A/N: A quick little note...Just thanking MV...My new Beta...Who I now whoship...LOL.
I just want to thank her for suffering throw my grammer and spelling errors...And my britsh way of spelling...;-) Enjoy guys...Feedback is welcome...And flames to help my writing along...But please don't be rude....
A/N2: TIMELINE: After Harper's first suicide attempt...Also there might be some slight paring... H/R and T/B.....
Chapter 1: Harper and Rommie.
I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more
I lay dying
And I'm poruing Crimson regreat and betrayal
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
~Evanescence: Tourniquent {Fallen}
Harper's POV
I pull the small kifne out of it's hiding place from my boot. Just the place that it is supposed to be. I smile softly. After rolling up my sleeves, I place it on my arm and pull it across my skin. Pain is good, it means I can feel. I sigh and lean back against the wall. I can feel my heart pick up as the blood drips down my arm. Calm...have to remain calm...Rommie will know. It's not time...yet...for her to know. I breath deeply and bring my heart-rate back down to a normal level. I let myself grin. I am a king...No scratch that I am a God!
Another small but deep cut I watch the blood with amusement. It drips off my arm into the clean tub. Don't want the others to have to spend to much time cleaning up after me. Breath....Just remember to breath.
Okay, it's time. I place the knife on my artery and draw it back. The blood freely pours from my slit wrist. All I can think of is the other arm. My hand shakes. Unsteadily I place the knife on my other wrist. Come on Seamus...Don't chicken out now... Deep breath in and....
Flash
I see Beka smiling at me and messing my hair up.
Trance playing with her plants, Introducing me to them for the first time.
Rommie, as I build her human body. I can feel the pride I felt as she stopped those evil kids.
Dylan smiling as we walk to the machince shop.
Tyr as we fight side-by-side against the Magog.
End of Flash
I drop the knife, it clatters to the floor. I try to hold my bleeding arm with my un-injuried one. But I am to weak...I've lost to much blood.
Flash
I see mom and dad smiling and waving to me as I go out for the day.
Brendan tapping his foot as I run to greet him. He smiles.
My little cousin's before the Magog raid. So happy and carefree.
My first true love Anna as she kisses my cheek.
End of Flash
"Rom-" I begin but my mouth is too dry, I close my lips and wet them. I try again but fail. I need another way. I smile and concentrate on my heartbeat. It begins to pick up. Rommie flickers in front of me. I knew she was watching over me.
"Harper, I detected-" She is speechless as she looks down at me. "Oh-MY-GOD!" She turns pale. If that's even possible. I giggle at the possibility. I feel light-headed. "My avater...is on her way." I nod as she flickers out of sight. I feel sick to my stoumach. I close my eyes.
Flash
The entire crew is gathered. Everyone is smiling. Even Tyr. Rommie half hugs me. I grin.
End of flash
Rommie is holding my bleeding arm when I rouse. A tear is rolling down her perfect cheek. I use what little strenght I have left and wipe it away.
"Rom-Doll; don't cry for me." She sobs and holds my arm tighter. I lick my lips. "I love you Rommie." She pulls me into a hug.
"And I love you, Harper." My eyes close and I drift asleep. Thanking th Divine that Rommie was the last think I saw and not all of my blood.
I'm a soldier,
these shoulders hold up so much,
they won't budge,
I'll never fall or fold up
I'm a soldier
Even if my collar bones crush or crumble
I will never stumble
I'm a soldier...
~Eminem: Solider {The Eminem Show}
Rommie's POV
I make the final round before I head back to the bridge. Before my hologram appears before me. "Harper is in trouble."
I can't help but notice the fear in my voice when I speak up. "Where is he?"
"His quarters."
"I am on my way."
Harper is---at least I hope he is---sleeping. I step forward then hault. I can't...I---I. I slowly walked over to him. There was so much blood. Oh-God.
"Scan the ship for intruders!" I command as I take a few steps towards my fallen enginner.
"I cannot locate any intruders." My AI tells me.
"You're wrong...Look harder." A tear rolls down my cheek as my hologram appears infront of me. She is so sad.
"There is nothing out of place." More tears race down my cheek. I wave my hand and she fades out. I look around. Everything is so neat. So unlike Harper. Like he was planning this...Oh-My-God! She ran across the room. Harper was coated in blood. Damn...Damn...Damn...I grab him and pull his body towards me. I hold his arm where it looks to be bleeding the worst. More tears roll down my cheeks and I bit my tounge to remain quiet. His eyes slowly open and his finger wipes a tear away from my cheek.
"Rom-Doll; don't cry for me." I sob and hold his arm tigher. "I love you, Rommie." I pull him into a hug.
"And I love you, Harper." His eyes close again. "Gods not now." I pull Harper up into my arms. He has a pulse and is breathing, but both are weak. I open a ship-wide comm.
"MEDICAL EMERGENCY!!!" I walk to Med-Deck with Harper in my arms. I vaguely remember mumbling Not now...Not after the Magog is gone...Harper has been so depressed about not being able to save Hohne. He wouldn't would he? The doors open and I walk in. The new golden Trance is aready there waiting for me.
"What happened?!?"
"I---I don't know." I lay him down. I do know but I can't force myself to say it yet. Beka runs in. I turn and meet her half-way to the bed. She stops dead in her tracks and I know she is looking at the blood in which I am coated.
"What happened?!?! What's wrong?" She moves to go around me. I block her.
"Don't."
"I want to see him!" She demands. Dylan and Tyr run in.
"What's going on?" Dylan says. Tears spring to my eyes. I command myself to hold it together. For Harper. I take a deep calming 'breath'.
"It's Harper." He notices the blood.
"What Happened!" I can't say anything. I am frozen. Me, the avatar for the Andromeda Ascendant, the greatest warship know to the known Worlds and I can't answer a simple question. My hologram appears, she is almost as lost as I am.
"ANDROMEDA REPORT!" Dylan orders.
I remain frozen. I can't tell them....I can't hurt them....My hologram speaks up. "I....We....I...Found Harper this way in his bathroom."
"Ship, how did you find him?" Tyr growls at her...me...us.
"Bleeding to death." I snap. Must follow orders. The hologram looks at me in shock. She is trying to think of reasons. All she had seen was a weakened Harper. She hadn't held his dying body in her arms as he told her that he loved...LOVES her...me...us. I frown and shake my head.
"Intruders?" Tyr asked.
"None." I say. I feel like I have betrayed Harper. But I can only tell the truth unless commanded to do otherwise.
"That would imply that the little professor" Tyr doesn't finsh his own sentence. His blood pressure rises and breathing picks up. His mouth sets in a grim line. The Nietzschean isn't as dumb as he looks. I want to laugh out loud. Gods I want to cry but I can't, worships don't cry...Hell Avator's don't cry. I try to seperate myself from this human. And their weakness. Feelings...Blah...We both bow our heads as he says this statement.
"I will be in my room." And with that he turns on one foot and exits the med deck.
Beka finally finds her mouth. "Is he?" Beka motions to the middle of the Med-Deck.
"No, he's alive...but barely." Trance said as she joined the small group.
"Can I see him?" I ask.
"I want to clean him up first...Maybe you should do the same." She lightly touches my arm. I pull back.
"I'll clean up once I see him." I can hear Dylan sigh and I don't care.
"Rommie don't make me give you an order."
"Then don't...Dylan...Captain...I need to see him." He closes his eyes and nods.
"Five miuntes. No more."
"Yes, sir." I nod and walk over to Harper's bed. Blood is everywhere.
"Hey, Harper." I bite back a sob. He is so pale. I take is good arm and hold his hand. "You really scared me." Nothing...For what has to be the first time in his whole life Harper is silent. "Harper I just want you to know, I meant what I said, back there in your room." I shuffle my feet and sense the others looking at my back. They are worried. I smile. "Come back to me, my small engineer." With that I brush his hair off his face and lightly kiss his forehead. "I need you." I feel a smaller hand on my shoulder. It's Trance.
"I need to work on cleaning him now." She smiles at me. "You can come back later. I promise."
"Sorry about just now." I say talking about not letting her touch me.
"It's okay. Go take a shower." I nod and back away placing his hand back down beside him. She turns me around and gently pushes me towards the door like you would a child that has seen to much and is drained.
"I'll be back." I promise. "When; I don't know. I just know that I will be back." I walk across the room. Not stopping at the others. I continue on my way. I walk straight to my room. I lock the door and turn around. I strip off and throw the dirty clothes into the recylcer. I walk over to the shower I never use. I like baths. They are better then showers. But after seeing Harper in his bathtub---I shiver and the water instally turns on. I step in. Boiling hot. It will wash away my pain...Why do I even bath? Harper made nano-bots just for me. Ones that would clean my outer surface. So I wouldn't have to go through all the trouble that humans do. I was going to take them, but what Harper on said changed my mind.
Flashback
He holds the small contaniner up in front of my face. It's been three days since I was...created and I am beginning to feel dirty. To the point where I am grossed out...Damn Harper for changing my grammer codes. I can understand him to the point I wish I didn't. I let a small smile cross my face.
"But to tell you the truth Rom-Doll. You will never be able to forget the feel of water washing over you body."
"Please Harper just give me the Nano-bots." He grins at me.
"Here," He passes me the vital. "Just do me one thing....Try a shower and if you still don't like it afterwards then use them by all means."
I look at him. "I'll give it a try." He smiles at me. At that moment I wish I had know what he had meant.
End of flashback.
Being able to shower or bath like everyone else had been amazing and now I knew why Beka enjoyed having her weekly bath...No matter what other people say Seamus Harper is a genius.
I let out a animal cry and sink down to the floor. I hate the way I feel now.Damn him for being so good. Sobs pull at my body. The water rains down on me as I sit down. I'm safe to show my emotions here. No one can see...No one will ever know. The water stops sometime during my crying display. I remain seated. I close my eyes. 'Androids don't sleep' I hear someone say. I lay down on my one side. I reply.
"This one does." And with that I let the darkness take over me.
A/N: So what do you guys think... think I should countiune? Or leave it as it is...LOL...I'm just kidding I've almost got my next chapter ready and Please don't forget to hit that letter button down there and leave me your thought and comments...It helps the writer to write more soon and more often...Later Days :-)