The Ultimate Price

Disclaimer: Neither Celine Dion's song nor the characters belong to me. Oh except for Shinji. Heh, you thought he was Kenshin didn't you? lol He belongs to me!! muahahaha~~

Absently, I passed the rag to Shinji and grabbed the phone to call the Commander amidst Shinji's numerous questions. However, he was silenced with a look. I was not in the mood to baby-sit a twenty odd year old man who does not know the right time to ask questions.

"Commander Saitou? It's beginning."

Cos I have found a dream that must come true,
Every ounce of me must see it though,
But you are my only
I'm sorry I don't have a role for love to play,
Hand over my heart I'll find my way,
I will make them give to me

Immortality
There is a vision and a fire in me
I keep the memory of you and me, inside
And we don't say goodbye

-Celine Dion 'Immortality'

Immortality, like all other gifts from the Gods, comes with a price. Despite living amongst the humans, it was this gift, which set the Ageless apart from their charges. The Ageless are constantly on the move, unable to stay in one place, for fear of discovery as discretion and secrecy of was utmost importance in their roles as guardians of the future. They lived outside of time, a spectator in the events of the mundane world until a Sign occurs and with it, the return of the Gods.

"So… can I ask you now?"

Shinji shot me a plaintive yet beseeching look that demanded my attention the way he always did. He needed answers and I believe he deserved them.

Raking my hands through my hair I had no idea where to start. I always thought that I had enough time with him. Enough time to get to know him, to simply be with him and… to fall in love. But now all my plans were ruined. The time to deliver the Flame was at hand and I, it seemed, was one of the torchbearers.

But how was I to explain? The story was long and the journey from the beginning of time 'til now was arduous. How can I convey that to him? Perhaps from a starting point that he could understand…

"Do you know what's the hardest part of the job? It's not the numerous struggles, or the fact that in every battle you're fighting for your life. It's the knowledge that as you fight, no one is going to thank you, no one is going to see that you're fighting their battle and when you get home, it's still that same dinghy apartment, that same loneliness you're facing. No change."

Turning to Shinji, I know that although he can sympathize with my confession, he would never understand it. He has never seen the things that I have, been through the experiences that I did. Even these words that I confide in him are merely the shadows on the walls of the true figures that can never be described in its entirety. Still, I explain to him, telling him the words that I've been hiding for so long... far too long.

Out from the mist, he walked through, as though the water droplets themselves were parting for this man. He blended so well into the background that it was hard to discern where nature ended and where he began. Yet looking at him, it was hard to describe him as anything but striking.

"It's a lonely existence that we lead, Lady Kamiya." His aquamarine eyes bore into mine as he kissed my hand in greeting. "Why shouldn't we make most use of our... time?"

"I beg to differ. Our lives are as lonely as we allow it to be. Following the path that leads ahead would only bring us contentment."

Anger flashed as he sought to quench the fire and his face in the placid mask I first saw it in.

"It is a pity you think that way Madame."

"We're all fools my lord, the question is: Who's going to be the last fool standing?"

Grabbing his hand, I sought to find the warmth in it that I could not seek in myself. He must understand me, he must. Without Shinji's comprehension, I cannot continue the war that has started and in which I am embroiled in.

It has begun. There is no turning back.

"Kao, what are you talking about? What lonely life are you leading? You have me now, I won't allow you to be unhappy!" He clutched me close to him, unwilling to let me go lest bitterness steals me into its evil embrace.

"Shin...ji..." I did not know what to say. I needed to leave. I needed to get away, yet something in his voice, the desperation was something I could not let go of. I've been waiting thousands of years for someone to hold me like this.

Please, just a little longer.

"You must never give up! Love exists all around us, it's in our hearts, waiting to blossom and bloom. The seed is already there, it's just waiting for him to come and awaken it! Believe, Kaoru, believe!"

Looking at the young lady in front of me, it seems as though she's grown so much since the last time I've seen her. Where was the little girl I was brought here to teach? She no longer needed lessons in decorum or manners, neither did she require pointers on behavior. She was already ready to take her place by her husband and her rightful position in society. My little girl...

"Yes, I will believe, one day, I will believe..."

... But not today.

"Shinji, I can't..."

Before I could say another word, he grabbed my hands gently, unyieldingly.

"No, don't say that Kao, don't! I need you... I do! I'll take over all missions, I'll fight til the last Morlock, the last Kaijis are standing, just don't say that!"

Such a strong, proud man, reduced to a wreck... because of me.

"Shinji, listen... listen to me!" I shook him as hard as I could, willing him to hear the words and understand them once and for all because I wasn't sure I have the heart to say them again.

"I... I am an Ageless. An immortal, if you will. That's why I have lived long enough to set up the agency, that is why I was never hurt during all the skirmishes we've encountered. I'm not allowed to die. I am here for a reason, left on earth by the Gods, waiting for their return to find out what my mission is. My mission is harrowing, it would require every bit of me to complete... I cannot fall in love. I will not bring you into this. Do you understand?!"

The more I spoke, the more flustered I got. I walked away from Shinji, looking everywhere else but at him while I recounted my tale. Wringing my hands in nervousness I have never felt before, I refused to break down and cry like I want to.

"Shinji, I'm still waiting... I'm waiting for the Flame who I am supposed to serve and bring to his purpose."

"No no, oh Kami, no. I... I've finally found her most beautiful smile, don't make me lose it again.... What's all this talk about immortality? You're HUMAN!!" He clenched his fists until beads of blood can be seen streaming from them; he stared in disbelief at me as though I was the one who did not understand anything.

I had to prove it to him. I know I had to... somehow.

Eyes dead set, I took my first glance into Shinji's eyes. It was time to finish this. I could not stay any longer, it was time for me to leave, this confrontation had to find its untimely death as I had a mission to attend to which required my attention.

"If you will not see, then I must make you."

Shocked left its mark on his twin coal orbs as I flinched at the pain in them. I had never used that tone on him before. Not on the one man in centuries who took the time to forge a friendship with me, that same man who put aside his fears and gave himself up to me. But I hardened myself, refusing to hurt him any further if we carried on this affair.

I love him.

But love isn't enough.

He loves me.

But I must leave.

Grabbing the knife I hid in my clothes, I drew the blade to my skin and dug it through my flesh. Despite its grotesque looking results, the blood seeping through my clothes, Shinji's gasp of horror, I felt nothing. Not the knife, not the blood, not the pain. Pulling the weapon out, I lifted my shirt.

I can never forget his face that day. The widening of his eyes, the bleak look on his face... it meant far more than just learning that immortals existed and that fairytales are facts, it meant that we could never exist. I had a mission, a purpose, while he was merely a passerby, like million others; in my life and now, it was time for him to move on.

Even as the years carry me forth, far from that day where I beheld his pain in the palm of my hand, I still feel that multitude of sorrow and regret. What would life be like if I could fully live it?

A hand shot out to stroke my face lovingly. Leaning into the warmth that I learned to cherish, I let out a sigh of contentment tinged with all the hurt that I held within myself all these years.

"Thank you." I spoke simply, knowing that he understood what I meant. He always does.

Straightening his back, Shinji looked up at me and smiled, a painful, heart-wrenching smile.

"I understand. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Shaking my head to decline, I stayed silent.

"Then... is this goodbye?"

I merely looked at him, memorizing his features, his eyes, his lips, the little scar above his eyebrow which he got playing baseball, the ear hole on his left ear that he got in his rebellious teen years and is sorely regretting now... and he knew.

With only a few steps, he closed the distance between us and crushed me in his embrace.

When I made move to struggle, he whispered tightly, hoarsely in my ear.

"Please.. one last time, Kao, ... one last time."

Relaxed, I melted into his arms for the final time before my last journey begins. His warmth seeped into my heart as I keep it there to have and to hold in times when I would need it the most.

As he released me, Shinji looked me in the eye one last time before turning away.

"I wish you all the best on your mission. May you find what you need... maybe then, we can meet once more... Kaoru."

A/N: Alright. This came very late. Very very late. Can I blame it on my muse? Bad baaad muse. I've been writing a bit on my blog as well, stuff that doesn't have anything to do with anime, so if you wish to read it, go to www.xanga.com/Io_sono_Prigioniera! Not much to say about this chapter, sadly, it's a filler chapter, awaiting the part where the journey begins.

I have strong beliefs with regard to names. If you notice, Shinji's closer to Kaoru now, so he calls her 'Kao' but towards the end, he wrenches himself emotionally away from her and thus refers to her as 'Kaoru'. Notice? Notice? Yes? No? Oh alright.

Btw, can you guess who that mystery man Kaoru is talking to, is? Guess!

This will be the last time I reply to reviewers on my chapters, I have decided to email you guys personally next time, so please leave your email addresses unless you've signed onto Fanfiction.net!

Kit-Kat and Punker Bunny: I really don't want to know the inspiration for your name! ^_^ Thanks so much for the review, I feel greatly encouraged, if I were such a review whore I'd ask you to read my other stories too. But I'm nice. lol

MissBehavin: Yo gal! I'm still waiting for your next chapter of anything that has anything to do with Saitou-sama! I'm glad that you've acknowledged the different tones, and I hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint, although I feel that it's a tad too mellow, as well as melodramatic. Can't really be helped because they can't be together! They just can't! Thanks for your reviews, no story of mine is complete with MissBehavin's words!

DragonMastersofShadows: Do email me with your ideas, I can't wait to see what you're going to come up with. Maybe then I can improve upon the story, I'm still lacking in the muse department. I strongly suspect my lazy muse is on holiday!

Alea Saikou: Thank you very much for the review! I love reading Greek mythologies especially, and fantasy books too. That would explain my fascination with legends. I also didn't really like how some stories make Kaoru the weaker one all the time. She may be inexperienced, but she more than makes up for it through her determination and strength of heart. As cliched as that sounds, despite it seeming that Kenshin saves Kaoru all the time, Kenshin's really saving himself because without Kaoru, he would've been a broken man. I just love the way they complement each other.

Wistful Eyes: Ah, one of my favourite  reviewers. When are you going to update?? Her Most Beautiful Smile comes from a background music. I was so obssessed with it that I bought the score and memorized it. -sheepish grin- I love Gackt too [heh, listening to his lastest album now] and I always think of him when I think of myths and legends because he sometimes seem so unreal. Do I make sense?? Anyway, this chapter shouldn't be too confusing, but if it is, please drop me a note and I'll try to straighten out my thoughts!

CEEGEE: Saitou won't be doing much in this story because he's only human actually. It's the mythological creatures like Kaoru and that mystery man who really isn't much of an enigma, who would be in the spotlight. But don't worry, it's the usual pairing of KK. I won't change that for the world!