Title: Jealous Author: Makoto Sagara Archive: my site, and ff.net; anywhere else, just ask. Category: Angst Pairings: Ken + Youji, Omi + Aya Rating: PG-ish Warnings: Language, shonen ai, Ken POV

Disclaimers: Dun own anything Weiß, except my posters and DVDs. Koyasu Takehito-sama and some big Japanese companies own the rights to the series and name. I'm just using the characters for some fun. Also, I hold no claim to the song I'm Jealous of Your Cigarette by Hawksley Workman. I have no money, so suing is pointless, unless you like pocket lint. Flames are used to keep me warm, or given to Neko for her bonfires.

Dedication: This is for Duo-chan, my lovely beta, for her birthday. Happy 18th!

Thanks: To the amazing Mo-chan for beta'ing for me. To Stacy, for getting me hooked on this song, and a few others.

Symbols: ~blah~ - song lyrics *blah* - emphasized words *~*~* - change in scene

Jealous

Do you know what it's like to be jealous of something that's inanimate? Something that doesn't have feelings, thoughts, emotions, and only one purpose? Ok, so the thing's purpose isn't exactly a great one, but Youji seems to think it's more than enough, and every time I see him with it, I want to rip it away from him and take its place.

I am jealous of a cigarette. How dumb is that? But the way that Youji sucks on that slim delicate stick, I feel so hot and bothered... I want to jump him, and I wish that he would do that to me. I want to give him that ecstatic look of pure pleasure that he gets when he lights his first smoke of the day or when he's particularly stressed.

Jealous of a cigarette. Hello, I am Ken Hidaka, and I'm jealous of a cancerous cigarette. Shit. I'm pathetic.

Ok, so I'm jealous of more than just his cigarettes. I'm jealous of the women he flirts with, the way his eyes flash when a particularly beautiful woman (or man) comes into his line of vision, the way he stares after Manx at mission briefings, and just about anything or one that gets to touch him more than just casually.

I think I'm obsessed, and I have no way to adequately deal with it.

~No muscle man, no candy cane~

~No pack of sexy starving wolves~

~No money talking, moonlight walking~

~Lady shocking, big crow cocking~

~Those ladybugs can go to blazes~

~Here and there go pretty faces~

~All of this don't mess my stuffing~

~Only one thing got me huffing~

Shit, it's seven-thirty in the morning, and he comes into the kitchen with one of those damned death sticks lit, puffing away happily. And now, I stare....... He's in nothing but a deliciously short black silk robe; it barely covers his matching boxers. He hasn't noticed that anyone is watching him, even though Aya, Omi and myself are situated in random parts of the kitchen.

He shakes those long, honey-tinted locks and runs a hand through them, making them even messier. Omi has to lean over me and whisper loudly in my ear to get my attention. I shake my head, blush, and mutter something about not being awake and more coffee. Nicely done, Ken. Bet he thinks you're an idiot now.

No, he just laughs deeply, flicks ashes into the ever-present ashtray, and goes to get his own coffee, asking me if I want another cup. I nod mutely and turn my head; anything to avoid having to look at Youji in his barely dressed state or the slim cigarette as it hangs lightly from his firm, full lips. The things my mind imagines about those lips

And suddenly, it becomes a bit too hot to be in the kitchen anymore. I leave and stand out on the balcony, letting the cool January air calm me down, and hopefully let my head clear out of anything that I don't really want to share with anyone else...

Well, that's not *entirely* true, but you understand what I'm saying, right?

~I'm jealous of your cigarette~

~And all the things you do with it~

~I'm jealous of your cigarette~

~And the pleasure that you get from it~

~And not me~

~All this time your talking no~

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ok, it's now about noon. Omi's away at school, and the rest of us are dealing with the flower shop that serves as our cover. Looking at us, you'd never imagine that we are responsible for the 'mysterious' deaths of all the corrupt politicians, rotten business men, and leaders of drug/slave/guns/etc rings. But, we are, and we do our jobs, both of them, to the best of our abilities.

In a few short hours, I will have to share Youji with more than just Aya and Obaba-san[1]. I don't want school to end, although having Omi around will make it a little easier for me to concentrate on the 'work' I'm supposed to be doing.

"Ken!" Aya's deep voice snaps me from my thoughts, and I realize that I have just succeeded in over-watering a brand new fern. Kuso... it's totally useless now. In a matter of time, it will die, even if I try to drain all the water from it.

Great going, dork. You've just let Youji, *and* Aya, know what a complete and utter idiot you are. Why not do something else dumb? Like blurt out all the dirty things you'd like to do with Youji every time he lights up his cigarettes? Or tell Aya that he might have friends if he'd remove the stick from up his ass? Or take Omi out, get him drunk and then shove him in Aya's room.

Okay, the last two are no good. If I did either, then I'd be the jerk with no friends.

"Hey, Aya, it's time for my break, and I'd like to take Ken-ken outside to talk," Youji says casually, and I'm frozen to the spot I'm standing in. He... wants to *talk* to me? What the hell? "That cool?"

"Eto... fine. Just don't take too long," Aya says, his voice faltering in the usual chill he gives Youji.

A dismissive wave from Youji to Aya, and soon, I'm being led out the side door of the shop and into the alleyway where my motorcycle is parked. It's looking a little grimy from the deliveries I made this morning. I think I need to give it a nice washing tonight after the shop closes. Yes, that's the plan. I'll clean my bike, and then go on a *very* long drive to unwind.

My thoughts are taken from my bike back to Youji as soon as he lights up a cigarette.

~No king, no prince with gold ring pinky~

~I suggest that we do something kinky~

~No pilot flying private plane~

~To smooch you on the hills of Spain~

~No catapult to all night kisses~

~That old thing just always misses~

~All of this don't mess my stuffing~

~Only one thing got me huffing~

He takes a long drag from the cylindrical object in his hand, and breathes out a large cloud of nasty smoke. I am staring, mesmerized, at the look of pure satisfaction that has crossed my team mate's face.

"So, Ken, what's up with you recently? You're acting like a zombie one minute and a hormone crazed teenager the next," he says, fixing me with a look that makes my knees feel like they are made out of putty.

"B-betsuni... H-honto ni..." I stutter out. I sound like an idiot. I know I do, but my mouth isn't working as fast as I would like it.

"Bull," he calmly states, taking another puff from his little friend. "In my opinion, Ken, you need to get laid."

I almost faint as he says that. I can't believe he just said that I needed to get laid. If he had *any* inkling of what my mind was processing at the moment, he'd be sick to his stomach. He'd never talk to me again; I'm sure of it.

"Y-you're kidding, right?" I ask.

"No. And if you ever need any help, you know where to look." He winks, drops his cigarette butt, steps on it, and walks back into the shop. I stare at the discarded, misshapen, and forgotten butt, and I hate it even more. Even though he dropped it when he was done with it, another one will be there to take its place the next time he wants one.

Just like all the women he dates.

~I'm jealous of your cigarette~

~And all the things you do with it~

~I'm jealous of your cigarette~

~And how you wanna suck on it~

~And not me~

~All this time your talking no~

They may be discarded, but at least they get to share some time with sexy, undeniable, charismatic, and unobtainable Kudou Youji. Unlike me.

I hate them. All of them. They get a few moments of his time, and I get to watch him with them. All of them.

Then, I think about what he said before he left me standing here, looking like the idiot I am. "If I ever need any help.... I know where to look?" I think over that one sentence and the wink that followed it. "Was.... Was that an offer, Youji?"

"Maybe it was, Ken-ken."

~All this time your talking no~

I blush, but still stare at the cigarette butt on the ground in front of my feet. Even though he might be serious, I can't think of anything to say to that.

"Come inside, before Aya has a coronary and we're stuck dealing with Omi- kun after he finds out about it," Youji says, his footsteps disappearing into the distance.

And the cigarette butt just lays there. Maybe it should be jealous of me.....

~I'm jealous of your cigarette~

Notes:

[1] Obaba-san – Japanese, "grandmother; old woman"