A/N This chapter is dedicated to TheChosen, thank you so much for the
constant encouragement and keeping me going with this story. Happy
Birthday!
~ ~ ~
She's gone
I awoke to find the bed empty next to me, sun hitting the sheets where she should of been sleeping. Frantic at first, I threw the covers off the bed, scanning the room with confusion. I scrambled to put on the pair of discarded boxers and check the bathroom.
I checked every room.
She's gone, and it's not just a trip to the grocery store, her things are gone.
I sighed and fell into a chair. She must have left right after I fell asleep and slipped out unnoticed by even the creatures of the night.
And the one thing dominating my thoughts are the last words she said to me. Was it a lie? Did she just lull me into a false sense of security so it would hurt more?
No, no, no, no. Buffy isn't like that. She wouldn't purposely break my heart and then scatter the pieces so I don't have a hope of pulling myself back together.
That, and I've never known her to say something she didn't mean.
So let's say she does love me.
Doesn't explain to me where she is. Why she would leave. How come I woke up alone.
The night after she accepted my proposal we were laying in bed but neither of us felt the need for sleep. It would be dawn soon anyway and we had nothing planned for the upcoming day but staying right where we were.
We had rolled off each other moments before and had stayed silent waiting for our labored breath to become normal again. I stroked her hair while her head rested on my chest, eyes part way closed.
"Riley." She whispered, rolling her head so that she could meet my gaze. "Promise me you'll never let me wake up alone."
The comment surprised me at first and then I pulled the pieces together. After her first time, Angel had left not only the bed but this plane of existence, and that dick Parker simply ignored her afterwards.
"I promise." I told her and placed a light kiss on the top of her head. She smiled and we both waited for the sun to rise.
So it's funny that now, a few months later, she's gone. I would never use the word hypocrite to describe Buffy, but now I can't think of any other adjective.
I keep telling myself there's an explanation for all of this, but I can't think of a single thing that doesn't keep my chest from tightening up in pain.
~ ~ ~
I finally left the house later that day, but not before the sun had started it's descent. I had no where to go and it was to early to search the cemetery for demons. My feet took me there anyway and I watched as the sun glinted off the tombstones and the soft breeze blew through the tall oaks.
What I should have been doing was calling the gang together and trying to find Buffy. But it would be useless until Willow and Tara got back to cast a locator spell. For now I could stand in the false safety of a graveyard while the sun died above me.
For now I could try to forget how I felt like I was choking on loss.
Feeling the need to move, I walked the familiar path to Spikes crypt. There was always the outside chance he knew something. At this point, even the color of the shirt she was wearing before she left would help.
I pushed the large stone door open and let myself in. Sun streamed through as I left the entrance ajar. If the vampire was irritated with the lighting change in the front room, well, he would have to just live with it. As I walk in, scanning the cobwebs and dust that scatter the stone walls, I wonder if it'll hurt him that she's gone.
He's made it clear countless times that he's obsessed with her. He cried when Dawn died and Tara even told me once that after a particularly bad fight between me and Buffy, she saw him comforting her. Not sure if I believe that though.
Do know for a fact that if it comes down to it, he'll help me track her down.
I carefully pick my through the crypt and climb down to the lower level. It's then that I see that there's clothes strewn over the bed and on the floor. I walk over to the rusted and broken dresser to see that most of everything is gone.
Setting my hands on my hips, I look around and my eyes find a silver necklace jeweled on the floor. It looks feminine, and it's definitely not something Spike would have. I quickly kneel down to where it is, and pick it up so the pendent dangles.
It's a cross, it's a silver cross.
It's Buffy's silver cross.
I drop the necklace like it's burned me. Except the burn isn't from the chain, it's from my chest.
Spike's gone. Buffy's gone.
I'm a fool for not seeing it sooner.
~ ~ ~
She's gone
I awoke to find the bed empty next to me, sun hitting the sheets where she should of been sleeping. Frantic at first, I threw the covers off the bed, scanning the room with confusion. I scrambled to put on the pair of discarded boxers and check the bathroom.
I checked every room.
She's gone, and it's not just a trip to the grocery store, her things are gone.
I sighed and fell into a chair. She must have left right after I fell asleep and slipped out unnoticed by even the creatures of the night.
And the one thing dominating my thoughts are the last words she said to me. Was it a lie? Did she just lull me into a false sense of security so it would hurt more?
No, no, no, no. Buffy isn't like that. She wouldn't purposely break my heart and then scatter the pieces so I don't have a hope of pulling myself back together.
That, and I've never known her to say something she didn't mean.
So let's say she does love me.
Doesn't explain to me where she is. Why she would leave. How come I woke up alone.
The night after she accepted my proposal we were laying in bed but neither of us felt the need for sleep. It would be dawn soon anyway and we had nothing planned for the upcoming day but staying right where we were.
We had rolled off each other moments before and had stayed silent waiting for our labored breath to become normal again. I stroked her hair while her head rested on my chest, eyes part way closed.
"Riley." She whispered, rolling her head so that she could meet my gaze. "Promise me you'll never let me wake up alone."
The comment surprised me at first and then I pulled the pieces together. After her first time, Angel had left not only the bed but this plane of existence, and that dick Parker simply ignored her afterwards.
"I promise." I told her and placed a light kiss on the top of her head. She smiled and we both waited for the sun to rise.
So it's funny that now, a few months later, she's gone. I would never use the word hypocrite to describe Buffy, but now I can't think of any other adjective.
I keep telling myself there's an explanation for all of this, but I can't think of a single thing that doesn't keep my chest from tightening up in pain.
~ ~ ~
I finally left the house later that day, but not before the sun had started it's descent. I had no where to go and it was to early to search the cemetery for demons. My feet took me there anyway and I watched as the sun glinted off the tombstones and the soft breeze blew through the tall oaks.
What I should have been doing was calling the gang together and trying to find Buffy. But it would be useless until Willow and Tara got back to cast a locator spell. For now I could stand in the false safety of a graveyard while the sun died above me.
For now I could try to forget how I felt like I was choking on loss.
Feeling the need to move, I walked the familiar path to Spikes crypt. There was always the outside chance he knew something. At this point, even the color of the shirt she was wearing before she left would help.
I pushed the large stone door open and let myself in. Sun streamed through as I left the entrance ajar. If the vampire was irritated with the lighting change in the front room, well, he would have to just live with it. As I walk in, scanning the cobwebs and dust that scatter the stone walls, I wonder if it'll hurt him that she's gone.
He's made it clear countless times that he's obsessed with her. He cried when Dawn died and Tara even told me once that after a particularly bad fight between me and Buffy, she saw him comforting her. Not sure if I believe that though.
Do know for a fact that if it comes down to it, he'll help me track her down.
I carefully pick my through the crypt and climb down to the lower level. It's then that I see that there's clothes strewn over the bed and on the floor. I walk over to the rusted and broken dresser to see that most of everything is gone.
Setting my hands on my hips, I look around and my eyes find a silver necklace jeweled on the floor. It looks feminine, and it's definitely not something Spike would have. I quickly kneel down to where it is, and pick it up so the pendent dangles.
It's a cross, it's a silver cross.
It's Buffy's silver cross.
I drop the necklace like it's burned me. Except the burn isn't from the chain, it's from my chest.
Spike's gone. Buffy's gone.
I'm a fool for not seeing it sooner.