Stand By
Chapter Five
I can't breathe… The warmth of the water burns my pale skin, turning it a healthy pinkish-red, my long and curling black hair sticking to my back. The air is cool and feels strange, but his hands, oh gods, what the hell is he doing with his hands?
His mouth is wet. Stupid, I know, but it's different than I imagined. I'm sort of a stranger to things like this; all my previous kisses have been dry and all the touches have been soft or friendly or hateful. So to me… oh gods, what is he doing with his hands? What a second, what am I doing with my hands? My eyes widen as his mouth finds the hollow of my throat.
Oh. So that's what they're doing…
What is he doing with his hands? His mouth is wet. How the hell does he know what to do with his hands? His mouth? His skin is scalding, warmer than the water. Are his eyes closed? They were closed a second ago, but I can feel his smirk against my skin. Do I have something on my face? How can h- oh hell. Oh fucking hell.
No pun intended.
My mind races. We came in as Inuyasha predicted, a little after sunset. We offered a few of the coins for a night at the inn and to my embarrassment, Inuyasha made us husband and wife. I can see the logic behind it; it's less expensive than two rooms (it's not like we haven't shared a room before) and it would be- shameful? Embarrassing? Dangerous? I don't know- to not pose as a married couple.
We ate fried shrimp and wheat noodles with a little green tea on the side. Nothing much, but it filled us up. We had set up the room, arguing softly, as to not disturb anyone around us, (a very hard task when it comes to the both of us) about who was going to take the bed. He wanted me to take it. I wanted him to take it. I just gave in because I wanted a bath; the bed could have fit both of us, but let's not even go there.
I set out his sleeping bag. I had gotten a very nice one for him since he could no longer sleep in trees; it's navy blue and has a built in pillow. He pulled the screen from the wall and placed it between us, for privacy. After dusting off my hands, I had announced that I was going to the onsen, the hot springs, to take a bath.
A good, long, and scalding bath is the best remedy for a bad day that I can think of, but a good, long, and scalding bath with a naked Inuyasha is even better.
I know I should stop, I know I should back away and stop touching him, but I can't, just can't… I have to figure out what he's doing with his hands first. Then I'll pull away. Yeah, that's when I'll stop…
His hands shift and dear gods, I know what they're doing now, but I ask you: I've loved this man for at least a decade, so why should I stop? I've watched him change and grow, have children and marry. I've let myself be torn into pieces and mended once again, all at his hands. So what in all the seven hells would possibly make me stop? Not the thought of Kikyou; oh, she doesn't have to know. I don't owe her anything. Michiko and Souta; they already think of me as a second mother and really wouldn't care. Shippou, Sango, Miroku, Hayashi, and Mori; they all hate Kikyou and long for us to be together.
Again, why should we stop? His mouth, his hands, my hands, my heart, our love… His eyes open.
My hand slips and cracks against stone of the hot spring, causing me to hiss in pain. There's a pressure building behind my eyes and I feel the headache coming on, but the instant I jolt up, I realize that I'm alone in the onsen. The water still pools around me softly, the hissing of the water combining with the sound of two women laughing and talking. The sound of clay bowls being clanged together is faint; the pair are probably washing dishes somewhere near here, dipping the dirty bowls into the water run off.
It was a dream?
I'm torn between sighing in relief and screaming in frustration. Relief because then I wouldn't have to face consequences; sure they would be worth it, but was I ready for them? They could tear so many of us apart, and I'm not just talking about me, Inuyasha, and Kikyou. Frustration, because well, who would want to wake up from a dream about the love of their life (please excuse the phrase; I'm in a bad mood) fucking them senseless.
I look up at the sky. The stars are twinkling and dancing on up above, seemingly oblivious to my suffering. For a few moments I try to find familiar constellations, but my mind keeps on going back to his eyes, his brilliant, sparkling eyes, glowing in repressed heat and darkening into a liquid gold mixed with amber…
Gold? Blinking, I look away and back down at my fingertips, which are shriveled up and greatly resemble prunes. I'm reminded of my grandfather. Wisps of the dream float back to me, like the ripples on the water. I duck underneath the surface of the scalding water and decide that yes, his eyes were gold. His hands had claws upon the fingertips and his mouth had fangs and his hair was pale moonlight. But why would I dream of that after a decade? His hanyou form that is.
He's human forever and that is that. The Jewel is purified and there is no possible way to turn him back to the way he was. Bursting out from underneath the water, I wince as my shoulder muscle flares, a quick moment of pain. Looking over onto my back to see if there are bruises or something, my eyes widen to find five, half moon indents upon my shoulder blade. Quickly I look to the inside of my left thigh. They're there too.
Oh shit.
Panicking, but at the same time trying desperately not to, I scurry up out of the scalding water and almost loose my breath as the cool, summer night greets my wet body. I think I must have set a personal record, drying myself and putting myself into my pajamas (a yellow tank top with purple moons on the shorts), gathering up my old clothes and running back to the room.
The servants of this inn, and not to mention the owners, took more than one look at my odd clothing when we first came in. No doubt they thought that I was some type of whore (which I could care less about; so why does it bug me when I'm Inuyasha's wife?), and if they saw me in this… We might be kicked out. Luckily, I move quickly and silently across the wooden floor, my feet making hardly a sound, and no one crosses my path.
The sound of the shoji screen sliding across the floor is a bit loud for my tastes, but it might just be that I'm trying to sneak around. I look into our room and notice Inuyasha is laying on his sleeping bag (I swear there's an dent in it that's shaped exactly like him; I'll have to check on that when I get the time) and I sigh with relief, dropping my clothes next to my huge yellow bag. I'll get them in the morning.
Plopping myself down on the soft, cool sheets, I turn my body almost painfully to take a good look at the marks on my shoulder. Yep, they're definitely from fingernails and definitely from Inuyasha's claws. What his fingernails used to be anyway. I quickly look at the slumbering man again, noticing that he really hasn't moved. Tetsusaiga, though pretty much useless now that he's no longer hanyou, is propped up against the wall, within easy reach just in case something should happen. He did get the sword sharpened years ago, when he was first human, and it's no longer rusted and considered fit to cut only cheese.
After staring intently at his back for several minutes as though I'm trying to bore holes into his back, I give up and quickly move my leg so that I can see the inner thigh. It isn't much problem, since my shorts are so, well, short and I stare at the claw marks.
Kaede told me long ago that my miko powers were only growing. Most miko reach the peak of their powers when they come of age, right around their eighteenth birthday, and continue on with that stride until they either lose their powers along with their virginity, till they become old and can no longer sustain the powers they had in their youth, or when they die. I had a feeling she didn't mean of natural causes.
I never had really known exactly what my powers could be, but I had some inkling. I could fire endless rounds of "spirit arrows" as Miroku had so lovingly dubbed on one of our demon exterminations (long story) and had the huge spirit of a miko. I could heal and use herbs, create barriers and do various other parlor tricks. Some of my powers were darker and should be kept under lock and key.
Maybe this was another of my unknown powers. I have heard Kaede speak of it before, but I can hardly remember it… Wasn't it something to do with the fact that I could slip into worlds made of my own mind that were as powerful as this one? Hadn't Kaede said that it was like meditation, where you leave your body behind and enter a state of calm, only to the extremes? It makes sense. Not to be arrogant, but I'm just not any ordinary monk.
Sighing once again, I shift on my bed and slide beneath the now warm covers. I shudder once and close my eyelids, one hand consciously on my thigh and stroking the claw marks. Made up or not, it was pretty damn confusing, but then again, who had time for normality anymore?
"Bout time you had gotten back. Thought you had drowned or somethin'." Inuyasha gruffs, startling me. I sit bolt upright and prepare to strike something with my clenched fist, but I lower it in the few seconds it takes me to realize that it's only my "husband". I hear the weird noise of him shifting in his sleeping bag, turning my head to see him smirk and watch his violet eyes glitter in the flickering candlelight. I should have known; even if he looked asleep didn't mean he was. He doesn't sleep for more than six or seven hours at a time. Makes him very hard to travel with; I remember it being extremely hard in the beginning.
His glittering eyes make my breath catch. They had glittered when his hand traced patterns on my hip… I suck my breath sharply in and turn to face him, hiding my shoulder and casually resting my hand in front of the claw marks on my inner thigh. It would be highly uncomfortable to talk about that.
"Well, I didn't drown." I cock my head, letting my long, still wet hair slide over my shoulder. Inuyasha's eyes flicker to it unconsciously and I freeze momentarily. I do not like the look in his eyes, predatory and hungry almost. I might be imagining it because it disappears within seconds, but gods! It's annoying really; I feel like I've been divided into two halves recently. Good Kagome wants Inuyasha to stay with Kikyou. Good Kagome wants to live her life by moral standards.
Bad Kagome wonders what the fuck "moral standards" are and wishes Kikyou would die. Again.
Good Kagome pushes Bad Kagome away from the control switch, forcing me to smile and say, "I fell asleep in the bath. I just woke up and realized that you'd probably be worried that I had been captured or something."
The hanyou-turned-human snorts, propping himself on one elbow, looks critically at his fingernails. "Wouldn't worry about it too much. You can take care of your own damn self; I've seen ya blow demons into pieces without breaking a sweat. Besides, it would be highly unlikely for bandits to take you in the middle of a crowded inn."
His logic makes me raise an eyebrow. Bad Kagome tries to take control again but Good Kagome has the reigns held tightly in her hand. Bad Kagome goes off to sulk. "So I don't need your protection anymore?"
"Worryin' isn't the same as protection Kag." He states simply, looking up at me from his fingernails. "Come on, let's get to bed. I don't wanna hear your bitchin' in the morning that ya didn't get enough sleep."
I roll my eyes, but lay down all the same. As soon as I get comfortable, the cool sheets covering my warm body, Inuyasha adds, "And blow out that candle. It's drivin' me freakin' nuts." My eyes, which have been closed and ready to stay that way for the next eight hours, fly open.
"Get your lazy ass up and do it!" I snap. Inuyasha rolls over again and raises an eyebrow, which makes me realize that it's only logical for me. I'm closer and I've just gotten in bed. Sighing in defeat, I roll off my futon and stand up, blowing the object of my frustration out. Then I turn and walk the few steps, looming over Inuyasha, and kick his arm. He still didn't have to wait for me to get comfortable.
Now, I know what I did was stupid, for a few reasons. First reason being that Inuyasha is practically immune to pain, second reason being that he could easily stop me, and third reason being that he could easily get payback. He lashes out quickly, grabbing my other foot (the one that isn't buried painfully in his side) and yanks, pulling me down. I land on my bottom with a rather painful bump.
Inuyasha sits up and grins, tweaking my nose. "Now, that wasn't so painful, was it love?" I try to bite him, but he only laughs and puts a hand over my mouth. He only laughs harder as I struggle against his hold. Angry, I reach forward to pull his hand off my mouth. He moves his hand away and his chuckles die down. He looks at me, his amber gold eyes glittering.
Wait a second…
His hand tangles in my hair. A clawed hand; I can feel the sharp points pressing lightly into my skull. "I knew I should have left that fuckin' light on." He growls huskily before pressing his lips hard against mine. I'm not ready for his wet mouth, his gloriously wet mouth, and gasp in surprise at the feeling, energy rushing through my veins. Before I know it my body pressed against his and I'm touching him back, air rushing in and out of my nose, we can't bear to break apart, his hands, my hands, our love…
Bad Kagome gains power and kicks Good Kagome's goody two shoes self to the moon and let's the world of hands and wet mouths take over.
Rough hands shake me, making my eyes snap open and my hands fly up to hold the arms of whoever is waking me up. Inuyasha's violet, human eyes stare at me, confusion on his face. "You're a little red Kag." He says instead of the normal 'wake up bitch' and puts his large, calloused hand on my forehead, staring intently at my probably bright red face and my wet, dark pink lips. I stare at his mouth, watching it move as he mutters obscenities underneath his breath. More heat rises to my face as Bad Kagome reminds me what his mouth can do…
I push him away and stand up. The sun is barely rising, the rays of early sunrise peeking up over the low hills of the east. He stays kneeling, then asks me quietly, "Kagome, what's that on your back?"
My eyes grow wide with horror. Oh shit. Quickly I dash past him and grab my towel that I had last night, still damp since I hadn't spread it out to dry, and fling it around my shoulders. Inuyasha rises slowly and walks over to me, where I stand shaking, looking at him as though he were some sort of ghost.
It's not that I'm afraid; no, I'm past afraid. I'm terrified. Twice I've fallen asleep without realizing it and been warped into a world where everything is the same as the one I left behind. I could end up dying in the other world, get pregnant in the other world (thank the gods I've always woken up before any of that), contract some rare disease that turns my lips blue and my hair hot pink.
How do I know I'm not just dreaming this up?
"Are you real?" I ask, mortified that my voice cracks. I feel tears starting to slip down my cheeks, salt filling my slightly parted mouth. It has a strange taste that makes me want to vomit.
Inuyasha looks even more confused as he takes a step backwards. I take a step backwards as well. We do this until my back is against the screen and I make it wobble. My shaking hand steadies it so that it won't clatter to the floor and draw someone from outside our room's attention. The man in front of me, obviously seeing an opportunity, grabs my arms and drags me forward, hugging me firmly. I'm half afraid to look up and see if his eyes have become amber gold, if his midnight hair has turned silver.
"I'm real." He whispers, strain in his voice. I look up and see his face, still human thank the gods above, worried. He's trying to protect me, but can't so he worries. I think about his words last night. When had I fallen asleep? When had the dream begun? I don't know. "I'm real Kagome." He whispers again, shaking me lightly. I collapse and my tears flow more freely. I seem to be crying a lot.
Inuyasha falls to the floor with me and rocks my shaking form back and forth, stroking my hair. I cry into him, wailing like a child that has just woken from a nightmare, grateful for his strong, broad shoulder. My hands hold painfully onto his waist and my face rubs against the rough material of his red haori. His hands are warm and they rub small circles against the scratches on my back.
I don't know how long I had cried, but the sun was fully above the horizon and making its way on its daily journey across the sky. I pull away from Inuyasha and see him smile sadly, like he always does. It tears my heart out, just like I'm sure my crying has torn out his. I know I might not be his lover, but I still am his friend, his best friend. I wouldn't want to see him cry (that'd be something) and I'm sure he wouldn't want to see me cry. He's such a bumbling fool when women cry.
A shaky smile makes its way to my face and I let out a feeble laugh at the thought. Inuyasha lets his arms slip from around my body. "Kagome… what's the matter? Did you have a nightmare?" My lip quivers as he looks at me, questioning. A scowl appears on his perfect features. I want it to go away. "Why do you have scratches on your back? What happened to you Kagome?"
"D-don't… ask…" I choke out, grinding the heels of my hands into my eyes and sniffing to clear my nose. "Just…"
His hands pull my hands away, his normal, human hands, with the chipped and short fingernails. He shakes me a little more and asks loudly, "What the fuck happened Kagome?! You have to tell m-"
"Really?!" I yell shrilly, pulling my hands away. No, this is reality, this is the real world; Inuyasha would be too busy fucking my brains out in the world of dreams to argue with me. A sense of security is suddenly overwhelmed by anger. "Why should I have to tell you?! So you can protect me? What if you have to protect me from yourself?" I realize that I've gone to far and shut my mouth quickly, shoving Inuyasha and watching with satisfaction as he falls to the floor.
I don't care. I pull my clothes out of my bag and begin to strip, pulling on my clothes as Inuyasha practically rages behind me. He talks more softly this time, as I pull on my shirt, his voice laced with malice and frustration. "What the hell am I supposed to do Kagome? You tell me that. You wake up cryin', scratches all over your back; fuck, there's even a little bit of blood on your sheets! And then you won't tell me? How is anybody supposed to help you if you can't even explain what goddamned happened?!"
I stare at him, shocked. He's right, but I don't want him to be right! His face is flushed in anger and his fists or clenched, but after few seconds he gives a little roar of frustration, kicking my pillow into the wall, and stalking out of the room. The shoji screen snaps shut behind him.
Ha! I bet you were thinking that I wouldn't pull the same stunt twice… WRONG!! *grins* The plot is developing; we're just barely touching into what the real thing is going to be. So, R&R, tell me what you thought about it, and I'll let Bad Kagome give commentary.