There Goes the Neighborhood

By Benji The Vampire Confuser

Beavis and Butthead are the property of MTV, and are licensed to Marvel Comics. Generation X is the property of Marvel Comics.

Surgeon General's Warning: Reading this story may result in spontaneous Beavis or Butthead imitations.

F.B.I. Warning: Any person or persons caught taking this story seriously will be shot.

Author's Warning: Read at your own risk. If you dare!

Highland, USA:

"This is Trish Tilby reporting..."

"This sucks Beavis! Change it!" Before Beavis could change the channel however, an image of The Human Torch appeared on the screen.

"Woah. Fire! Heh heh. Fire!" Beavis commented.

"Huh huh. Fire's cool." Butthead added.

"Yeah, heh heh, cool. Fire, fire, fire! Heh heh heh heh."

"Shut up Beavis! I'm tryin' to hear the news chick!"

The next report was on the recent battle between The X-Men and Sabertooth the night before.

"Woah!" Butthead marveled, "That dude's cool!"

"Hey Butthead." Beavis asked. "You think I could kick his ass?"

"No way Beavis. He'd like, rip your guts out. Huh huh. That'd be cool. Mutant's rule." Suddenly, through some unexplainable disruption in the Space time continuum, Butthead got an idea. That's not to say it was a good idea.

"Hey Beavis, let's be Mutants."

"Yeah," Beavis agreed, not quite sure what Butthead meant, but not about to let on, "That'd be cool. Heh heh, um, heh."

Westchester, NY

Deep in the Mansion the X-Men called home, was the huge machine known as Cerebro. With this machine, Professor Xavier scanned the world for young mutants who may help him realize his dream of peaceful coexistence between humans and mutants.

*Jean could you come in here for a moment?* Xavier called to his student telepathically. She entered the computer room, slightly wary of the tone he'd used.

"What is it Professor? You look troubled."

"Unsure is more like it Jean. I've just located two minds that are so alien that they could only be Mutant's. But Cerebro doesn't read them." He frowned.

Jean frowned as well, this had never happened before. "Well where are they? Perhaps I could go and find out."

"No Jean, I think I'll leave this to Emma to investigate and recruit them if possible. New students are really her department now anyway. This has to be handled carefully however, they may have managed to shield themselves from Cerebro's sensors. If so, they must be powerful indeed."

Highland

Beavis had just changed the channel for the 50th time when the letter came. Glancing out the window, he saw a mail truck pull up to the beat up (literally) mailbox out front and after struggling with the jammed door, the mail man gave up and left the letter on top of the box.

"Hey Butthead. Heh heh. We got mail. Cool." He ran outside and retrieved the letter.

"Huh huh. Let's burn it." Butthead suggested. Perhaps today would not suck after all.

"No way Butthead. Let's open it." He started to tear open the envelope. "Heh heh. Maybe it's a bomb. Heh heh. That'd be cool. Heh heh, boom. Heh heh."

"You assmunch, they caught the Unabomber."

"The what?" He opened the letter. His eye's opened wide. "Hey Butthead, we're gonna go to a school in Massachusetts!"

"School? That sucks! Burn it! Burn it!" Butthead cried in fear and loathing.

"No way dumbass! It's a school for Mutants! Heh heh. They think we're Mutants! Heh heh heh heh heh heh..."

"Settle down Beavis!" He grabbed the envelope. "Hey there's three plane tickets here!" he held up the two tickets. (No I that's not a typo.) "We could get like ten dollars for these."

"No way Butthead. Let's go!"

"You dumbass! We can't go, we're not Mutants!"

"Sure we are. It says so right here." He pointed to the letter.

"Oh yeah. Huh huh. Cool. We're Mutants."

The two left the house, their hearts soaring with the coming adventure. Or in their minds, something cool was bound to happen.

"Hey Butthead," Beavis wondered. "Like how are we gonna get to the airport?"

"Uh," Butthead thought for a moment and looked around, "Uh, let's take Anderson's car." He turned towards their neighbor's driveway and car.

"Um, okay. Heh heh."

Butthead got into the drivers seat and looked at the dashboard.

Beavis got into the passenger seat.

"Um," Beavis said, "Like nothing's happening."

Butthead smacked Beavis. "You fartknocker! You have to start it first."

"Oh yeah!" Beavis began looking for the start up button. "Um, now let me see here, um,"

"Goll dangit!" Anderson said. "I done left the keys in the car!"

Maybe this does it. Butthead thought, turning the key. The engine sprung to life. "Woah! Huh huh, cool." He stepped on the gas.

The car rolled down the driveway, narrowly missing an oncoming car. "Hey watch it Dillhole!" Butthead said. "Huh huh, some people suck at driving."

Daria watched the movers load the last of their family's things into the moving van.

"Why do we have to move?" Quinn asked irritably.

"Have you looked at this neighborhood lately?" Daria responded. "Speaking of which..."

Beavis and Butthead rolled to a stop in front of Daria's house.

"Hey Diarrhea." Butthead smirked.

"I'm almost afraid to ask this, but where are you going?"

"We're like, gonna go to a school for Mutants." Beavis said. "Heh heh, cool, we're mutants." With that, they drove away.

"Somehow," Daria said, "I am not surprised."

The compartments above Beavis' and Butthead's seats hung open, and Beavis and Butthead sat, breathing deeply from the oxygen masks.

"This sucks Beavis." Butthead said through the mask. "I'm not getting a buzz!"

"Excuse me sir," the Stewardess said, "But those are in case of emergency only."

Beavis and Butthead didn't answer. Their attention was riveted on her chest.

"Huh huh huh huh huh huh..."

"Heh heh heh heh heh heh..."

You think this was bad…