Living Nightmare

Chapter 4: This I Promise You

     OH MY GOD! Chapter 4! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! ::Runs around in circles: I is happy, happy, happy! And I got my first official 100th review! Mega happies! ::jumps around:

    Though... 0 o' no ones seems to have read my special ficlet thing... -__-* That doesn't make me happy... why had no one read it?! :cries silently::

    Oh well... if your intrigued it up here and called... 'Who say's pain ain't fun?'... pleases someone read it... it's full of kinky slashy goodness!

   Ho hum... time for the...

   #~#~#~ REVIEW REPLY~#~#~#

      Jimaine

    This was acutely for Chapter 3. it was your review I took most notice of... I really don't believe it... Gambit! A TREKKIE! There is a god! ::raises hands to the sky:: Hallaluya! I'm so going to have to write that in somewhere... ::cogs start going in her head:: Oh yeah.... that's going to be good! ::giggles insanely::

   I so happy you are enjoying it, it's steadily getting there... but other stuff is now barging in and taking over! There's a war zone in my brain! Every things fighting to come out! But I is working my chuddies off to get this finished  ::makes determined face::... mark my words! It will be completed!

      TKD

      Thank you my lovely! Well now I have my self a Beta reader stuff is coming out faster... it's not the writing that's mostly the problem... it's the spell checking... dame dyslexia! ::shakes fist angrily:: You know most people in my position would just give up... not me! I'm fighting on! Walking softly but carrying big fuck off stick! I love that line ^__^ ... Going along nicely eh? Well I hope you like this ^__^

      Elven

      My dear...Thank you for your services and review. I hope you feel better soon... all my wishes to you at this time... remember... I'm here if you need to talk... ::big mega hugs to you::

      Digigirl-izumi

      HAY NICKY! :waves like a maniac:: You don't mind me calling you Nicky do you? I know what you mean... I always think Kurt looks very Cat-like so I thought it would be adorable for him to act a bit cat-ish... it just works so well! He's too fucking Kute for his own good! Thank you for the Review hope you like!

      Angela

      AH HA! I have converted you! ::sighs:: this is want makes the job worth doing. I feel so happy! ::giggles with gleeful joy:: Well welcome to the S/K lovers society! ::hugs::

   NO! Don't die! Oh... you is playing with me! ::sniggers:: And thank you for your compliment about doing the characters well... keeping the main characters true is a aim of a good writer...

   I look foreword to hearing from you again!

     Ryan

     ::sniggers:: No I don't work for the CIA... I work of MI5! Mwahahahahah! I am British after all ^__^... I like that theory you have... about mental Funnynesses being quirks rather then illnesses.

  As well as the naff dyslexia and Irlen Syndrome... I say that to people and they look at me really funny.... even those who deal with special needs... most people never heard of it... it's to do with colours and how they affect my vision and reading ability... but then the dyslexia makes it three times a difficult... but I don't let it bother me that much and get on with what I love... WRITING!

   Aspergian Mutants! That sound fab! I'm not surprised it had you giggling! And self insert! There is nothing wrong with that dear hart! I've done it plenty of time! What's the point of having an imagination if you don't indulge yourself once in a while!

  I have written a Lord of the rings one... with me in it... not finished yet but its coming along... lost of fun for me...

 Bwahahahaahha! Oh I love that! Getting books thrown at them! LOL!

  Obsessiveness rocks! And so dose Fan gals/guys!

  You should try and get some stuff out its very rewarding when you get people reviewing and telling you hoe much they like your story.

  You get inspired by music to! WOW! Same here... music makes me think of crazy things and the rhythm and pace and even the sound effects give me ideas...

 I know just what you mean about thought slipping out of your mouth... ::sighs:: happens to me all the time... AH NO! You is not horrible! ::Hugs back::

  Ah my friend has alternate personas... A pyro maniac and a gay pasty chef called Ben Dover... she wrote a Metal gear solid fic...

   Rambling is fun! Like a doped up wasp that rambles over your carpet!

  Love to hear from you soon!

    Lord R

     ::LOL:: I know... updating is a big pain in the arse... and thank you so much... I do try so hard to keep the standard up...

     Kiyoshi

      ::blown over by the fantastic review:: WOW! Thank you so much! Kewl! Yaoi obsessed male! And a Kurt lover! I LOVE YOU! ::glomps:: ^__^ How can you not love the fuzz butt! Hay, if you like everything else your so going to love the chapter after this... ::sniggers evilly:: I will keep working  for your enjoyment!

     Anael MarsW

     More now! ^__^ Thankis for review!

     Randomnameofdoom

     Was it really that good? Oh thank you! ::hugs:: A hunting you will go! A hunting you will go! I don't get to go hunting any more -__-* I work in the evenings... and that's the only time I can get on the internet... Hay, if you find any good juice Kurt Fic's out there in the wild vastness of fanfics land, give us a bell would you and let me know... I get so deprived...

   GMTV where showing it over the holidays but stopped... dame them to hell!... but now I've see that they are releasing X-Men: Evo on DVD so I'm going to get it that way... ho hum... speak soon!

      Dark Comet

      ::Hand over a handkerchief:: Don't worry... nothing wrong with a little indulgence now and again... ::smirks:: ... You don't know how many time I wanted the elf to be real so I could take him home and raveg him senseless... Ummmmm.... ::goes off on one::... naked fuzzy elf... ::snaps too:: you know I did a pic of Kurt naked:: There's a link on my bio to my fan art page on Deviaint art... its up there if you wanna have a look... it pretty good.. or so everyone on there tells me...

      Lazerwolf/Phoenix

     Now... :: grins:: I fully respect you opinion and that it's your choice not to like this piticuler genre (I don't think I spelt that right) that I write... but... just for you... and the other people  that have said they wanted me to up date the fic... I will send my next chapter to a Beta post hast...

    Well that's the reviews done... now onto the fic! Tally ho!!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~

This was it, he couldn't put this off any more, it wasn't fair to either of them... and it wasn't right- this situation was tormenting... driving him insane... He was going to do it now, get it over with so they could both move on. He'd say he was sorry but that was the way he felt and nothing was going to change it; he was going to be cruel and heartless. Well... ok, maybe not that, but he wasn't going to get persuaded not to do it either- it had to be done... and sooner rather then later...

Scott Summers mentally syked himself up for one of the hardest things he'd ever done in his life... he'd ran through what he was going to say at least three hundred and one times and was doing it yet again... he leant against his car outside Bayville High and mumbled the dangerous confession to himself... made it sound perfect to his own ears, while passing students gave him odd looks as they heard the young man mumbling stearnly to himself... so off in his own little world that he didn't even notice the group come up behind him...

"Hi Scott!"

"AAAAGH!" The mutant yelped as the reason he was hear arrived. //SHIT! OH GOD!// he thought; he really didn't want to be here! Anywhere but here! He'd gladly be tied up before a charging rhino in a dead-end ally then right here right now! He wanted to run and never look back! He would give his soul to have Quicksilver's speed! Have Alalance bury him under a ton of rubble- hell, he'd even go so far as to pay Blob to sit on him! But instead he steeled himself, regained his composure, swallowing loudly with a sheepish smile.

'Umm... hi, Taryn," He said to the brown-haired girl who had the current status of his girlfriend. "Say- can I... talk to you for a moment... ugh... alone?" Scott said awkwardly, shifting. Uneasily, he ran his hand through his hair as her girlfriends giggled. She smiled

"Sure thing, see you guys later!" She said to her friends; they giggled some more and quickly left the two alone. "So what's up?" she asked, cheerfully gazing up at the handsome young man. He cleared his throat.

"Umm- do you think we could go somewhere a little more private? I have something really important to tell you."

"Kay," She chirped and she began to walk over to the large clump of secluded, shady trees where a bench nestled in the dappled darkness, away from the main building and far from anyone that might take a fancy to evesdropping.

"Y-you might wanna sit down..." The girl quirked an eyebrow.

"Sounds a bit ominous..." she said, taking a seat. Scott nervously sat down beside her, looking down at the grass, his hands clasped in front of him to stop them from fidgeting.

"Taryn- I have... something to tell you..."

"Sounds even more ominous..." she said flatly, not at all liking where this was going. Scott knew he had to get this over with... he was become sick from all this stalling... what was better? Big Barny bust up and have her hate me for a little while... or string her along and give her false hope for something that would never happen... and have her hate me for ever and ever...? Taryn was a lovely girl, and he really did like her... but he just didn't see her like that... he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and spoke slowly... choosing his words very carefully... Everything he had rehearsed earlier had already gone completely out of his head.

"The truth is- is- I have... feelings for... someone- someone else." There, he'd said it. Now that was over... now came the tricky bit. "And... I- I think it... would be best if- if we sort of... went our seperate ways?" he tried.

"What?" she said blankly, in a tone that said she clearly couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I'm really sorry Taryn- I really don't want to hurt you."

"Well, it's a bit late for that! You just did!" she hissed angrily. She got up, ready to storm off and leave him sitting there but then on an impulse rounded back on him. A hurt yet somehow venomous sneer appeared on her pretty face. "I know what this is about! You're breaking up with me to go out with that bitch Jean Gray aren't you!"

"Wha?!" he spluttered, jumping up to defend himself. "Jean? Ugh, NO!" He looked completely disgusted by the idea.

"Well who then, humm?! That Goth?!"

"Taryn...!" he said, moving closer, trying to use calming hand motions to cool her down.

"OH please don't tell me it's that horrid valley girl?!"

"Will you listen!" he yelled. "I'm not leaving you for any of them!"

"Who then! Who and what can this mystery girl," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm and bitterness, "give you that I can't?!"

"For God's sake! I'm not leaving you for another girl!" he snapped.

Taryn opened her mouth to shout some more obscenities at her ex when her brain latched onto something; she frowned for a moment.

"Hang on." She frowned and wet her lips in thought. "You said you're in love with someone else- but you're NOT leaving me for another girl." She clarified to make sure she heard correctly... and looked up to see the sudden look of crazed panic on the young man's face; he backed up a few paces like she just struck him, swallowing noisily and now as white as a just-washed bedsheet. She raised an eyebrow, a look of blankness speading on her face as he did everything but deny what the statement implied. "Scott. Are you telling me... that- you're..." Scott swore loudly, realizing she'd figured it out.



"Oh God! Please! Please, don't hate me, Taryn! I'm- I'm so, so sorry! I really didn‚t want to hurt you! I didn't... This is hard enough for me as it is!"

"You're... gay?" she stated calmly. The mutant looked like he was about to keel over from panic.

"Ummm... actually, I think- OH! I don't know anymore!" he cried in desperation, his hand combing feverishly throught his hair. "Please, Taryn! I'm begging you! Please don't tell anyone! Y-you're the only one that knows!" he babbled, his expression one pleading for mercy. "If- if this got out... I- I..."

"And- you're... in love with- another guy," she said in the same calm, monotonous voice, rapidly blinking. He was in the shit now... he couldn't hide it anymore.



"Yes," he sighed in defeat, hanging his head, unable to meet her eyes. "I'm so sorry... I-I didn't want to hurt you by stringing you along while I was pining after someone else- it wouldn't be right! I'm trying to do what's best here! Taryn, I'll do anything if you promise not to let this out..." he begged, looking back up, staring pleadingly, desperately, at her... when she did nothing but stare back blankly he dropped his gaze and began chewing his lip, waiting for the onslaught of abuse and hateful remarks he was bound to get.

With his eyes on the grass, Scott missed the huge grin that slowly began to spread over the girls face. She slowly made her way over to the distressed young man.

"How long have you felt this way about him?" she asked as if she were asking him what sauce he liked on his chips, no trace of anger or disgust present. Scott guessed she deserved an answer- at least she wasn't yelling at him anymore; that was a good sign, wasn't it?

"I guess ever since I meet him- though... I thoroughly denied it for ages. I'm so, so sorry," he whimpered.



He sighed, expecting her to leave. But she stayed and placed her hand on his forearm. He looked up and was taken back by the understanding, sympathetic smile on her face.

"Don't be, Scott. As my mother said: you can't help who you fall in love with."

"Yo- you're not angry?" At that she chuckled.

"Noooo..." she said, patting his arm. Feeling the need to explain by the blatantly confused look on her ex's face, she took him by the arm and gently led him over to the bench and sat them back down. "There's something my mom said to me that I have come to believe: if a guy leaves you for another woman, you should be pissed, but don't be if he leaves you for another man; there's nothing to be ashamed of because you can't compete with that. He's after something you can't give him; it's not your fault and there is nothing you can do about it."



"I... don't believe it." And he really didn't... the most unlikely of people to be compassionate and understanding was being wonderful to his little dilemma. "Are- are you sure, you're, okay with this?"

"Don't worry Scott. Your secret's safe with me." She smiled sincerely. The mutant sighed with relief and leant back on the wooden bench, it suddenly felt like the seven ton weight on his shoulders had finally been lifted.

"Thank you so much- you don't know how relieved I am."

"Ieee can imagine soooo- who's the lucky guy?" she said, moving closer. Scott saw the mischevious twinkle in her eyes- still no hint of malice or hatred, just genuine curiousity.

"Why do you want to know?"



"Umm- well- considering you told me a biggy I should tell you one... do you promise not to tell anyone?" she said quietly.

"Sure; with mutual danger comes mutual safety," he snorted at the irony, still not quite believing she wasn't going tell anyone about him.

"Well I kinda find... male sex..." She had a quick look round to check no one was watching. "...a turn on." Scott nearly fell off the bench.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" he spluttered. She only smiled impishly.



"Yeah- there's nothing like a bit of hot guy on guy action!" she said with a truly perverted grin.



"Oh my God; I really am going to have to watch you now." He shook his head in disbelief. "How come you never said anything about this before?"

"Well it's not something you go round telling people, is it? Especially your supposedly hetro boyfriend," she murmered with a pouting frown.

"I see your point."

"So come on! Now you know you can trust me, spill- who are you after?" Scott studied the girl for a moment, trying to tell if she was just playing with him, but then he was never really any good at that sort of thing so he eventually sighed and leant back on the bench... just thought what the hell; it might do him good to talk to someone.

"Do you know Kurt Wagner?" he asked. Her eyes widened.

"Kurt? The German guy on the gymnastics team? Who lives up at the institution with you?" He nodded in clarification. Taryn pratically squealed in delight, which Scott had never heard her do and found very disturbing...

"Are you... alright?"

"Itss just that- oh!" She smiled brightly, her hands clasped together at her chest in sheer delight. "I can see it now! Hope you don't mind me saying, but I've seen him do those stunts with the equipment- I mean... wow, he has a great body, and he's really cute! With those dark eyes, hair and pale skin make him really... I don't know... exotic!"

//you don't know how exotic he really is!//

"Oh and that accent- ah! To die for! He's so softly spoken- Oh you two would make the cutest couple!" she giggled. Scott shook his head at the bizarreness of the situation.

"I can not believe... I'm having this conversation with you!" Scott laughed, running his hand over his face.

"Well that's life," she shrugged. "Anyway. Have you told him?"

"What?"

"That you like him, duh!"



"NO!" Scott yelled, horrified at the thought. "Of course not! I don't even know if he likes guys in that way, let alone me!" Then realising he was in a public place, he glanced round nervously, checking that no one had overheard his outburst. Luckily nobody was around. Taryn though looked thoughtfull.

"Hummm, well he's European and they're all a bit freaky over there, so he just might go in for it, and he's German, so I bet he does," she said in a logical tone.



"That is stereotyping." Scott frowned.

"Have you seen some of the stuff from Germany on cable?!"

"No," he admitted, then gave her a odd look. "...but I have a funny feeling you have."

"The late night smutty German films are the best!" She got this sudden lustful glint and shit eater grin on her face. Scott found it quite scary. "German, such a forceful language," she sighed blissfully.

"And your mother actually lets you watch this stuff?!"

"Well she can't really stop me can she, seeing as she works nights." She giggled, then gasped as an idea hatched inside her head... "You should come round one night! Oh that would be sooo cool! I'll get the popcorn and chocolate and all the other stuff that's bad for you... you get the drinks, and we can stay up and, and... and watch porn together!" she cried gleefully. Scott shot a look round to make sure no one heard that.

"Where the hell did that come from?" he asked her.She sighed and tutted like it was blindingly obvious.



"Gay men need girlfriends to be girl friendly with..."

"And girlfriends watch porn together do they?"

"Hey! Women do actually watch porn..." she said seriously.

"Riiight... next you'll be asking me to come shopping with you..." He regretted saying that the moment it was out of his mouth. The utter delight on the girl's face was worrying.



"That's a great idea!" She squealed again.

"Oh dear god... what have I done?"

"Oh! I know the perfect look to get you!" she said with a confident smile. "Geekier shirts.... better shoes... tighter pants..." she said with a smutty grin and a wiggle of her eyebrows.

"You gotta be kidding me." Scott said flatly.

"NO! I'm serious... just the slight change in your wardrobe would do wonders for you!" she said honestly.



"What's wrong with my cloths?!" he asked, not helping the slightly hurt look in face and sound of his voice.

"Nothing...," she said, soothingly patting his arm. "Buuuut... if you want to woo your crush... I had a thought that perhaps you just might need to break from the norm and catch his eye..." The X-Man leader couldn't help but be intrigued by the idea.

"You think?"

"Yeah! A few little changes... nothing drastic at all!" She smiled brightly. "I can just picture it... once I'm throught with you... Kurt won't be able to keep his hands off you..." she murmered slyly.



"You would do this for me...?"

"Scott... we might not have worked out... romantically... but of course we both now know why that was... I want to be your friend Scott, that if nothing else... it took a lot of courage to tell me this..." Scott couldn't help but stare. This was so wierd- this was the most open, the most relaxed he ever been around the girl, and he like it... a lot...

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive... I like you a lot Scott... you're a kind and considerate gay guy..." She grinned impishly. The mutant snorted.

"Thanks... I owe you Taryn. You could've used the fact I was... gay, to have your ultimate revenge on me. You really are a good Girlfriend." At that the long haired girl laughed happily and startled the young man by throwing her arms round him and giving him a friendly, reassuring hug.

"You're welcome Scott... what are friends for." The young man smiled and gently returned the kind gesture... it felt alright... in fact it felt quite good.



"Hey! You know Scott?" The Brunet said as they released each other. "If it's the last thing I do... I promise to help you and Kurt get together." It was Scott's turn to look blank and confused.

"What?"

"I always wanted to try and do something like this... You know, getting people together. I have a few really great ideas!"

"Yes- well- Oh I don't know Taryn..." Scott didn't sound so sure as he scratched the back of his neck.

"Come on! It'll be fun! And if it works! You get the guy!" The young man still didn't look convinced. "Ugh, this is going to be a challenge... we're going to have to get together and talk this over..."

"Oh alright..." Scott sighed, giving in... who knew... she might actually have a way for him to get his elf...



"Great!" she cried, clapping her hands together. "Say, if you do get together- perhaps one time... if he agrees of course- can I watch?" She asked seriously.

"TARYN!" he shrieked, his eye twitching involuntarily.

"Oh please!" she begged. "Or even better! If he'll go in for it, how about a threesome!!"

"UGH! NO! Fa la la! I'm not listening!" Scott said loudly as he placed his hands over his ears. Taryn laughed at her ex's behaviour and swatted him on the arm.

"Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it!" she laughed in a sing song voice. It was then that the bell rang and signalled for all the students to report to their respective rooms for the beginning of the day and their first tedious lessons.

"Damn it!" Taryn growled. "Just as this little chat was getting good..." She pouted.

"Yeah... heart breaking..." Scott smirked, quite relieved by the distraction.

"Well, don't think you're getting out of it that easily! I'm going to hunt you down at lunch and then we can start planning!" Scott forced himself to smile,

"Can't wait..." though his tone indicated something else.

"Ah you're all negative now! But when I get you your boy, you're going to worship the ground I walk on! I gotta go, see you at lunch Scott!" and with that she stood and trotted off to the main building before she was late.

The X-Men's leader gave an exasperated sigh and slouched low on the bench... after that little chat... he was exausted! And it wasn't even 10 yet! Though he admitted to himself... he felt so much better now he had told someone and gotten it off his chest a little... Scott frowned... he began to wonder: couldn't help but think about what the girl had said... What would it be like to have some watch while he made love to another person? He wondered what it'd be like to feel their eyes hungrily watching every delicate touch, every soft kiss, every violent thrust, hearing every lustful moan, every whimpering sigh, every ragged scream.... he shivered- he kinda... like the idea.

"AGH!" He jumped as he heard the tardy bell ring, it's shrill sound echoing over the empty ground. "Shit!" he yelped and sprinted off to the school.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~

    Ner'ual: Well... come on... wad ya think?

  Scott: ummm...Taryn was a little... OC there wasn't she?

  Ner'ual: well... yeah... but... but... I had to do it! I wanted her to be your confidant and a pervert!

  Scott: Why?!

  Ner'ual: I don't know! ::Runs her hand through hair: I thought it'd be a nice little twist that she wasn't one of the other X-men... and I always though she'd have some dirty little perversion like... like... like...

  Scott: yours?

  Ner'ual: YEAH! ^ v ^

  Scott: -_-* oh good god...

  Ner'ual: Oh don't be like that! ::hits him over the head with her keyboard::

  Scott: OW!

  Ner'ual: it will work! I have it all planed!

  Scott: You and your plans!

  Ner'ual: Shud up! Or you get another hit!

  Scott: 0 . o''

    Ner'ual: I mean... come on! It's always the good quiet one's you got to watch out for! I mean look at you!

  Scott: ME?!

  Ner'ual: Yeah! You! Your after blue elf arse! And you're a goodie good, nerdy boy.

  Scott: SSSSH! Don't tell everybody! ::looks round::

  Ner'ual: (0 .o)' ::looks out at readers and back at the X-man::  Scott... everybody knoooooowwws!

  Scott: NO! Nobody knows Except you, me and Taryn!

  Ner'ual: Yeah... you keep believing that, luv... -__-* Don't worry people... ::whispers:: its just the stress of no sex... no worries... I'll think of another pervy dream he could have... at the most inopportune time... like in class... or in the danger room... Mwhahahahahahhahahahahahh!

  Scott: This woman is cruel and heartless...

  Ner'ual: Thank you... took many years to get like this..."

   Now.... big, big shout out to my darling new Beta reader that has taken over from Gray Elven-eye's! Hope things get better soon sweet hart... my luv to you...

   Eileen!! ::hug:: you are a diamond! She has come to me like a knight in shining armour!

   Luv

 Ner'ual Say'lar ^_^ \,,/