A/N : Another fairly long chapter, hope you like it. Thanx to everyone who reviewed; CeriCherry, JnR 4eva, DiStUrBeD-GuRl*57, RoboShiflo, SpIkEs AnGeL, ms trick, luvin-echo16, SouthernRain, DarkAngel465, Jenny, SweetBitter, tinysusy. I'm so proud that you all like this fic. Can't believe I almost made some of you cry though! Here's the next chapter...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 9 - Kiss & Don't Always Tell

It was getting late and Spike noticed that Buffy was looking at her watch a lot more often than she was at him right now. The three words he was dreading came all too soon.

"I should go" the girl on the stool opposite said half heartedly, obviously she didn't want to go so why did she insist on it? That question bothered him, but not half as much as why did he care? Somehow in the space of two nights, just a few hours on two occasions, this girl had made him fall head over heels for her.

"It's only a little past midnight" he told her, knowing it would do no good.

"I know" she smiled at his attempts to make her stay as he stood and moved closer to her, he tried to kiss her but she knew she'd never leave if she let him so she turned her head and instead he worked on her neck which wasn't any less distracting "I don't wanna leave but..."

"Then stay a bit longer" he begged between kisses "You're car won't turn into a pumpkin, will it?" he smirked and she giggled at that.

"Maybe" she shrugged "it's my brothers car so anything could happen"

"Then let's hope it does" Spike whispered in her ear before moving to look into her eyes "then you really can't leave" he added before capturing her lips and it was several minutes before they came up for air.

"Spike, I have to go" she told him sadly, her arms around his neck now as he held her by the waist. Finally he conceded that maybe she did have to leave, but still he didn't let go of her.

"Will you be here again tomorrow night?" he wanted to know and despite the fact she knew she was an idiot, Buffy didn't say no.

"I don't know, maybe" as she spoke, Spike moved away, just as far as the bar and Buffy watched his back until he turned to face her again.

"Here" he said, holding something out to her, his phone number she soon realised "if you ever want to get a hold of me" he shrugged like he wasn't sure if he'd just done something smart or incredibly stupid.

'If I ever want to get a hold of him?' Buffy said inside her head, 'Oh, if he only knew how much of a hold I'd like to get on him...'

"Thanks" she blushed at her own thoughts that were rapidly getting more and more inappropriate for the daughter of a Lady.

Spike smiled when he realised his thought had been less stupid than he originally suspected, and who knows, maybe she'd even call him, maybe he would see her again, although why he cared so much still bothered him and the chances anything serious would ever happen with this girl was unlikely but right now, all he wanted to do was kiss her. He went with what he felt and soon had her breathless again, but he knew he really would have to let her go now.

"See ya" she smiled, slipping from his arms and heading for the door.

"Yeah, see ya" he said to the empty space she left as she walked away, as he prayed to all the powers that be that he really would see her again, and soon.

"Will? Willow?" Buffy whispered as she came looking for her friend. When the red-haired girl had not been in her room, her friend had been at a loss as to know where to look. It then occurred to her to check the places the two often hid for their secret conversations; the large store room, the hall behind the kitchens, the basement steps...

"Will?"

"Oh my Goddess" Willow gasped as she heard her friends voice. Not two seconds ago her lips had been locked firmly to Xander's but the sound of his sisters voice and footsteps broke the magic and Willow ran up the steps to find Buffy at the top.

"Hey Will, what are you doing down there?" the blonde smiled as her friend emerged. Willow stumbled on her answer until Xander appeared beside the two girls.

"Talking to me" he told his sister and Buffy pulled her insufficient jacket around herself. There was no way of course that she was ever doing to hide what she was, or more accurately wasn't, wearing.

"Xander!" she gasped, partly because Xander had been down in the basement with Willow, but mostly because he'd caught her after another night out that she shouldn't have had.

"What are you...?" he began before exploding as loud as he dared "Did you go to the Bronze again?"

"What?" Buffy did her best to looked shocked and innocent, but failed miserably "No, I just...yes, okay" she sighed in defeat "but keep it down, if Mom finds out I'm dead"

"You'll be more than dead if she sees you in that outfit" Xander hissed "what the hell were you thinking?"

Anger flashed in the blonde's eyes, how dare her twin talk to her like this? He was not her father and besides she was old enough to make her own decisions!

"I was thinking that I hate this house and my life and I just wanted a little fun" she said angrily, still trying to stay quiet and not wake anyone up. She sighed and pleaded to her brothers understanding "Don't you ever do things on the spur of the moment? Do things never just happen to you?"

Xander's eyes briefly met Willow's and he felt too guilty and confused with the feelings to stay mad at his sister for just wanting a little fun. Their lives were pretty oppressed after all, and he wasn't perfect so why should he expect Buffy to be.

"I...I guess I shouldn't be so hard on you" he conceded "if you were just having fun. But I worry about you sis" he put a brotherly arm over her shoulders and squeezed and she couldn't help but smile.

"I know, and I love that you do, but I can take care of myself" she assured him as Willow shuffled uncomfortably and wished she could run away right now.

"Willow?!" came a half-yell and the red-head was almost glad to hear her mothers angry tone.

"Oh shoot. If Mom finds me here with you..." she began, turning to run down the corridor, but unsure as to whether she should or not.

"Go!" Buffy urged her, not wanting her friend to get into trouble "We'll talk in the morning"

With a quick smile and a look at Xander, the housekeepers daughter hurried back to her bedroom, hoping she made it before her mother caught her.

"So, did you have a good time tonight?" Xander asked as he walked with Buffy, from the bottom of the house to the top.

"Yeah, very good" she smiled as she thought of Spike, the talking, the dancing, and most importantly the kissing.

"But you're not seriously going to keep doing this are you?" Xander frowned, worried for his sisters welfare despite her claims to be able to take care of herself "How did you get to the Bronze anyway, you don't have a car?" he made a sudden realisation, as the siblings ascended the final flight of stairs to the floor on which they both slept.

Buffy was silent as she scaled two and three stairs at a time to try to get away from her brother, not an easy task when silence is necessary.

"You stole my car!" he gasped, possibly a little too loudly and Buffy shushed him as they reached the landing.

"I didn't steal your car" she hissed "I borrowed it and hey, why don't you yell a little louder, I think the people sleeping on the twelfth floor didn't quite hear you" she added, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"We don't have a twelfth floor Buff" Xander half-smiled at her exaggeration and she sighed with exasperation.

"It's an expression, okay?" she told him with a shake of her head, hoping now she would get the opportunity to change the subject off her deceptions "Anyway, how was your night? You spend the whole time moping about Cordy"

"Actually, I..." Xander was about to tell her everything when he realised maybe not such a good plan "yeah, mostly just moping" he half-lied, studying his shoes as they arrived outside Buffy's bedroom door.

"You okay?" she asked trying to meet his eyes as he continued to look down.

"Of course" he gave her a tight smile as he looked up "why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know..." she shook her head lightly, a slight frown on her features, something was wrong she just wished she knew what, Xander never kept secrets from her "well, I guess I'll see you in the morning" she yawned, deciding she'd figure out her brother tomorrow, right now she was just too tired.

"Yeah. Sleep tight sis" Xander kissed her forehead and headed down the hall to his own room, both siblings soon drifted off to sleep with memories of sweet kisses on their minds.

"Oh Will, it was incredible" Buffy raved to her friend, late the next morning, as the girls sat cross legged across from each other on some boxes in a large store room in the house "I felt so bad about it all cos I knew I couldn't be with him and then...oh God when he kissed me it was like...wow" Buffy explained somewhat illiterately, but Willow took in every gasp and joyful smile from her friend, glad she was so happy, her mind also flipping back to last night and her own kissing experiences.

"I know what you mean" she sighed as she thought how 'wow' it had felt when Xander brought his lips to hers, she'd been in heavan for those few minutes.

"You do?" Buffy frowned a little. She loved Willow like a sister and she didn't want to say it out loud, but she knew Willow could have no idea what she was talking about, the red-head had never been kissed like that! She'd never even had a boyfriend, not even a date!

"Oh, well, I can imagine" Willow shrugged, trying to cover. She could have just told Buffy that she'd kissed Xander last night, the blonde already knew how much she liked him, but something stopped her just as it had stopped Xander the night before. The feelings Willow had now were already confused and she had an awful feeling that Xander may well be regretting his actions by now...

"I doubt it" Buffy sighed as she stared off into space and tried to put into words the feelings that Spike could invoke within her "It was like flying and drowning and all at the same time. He's so gorgeous and he makes me feel so amazingly alive, I can't even describe it properly" she giggled to herself, until she noticed Willow's serious expression.

"Not to burst your bubble" the slightly younger girl said nervously "but what about Angel and your life?"

"I don't love Angel" Buffy said matter-of-factly "I mean, he's a nice guy and I care about him but it's just not the same" she shook her head "As for my life, I just don't care Will, so long as Spike is in it" she said in an almost dreamy tone, the voice of a girl who was falling head over heels in love.

"But he can't be, can he?" Willow's frown deepened as she posed her question and she felt awful as Buffy's smile crumbled. The blonde opened her mouth to speak but no words come out. She'd just been forced to look at the big and very realistic picture and it wasn't as pretty and simple as she would have liked.

"I'm sorry to bring you down sweetie" the red-head tried to smile, putting her hand on her friends arm.

"But I have to be realistic" she nodded, understanding but wishing she didn't "I know"

"When you left, what did you tell him?" Willow asked her curiously "I mean, did you say you'd see him again?"

"I said 'maybe'" Buffy admitted as she looked at her fidgeting hands in her lap "and as much as my head is telling me I shouldn't, my heart wants me to go back again" she explained, looking up again "in fact it never wanted me to leave" she laughed humourlessly, as she realised staying was never going to be an option, Spike would never be an option, not long-term.

"Oh boy, you're in deep" Willow smiled sadly at her friend who sighed and nodded in agreement.

"Don't I know it" she said "Part of me wishes I'd never met Spike, and another part is so glad I did because, because he's just so..."

"Indescribable?" Willow almost laughed and Buffy smiled too now.

"Seems that way..." she trailed off, deciding to move the conversation away from herself and Spike for a while, it was only making her miserable anyway "hey, how come you were down the basement with Xander?"

"We were...talking" Willow explained, taking her turn at looking at her hands in her lap instead of across at her friends.

"About me?" Buffy wondered, unable to think of many topics her best friend and her brother would have in common.

"Some about you, some about other stuff" Willow shrugged "I was keeping him busy so he'd stop wondering where you were, just like you asked me too" she defended her actions just in case Buffy guessed what really happened, though she doubted she would ever think something like that could happen, Willow had only dreamt such things herself, she never expected them to be reality one day.

"Thanks Will" Buffy smiled, moving to hug her friend "even though it didn't do any good, I appreciate it. Actually, I should probably go talk to him" she realised, standing up and heading for the door "about the 'big secret'" she air-quoted.

"There's no big secret, we, I mean, he doesn't have a secret, I don't think, as far as I know he doesn't, I..." Willow rambled madly, all of a sudden afraid that Buffy knew about the kissing...

"My secret, Willow" Buffy explained with a puzzled look "I need to make sure he's not going to spill to Mom"

"Oh, of course, right" the red-head smiled and inwardly sighed with great relief "you should totally go an do that twin talk thing"

"I will" Buffy nodded slowly as she opened the door "I'll see you later okay?"

"Great, fine, okay, great" Willow said too fast and her friend gave her a strange look as she left the room. Something weird was definitely going on.

Buffy found Xander practising pool in one of the games rooms.

"Hey" she said with a smile as she came in.

"Hey" he replied, glancing at her, then bringing his eyes back to the shot he was lining up.

"You okay?" she asked with a tilt of her head as he potted the red ball into the corner pocket, as planned.

"I guess" he shrugged as he straightened up "You?"

"Y'know" she shrugged to as she gave her vague answer and watched as her brother moved around the table to line up the next shot "Er, about last night.." Buffy began and immediately Xander forgot how to play pool and concentrated fully on his sister "What about last night? Nothing happened last night"

"Yes it did" Buffy told him "I snuck out to the Bronze dressed, and I quote, 'like a cheapo whore from Slutsville', remember?"

Xander almost laughed at his own words, maybe they had been a little strong, but last night had been a little too weird and confusing, all in all.

"Maybe I over-reacted just a little" he admitted, putting the pool cue back where it belonged "but you're my sister and I don't like the thought of you putting yourself in danger"

"I wasn't in danger" she assured him but still he wasn't convinced.

"Dressed like that?" he reminded her "Alone? In the bad part of town?"

"I wasn't alone..." she said immediately, before realising she couldn't really explain Spike to her brother "I mean, there were a whole lot of people there, and really Xander, I know how to take care of myself" she repeated what she had already told him the night before.

"I know..." he nodded that he understood and Buffy took his silence as an opportunity to do a little digging about Willow.

"Oh, not that I'm trying to change the subject or anything but did something happen last night, with you and Willow" she asked straight-out.

"Er, no" her brother shook his head, pushing a couple of stray balls on the table into the nearest pockets with his hand "we just talked is all" he shrugged, not looking at his sister "Have you talked to her today?"

"Yeah, she said you just talked" Buffy told him, watching his expression intently but it didn't change.

"Then why ask me?" he wondered aloud, finally looking at her again, as his mind whirled. If Willow hadn't admitting kissing him, he wasn't going to admit to kissing her either. Maybe she wanted to forget it? Maybe he did too, right now he wasn't sure...

"I dunno" Buffy shrugged her shoulders as she headed toward the door to leave the room again, her thoughts all of a muddle. Feelings for Spike clouded her head, she had to deal with Angel, and something weird was definitely going on with Willow and Xander. With all the uncertainties, there was just one solid fact she was certain of, she was going to see Spike again soon, she had something to tell him - she was a girl in love.

To Be Continued...

~~ Next update will be Trouble With Boys! Chapter 10 will be called 'How It Should Be', look out for that soon...I think you're gonna like it a lot :-) ~~