A/N : Finally got around to this fic again, I tell you, it's not so easy writing three fics at once! I know, I know, it was my choice, but I never realised how much work it was gonna be! Still, your kind reviews make it all worthwhile, so thanx to those who reviewed chapter 6; SouthernRain, CeriCherry, SweetBitter, tinkerbell42 - you made me smile :-) Not so much with the Spike or the Spuffy this chapter, but have faith cos next chapter is all planned out and I think you're gonna like it a whole lot ;-) Also, quick note to SpIkEs AnGeL - I've updated this fic so you owe me Spike for the night! Hope you all like this chapter - please review!

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 7 - The Morning After

It was the morning after the night before, and Buffy didn't feel at all how she expected to. Where was the hangover she was told everyone got after a wild night? Where was the tiredness from lack of sleep and the wishing she were dead from over consumption of alcohol and memories of stupid things she'd said or done? She had none of that, but she had a few other things she hadn't been expecting.

Feelings, and strong ones, that she'd never felt before, but was feeling right now as she lay in her bed and thought of Spike. It wasn't just that he was gorgeous, although it helped a great deal, it was also the way he spoke, the way he acted, the way he treated her and...there was something else that Buffy didn't have a word for, a quality or an essence that just made him special.

Just a few hours in his company and Buffy knew she liked him, and too much, considering the fact she would never see him again. She'd told him she would but known it was a lie as soon as the words spilled from her mouth. One night out like that was risky enough, she was not going to do it again, but God how she wanted to!

It wasn't just about the clothes or the drinking or the thumping music, it was the freedom, the glorious feeling of knowing that you weren't being judged, your reputation was not being tainted and the night was yours. No-one knew who she was, except for those couple of drunk gang members and Buffy was pretty sure they wouldn't remember much in the morning, and she'd revelled in the fact she could be whoever she wanted to be.

When she was at the Bronze, drinking and talking with Spike, helping to beat the crap out of the low lifes of Sunnydale, she wasn't Elizabeth Summers, she wasn't daughter of Lady Joyce, or possible future life partner of the youngest Mr O'Connor, she was just Buffy, plain and simple, and she liked that person much better than the princess-type she was supposed to be.

It had seemed that Spike liked Buffy too, and again guilt crept over her as she remembered how she'd lied to him, more than once in fact. The biggest lie was the 'I'll see you again' lie, but she'd had to tell half truths before that. She couldn't tell him her surname or where she lived or anything, but then he didn't ask and she realised that other than the nickname 'Spike' she had no idea what his name was either, or where he lived or who is family was, and what's more she didn't care!

A knock on her door brought her out of her daydream and she wondered who'd be tapping on her door at, she glanced at the clock, nine fifteen on a Saturday morning.

"Who is it?" she called and the door came open a crack, a red-head peering around and into the room.

"It's me" Willow smiled, "I just thought I'd come say hi and see if you were okay..." she trailed off as she stepped into the room.

"You came because you wanted to know about last night" Buffy guessed with a grin, and her friends shy nod told her she was right.

"Was it wonderful?" the housekeepers daughter was eager to know, and Buffy sighed as she gestured for her friend to come take a seat on the bed with her.

"Will, it was amazing and he was the most amazing thing of all..." she thought dreamily of Spike and her friend frowned a little not knowing who she was speaking of.

"He?" she asked with a questioning look and Buffy blushed as she realised she had to explain it all to her best friend.

"There was this guy, I don't even know his real name, but he said to call him Spike, Will, he's so gorgeous"

From then Willow wanted to know every detail of Buffy's night, including every single thing there was to know about this Spike person. The expression on the red-head's face shifted from surprise at Buffy's drinking, to complete and utter shock at the fighting. A huge smile appeared as Buffy's narrative covered more romantic moments, but a frown was elicited by the final lie...

"But you can't see him again Buffy, can you?" she asked the girl who had since gotten out of bed and put on some of her regular clothes and was now working on her hair.

"I guess not" the blonde shrugged as she forced her hairback into the hairband she held on her wrist, "but I wish I could..." she trailed off.

"Buffy" Willow warned her friend, "this was supposed to be a one time thing"

"I know" came Buffy's immediate reply as she turned to sit on the bed beside her friend again, "and I mean, it's not like I even know this guy properly but I just...I get this feeling when I think about it and even more when I was with him, Will it's just different to anything else I ever felt before"

"But what about Angel?" Willow frowned, as did Buffy when reality hit home and she remembered her boyfriend. Angel was good looking and she'd always thought so, even now she saw it but comparing him to Spike, he was nothing more than a little above average. Angel made her laugh, Spike made her fall of the chair in hysterics. Angel kissed her and it gave her a warm feeling inside, Spike only had to look at her a certain way and it felt like an electric current shot all the way through her body. It came down to the fact that Angel was nice but Spike was nicer, way nicer.

"I like Angel, I do" Buffy told her friend sincerely, "but Spike's just different...in one night of talking and drinking and stuff, he made me feel more special and more alive than all my dates with Angel in the past two years put together.

"Wow" Willow gasped, "He really must be special"

"He is" Buffy grinned, her dreamy thoughts soon interrupted by Willow who wanted to know how the night ended.

"So after you said goodbye to Spike, what happened next?"

"Xander brought me home" Buffy answered, before realising she really should go and see if he was okay, "Cordelia's been cheating on him and he was driving around...I hope he's okay, I should go see"

"He was upset?" Willow asked as her friend got up and made for the door.

"A little" the blonde told her, "he got a call from Aura last night telling him Cordy's been kissing on another guy"

"That's awful" the red-head gasped, not wholly shocked by Miss Chase's behaviour, and a little pleased that the master of the house no longer had a girlfriend. Not that it would do the house-keepers daughter much good, what chance did she stand with such a man as Alexander Summers. Without realising it a small smile came to her lips as she imagined a perfect scene, Xander admitting his true love for her now that his precious Cordelia was out of the picture.

"Willow?" Buffy came back to her friends side, questioning her grin, "You wouldn't happen to be glad that Xander's girlfriend is a cheater, would you?"

"Of course not" Willow snapped, "I don't want him to be all heart broken, not for anything in the world"

"But you wouldn't mind him being single" Buffy grinned as she spoke matter-of-factly, "or possibly dating you?"

Willow had to smile, knowing how right her friend was.

"He'd never date me" she said, somewhat sadly, her smile quickly turning to a sad frown, her eyes staring down at the floor.

"Hey" Buffy crouched in front of her friend and made her look at her, "There is nothing wrong with you Will, you are a great friend and a beautiful girl and my brother could do a whole lot worse" she assured her, "in fact he did, when he started dating Cordy"

"I wish I didn't love him like I do" Willow told her friend, tears appearing in her eyes, "but I can't help it, I just, I love him so much"

Buffy smiled sadly, finally understanding what her best friend was going through. It must be tough to love someone that, realistically, you could probably never hope to have, she had always thought so but up til now she never realised just how awful the feeling was.

Elizabeth had wanted for nothing in her life, except for that little bit of freedom which she had gained the night before, and now she wanted so many things. One in particular, was much the same as Willow. She wanted the love of a man she knew she could probably never have, and even if, by some huge miracle, Spike did care for Buffy, she knew she would never be able to see him again.

In that she counted herself somewhat grateful, at least the temptation was not in front of her everyday, not like for Willow. The poor girl had to see Xander all the time, talk to him, live in the same house as him, work for him in a sense, and he saw her as nothing more than the house keepers daughter and his sister's secret friend. Even if he saw her as more, he'd doubtless keep quiet about it, his mothers reaction would be catastrophic if her son wanted to date a 'servant'.

"What are we gonna do?" Buffy sighed and Willow shook her head that she didn't know, "Both in love with the unsuitable guys" the blonde sighed again and Willow looked up fast.

"You're in love with Spike?" she asked, quite shocked that it could happen so fast.

"I think I must be" Buffy admitted honesty, "Will, I just can't imagine not seeing him again, it's too painful"

"But surely, given time, you can put him out of your head" the red-head offered.

"Could you ever put Xander out of yours?" the blonde countered, "Even if you didn't see him everyday?"

Another shake of Willow's head meant the answer that Buffy already knew, no she couldn't.

Buffy glanced at the clock and, noticing it was past twelve o'clock, told her friend that maybe they should get downstairs, Buffy to find her mother and Xander, Willow to find her own mother and help with the household duties.

The girls promised to find each other later and continue their talk, both wishing that maybe the other could come up with a solution to their problems before they met up again, knowing in their hearts it would be impossible. A high class guy like Xander would never be interested in Willow, and Buffy would never be able to escape to see Spike again, that was the awful truth they both must face...

"Hey Xan" Buffy called as she found her twin in the second living room, "how're you feeling today?"

"Kinda numb" he admitted as she came to sit with him, "You?"

"Little disorientated about life right now" his far from identical twin told him, both of them falling quickly into silence after that.

"Mom still sleeping?" Xander asked eventually.

"I guess" came his sisters response, "she drank a lot last night, right?"

"Half her body weight in vodka" Xander said bitterly, "I swear she wasn't like this before"

"She wasn't" Buffy assured him, "When dad..." she meant to say died but always hated the word, "when we lost dad" she said instead, "It knocked her for a loop"

"Guess that's what love does" Xander nodded, before laughing humourlessly "makes you think..." there was a long pause before he finished his sentence, "I don't feel it Buffy"

His sister frowned as she looked over at him.

"Don't feel what?"

"Love" he told her, not looking at her face but studying the arm of the sofa instead, "I don't think I love Cordelia, I'm starting to wonder if I ever did...it should hurt but, apart from my embarrassment that I didn't notice, it really doesn't...what if I can't love?"

"Xander" Buffy said slowly, her hand on his arm to get his attention, "you love me right?"

"Sure" he nodded immediately, "but that's like sister-love, I'm talking about love-love" he explained quite badly, "I've never...I mean, I don't feel like that about Cordelia or anybody, I don't think..."

"Doesn't mean you can't just cos you don't right now" Buffy told him, she'd always been like the older more sensible member of the twin-ship, Xander being the more childish half, "Believe me, when you do find real love, you'll know" she said wisely.

"Like you have with Angel?" he asked her with a tilt of his head.

"Yeah" she nodded, the look on her face making her answer unconvincing to her brother, but he didn't say anything, not knowing yet what to make of it.

To Be Continued...

[Coming soon : Trouble With Boys - Chapter 8 - Research, Reactions, and Remorse]