Chapter 6: Hollywood Director
A/N: Ooooh, I love you all!!!! To Dana Whelks: I'm so glad you are in awe of the awesomeness! Lol. Enjoy the chapter! To Walla-Balla-Nora: I'm so glad you like the fic! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter too! To harryschic: Enjoy the chapter and thanks for reviewing the others! To digimon-lover: Oh, my gosh! You really think my fic is almost as good as jedi-hobbit's??? *squeals* I feel so honored! That's a totally great fic! And Harry totally rocks . . . Hehehe . . . To mystic-angel5: I so love you! You reviewed to every chapter when you could have just reviewed to chapter five! *gives Jaimy a huge hug* Thanks for all your suggestions! Did you see Chicago in theaters??? It comes out today! (I'm typing this on the 19, so it . . . did. I don't really know what I expected to put there . . .) To Sparrklez: Hey! Thanks for reviewing. I'm so glad you like the hoedown; when I saw it on TV, it made me laugh my ass off!!!!! To hi-lariously funny hp fan: Thanks for your review! I'm glad you like the story! I hope you'll continue reading it as I post more chapters! To Moonie2: Oh, my gosh! No offense or anything, but your review scared me a little! *takes 10 billion points and stashes them away in a secret hideaway with the other nine points Moonie2 gave her* Haha, lol. Keep reading!!! To alecatq: Thanks for your review and your suggestions! Snape's underwear drawer would be a very scary sight for these four poor performers . . . *Katie grins and looks from side to side evilly and stats scribbling on a piece of paper* . . . which is why, of course, I'm gonna use it in a future chapter! Hehehe . . . To JediMasterWhit: Glad you thought it was funny! Thanks for your suggestions and enjoy the chapter!!!!! To Noriko M. Chijinu: Thanks so much for your suggestions!! Hope you like the chapter! To BaYer04rulz: Thanks so much for your suggestion! I hope that, now you've read the first five chapters, you'll continue reading!!! Enjoy the chapter! To koolcatt: Hey! Thanks for your suggestions!! No, I haven't seen Zorro; is it good? Hope you enjoy the chapter! And keep helping me out, I need it!!!! To Infinity4: I'm definitely doing Song Titles soon. I love that game . . . Thanks for your suggestions and enjoy the chapter!! To leviathan: I wrote in the beginning of the chapter that it was dedicated to Wayne Brady, Drew Carey, Colin Mochrie, and Ryan Stiles for the hoedown. I also said that I only changed a few words in the song, indicating that I did not write it from my own ideas. I merely changed a few words so it went along with the theme of Harry, Hermione, Seamus, and Lee.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ron: All right, the next game these guys will be playing is called Hollywood Director. This is for all four of you.
*Performers get up and step onto the stage before looking at Ron*
Ron: In this game, Hermione, Seamus, and Harry are going to act out a scene and Lee is going to be a big, bad Hollywood director. During the scene, Lee is going to stop it and give the actors -
*Hermione clears her throat loudly and meaningfully*
Ron: And actress, blah-di, blah-di, blah! *Audience laughs as Hermione walks over and hits Ron on the side of the head* That hurt!
Hermione: It was supposed to!
Ron: Anyway, Lee's going to give the ac - performers notes on how to do the scene. Okay, the scene is bad-girl Gryffindor, Hermione, has detention wi - hahahahaha - with evil Professor Snape, Seamus, when Snape's favorite student Malfoy, Harry, walks in. Lee, here are your director notes. Take it away, whenever you're ready.
*Hermione gets down onto her hands and knees on the floor and looks up incredulously at Seamus*
Hermione: Excuse me?! You want me to what?!
Seamus: *standing over her, rolls his eyes* Keep dreaming, Granger. That detention will never come. All I want you to do is clean out every cauldron in the storeroom and then you need to rearrange the student cupboard. When you're done with those chores, see me and I'll find you something else to do.
Hermione: Sure, Professor. Whatever.
*Hermione pretends to start cleaning cauldrons. Harry jumps onto the stage, pretending to hold something*
Harry: All, right, Sevvy, strip down! Time for pictures!
*The audience starts laughing as Ron burst out laughing. Harry pretends to take a picture, as Seamus looks enraged*
Hermione: *looking disgusted* What the hell?!
Seamus: Mister Malfoy, can't you see I am conducting a detention?? With a Gryffindor??
Harry: Oh, Merlin! I can't believe I didn't ask! Does she want to be in the pictures, too?
*Ron falls off his chair, he's laughing so hard, much to the amusement of the audience. Hermione looks shocked and also trying not to laugh at Ron, who's having a hard time getting back up into his chair*
Hermione: I most certainly do not! Especially with . . . him! *Looks sideways at Seamus in disgust* Now if it were with someone with incredible physical attraction . . . *pretends to go off in a daze thinking about good- looking people*
*Seamus looks from her to Harry, who's standing holding a pretend camera and shrugging. He snaps his fingers and sweeps his hands over his face. When he brings them back down to his side, he's got a huge fake grin on his face, showing as many teeth as humanly possible*
Seamus: *while keeping every tooth showing and winking like a game show host* Allow me to introduce myself! My name is Professor Gilderoy Lockhart! Order of Merlin, third class, honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award!
*Lee jumps onto the set as the audience and Ron roar with laughter*
Lee: *irritably* Cut, cut, cut! That was horrible! Awful! I couldn't even bear to watch it!
Hermione: *muttering along with Harry and Seamus* Well, I thought it was pretty good.
Harry: Yeah, me, too.
Lee: Well, you were all wrong! Now . . . wait! Inspiration is coming to me! *pulls a piece of paper form his pocket and looks at it* Muggle Nickelodeon! Do it like Spongebob Squarepants! *A long pause as all the performers stare openmouthed at Lee and Ron starts laughing* ACTION!
*Lee runs off stage*
Hermione jumps in to face Seamus, who's looking irritable, mean, and just all-around Snape*
Hermione: I'm . . . READY!!!! *Audience laughs* Professor Snape, what are we going to be doing today? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? PROFESSOR SNAPE, ARE WE GOING TO THE KRUSTY KRAB?!?!?!?!?! *Grabs Seamus and shakes him*
Seamus: *looks around, confused, in a stupid (Patrick-sounding) voice* Who's Professor Snape? I'm Patrick!
*Harry steps onto the stage with a sour look on his face*
Harry: *in a nasally voice* Can you two morons pipe down? I'm trying to take pictures here with my picture-taking clarinet!
*Lee jumps onto the stage*
Lee: No, no, no! That was all wrong! All wrong! Let me think . . . but first! You! *Points accusingly at Harry* You are so lucky I'm sleeping with you!
*Harry looks ashamed*
Harry: I know . . .
*Hermione looks outraged*
Hermione: You're sleeping with him, too?!
Lee: Oh, shut up! Now, I want you to do it like . . . *pulls piece of paper from his pocket and looks at it* Ah-ha! Do it like drunken college kids! Action!
*Lee walks off stage*
Hermione: *sways and falls into Seamus* Dude! I know that I've got, like, a det-deten-deten-a punishment, but I am sooo drunk! Whooo!!! *Pretends to take a huge swig from a bottle before falling backwards to sit on the edge of the stage, still drinking*
Seamus: *while Hermione is drinking and falling* Whooo!!!!!! Alpha Beta Kappa Frat rules, man!!! Whoooo!!!!! *lifts up his shirt, laughing like- hey what do you know-a stupid drunk frat guy. Ron and the audience are laughing hysterically*
Harry: *jumps on stage, looking around him frantically before spotting an audience member and running over to them* DUDE!!!! The strippers are here!!!!!! Yeah!!!!
*Harry's pumping his fists energetically as he runs back to the stage, only to trip on the edge and fall on his face while the audience laughs*
Lee: *jumps on stage* Cut, cut, cut!!! *Harry and Hermione get up from the ground and Seamus stops pulling off his shirt and all three walk over to Lee* That was horrible! Pure and absolute crap! Now, I want you to do it like *pulls out a piece of paper form his pocket and glances at it quickly* members of the Real World! ACTION!
*Harry, Hermione, and Seamus look at each other before ducking their heads and trying not to laugh. Harry hurries offstage and Hermione pretends to be lounging on a couch or chair or something and Seamus pretends to shoot pool*
Hermione: Seamus, you don't [bleep]ing get it. When it's two-thirty in the morning and you and Harry are drunk and playing pool, I'm trying to do my detention. You don't have any consideration for anyone else in the house. We never get any sleep because you two are always up shouting and laughing. I was assigned another detention tonight because I fell asleep during tonight's detention. And do you know why? I didn't get enough sleep last night and I haven't for the past two weeks.
Seamus: *lazily* Stop being such a dramatic bitch, Hermione.
*Hermione pretends to look shocked. She gets up from the ground and steps to the side*
Hermione: And then, he goes, 'Stop being such a dramatic bitch, Hermione.'
*Hermione steps over and looks at the spot she was just in, pretending to be another roommate*
Hermione: Oh, my God! I can't believe him!
*Harry steps into the scene and walks right up to the camera like he's in a confessional*
Harry: Seamus told me what happened and then Hermione told me what happened. Frankly, I think-and I don't mean to diss Seamus or anything-but I think Hermione was right. I thought about Seamus's and my late-night partying in the house and it's really not fair to the rest of the roommates.
*Hermione comes over and pushes Harry out of the way*
Hermione: *looking angry* I'm like, still heated over Seamus. He has no right to call me a dramatic bitch when he's the one pining away like some lovesick puppy over his boyfriend Ron. He's has given a new definition to 'dramatic'.
*Ron hit the buzzer repeatedly, signaling the end to the game. Lee, Seamus, Harry and Hermione go back to their seats*
Ron: Okay, that was great. Um, a thousand points for everyone. Two thousand for Hermione for revealing Seamus's true feelings about me.
*Hermione grins innocently as the audience laughs*
Seamus: *seductively* Who loves ya, baby? *winks*
Ron: Hahahaha, oh yeah . . . Okay, our next game is . . .
A/N: Okay, I need two more things from you guys. #1: I need a few suggestions for props; and #2: I need suggestions for a scene for Song Titles Only. Also, leave a review! I love hearing what you guys think about the fic!! It's really easy! Just hit that little button right there in the lower left-hand corner. Go ahead! You know you want to . . .
A/N: Ooooh, I love you all!!!! To Dana Whelks: I'm so glad you are in awe of the awesomeness! Lol. Enjoy the chapter! To Walla-Balla-Nora: I'm so glad you like the fic! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter too! To harryschic: Enjoy the chapter and thanks for reviewing the others! To digimon-lover: Oh, my gosh! You really think my fic is almost as good as jedi-hobbit's??? *squeals* I feel so honored! That's a totally great fic! And Harry totally rocks . . . Hehehe . . . To mystic-angel5: I so love you! You reviewed to every chapter when you could have just reviewed to chapter five! *gives Jaimy a huge hug* Thanks for all your suggestions! Did you see Chicago in theaters??? It comes out today! (I'm typing this on the 19, so it . . . did. I don't really know what I expected to put there . . .) To Sparrklez: Hey! Thanks for reviewing. I'm so glad you like the hoedown; when I saw it on TV, it made me laugh my ass off!!!!! To hi-lariously funny hp fan: Thanks for your review! I'm glad you like the story! I hope you'll continue reading it as I post more chapters! To Moonie2: Oh, my gosh! No offense or anything, but your review scared me a little! *takes 10 billion points and stashes them away in a secret hideaway with the other nine points Moonie2 gave her* Haha, lol. Keep reading!!! To alecatq: Thanks for your review and your suggestions! Snape's underwear drawer would be a very scary sight for these four poor performers . . . *Katie grins and looks from side to side evilly and stats scribbling on a piece of paper* . . . which is why, of course, I'm gonna use it in a future chapter! Hehehe . . . To JediMasterWhit: Glad you thought it was funny! Thanks for your suggestions and enjoy the chapter!!!!! To Noriko M. Chijinu: Thanks so much for your suggestions!! Hope you like the chapter! To BaYer04rulz: Thanks so much for your suggestion! I hope that, now you've read the first five chapters, you'll continue reading!!! Enjoy the chapter! To koolcatt: Hey! Thanks for your suggestions!! No, I haven't seen Zorro; is it good? Hope you enjoy the chapter! And keep helping me out, I need it!!!! To Infinity4: I'm definitely doing Song Titles soon. I love that game . . . Thanks for your suggestions and enjoy the chapter!! To leviathan: I wrote in the beginning of the chapter that it was dedicated to Wayne Brady, Drew Carey, Colin Mochrie, and Ryan Stiles for the hoedown. I also said that I only changed a few words in the song, indicating that I did not write it from my own ideas. I merely changed a few words so it went along with the theme of Harry, Hermione, Seamus, and Lee.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ron: All right, the next game these guys will be playing is called Hollywood Director. This is for all four of you.
*Performers get up and step onto the stage before looking at Ron*
Ron: In this game, Hermione, Seamus, and Harry are going to act out a scene and Lee is going to be a big, bad Hollywood director. During the scene, Lee is going to stop it and give the actors -
*Hermione clears her throat loudly and meaningfully*
Ron: And actress, blah-di, blah-di, blah! *Audience laughs as Hermione walks over and hits Ron on the side of the head* That hurt!
Hermione: It was supposed to!
Ron: Anyway, Lee's going to give the ac - performers notes on how to do the scene. Okay, the scene is bad-girl Gryffindor, Hermione, has detention wi - hahahahaha - with evil Professor Snape, Seamus, when Snape's favorite student Malfoy, Harry, walks in. Lee, here are your director notes. Take it away, whenever you're ready.
*Hermione gets down onto her hands and knees on the floor and looks up incredulously at Seamus*
Hermione: Excuse me?! You want me to what?!
Seamus: *standing over her, rolls his eyes* Keep dreaming, Granger. That detention will never come. All I want you to do is clean out every cauldron in the storeroom and then you need to rearrange the student cupboard. When you're done with those chores, see me and I'll find you something else to do.
Hermione: Sure, Professor. Whatever.
*Hermione pretends to start cleaning cauldrons. Harry jumps onto the stage, pretending to hold something*
Harry: All, right, Sevvy, strip down! Time for pictures!
*The audience starts laughing as Ron burst out laughing. Harry pretends to take a picture, as Seamus looks enraged*
Hermione: *looking disgusted* What the hell?!
Seamus: Mister Malfoy, can't you see I am conducting a detention?? With a Gryffindor??
Harry: Oh, Merlin! I can't believe I didn't ask! Does she want to be in the pictures, too?
*Ron falls off his chair, he's laughing so hard, much to the amusement of the audience. Hermione looks shocked and also trying not to laugh at Ron, who's having a hard time getting back up into his chair*
Hermione: I most certainly do not! Especially with . . . him! *Looks sideways at Seamus in disgust* Now if it were with someone with incredible physical attraction . . . *pretends to go off in a daze thinking about good- looking people*
*Seamus looks from her to Harry, who's standing holding a pretend camera and shrugging. He snaps his fingers and sweeps his hands over his face. When he brings them back down to his side, he's got a huge fake grin on his face, showing as many teeth as humanly possible*
Seamus: *while keeping every tooth showing and winking like a game show host* Allow me to introduce myself! My name is Professor Gilderoy Lockhart! Order of Merlin, third class, honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award!
*Lee jumps onto the set as the audience and Ron roar with laughter*
Lee: *irritably* Cut, cut, cut! That was horrible! Awful! I couldn't even bear to watch it!
Hermione: *muttering along with Harry and Seamus* Well, I thought it was pretty good.
Harry: Yeah, me, too.
Lee: Well, you were all wrong! Now . . . wait! Inspiration is coming to me! *pulls a piece of paper form his pocket and looks at it* Muggle Nickelodeon! Do it like Spongebob Squarepants! *A long pause as all the performers stare openmouthed at Lee and Ron starts laughing* ACTION!
*Lee runs off stage*
Hermione jumps in to face Seamus, who's looking irritable, mean, and just all-around Snape*
Hermione: I'm . . . READY!!!! *Audience laughs* Professor Snape, what are we going to be doing today? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? PROFESSOR SNAPE, ARE WE GOING TO THE KRUSTY KRAB?!?!?!?!?! *Grabs Seamus and shakes him*
Seamus: *looks around, confused, in a stupid (Patrick-sounding) voice* Who's Professor Snape? I'm Patrick!
*Harry steps onto the stage with a sour look on his face*
Harry: *in a nasally voice* Can you two morons pipe down? I'm trying to take pictures here with my picture-taking clarinet!
*Lee jumps onto the stage*
Lee: No, no, no! That was all wrong! All wrong! Let me think . . . but first! You! *Points accusingly at Harry* You are so lucky I'm sleeping with you!
*Harry looks ashamed*
Harry: I know . . .
*Hermione looks outraged*
Hermione: You're sleeping with him, too?!
Lee: Oh, shut up! Now, I want you to do it like . . . *pulls piece of paper from his pocket and looks at it* Ah-ha! Do it like drunken college kids! Action!
*Lee walks off stage*
Hermione: *sways and falls into Seamus* Dude! I know that I've got, like, a det-deten-deten-a punishment, but I am sooo drunk! Whooo!!! *Pretends to take a huge swig from a bottle before falling backwards to sit on the edge of the stage, still drinking*
Seamus: *while Hermione is drinking and falling* Whooo!!!!!! Alpha Beta Kappa Frat rules, man!!! Whoooo!!!!! *lifts up his shirt, laughing like- hey what do you know-a stupid drunk frat guy. Ron and the audience are laughing hysterically*
Harry: *jumps on stage, looking around him frantically before spotting an audience member and running over to them* DUDE!!!! The strippers are here!!!!!! Yeah!!!!
*Harry's pumping his fists energetically as he runs back to the stage, only to trip on the edge and fall on his face while the audience laughs*
Lee: *jumps on stage* Cut, cut, cut!!! *Harry and Hermione get up from the ground and Seamus stops pulling off his shirt and all three walk over to Lee* That was horrible! Pure and absolute crap! Now, I want you to do it like *pulls out a piece of paper form his pocket and glances at it quickly* members of the Real World! ACTION!
*Harry, Hermione, and Seamus look at each other before ducking their heads and trying not to laugh. Harry hurries offstage and Hermione pretends to be lounging on a couch or chair or something and Seamus pretends to shoot pool*
Hermione: Seamus, you don't [bleep]ing get it. When it's two-thirty in the morning and you and Harry are drunk and playing pool, I'm trying to do my detention. You don't have any consideration for anyone else in the house. We never get any sleep because you two are always up shouting and laughing. I was assigned another detention tonight because I fell asleep during tonight's detention. And do you know why? I didn't get enough sleep last night and I haven't for the past two weeks.
Seamus: *lazily* Stop being such a dramatic bitch, Hermione.
*Hermione pretends to look shocked. She gets up from the ground and steps to the side*
Hermione: And then, he goes, 'Stop being such a dramatic bitch, Hermione.'
*Hermione steps over and looks at the spot she was just in, pretending to be another roommate*
Hermione: Oh, my God! I can't believe him!
*Harry steps into the scene and walks right up to the camera like he's in a confessional*
Harry: Seamus told me what happened and then Hermione told me what happened. Frankly, I think-and I don't mean to diss Seamus or anything-but I think Hermione was right. I thought about Seamus's and my late-night partying in the house and it's really not fair to the rest of the roommates.
*Hermione comes over and pushes Harry out of the way*
Hermione: *looking angry* I'm like, still heated over Seamus. He has no right to call me a dramatic bitch when he's the one pining away like some lovesick puppy over his boyfriend Ron. He's has given a new definition to 'dramatic'.
*Ron hit the buzzer repeatedly, signaling the end to the game. Lee, Seamus, Harry and Hermione go back to their seats*
Ron: Okay, that was great. Um, a thousand points for everyone. Two thousand for Hermione for revealing Seamus's true feelings about me.
*Hermione grins innocently as the audience laughs*
Seamus: *seductively* Who loves ya, baby? *winks*
Ron: Hahahaha, oh yeah . . . Okay, our next game is . . .
A/N: Okay, I need two more things from you guys. #1: I need a few suggestions for props; and #2: I need suggestions for a scene for Song Titles Only. Also, leave a review! I love hearing what you guys think about the fic!! It's really easy! Just hit that little button right there in the lower left-hand corner. Go ahead! You know you want to . . .