I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack! Not that you knew I was gone...Well, I might as well tell you I've been suffering from a serious case of writers block, but it's gone, and I was bored, so here you go. Gold! Or silver...or bronze... Whatever. Why are you still reading this? Well, heh, it's not like I blame you. Who wouldn't want to read something I have written? Oops, too confident! Now your hopes will be up and—I'm just going to stop right now. Enjoy.

*~*~*~*~*~*

This is the way it's supposed to be. This is the way it's supposed to be.

"Something wrong, Kari?"

Yes T.K., everything is wrong. This is not the way it's supposed to be. I don't want this

"Kari?"

"Oh, sorry! What did you say?"

"I asked if something was wrong."

Smile Kari. Always smile. It's your best feature. When you smile everything is okay.

"I didn't get much sleep last night. I was studying for that math test…"

"How'd you do?"

Keep smiling Kari. He likes it when you smile. When you smile T.K. smiles and when we smile together we look so cute!

"I'm not sure. I think I did pretty well, except for that last question."

"You're right! That question was super hard! I hope Ms. Murakami won't include it in our final mark!"

This isn't a real conversation! People don't talk like this!

"So, we're meeting after school to hang out, right Kari-angel?"

"Sure!"

"Okay, see you then."

He looks me in the eyes, his eyes, sparkling blue. He's so perfect. He'll lean down and kiss me, but quickly, we all know how he disapproves of PDA. Then he'll smile once more and trot off like the little ass wipe he is. I'll look around, and everyone will be smiling. All the girls will be sighing and loudly stating how they would love to be part of a perfect little couple like I am. But they don't know. They don't know anything. This isn't a relationship. This isn't real. I don't want someone to hold my hand, and tell me how cute my shirts are. I want someone to take me, rough me up, yell at me. I want to feel something.

I can't stand this…this is not the way it's supposed to be…

*~*~*~*~*~*

Sometimes I feel like I'm wrapped in plastic. I can see everything outside, it's blurry but I can see, and I want nothing more than to just rip through. I can't stand the confinement. Of course no one will help me, because they don't know…they don't it's there in the first place.

It may be a bad analogy but that's how I feel, and when I'm with T.K. I feel like we're in some sort of Barbie packaging. Always smiling, with our perfect white teeth, and our perfect bodies. All the hungry kids screaming because they want us, to know us that is, or, to be aquatinted with us. I want to tell them all, "we're not so special."

We're just plastic, molded by you freaks so you have something to stride for. I hate what you've all made us…

I hate when they come up to me and ask me if I'm going to marry him. I hate when they ask me how many kids we're gonna have and what we'll name them. I hate how they all envy my emptiness; put me on a pedestal and worship nothing. They all love me, and I'm supposed to be happy? They can have T.K.! They can have his fucking pet names, and his stupid little hugs from behind! They can take his Saturday nights, sitting at home watching dumbass comedies! That's not what I want in life! I wanna be outside! I wanna dance, get drunk, have sex in a bathroom stall! I'm sick of this grade school, holding hands! This isn't me!

I have to end this before I lose myself…I'm gonna end it. No more. I can't take this anymore. It's not supposed to be like this.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Well, that's it for now. Please tell me if you liked it, or didn't like it. I like constructive criticism, and flattery. Either way I'm happy, I guess. Till next time.