Story Disclaimer: Same deal as before. What's mine is mine, what's theirs is theirs. Etc, etc.
Because 10 billion years' time is so fragile,
so ephemeral...
it arouses such a
bittersweet,
almost heartbreaking fondness.
---------
"I'm not going to die; I'm going to see if I was ever alive."
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E T E R N I T Y ' S * W A K E
A Fan Fiction by Sebayn
I was always told to make the most of every single day of my life. That life was a gift that would one day cease to be.
As time went on, much to my horror, I discovered a different truth altogether -- the fortunes of today often spell the ruins of tomorrow. The simple reality is that happiness the gift, a precious commodity that in each of our lives we were allotted a small and precious supply of. Once it was gone, that was it.
The choices in life we make, along with all the shit none of us none of us seem to be able to control, decides how and when that scarce quantity runs dry. If one is lucky they'll use it wisely and magnify its raw power by sharing it with those around them. Others go through life hiding it somewhere unobtrusive, refusing to use even a single drop and never realize what they were missing out on.
Most people don't have to worry about it at all -- they all die in time.
I'm not one of those people. Not anymore.
R I T U A L
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Three days before Golandor.....
-----
Rituals are too repetitive, I decided.
It's their nature, the very purpose of it, but all the same they bore me to tears. Sasami made the comment once that I was like a child eternally sick of Christmas. Once I had everything I wanted under the tree, what was the point?
She had said something about there being more to it, whatever the cliché of the moment was, but I had stopped listening by then.
But to my disgust I found myself back here, like every year, in this...this dive.
The walls were barren of any foreign objects, pictures, mirrors or anything that might otherwise distinguish or set them apart. A crescent shaped bar angled around the room which three, sometimes four bartenders labored behind. The stools were uncomfortable; the seats at the private tables only marginally better.
Today the bar was sparsely occupied. Two men in grubby gray jumpsuits were sitting at the bar finishing off what looked to be their 14th round judging from all the discarded empty glasses next to them. I was barely through my second. A young couple sat in the far corner conversing lightly, small giggles escaping each pair of lips much to the annoyance of the rest of us.
The lights were practically non-existent to all our liking. The dimness highlighted the only redeeming quality the place had; the large observation window stretching the distance of the lounge and opening a portal directly into the vast expanse of space.
Why did I come here?
I threw my head back and sighed in disgust.
This was torture. Every year on this same day, for the last countless centuries, I'd come here and do the same thing, with the same person and receive the same damn old lecture.
It crossed my mind for a moment if the lead bartender, the balding one with the maroon apron, remembered me. Apparently he owned the place now, the 246th such person to achieve that honor, or whatever, at least by my count. The first time I had seen him had to have been close to 70 years ago. Back then he was a short, round kid with perpetually swollen lips busing tables for meager tips.
I had never given him one. Didn't intend to start tonight.
Part of me wondered how he'd climbed so far up and managed to buy the place out. Another part me wondered why he had wasted his life in a dump like this. He reminded me vaguely of someone I knew back in Okayama.
It didn't matter though. Nothing really does.
The music that played softly in the background was irritatingly cheerful with tone that would induce headaches in even the most dedicated optimists. Most of them anyway. Not surprisingly, the doors swung open at that precise moment and in she waltz humming the same song under her breath. Right on time, just like always.
She wore her formal robes, a departure from the evening gowns and casual attire she normally choose for this event. The intricate patterns and colors weaved in and about to create a pristine and ethereal appearance Jurian royalty were renowned for.
To the untrained eye she glided, never using a muscle, straight towards me with long flowing hair fluttering majestically behind her. It was color of ocean, a shade so beautifully exotic that still I marveled at it even though it has been lifetimes since I first laid eyes on it.
"I didn't know," I scoffed sarcastically enough, "that Tsunami would be joining us tonight."
If she was hurt or fazed by the remark she hid it well, just as she tended to do. She grinned brightly, contagious thing her smile was, when stopped and stood before my table. I cowered over my drink protectively, shaking my head and only mustering a smirk back.
"Merry Christmas Tenchi," she greeted warmly, her harmonic voice making it a little too sugar sweet for my tastes.
I chuckled lightly. Try as I might, I couldn't force myself to be glumly around her. I doubt anyone could.
"What's with the robes?" I asked, proceeding with the small talk. "You've always hated wearing those things."
Not knowing every eye in the room was now resting upon her, she sat down on the seat across from me and giggled. "It is a special occasion, is it not?"
I shrugged.
"Actually, I just came from Jurai," she explained, "somehow the annual central intelligence planning meeting for the gamma sector was re-scheduled without my consent."
I cocked a grin, "It's not like you to let your agency 'run wild' like that -- what would Funaho say about that?"
She raised her hand beckoning the waiter to come. "She would probably be shocked to know I demoted the man," she laughed. The waiter came and she ordered 'what I had' to which the waiter responded, "One carrot juice coming up." I could hear her snickering faintly under her breath.
"You mean to tell me that our dear little Sasami has become hard ass?" I asked mockingly.
Her smile returned in full force again, "Serving happily as one for 525 years next week."
I frowned, "It's really been that long since you took over Funaho's duties?" I asked it more to myself than her.
Funaho had retired as head of Jurian Intelligence, along with her sister wife Misaki who held the post of captain of the Royal Bodyguards, when their husband, Emperor Azusa Jurai, had abdicated. Ayeka had ascended to the throne with her consort, a Jurian Knight named Ayato. Having no sister wife, and not wanting one, the new Empress of Jurai had needed the post filled by someone extremely trustworthy and loyal. I had considered it the coupe of a lifetime that she ever got Sasami to consider it, let alone accept.
"Sister celebrated her platinum centennial not long ago," she replied slowly, probably believing that I'd grasp the fact that the celebration itself took place a quarter century ago. "In fact, she's still very sore at you for not attending it. Along with her silver, bronze, gold and mercury centennials."
"I meant to send a card," I joked obnoxiously.
The frown that stared back at me made me cringe, not something a lot of people can make me do. The way Sasami's lips were sealed tightly and arched so gracefully downward...it wasn't an expression I liked to see on her face. Just didn't seem natural.
"How long will this go on, Tenchi?"
Here it came, I sighed as my hands shot up to massage my temples. So much for the small talk.
"Time," I sighed slowly, trying to explain it to her once more, "is accelerating -- everything is happening so fast now, Sasami. Your parent's retirement, Ayeka's son being born, all of it. It's all becoming a blur...I can't...focus anymore." I looked at her remorsefully, hoping, believing that somehow she might understand and leave me be just for once. "You know I've tried."
"You roam across the galaxy doing nothing year after year -- isolating yourself from every conceivable person you encounter! You have shut the world out -- you've shut us out damn it! Let it ago!"
The song was the same, but the beat was different.
"How can you focus," she demanded, her elegant voice cracking under the stress of raw emotion, "when you refuse to even open your own eyes, Tenchi?"
I shook my head violently. "You make it sound so simple," I said, keeping my voice low. "I can only try so many times...the pain...every waking breath I take." My voice had descended to a whisper as I leaned forward. "I see them every time I close my eyes, you know, even if it's for a moment," I confided. "I can't fight that -- I can't let go of them. I won't."
Her flushed cheeks embraced a single tear that spiraled down from her crimson eyes. I had no more tears of my own to bleed, but if there was anything I could do to have her reclaim that sparkling droplet of misery she shed, I would pay any price for it.
If only I could.
"Look at you, Sasami!" I said in exasperation. "When was the last time you went out with someone or did any fun for yourself?"
"A year ago," she mumbled, eyes trailing off in the distance.
"You talk to me about moving on with my life," I barked bitterly. "When are you going to start living yours?"
She remained silent.
"You have -- besides your sister -- the most stressful and demanding job in the universe." My voice deepened as I spouted out anything remotely able to deflect the attention away from my problems. "You're not married, never have been, never dated anyone long enough to get to the point where you could even consider it! And you're hold many millennia old are you again?"
Neither of us was hearing well tonight.
I wanted to try to enjoy her company, share a damn drink with her and just space out like for once all was right with the universe. She remained closed and detached, transfixed on the open view of space before us. I knew I had gone too far, but having traveled the distance and looked back, I had no desire to return.
"I want you to promise me something," she suddenly spoke, and for the first time in my life she looked truly ancient to me. A profound look of sadness had masked her face and for a moment I found myself staring at a complete stranger.
The merge with Tsunami, her job, cooping with me year after year, and her own affairs -- what did I know?
"Promise me," she repeated again, sincerity laced upon her words with a weight of depression, "that you'll take this gift and find a way to be happy." She reached somewhere inside her robes, her hand clutching something for the longest of moments, before pulling it out and setting a wrapped gift before me.
It was fairly thin, about the size of an 8x10 sheet of paper, but at the same time much thicker than one. The wrapping paper was an exquisite green and gold pattern with a lacey ribbon tied around it. I took it in my hands and turned it over, examining its surface and wondering what on earth could be in it.
"Open it," she urged.
Carefully I untied the ribbon and laid it next to my drink. Finding the seams of the paper I gently tugged until breaking the adhesive strip sealing it shut. Out slid a sealed folder bearing the emblem of the Jurian Intelligence Agency. I looked at it curiously, glancing up at Sasami expecting answers but finding none in her face.
In the back of my mind, a small voice urged me to put the present down and talk to her, take her by the hand and find out from her what was haunting her. Somehow, in some way the nagging voice in my head told me I could make the world right for her if I took the time to just do it.
Such impulses were now largely foreign to me, and for some reason I found myself unable to look at her.
Guilt ridden, but never manifesting that plague, I opened it. Inside there the folder were several photos and a brief report detailing where they were taken from, a planet called Altair somewhere in Houl system. They were graphic. Bodies decimated, charred limbs strewn everywhere with smoldering fragments of foliage scattered about the courtyard.
It was a massacre.
I had encountered them before; more times than I cared to remember, and witnessed the sheer destruction of it all as I looked at grizzled remains of people whose lives ended far before their time. In a perfect galaxy these things would never happen. Even with massive tree ships, fleets of Galaxy Police and Jurian energy, conquering the darker nature of reality was a thing far beyond the realm of impossible.
Why did she give me these? Why should this even concern me? Another two brutal attacks just like these had probably occurred somewhere else in the galaxy during the last few minutes we had spent talking. Flipping through them I tried to make sense of why any of this should concern me.
Until I reached the last photo and then I saw.
My jaw muscles tightened and convoluted in unspoken hatred and it occurred to me that my lungs had constricted in a way that I could no longer take a breath.
The last photo showed something I had not seen in over two thousand years. On the charred ground, next to a pile of dismembered bodies, a mark stood scrabbled out crudely in thick blood. A single eye slanted almost past recognition with three jagged ovals intoned above it.
The signet.
Sasami struggled to speak, emotion gnawing on every syllable that fled her lips, "A scan conducted on-site revealed the presence of a high level energy reaction. Most of our instruments can't even register activity of this kind. This is the second case ever recorded," she paused for a moment, clasping her hands over her breast, "You were the first."
A minute passed before I find myself able to speak. "When...where were these taken?" I asked, my breathing ragged and labored, adrenaline aching its way into every pour of my body. My eyes roamed furiously over the photo absorbing its countless details. To her, I must have looked like a deranged beast finally having the iron shackles lifted from my neck.
Sasami's own hands were clenched shut and her head lowered. "Promise me," she pleaded, her voice barely audible now.
I could hear my blood was pounding now as I gawked feverishly at her, twisting my head to an unnatural position to peer into her crimson eyes where my own demented image stared back at me. It was then I knew that I could keep such a promise. Unconsciously my hands reached out and grasped her hands firmly.
"You have my word."
"Sixteen hours ago," she whispered, nodding to herself in defeated satisfaction. "The Galaxy Police do not know yet," Sasami explained, "I've made sure of that. Jurai's own agencies have been instructed to observe and report back directly to me."
Head nodding of its own volition, I felt my lips curl upwards at the understanding of what she was doing for me.
Setting me free.
Sasami took a deep, slow breath. "A regiment of Knights is standing by to assist you."
"I don't need them," I replied gruffly.
"They are under your command," she shot back, "Only to assist directly when ordered. Keep them informed of your movements and progress so they can relay your findings to me. It's the best way to avoid garnishing Ayeka's attention. More importantly, that's the price for the last piece of intelligence I have to offer."
"There's more?" I demanded, muttering a curse under my breath afterwards.
She crossed her arms over her chest scowled at me. Sasami was always adept at the arts of blackmail, coercion and trickery, she'd been employing those skills since the day I met her. But never under these conditions.
I bit the corner of my lip to contain my frustration. Her maternal instincts had always been annoying. "Fine," I muttered, "the knights can tag along -- but only to actively participate if I deem it necessary. They will not accompany me personally nor will I slow down to allow them to keep up with me. They'll be kept in the loop only, nothing more, and nothing less."
"I'm glad we're in agreement then," she said coolly, producing a rectangular object from the expanse of her robes. It was a data stick. "As I said, the photos were taken approximately 16 hours ago. Eight hours ago the forward team on ground recorded an intrusion that, from what we can tell, made a direct flyby over the site. Their scanning equipment registered absolutely nothing, but there's no other explanation for what was audibly recorded."
I withdrew my own personal data assistant from my pocket and inserted the stick. A female voice echoed back stating the timestamp and the normal analytical information that went with it. Like very other Jurian Intelligence Agent I had ever listened to it she sounded detached and mechanical.
The main audio track began it's playback as static filled the air. A low rumbling emanated it from it next, increasing in magnitude as seconds ticked away. A howling screech filled the air, rattling the table briefly. The wailing was nightmarish and for a moment I had trouble believing what I had just heard.
"Two of our relay probes were destroyed less than four hours ago. We believe it was done in an attempt to block or delay the information from the on-site team. The analysis of the weapon that inflicted it was plasma-based with some unique properties that we know of only one ship able to produce." Sasami slowly finished the thought I had been unwilling to acknowledge, "She's back."
My mind was whirling faster and faster trying to piece together and make sense of all that I was hearing. "How big of a head start does she have?" I wondered out loud.
She shook her head, "I don't know, Tenchi. Ryo-ohki's onboard scanners last we saw of her were above average. But a ship of science was never her purpose."
"Meaning?"
"Washu has to be helping her," she decided. "That's the only logical explanation for how quickly they located and arrived on Altair. It's too much of a coincidence."
"Agreed -- but you said it was just a flyby? She didn't actually land?"
"Yes, that's right," she stated, "which means what information they needed was intercepted from us, which is entirely possible, or it's something even more disturbing..."
"What?" I asked incredulously.
"That they know things," she sighed. "Things which we do not know yet." I cringed. "The safest bet," she continued, "is to assume the latter."
The realization hit me that my options had just diminished even further. Luckily less than ten minutes ago I didn't have any options, a fact that I was strangely conscious of. The question "why now after so long?" should have been forefront in my mind. I knew this but at the same time didn't care. It was trivial.
"The blood," I gasped between clenched teeth, "whose blood was the signet drawn with?"
"A man named Kastel," she replied. "DNA tests matched it to his remains."
I held up one of the more gruesome pictures in my hand. "Who were these people?"
"It's all on the data stick," she answered wryly, "but why it was them, why there, and why it was he that that killed them is still a mystery. Background checks, genetic analysis, and a dozen other tests and still no correlation has been discovered yet."
Getting to my feet, I shrugged my jacket on with a grunt. I pocketed the data assistant and left a few credits on the table counter, enough to pay for both of our drinks.
Sasami didn't move.
From her chair, the forlorn look her face deepened. "What are you going to do, Tenchi?"
It wasn't really a question; there was only one thing to do. It was simple -- the hunt had resumed at last. Deep down inside me, mixed with the anger and vengeance, a sense of elation dwelled. After so many centuries of traveling pointlessly across the cosmos searching for something I could not find any trace of, living day by day like a nomad, I had a purpose once more. I'd be damned if a few dead ends slowed me down.
With a little luck this would be my last adventure.
"Track him down and kill him," I whispered almost gleefully to her, "you've given me enough to go on."
Her crimson eyes sparkled with tears again as she looked up at me. She had grown up too fast. Just like the rest of us. "Be careful," she chided in a meek voice that knew her words would do no good.
I sighed softly, "You know I'll do what I must." I couldn't help but smile sardonically, chuckling under my breath all the while. "Ever since we met, Sasami, you've always been there for me," I stated gratefully. "I know it hasn't been easy...but...thank you."
The last barrier collapsed entirely as the floodgates opened wide. Tears streaming down her face she lurched up and flew her arms around me. "I don't want to see you killed," she sobbed. "Revenge isn't worth it!"
We held each other, cushioned against the galaxy's woes for a brief moment in time, until gently I pulled away from her.
"To die would be a grand adventure," I spoke softly. Reaching up I wiped a few stray tears from her eyes lovingly. "It's the only one I have left."
In this life we face moments. In these singular expanses of time many options are given to us. How we treat them, more importantly what we do in them, affects the course of our lives and sometimes those around us. Sasami had shared one of these moments with me, in turn, I was doing the same with her by telling her the truth.
I had no intention of coming back from this alive. It wasn't a death wish -- but an acceptance of the price I was going to pay. The fact I had no will to live in any tangible sense of the word compounded the problem. Somehow, it always managed to.
She looked up at me absolutely stunned, but not surprised. Her mouth gapped open and her ruby eyes shimmered in anguish. Inflicting more pain on her was the last thing I ever wanted to do, but I wasn't going to lie or deceive her. Maybe after it was over...she'd be able to get on with her life without having to worry about me.
I turned to walk away, taking several steps toward the door and past the crescent-shaped bar before looking back to say goodbye, "Merry Christmas, Sasami, and thank you -- it was the best present anyone has ever given me."
Never waiting for a response, I hurried out the door and headed for my ship leaving her standing there alone in the turbulent wake of my life.