Disclaimer: "Just because you have feathers up your butt doesn't mean
you're a chicken."
Yay! I managed to update twice in the small time frame of a few days. I'm so proud of myself. Well, enough of that. On with the story!
************************************************************************
Pyro sighed as he crossed off yet another name on the list and proceeded to bang his head against the card table. "Don't do that," Colossus told him. "You are killing brain cells and we still have a good ten names left to go. You need to keep your wits about you."
Pyro raised his head, and with a look of desperation announced, "Ashley Gromette".
"This is the one," Remy told him excitedly. "There is no way any of the others could compare!"
John quickly snapped his head up from where he had been staring at the clipboard and came to face a beer-bellied aging man with stubble on his face. Pyro slowly turned his head to look at Gambit. "Is the girl standing behind him?"
"Non, this is the one."
Pyro looked at the man again, noticing the white strip of hair gracing his otherwise brown mop. "Are you crazy," Pyro yelled. "A white stripe of hair does not make a person specials, simply aged! Not to mention this "muse" is a man!" He turned towards the man. "Where do you get a name like 'Ashley' from anyways? You look more like a Billy Bob, or a Hank."
"I'll have you know that the name 'Ashley' has been passed down for generations in my family since my great, great, great, great grand-daddy, Ashley I. If you have a problem with that we can take this somewhere else."
"No no," Pyro chattered. "No problem at all. I'm sure it has a very noble history. The only problem is that these auditions were for females."
"Well, it never specified on the flyer and I needed a job."
"I'm so sorry you had to waste your time here this afternoon, sir. But, if you just talk with my assistant Remy he'll make sure you get a fruit basket."
"Alrighty." He started walking off and quickly turned around. "You sure you won't need me?"
"Quite sure, thank you. Remy, if we ever do this again I'm letting Colossus screen the prospective muses. I can't deal with this anymore! I haven't had ice cream in five hours. Five hours, Remy!"
"Don't worry, mon ami. It will all be over soon and you will be on the bestseller's list."
"You really think so?"
"Well, it is not impossible but it is highly improbable. Especially since you just turned down the most qualified muse Gambit has ever..."
"I'm not changing my decision because of your obsession with some Sheila who has problems with premature aging!"
"Gambit understands...but if you would only just..."
"NO! Now go get that man a fruit basket and an ice cream cone for me while you're at it. I'm experiencing symptoms associated with the decline of a sugar high and only ice cream can make it better."
"Yes, of course."
"Lindsey Hannigan?"
"Present," a peppy voice exclaimed. A big grin on her face, the girl leapt onto the grass stage and looked expectantly at him.
"Ah, and what makes you think you're qualified?"
" I get straight A's in English, very important when writing, teehee, um, I sing, dance and act. Triple threat they call me. And I'm great at raising morale."
"And how would you know that?"
"I'm the captain of the cheer squad, silly. That's what I do, make people happy."
Pyro's eyes went wide as he quickly made the sign against evil. "Next," he cried. "Next!"
"What did I say," she questioned.
Pyro plugged his fingers into his ears. "Lalalala, can't hear you. Colossus if you can hear me remove this...thing at once, before I'm contaminated."
"See, young lady," Colossus consoled, "he is a little eccentric and sometimes little things upset him, like squirrels."
"Squirrels?"
"Yes, squirrels; they chirp and make a general nuisance of themselves. This triggers something in his mind and nothing can stop his ravings until it is removed from sight."
"You mean I remind him of a squirrel?" Her eyes welled up, signaling the possible beginning of a waterworks display.
"No, of course you don't remind him of squirrels."
"Then what? What did I do to upset him? He hates cheerleaders doesn't he?"
"No, of course not. It is just that he once dated a cheerleader. She broke his heart and he never fully recovered."
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Please send him my regrets."
"Of course, good bye now. Safe journey!" "If only all nuisances were so easily gotten rid of," he mumbled under his breath. ************************************************************************
The end is near! No, really, I can only see a couple more chapters in this story before I reach the end. It's sad, but a happy sad, if that makes any sense. Please review, I live off of the feedback.
Yay! I managed to update twice in the small time frame of a few days. I'm so proud of myself. Well, enough of that. On with the story!
************************************************************************
Pyro sighed as he crossed off yet another name on the list and proceeded to bang his head against the card table. "Don't do that," Colossus told him. "You are killing brain cells and we still have a good ten names left to go. You need to keep your wits about you."
Pyro raised his head, and with a look of desperation announced, "Ashley Gromette".
"This is the one," Remy told him excitedly. "There is no way any of the others could compare!"
John quickly snapped his head up from where he had been staring at the clipboard and came to face a beer-bellied aging man with stubble on his face. Pyro slowly turned his head to look at Gambit. "Is the girl standing behind him?"
"Non, this is the one."
Pyro looked at the man again, noticing the white strip of hair gracing his otherwise brown mop. "Are you crazy," Pyro yelled. "A white stripe of hair does not make a person specials, simply aged! Not to mention this "muse" is a man!" He turned towards the man. "Where do you get a name like 'Ashley' from anyways? You look more like a Billy Bob, or a Hank."
"I'll have you know that the name 'Ashley' has been passed down for generations in my family since my great, great, great, great grand-daddy, Ashley I. If you have a problem with that we can take this somewhere else."
"No no," Pyro chattered. "No problem at all. I'm sure it has a very noble history. The only problem is that these auditions were for females."
"Well, it never specified on the flyer and I needed a job."
"I'm so sorry you had to waste your time here this afternoon, sir. But, if you just talk with my assistant Remy he'll make sure you get a fruit basket."
"Alrighty." He started walking off and quickly turned around. "You sure you won't need me?"
"Quite sure, thank you. Remy, if we ever do this again I'm letting Colossus screen the prospective muses. I can't deal with this anymore! I haven't had ice cream in five hours. Five hours, Remy!"
"Don't worry, mon ami. It will all be over soon and you will be on the bestseller's list."
"You really think so?"
"Well, it is not impossible but it is highly improbable. Especially since you just turned down the most qualified muse Gambit has ever..."
"I'm not changing my decision because of your obsession with some Sheila who has problems with premature aging!"
"Gambit understands...but if you would only just..."
"NO! Now go get that man a fruit basket and an ice cream cone for me while you're at it. I'm experiencing symptoms associated with the decline of a sugar high and only ice cream can make it better."
"Yes, of course."
"Lindsey Hannigan?"
"Present," a peppy voice exclaimed. A big grin on her face, the girl leapt onto the grass stage and looked expectantly at him.
"Ah, and what makes you think you're qualified?"
" I get straight A's in English, very important when writing, teehee, um, I sing, dance and act. Triple threat they call me. And I'm great at raising morale."
"And how would you know that?"
"I'm the captain of the cheer squad, silly. That's what I do, make people happy."
Pyro's eyes went wide as he quickly made the sign against evil. "Next," he cried. "Next!"
"What did I say," she questioned.
Pyro plugged his fingers into his ears. "Lalalala, can't hear you. Colossus if you can hear me remove this...thing at once, before I'm contaminated."
"See, young lady," Colossus consoled, "he is a little eccentric and sometimes little things upset him, like squirrels."
"Squirrels?"
"Yes, squirrels; they chirp and make a general nuisance of themselves. This triggers something in his mind and nothing can stop his ravings until it is removed from sight."
"You mean I remind him of a squirrel?" Her eyes welled up, signaling the possible beginning of a waterworks display.
"No, of course you don't remind him of squirrels."
"Then what? What did I do to upset him? He hates cheerleaders doesn't he?"
"No, of course not. It is just that he once dated a cheerleader. She broke his heart and he never fully recovered."
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Please send him my regrets."
"Of course, good bye now. Safe journey!" "If only all nuisances were so easily gotten rid of," he mumbled under his breath. ************************************************************************
The end is near! No, really, I can only see a couple more chapters in this story before I reach the end. It's sad, but a happy sad, if that makes any sense. Please review, I live off of the feedback.