Chapter 3 ~ The Silence of Lightning
When Misao finally fell, she had expected nothing to greet her but the harsh shock of the cement path. Instead, she was caught by a pair of strong arms, arms whose shape and touch were as familiar to her as their owner's face, arms that had held her through countless sorrows, whose comfort she did not deserve but was always freely given. They were Sanosuke's arms.
"Misao!" His voice was harsh with fear and confusion, his eyes dark and worried, absent any trace of his usual boyishness.
As always, Sano's presence seemed to unlock even the most tightly held floodgates within Misao. She could never hide anything from him; it was as if his very voice resonated deep and true, demanding nothing less than complete honesty. This time was no different…even if she could have stemmed the uncontrollable flow of her tears.
"Sano-nii!" she choked out, then sank to her knees, overcome by weeping. Please, please take this pain away. She felt as if any minute now she would burst from the maelstrom of guilt and grief that stormed inside her.
His heart skipped painfully at the old nickname, but he brushed aside such selfish concerns for later. She hadn't called him that in years, and he knew that she only used it when she was extremely distressed. In fact, the last time she had cried like this was when…
He sucked in a sharp breath, suddenly finding it hard to keep a calm face. What did that bastard do this time? He crouched in front of Misao and took her gently by the shoulders, but when she cringed at the expression in his eyes he knew that he was doing a poor job of pushing the anger down. "It was Shinomori, wasn't it?"
His voice was only quiet like that when he was really angry. "No!" She grasped his arms in alarm and denial. "No…it was me. It was me!" Oh, would the tears ever stop! It was like one of those nightmares when she cried so much that she couldn't breathe. "I hurt him, Sano. I said such ha-hateful things to him, when he was just trying to help me!" A fresh wave of grief threatened to consume her. He eased her into the circle of his arms, smoothing her hair with tender, reassuring motions. She sobbed against his shoulder. "You should've seen the lo-look in his eyes…so hurt, so con-confused! How could I have said those things?!"
"Oh, Misao." Did she know just how much those words hurt him? But he only held her more tightly, and if he did so to soothe the unspoken words in his own heart, neither of them was aware.
The low, smooth timbre of his voice quieted her misery; gradually her trembling ceased and the choking sensation receded from her chest. Sano was not so fortunate. Through the suffocating haze of rage all he could focus on were two things ~ getting Misao home, and making Shinomori pay.
He kissed her softly on the top of her hair, then helped her get up, careful of her injuries. They were worse than he'd expected, and those bandages definitely needed to be changed. He scowled darkly. Kenshin had told him that she was hurt ~ but not like this! "Those gangsters better pray they never get out of prison," he muttered, keeping one arm firmly around Misao's waist.
She gazed at him solemnly, but with an unmistakable spark in her eyes. "For their sake, I hope so too." He only shook his head, secretly glad to see a little of her old spirit come back. He would play big brother forever if it meant she could be happy.
"Let's go home, Misao-chan."
The water was hot, but he didn't notice.
Aoshi stood under the relentless beating of the shower, head bowed and hands braced on the dark tile walls. The jets of water struck without mercy, to fall in streams from his hair and down along his shoulders. To mingle with the water on his face, so that even he couldn't tell if it was salty.
Yet the water's thunder could not drown out the sound of her voice.
How dare you touch me when you know nothing about me anymore?
He didn't remember how long he had stood in that clearing after she'd gone, unmoving and blind to everything save the truth of that one question. An overwhelming bitterness had possessed him, as those damning words replayed themselves over and over in his head. What right did he have, indeed, when he had been the one to abandon her? What right did he have to offer his comfort when he had caused her so much pain to begin with? Where had he been all those years, when she was happy, sad, angry or lonely? Where had he been for all the milestones, small and large, of those eight years of her life?
In sudden rage he slammed his fist into the wall, the satisfying crack of the breaking tile a small comfort to his frustration. His chest heaved with the effort it took to control his emotions, his face struggling to form the well-practiced mask of indifference he presented to the world.
Though in the end, the doorbell was what finally compelled him to leave the shower. He toweled off and threw on a pair of loose pants, even as the polite rings turned into insistent pounding. Pounding that was accompanied, and explained, by the sound of Sagara Sanosuke's loud voice.
Sano was just contemplating how many different ways he would like to break the door down when it was suddenly thrown open. And when he saw Shinomori standing on the other side, he strode in without hesitation and punched him in the face.
Aoshi made no sound, merely righted his head as if registering no impact on his jaw. His eyes narrowed dangerously, in an expression that would have made most men quake and run. But he'd also made no attempt to defend himself or fight back ~ almost as if he could anticipate what Sano had to say.
"That was for Misao." Sano wasn't done yet. He raised his hand again, "And this is for m-"
Aoshi caught his hand mid-strike. "Now that," his voice was low, but the threat it contained made even Sano pause, "requires explanation."
The younger man made a disgusted noise and threw off his arm. "Fine, we'll talk," he spat out. "For her sake. Although I'm itching for a good fight."
Aoshi merely leaned back against the wall and waited. Sano took a moment to examine the expression on his face, noticing with his usual acuteness the shadowy, guarded look in his eyes and the dark circles that signaled deep exhaustion. The fact that Aoshi was moving with less than his usual speed also told him that something was definitely wrong. Sano almost felt concerned, but then the image of a crying Misao flashed into his mind and wiped away any charitable thoughts.
"What did you say to her?" He demanded roughly.
"That is none of your concern." Aoshi answered in that maddeningly cool tone of his.
Sano snarled. "Then I'll make it my concern! Anything that involves Misao involves me just as much. What the hell did you do to her this time, Shinomori?"
"I repeat: it's none of your business, Sagara."
His fists clenched as if ready to strike out again. "Damn it Shinomori! Don't you think you've hurt her enough for one lifetime? Do you need her to waste another eight years of her life waiting for you? Do you think you could just barge back in and find that nothing has changed? That she'd fall right back into your arms and pretend nothing ever went wrong? That you never left her without a word of explanation or even saying goodbye?" He was shouting now. "Do you think you could ever make up for all the wrong you've done her, all the times you made her cry?"
"I…don't." And the tone of his voice made Sano stop. Some of the heat in his eyes dissipated when he looked at the taller man, at the stiffness in his posture and the tension in his hands.
He sighed. Aoshi was in no condition to fight now, and what Sano wanted was a fair fight. Besides, he still needed to check back on Misao. He turned around to leave.
"Is she…all right?" The question was so quiet, but the force behind it made the words almost vibrate.
A pause. Then, "Yes. She's visiting the Himuras at the hospital right now."
He did not see that after the door closed, Shinomori Aoshi slid down to slump against the wall with his head in his hands. Nor did he hear the whispered thank you that dissolved, traceless, into the air.
Misao paused outside Kaoru's hospital room, hands tightening unconsciously around the bouquet of pink roses and lilies-of-the-valley. Through the half-open door she could look, unnoticed, into the small but cozy room, now awash in the warm afternoon sunlight that shone through a single large window. Perhaps it was the quality of this golden light that gave the room its uncharacteristic cheer, or the presence of the two lovers in its illumination and their almost tangible hopes and dreams. Once more she felt as a spectator of an enchanting play, herself having no part to take in this scene of contentment yet still moved by the richness of its weave and color. For a moment she hesitated, unwilling to intrude upon Kenshin and Kaoru who, holding hands, seemed to be in the middle of an intimate, private conversation.
But she had words of her own that needed to be said. She smoothed her hair and took a deep steadying breath, then knocked softly on the glass-paneled door.
They both turned at once, with identical smiles of welcome, almost as if they were expecting her. She walked slowly towards them, holding the flowers like a sacred offering while taking refuge in their subtle cloud of fragrance. Kenshin rose wordlessly and took them from her; the gratitude in his gentle violet eyes extended far beyond the acceptance of a simple bouquet. He laid one hand upon her shoulder ~ its warmth made her forget the pain of her injuries ~ and gave her a rare glimpse of his heart, completely bared. He let her see thankfulness for a life saved, a family protected, a dream salvaged from the edges of darkness; he let her feel the respect and admiration of a fellow warrior. And he readily accepted her mistakes, easing a little the crushing burden of guilt she carried. There were no words in the silent exchange, but her eyes were shimmering when he finally stepped past her and out of the room.
She turned tremulously towards Kaoru, momentarily unable to speak. The older girl simply smiled and opened her arms, and that was enough. In two faltering steps, before the tears overcame her completely, she reached the bed and fell into Kaoru's embrace.
"I'm sor…so s-sorr…I'm so sorr-"
"Shh…" Kaoru held her tenderly, her own voice hushed with emotion. "It's all right, Misao-chan. Everything's going to be okay."
Misao shook her head stubbornly, unwilling to let go of her guilt. She lifted a tear-stained face to look imploringly at her cousin, "But you were hurt, and the baby-"
"-will be perfectly healthy." Kaoru finished for her, in a tone that brooked no argument but shook with underlying amusement. "Just like his mother, thanks to you."
Sobering, she gazed with serious eyes at Misao. "Please stop blaming yourself for what happened. You took more than your share of injuries for my ~ our ~ sake, and we don't even have enough words to express our gratitude, let alone think it your fault. If anything, I should have done more to help, rather than stand aside like some defenseless maiden in distress."
The thought of Kaoru being a maiden in distress brought sudden mirth bubbling to Misao's lips, which curved into the first genuine smile she'd worn since the attack. At the sight of Kaoru's vaguely puzzled expression the smile stretched into a grin, the kind of mischievous, playful, dazzlingly impetuous grin only Misao could manage. Kaoru couldn't help but laugh at that.
"It's good to see my old Misao back," she proclaimed, with a profound sense of relief at having avoided some unimaginable disaster. "I was afraid that we'd lost you to the dark side."
Misao's answering laughter was music to the ears. "What? And give up on me so easily?" Her eyes lighted with a sudden realization. "Kaoru, did I just hear you call the baby a…he?"
"Oh, yes! I almost forgot to tell you! The doctors found out from all the tests they did to make sure that we were okay ~ it's a boy!"
Misao clapped her hands together in excitement. "That's wonderful! Now you can start thinking of names, and I can indulge in all the baby-boy shopping a loving aunt can do."
Kaoru blushed in pleasure. "Actually, Kenshin and I have already decided on a name. We're going to call him Kenji."
"Kenji." She spoke the name softly, reverently, letting it linger on her tongue. "Kenji. Born to carry on the way of the sword, the honor and love of his father and mother. It suits him perfectly."
The sunlight gilded her wondering eyes, still sparkling with traces of tears, and teased the corners of her thoughtful smile. Over Misao's shoulders Kaoru exchanged a silent look with her husband; he nodded, relieved, then stepped quietly into the room.
"Thank you, Misao-dono," Kenshin's low voice carried through her reverie. "We're glad you approve."
They were rewarded by her clear, impulsive laugh. She stood up and gave Kenshin a fierce hug, inherited from the infamous Okina. "Congratulations, Himura."
Releasing him before he suffocated, Misao winked and picked up her bag. "I'll be back!" she said in mock warning. "In the meantime, take care of each other."
"We will," assured Kaoru, patting her husband sympathetically. "Now go home and get some rest."
She gave no reply and made no promises. For there was somewhere else she still needed to go.
Alone at his window, Aoshi watched the setting sun being overcome by an ominous bank of thick, black clouds. As darkness set in, so did an oppressive feeling of dread that did nothing to lighten the bleak mood of his day.
The doorbell rang. He frowned, then crossed the room on soundless feet to open the door.
His frown deepened. His voice sounded harsh even to his own ears.
"What are you doing here?"
Lightning flashed.
"Aoshi, darling, aren't you glad to see me?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Bonus points to anyone who can guess who that is. That was a very evil thing to do now, wasn't it? I have a feeling that the story is just getting interesting. *lol* It certainly took me long enough!
This chapter is dedicated to Tessira Aleyn ~ in the hopes that you'll reclaim that inspiration and start writing Aoshi/Misao stories again! I have read your writing so many times that I have your stories practically memorized. There is absolutely too little ~ please, please grace us with more!
Thank you to all those who have read and reviewed. I love reading your thoughts!