Harry woke up a week after Percy's funeral to find Moony sitting on a chair beside his bed.
"Good morning Harry, time to come and eat breakfast." He smiled lopsidedly, "Dumbledore would like to speak to you."
Harry showered and dressed and followed his friend to the breakfast table. He felt sure Dumbledore was coming to lecture him about working too hard, or staying in his room. To his surprise Dumbledore spoke of neither over breakfast. They talked quietly about nothing in particular.
Eventually when they had all finished eating Dumbledore said, "I think it is time that I helped you practice some of your elemental magic Harry. Do you think you're ready?"
Surprised, Harry said, "Yes."
"Well, let's make a start then. Why don't you bring your things to the practice room?"
Harry collected his books and wand then went to join Dumbledore.
"Harry, when you tap into the elements, you are entering a new realm of magic. It is ancient and powerful," Dumbledore began. "You successfully used it to enhance several spells, mostly all water and air spells, am I correct?"
Harry nodded, he told Dumbledore about each spell he had tried.
"I notice that you have not tried to channel fire and earth so far."
"Well I can't seem to connect with earth, and after what happened the first time with fire, I have been a little nervous of trying it again." Harry admitted.
"Why don't we start with fire then?" Dumbledore said.
He helped Harry to practice the spell he had learned the year before. Harry cast a flame from his wand and wrapped it around a post. It became much stronger and brighter than it had been before. Suddenly the post cracked and a startled Harry dropped his wand.
"Why are you afraid of fire Harry?"
"It's not the fire I'm afraid of, it's the rage that comes with it," Harry explained.
"Rage is not the only emotion fire can affect Harry." Dumbledore said. "Anger, lust and love are all encompassed in fire. Fire is difficult to control and can destroy all in its path. But if you can contain it, the energy will show you great truth and light."
"But how can I stop the rage taking over?" Harry asked.
"By channelling all the love inside yourself."
"You make that sound simple. I don't know if I can find any love inside anymore," Harry whispered.
"Think of your friends, Ron, Hermione, Remus, Arthur and Molly and perhaps myself," Dumbleodre smiled a little, "The love you have for them, and they for you, is a powerful force. Why don't you try it and see?"
Harry took the candle Dumbledore had conjured and concentrated on the flames. Taking a deep breath he felt the fire consume him. He became fire. Anger built slowly in his centre and Harry tried to push it away. Thinking of his friends and his lost family, Harry concentrated on his happiest memories of them; a warm burning feeling began in the pit of his stomach. A few moments later Harry recognised the feeling and he smiled. It was like being engulfed in one of Mrs Weasley's biggest hugs, Harry could feel all their love wrapping around him.
Opening his eyes he floated gently down on to the floor. Looking at Dumbledore he saw the old wizard was smiling, yet there was sadness in his eyes. Harry recalled his dreams and the feeling that Dumbledore was afraid to teach him Elemental magic.
"Why does it worry you that I am learning this?" Harry asked bluntly.
"Ah well, Elemental magic is the strongest magic any wizard can learn. Many have tried and failed to control it completely," Dumbledore sat on the floor beside Harry. "It is always dangerous for one man to hold too much power. History teaches us that many Elementals eventually went mad from it or withdrew to live secluded lives."
"That doesn't mean that I will," Harry tried to reason, although the idea frightened him.
"True," Dumbledore smiled, "But it is important to remember that no matter how much power we have over the world around us, fate is still fate, we cannot change that."
Harry considered this, Elemental magic could help him to change many things, but it would not help him change every thing that he didn't like. He couldn't bring back the dead. Or change someone's destiny, but it might be tempting to try sometimes.
"I think I understand. You're afraid that I will want to play with the world, just to suit myself," Harry told him.
Dumbledore looked surprised at the maturity in Harry's voice. "Yes Harry, I think someone as young as you might be tempted to meddle in things that seem unfair. If there was a tidal wave that destroyed a town for instance, or an earthquake in which children were to be killed. You might try to prevent them, interfering with the natural order of the world."
"But surely knowing that they will happen, it will be my duty to stop them?" Harry asked.
"That is what no one knows, and there in lies the problem." Dumbledore restored the post and said, "Now why don't you try that spell again?"
Harry cast the flame from his wand and it wrapped around the post. Instead of anger, Harry felt the happiness of being loved, the flame from his wand glowed almost white in its intensity but the post remained intact. Harry looked at Dumbledore for an explanation.
"Love is not a destructive force."
"When will you show me what the Green Flame Torch is for?" Harry suddenly remembered to ask.
"Soon."
"How will I learn to connect to earth?"
"I think your interpretation of earth might be holding you back." Dumbledore frowned slightly, "Earth encompasses all living things in nature, trees, plants and birds."
Harry thought about that, maybe he was concentrating on the wrong thing. Dumbledore conjured a small potted plant and offered it to Harry. Harry took it and closed his eyes. Concentrating on the plant he tried to imagine himself being drawn into its leaves. His breathing became laboured and he dropped it.
"No Harry, you must seek the plants life force, not try to give your life force to it." Dumbledore said sharply.
"Sorry," wheezed Harry, repairing the plant pot and lifting it.
"Are you alright?"
Harry nodded and tried again. This time he imagined the plant feeding him its energy, for an instant he felt cool and calm, and then the feeling faded. Opening his eyes he saw Dumbledore looking at him expectantly.
"I'm not sure. I felt something for a minute, and then it was gone." Looking at the plant in his hands Harry saw it was brown and withered. "Did I do that?"
"Yes," Dumbledore replied quietly, "Perhaps now you can see why I fear what Elemental magic could do to you."
Harry suddenly felt very cold inside. He had killed something, without even meaning to. Another part of his mind thought about doing that to Voldemort, and then he shivered at how easily that thought had formed.
"I think you've had enough for now." Dumbledore told Harry. Harry nodded his agreement.
They had lunch and after Dumbledore led Harry back to the practice room. They spent the afternoon on Harry's silent voice, which had become almost as strong as his spoken magic. His wandless magic was improving, though it still took a great deal more energy than normal magic.
Dumbledore excused himself to attend an emergency meeting at the temporary Ministry of Magic, leaving Harry and Moony alone for dinner. They ate and then Harry returned to the practice room alone. He spent four hours trying to connect with earth, using various plants. But the end result was always the same. The plant died.
Harry fell into a restless sleep. Voldemort sprang up in his mind and Harry couldn't rid himself of the image. All the anger of the last few weeks and the fear of what elemental magic could do, were at the forefront of Harry mind as he concentrated on Voldemort.
Subconsciously the questions Harry longed to ask played over and over in his head. "Where will you strike next? Why are you doing this?" Suddenly Harry's dream shifted gently and he saw himself standing in front of several Death-eaters and three dark haired, bearded men.
"How are the preparations going?" Harry hissed.
"We will be ready for a strike tomorrow, just as we promised," answered one of the men.
"Very well, how long will it take you to place the devices?"
"For maximum effect we need to plant fourteen separate devices around the hospital. It should take no more than half an hour." the reply came.
Harry felt his face stretch into a smile. "Your payment will be made to the back account, just as before."
"When will you use your hocus pocus to help our cause?"
"When you have completed your part of the bargain," Harry heard himself hiss.
"You said something about a train station being the last one after this?"
"On September 1st, I expect you to be ready at Kings Cross station in London." Harry laughed.
Sweating and shaking Harry pulled himself awake. Pain screeched from his scar and he couldn't contain the scream escaping from him as he sat up in bed. Trying to take deep breathes to calm down, Harry jumped as Moony burst into his bedroom, with his wand drawn, yelling Harry's name.
"I'm alright," Harry chocked out.
"What happened?"
"I think that Voldemort has arranged an attack on St Mungo's. You have to contact Dumbledore."
Moony raced out of the room without another word. Harry tried to get out of bed but his legs were shaking. So he sat on the end of the bed clutching his scar waiting for his strength to return.
Moony came back, holding a gilded mirror in his hand. Harry remembered the one like it that Sirius had given him.
"Dumbledore wants to speak to you, Harry." Moony handed it to him.
"Are you all right?" Dumbledore's reflection asked.
"My head hurts, that's all."
"How did you have another dream? I thought you were practicing your occlumency."
"Actually, I think I might have initiated the contact this time, by mistake," Harry muttered.
"I will be there in a few minutes, give this back to Remus a moment please." Dumbledore told him.
Harry handed the mirror to Moony and went to have a quick shower and dress before Dumbledore arrived.
The troops came in force; Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, Moody, Tonks, Elphias Doge, Dedalus Diggle, Bill Weasley and a witch Harry thought was called Hestia Jones were assembled in the dining room when Harry walked in.
"How's your head?" Dumbledore began.
"Fine now," Harry replied quietly, a bit overwhelmed at how many people apparently believed him.
"Can you tell us what you saw?" Dumbledore asked, "In as much detail as you can remember."
"Um, I was standing… no I mean … Voldemort was standing in a large room with four death eaters and three men, they looked liked muggles." Harry looked down at his hands on the table. "Voldemort asked them how much time they would need inside the hospital tomorrow, to set up the devices. And one of the muggles told him there were fourteen of them, so it would take half an hour."
"Fourteen devices or muggles?" someone asked.
"Devices. But the muggles want his help with something else; he said that after 1st September when they blow up Kings cross, he would help them."
"He's going to attack the Hogwarts express? But surely he knows he cannot damage the train Albus?" McGonagall said.
"He would undoubtedly be aware of that, however several million muggles pass through that station every day," Dumbledore said darkly, "they would have no protection from a magical attack. And a muggle bomb could reveal platform 9 ¾ to them."
"Our priority has to be the Hospital," Hestia Jones said.
"Have there been new protections set up?" Harry asked hopefully.
"Some, yes, but I think we should get as many of our people there to keep watch as soon as possible," said Bill Weasley.
"Are we sure this is not another trap?" Snape asked, "He has been known to manipulate Potters dreams before."
"You said earlier you thought that you may have inadvertently made the connection?" Dumbledore asked Harry.
"Well I was thinking about what had happened earlier in training….you know?" Harry looked up at the head master, who nodded. "I was dreaming about him and asking what would happen next. I didn't really expect an answer, I was just frustrated. Then it changed and it was like the dream I had when Mr Weasley was attacked."
Dumbledore nodded and said, "Severus, there has been talk of an attack on St Mungo's, you said so yourself. Has there been no mention of a timetable?" Snape shook his head. "I think we must take this seriously, I will go to the Hospital and speak to the directors. In the mean time, I want Alastor and Bill to look over the plans for the building, try to work out where it would be necessary to plant the explosives. Arrange for our people to be watching there." Dumbledore stood up and the others followed suit.
"Harry, let me know if you remember anything else. Severus, I will ask you to find out what you can, do not risk exposing yourself." Dumbledore turned to look at the pale faced Professor, "This could work to your advantage, if Voldemort has not told you of this attack, then he cannot suspect you warned us."
Harry thought Snape's expression said, 'he must already suspect me, if he didn't trust me with this.' Harry pitied any man who had to face Voldemort, even Snape.
"What about the Hogwarts Express?" Harry asked.
"One crisis at a time," Dumbledore answered. "We will deal with that tomorrow."
Harry couldn't help mentally filling in, if your information on this attack proves accurate.
The Order members left, and Harry and Moony sat in silence for a while.
"How about an early breakfast?" Moony said after a while.
"Sure, but lets not wake Tikka, it's only five o'clock." Harry replied standing to go to the kitchen.
As it turned out Tikka was already awake, making coffee for them. They muttered their thanks as she shooed them out of her kitchen with a tray of coffee and toast, promising to bring their breakfast in a few moments.
"What happened with the Goblins by the way? I forgot to ask." Harry said to Moony.
"Apparently they offered to support our side, for a price." Moony said, swallowing some coffee.
"How much?"
"They want to be removed from the list of magical creatures and recognised as equal citizens of the Magical community." Moony answered.
"Wow, what did the Ministry say to that?"
"Well that's what the Wizengamot were debating the day of the bomb." Moony said, "But the bombing worked in our favour in a way, it helped convince the Wizengamot that we need all the allies we can get."
"So they're going to change the laws about the Goblins?"
"They're discussing it. Goblins magic has been bound for a long time, just like the House-elves. They are both powerful creatures. The Goblins will have to agree to the statute of secrecy. Historically they were never too worried about muggles discovering them, they like to play practical jokes," Moony explained. "You studied them, I'm sure you know what their capable of."
Harry tried to recall some of the Goblin Revolutions he had studied in History, but mostly they were just a blur of strange names, and lots of fighting.
"Do you think that the ministry will go for it?" Harry asked.
"Dumbledore's in favour of it, Fudge hated the idea. But now that he's gone, Amelia Bones is much more reasonable." Moony answered.
"What about house-elves? You said their bound magically as well." Harry asked.
"They are so domesticated now that it would be cruel to release them."
"Don't let Hermione hear you say that," Harry smiled.
"I know, but really, Dumbledore did mention it last year. The house-elves are powerful. They can do magic just as well as we can, that's one of the reasons their not allowed to use wands," Moony said.
"Do you think anything has happened at the hospital yet?" Harry asked.
"I'm sure they'll tell us when it does," Moony replied.
"How will the students get to school next year?" Harry asked. He knew he was jumping from topic to topic, but he was nervous, although Moony didn't seem to mind.
"Dumbledore will work it out, stop panicking," Moony added.
"I can't help it, I feel as if it's my fault, you know?" Harry replied.
"How did you come to that conclusion?" Moony asked in a puzzled voice.
"I felt myself speaking the words. I ordered those men to set the bombs."
"No you didn't, that's the trouble with Legilimency, you can live in someone else's thoughts," Moony told him. "You didn't really order the attack; you were just there when he did."
A loud crack announced the arrival of Tikka with the breakfast tray, Harry tried his best to control the guilt eating away at his stomach, and concentrate on the food instead. Hours passed slowly, occasionally Harry would ask Moony a question, and Moony would answer. Then they would both fall silent again.
Eventually Harry excused himself, and went to try and concentrate on his elemental meditation instead. He sat on the floor and tried to access Air, it always relaxed him more than the other three.
Harry could feel the energy swirling around him, breathing deeply he felt that he could sense every particle of air around him. Relishing the calmness of it, he allowed himself to be drawn deeper. He could hear distant voices, whispers in the wind. Straining, he tried to hear what they were saying.
Hold him. Don't let him escape. Who are you? How did you get in here? Did you get them all? Are there any more? "Harry!"
Harry opened his eyes in surprise, that last voice had sounded so close.
"Harry, can I come in?" Moony called, and then opened the door anyway. "Harry, Dumbledore called, they caught the muggles with the bombs!
Relief washed through him, they had caught the bombers, he had been right. Harry smiled at Moony and said, "Thank God for that."
"Harry, do you know how many lives you saved today?"
Harry smiled and in his happiness forgot about the voices he had heard. He went with Moony to wait for Dumbledore to arrive.