Chapter Seven

Spoilers: Piolet, He Saw, She Saw, AYNOHYEB, Fall Out, The Bus, and Revelations.

A/N: Sorry it took so long, but I was looking for some transcripts from Season Two.

Falling.

Samantha was beginning not to enjoy that feeling to much anymore. How many more times was she going to be falling? She used to use that word, falling, whenever she was around Jack. Whenever they were together. When it was over, and she caught his eyes, when they share a look, a memory. Samantha would fall. She had always connected that feeling with Jack.

Just as abruptly as it had began, Sam stopped falling, and her feet connected with solid ground. Well at least that is what she thought it was at first, but as her knees buckled out from under her and she began to fall again, she soon realized that she had fallen on to a bed. Being curious to where she was, Sam sat up and looked around, and that is when she saw her.

"If you are going to sit on my bed, you could at least take off your shoes," said the voice.

"That voice," thought Samantha. "I know that voice. That is the voice that has haunted me over the years...Annie Miller."

"Come on! I said shoes off!" Samantha just sat there is awe. "Yes, it is me Samantha. You can close your mouth now," said Annie as she turned away from her computer to face Sam.

"Annie," said Samantha getting up to stand next to her. "How did you know who I was?"

"Well I have been watching you life, like you watched mine," replied Annie.

"Watching my life?"

"Yes, and I have made you a movie. You wanna see it?" she asked.

"Yes, I would," said Samantha.

"Then lets get this show on the road. Here," she said pointing to a chair. "Have a seat we might be here for a while." Samantha sat and looked to the computer screen. With just a few clicks on the screen Annie had pulled up a movie that she had labeled "Samantha".

Opening the file Annie turned to Sam and asked her if she was ready for this. Getting a nod in return Annie hit play, and they were transported back into the life of Samantha Spade Malone.

Samantha see's herself walking on to the screen approaching a dazed Jack.

"Think a fresh change of clothes will make up for a lost night's sleep?" she asks.

Jack just looks up at her, with an adoring look on his face. "Well, if I looked as good as you in black, I wouldn't need to change." Giving her the look.

"Jack... you collar," she says and she moves to fix it.

"Your starting to sound like my wife," he says as he takes off his glasses to rub his eyes.

"You should listen to your wife," she shots back.

"You do this for Doctor Fred?"

"Sure."

"How is Doctor Fred?" he questions, unable to hide the sound of a unasked challenge.

But she knows how to get him. Leaning closely into his ear she says, "Busy and unavailable. Just the way that I like 'em." And she knows that she has him hooked.

As Samantha watched herself on the screen she couldn't help but smile at the way they had acted around each other. Together they were so comfortable, they knew how to read one another, and they fed off of one another. As she watched the rest of the scene unfold she couldn't help but sniffle at the thought of not being able to be with him, or near him at the moment. She hadn't really thought about it until then, how much she missed Jack, and her life. How much she missed being able to talk to him, be able to cling on to him, able to kiss him. Sam felt the longing that she had a long time ago filled, when she accepted Jack's invitation to diner, there first official date as a couple.

And then the screen flashed, and Samantha was shown images that she at the time felt that there were reasons for. She and Jack were walking down the street to their car, just coming from interviewing the husband in his missing wife's case. They were debating back and forth about what they thought was going on, where this case was really leading, and how they hoped that they wouldn't have to drudge up any secrets between the husband and wife. But Sam, who had played this scene over and over in her head after that day, knew what was coming up.

"Money... another woman... revenge..." said Jack looking down at the ground to avoid the cold air being thrown into his face.

"Call me old-fashioned but when a marriage isn't working divorce is probably the answer," she said. She hit herself for realizing what she had said later on, but how can you stay attached when you are standing next to the man you love, who has a wife, who has a family, and are talking about the fact that your missing person just might be having an affair. How can you not allow your mind look back and remember those times?

Then there was another flash.

"State your name, please," said Vivian.

"Francis Appleton," replied Samantha, speaking extremely clearly so that the tape recorder would be able to pick up her voice.

"And you're a patient of Dr. Aaron Morrison?"

"Yes that's right. He was my therapist."

"You say you were with Dr. Aaron Morrison between 8:00 and midnight on Tuesday."

"We were at my apartment," Samantha said with a smirk getting way to in to this. The look upon her face was one of pure fun.

"Am I to take it that you were having sexual relations?" asked Vivian.

"I hardly think that's relevant," said Samantha.

Sitting there Samantha wore a smirk on her face. She remembered that tape conversation so well, it had broken the case. But she was speaking from that the feelings that she had inside. She was unable to hide the fact that she was getting more into the part and feelings of Samantha Spade and not playing the part of Francis Appleton. Having blanked out Samantha only caught the ending of the conversation.

"Yes, we were sleeping together," said Samantha. Ha, now we were in the feelings of Samantha Spade. The secret part of her life, that no one was allowed to know about.

"And how long have you been sleeping together?" questioned Vivian.

"About six months," said Samantha. "A little over a year," she thought.

"Where did you meet?"

"I was a patient of his."

"And you knew he was married," asked Vivian. "I knew, he knew. That didn't stop the attraction. That couldn't stop us from the affair. Nothing could."

"Go ahead and judge me if you want but you have no idea what a shrew his wife is. He's only with her out of convenience or laziness. He's going to leave her," said Samantha. "No, he stayed with his wife because of his daughters."

The computer screen flashes, and then goes black.

"You sure you want to keep going?" asked Annie.

Samantha just looked at her. Weighting her two choices she decided that she should see what else Annie would show her. In her own little twisted way she wanted to know more about her life from this view. From someone else watching on. But she couldn't help but have the feeling that she was spying on someone, or in this case herself. The feeling that she should not be seeing all of this.

"Yes, I want to know what I was like from the view of the person looking in. I want to know what people see when they see me, and I want to know what other moments you have deemed important in my life."

"Okay then," said Annie. And the computer screen burst to life again.

But this time Samantha did not see a clips of a scenes from her life. There were random pictures floating over the screen, when she turned to Annie to question her, Annie just laid her hand over Samantha's and held her other hand to her mouth to single for her to stay quite.

All across the screen were pictures, still images of the memory that haunted her for long after. On the screen were the pictures of her and her friends encounters with Jason Farrell, that pencil pushing pisswad, as Jack had once called him, when he thought that he knew about their affair.

Then the screen stopped, and Samantha turned to look at Annie, but she was still watching the screen, so Samantha turned to continue watching.

"You were right you know," said Samantha.

"About what?" asked Jack.

"It was dumb to lie to Farrell," said Sam leaning into Jack.

"Not a dumb as what I just did in there. I think I let a killer walk free, and I lost my job all in one hit," said Jack while toying with her hair.

"You know, when Farrell asked me about us, my instinct was to tell him the truth... because it's been really hard for me not telling anyone, ... being around you all the time and pretending like nothing ever happened, you know?"

"I know."

"I don't think I was lying to save you. I think, in that moment, I though maybe... if I say this, if everyone knows, then it really will be over." Looking at Jack in the eye she continues. "It is over, isn't it."

Jack looking all around Samantha's face avoiding her eyes, and then finally catching them. "Yeah, it's over."

And Samantha's heart broke all over again. That day had to be one of the worst that she had lived in all her years. Jack Malone, the man she loved, had broken her heart. If she could turn back time she wouldn't have changed anything about the choices that she made. If anything she would add random moments and she would bask in the light that she was in love, and someone loved her.

*Screen Flashes, and Samantha hears shouting.*

"Open the door! I want to talk," yells Jack.

"Who the hell are you?!" yells Barry Mashburn.

"I'm the guy you've been talking to. Jack Malone, FBI," screams Jack showing Barry his badge.

Samantha closed her eyes, she didn't want to see this, this was such a horrible thing for her to live through again. Over the last few years she had woken up in a cold sweat and trembling, clinging on to anything that would stop her room from spinning. The years since marrying Jack the dreams came fewer and less often, but that didn't mean that every time she pulled her gun on a suspect that she didn't get the images of being shot with her own gun again. How Jack looked when he entered the book store. How he didn't come to visit her in the hospital and how Danny had told her that he had moved back in with Marie.

Samantha willed herself to open her eyes and watch the screen play out before her.

"Well... what do I get in return?" asks Barry.

"Me. You get me," says Jack. "Oh no, I can't believe that you did that Jack. You had a family. You have two beautiful daughters."

"Come on, Barry. It's a great trade!" says Jack, stepping up to the door, to get inside. "Come on, Barry, back away from the door. Let me come in. You're doing fine. Nice and easy," looking at Barry, and then his eyes settling on Samantha lying on the floor, her pants drenched with her own blood, looking so pale and fragile. "I swear to you, I got nothing." Jack makes his way around Barry and Ted towards Samantha. "Everything's going to be fine. Just... it's okay. Nice and easy." Not taking his eyes off of Samantha. "Everything is going to be fine. I just want to check this out." Jack kneels down toward Sam, he reaches down and lightly brushes the hair out of her face. "How you doing, sweetheart?"

"I'm okay," Samantha says as her voice cracks.

"Okay."

"I'm going to get you out of here."

"'Kay. Okay," Sam says and Jack is trying to help her stand, before picking her up and carrying her to the door.

By this time Sam, sitting there watching all of this unfold, wouldn't have been fooled if someone told her that Jack and she had, had a relationship, and person with half a brain could tell that there was more there. A Samantha watched Jack carry her out of the bookstore and lay her down on the bench, she couldn't help but to think about what a cliché their relationship started out to be. They really did love each other. It may not have been noticeable to other people, but they didn't matter, what mattered what was what they felt for one another. The computer flashed again.

"How many had cell phones?" asked Jack as they were walking down the hallway of the school.

"Eight, two blackberries. All the parents tried to make contact. We're assuming the kidnappers confiscated them."

"What about the bus driver?"

"Bus driver Bernard... Griffin, 42, African American, divorced, no record. We're running a full background check, and I'm headed over to the bus barn."

"Okay, I want you to take Martin with you."

Samantha stopping walking to give him a look of disbelief. "No, Jack. I can do this on my own."

Stopping right along with her, and giving her the *don't fight with me* look. "Yes, I know. I want you to take him anyway. And what else?" he asked as he started to walk again.

Samantha just started at the screen. Back then it seemed that Jack was still afraid of her getting hurt, or thinking that she might make a rash decision. But once everything was back to normal, they had sat down and talked about what had happened, and then it didn't seem like such a big deal. "But looking back on it now," Samantha though, "I still wanted to be able to prove myself to everyone, not only Jack, Vivian, Danny, or Martin. But to myself. I needed to do that, I needed to be able to go about life as how it once was and not as some special person, because I got shot."

Looking at the screen Sam see's another image playing.

"What are you still doing here? Why don't you go home?" asked Jack.

Looking up at Jack, "Paperwork," she says before looking back down at what she was doing before he came in.

"I talked to Schmidt in OPR. You can go back into the filed, under one condition," he said. And that caught her attention.

"What?"

"We want you to see the in-house counselor."

"We?"

"Okay, me."

"No," said Sam, in a harsh, but weak voice.

"Samantha, you may not think that I am the best person qualified to talk to you about this... But this kind of event can have long-term fallout, and you've got to deal with it."

"I just feel like you have lost faith in me," she said.

"Nobody has lost faith in you. Least of all me," he replies, as Sam reaches out to touch his hands, and her finger skims across his wedding ring. "Come on, I'll walk you out." As they stand up, Jack's hand reaches out to hold her close, but as if just remembering where they were he slowly lets his hand fall down her back and then into his pocket.

*Flash*

"Do you Jack take Samantha to be your wife, though sickness, and in health till death do you part?"

"I do," said Jack.

"And do you Samantha, take Jack to be your husband, though sickness, and in health till death do you part?"

"I do," replied Samantha.

"Good. Now I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

As Jack and Samantha leaned towards each other they whispered, "I love you." and then they shared their first kiss of husband and wife. And the computer screen went black.

Now Samantha was officially crying. Looking over at Annie, she leaned in to hug the girl, and clung on to her for her life.

"Samantha? Are you alright?" asked Annie. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry."

"Oh hunny, you didn't upset me. I just... I mean... Thank you. I just didn't realize how much I missed him, and everyone until just now. I didn't mean for you to think that me crying is your fault. It is just the opposite. You have given me something, that I am not going to forget. Thank you."

"Well, I make movies, you watched mine and I wanted to make something for you. I felt that you deserved it."

"I loved it really," rushing to accrue Annie.

"Then I am glad."

"Um... but I do have a question for you. Why those times? Why did you chose those moments?"

"Well like all people Sam, you have moments in your life that you will always remember. You have your moments where you felt either really small, or you felt really good, you even had those in between times. But no matter what you always seemed to be able to pull yourself out of them. You were always your biggest fan. You always wanted to succeed and you always wanted things to be done your way, and when you accomplished that you felt free. The moments that I just showed you, were some of your best. You always were one of the special ones, and these times are the ones that people have always used to define Samantha Spade; friend, lover, wife, step-mother, FBI Agent, and person. You were one of a kind, you always did what you thought was right at the time, even at the end if it had a fallout you never regretted a single thing that you did."

"Thank you, you have no idea how much what you just said means to me," said Samantha wiping her tears away.

"More like I should be thanking you."

"What do you mean?" asked Samantha totally clueless.

"My mother. You showed her my video's, actually that one certain one. The one where Siobhan were talking about who we loved, and I said that I loved my mother," said Annie as she watched the pieces click in Samantha's head. "You gave her something of me, that I would have loved to be able to tell her everyday. I just wanted to thank you for that."

"Well I know what it is like to lose someone you love, so I thought that I could do something for her. Give her a bit of you back."

"And you did. So thank you," said Annie as she stood up and turned off the computer. "Alright Sam, your on your way to your next person. Just remember. Not everyone is going to be able to answer you questions right away, but just like your relationship with Jack, it will all soon start to click into place. Bye!"

"Bye, and thank you," said Sam as she stood up. "Um... Annie where do I go?" As soon as the question was spoken Samantha was lifted up and once again, like before, she started to fall.