The YuYu Hakusho yaoi fanfic of DOOM!
Disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho, or any other entities mentioned herein. I do however own the yeti from the pop tarts commercial, that's right, you heard it here.
Last time: The YYH gang went and wasted a perfectly good day at the mall. Oh the horror! Oh the humanity! Oh the Batman and Simpsons references! We also learned that the saint beasts work on a really small budget, and they captured Mr. Bobo(Botan's freakin monkey god, refer to chapter one). Finally ogre dressed like a Keiko Nixon to elude an angry Koenma. HE IS NOT A CROOK!
`
Yuske: Have you guys noticed that this story has no point?
Kurama: From the moment it started.
Kuwabara: I think that it really does have some point, but we have to look really hard to find it.
Max Power: Who cares about this story's point? I am here and that's all that maters!
Kuwabara: Who are you?
Max Power: I am Hiei, but in the last chapter I killed Homer Simpson and now I get to be Max Power!
Yuske: Well this is too confusing, can't you just be Hiei again?
Max Power: Fine but I still get to wear this costume.
So with that Max Power mysteriously changed back into Hiei! Wow I really thought that Max Power joke would have stayed funnier a lot longer than that, oh well there's bad writing for you.
Hiei: Once again Hiei reigns supreme! Tremble in fear of my mighty woodchuck powers!
Yuske: What the hell? You're the one who's supposed to make sense around here!
Kurama: Actually that's me.
Yuske: Your right, my mistake.
Kuwabara: Did anyone notice that this story has even less of a point now than it did a page ago?
Kurama: Really I was convinced that it couldn't possibly have less of a point.
Hiei: Maybe it would all make sense if something dramatic were suddenly to happen.
`
Suddenly Koenma appeared!
Koenma: I need a diaper change!
Hiei: That's not what I meant.
`
Suddenly Botan appeared!
Botan: I'm off to liberate the village of cheese sandwiches! Everybody grab a gun and follow me!
Kurama: I don't think that was it either.
`
Suddenly Keiko appeared! Covered in blood!
Keiko: Yuske you've got to help me.
Kuwabara: I guess this one will do.
Yuske: Keiko what happened?!
Keiko: I went out looking for that eyeball salesman, and when I found him I challenged him to a fight.
Kurama: Should she really be talking if she's so injured?
Hiei: Shut up! I want to hear the story.
Keiko: . I tried to punch him for selling me bad eyes, but he used his "super makes you go ouchies attack!" on me.
Yuske: You'd better not talk so much Keiko, you'll be ok if you just lie there and rest.
Keiko: The eyeball salesman was really the leader of the saint beasts Suzaku in disguise. You must go to maze castle and avenge my death.
Kuwabara: Ummmm but you're not dead yet.
Keiko: Sure I am! Now shut up and go avenge me!
Yuske: Alright you heard the corpse, now lets go to maze castle!
And so with that they set out for maze castle. Instead of using Botan's weird portal thing, the group decided that it would somehow be a better idea to just walk over there. So since they had little else to do, they headed that way.
`
Meanwhile. Over at maze castle, evil was afoot!
a foot: I'll not even dignify that with a response you twit.
Fine you can just be like that you damned foot! I'll go over and watch the saint beasts while you sit there and.umm.do foot things!
a foot: Real smooth. You sure do have a way with those insults. I can't believe that I actually agreed to star in a horrid fanfic like this. You truly are a moron!
RAR!!!!!!! Now you die foot!
POW!
BLAM!
CRACK!
YAHHHHH!!!!!
PANTS!
x_x
Due to massive blood loss and multiple broken bones, a foot will not be appearing in this story until it's condition drops down from critical to stable and the six month physical rehabilitation is complete. Now the saint beasts!
Suzaku: Why have those humans not shown up yet? Do they think that they can make a fool of me? Suzaku? Leader of the saint beasts?
Genbu: That must be it exactly master!
Suzaku: What, aren't you going to have a fancy entrance this time? I know for a fact that we only spent $4.95 this chapter, and that was just on a diet soda, a croissant, and a blank video tape, and all of those were for the author! I demand that you leave now and not return without some sort of fancy and exciting entrance!
Genbu: As you wish.
So Genbu left.
And then Genbu burst from the floor with a big whooshing sound! And he was wearing a tuxedo, and a top hat, and he had a fancy cane. Gasp he's that guy that does all those big Vegas shows!
Genbu: And now my song and dance number begins!
Genbu singing: I want chicken, I want liver, Meow Mix Meow Mix please deliver.
Suzaku:?????
Genbu: Tada!
Suzaku: I think that we really need to get you some counseling Genbu. But on a side note, if this world domination thing doesn't work out, we could always start a rock band.
Genbu: Yes master that is an excellent idea, but what would we call our band?
Suzaku: Why "The not-alive Dead" of course.
Genbu: But why master?
Suzaku: Don't try to think, just agree.
Genbu: Yes sir.
Suzaku: Back to what I was saying about a page ago, where are those humans? You don't think that they're out liberating that sandwich village we captured a month ago, do you?
Genbu: Of course not, how would they ever learn about that anyways? Wait a second! Do you think that Byako is convinced that he's the Riddler again?
Suzaku: He might have left them a clue! Oh well lets just try to forget that, cheer me up Genbu. Tell me how the prisoner interrogation is going.
Genbu: We are currently dangling Mr. Bobo above a shark tank using a very small rope. Unfortunately we don't have any sharks to put in the tank, but I did glue a fin to Seriyu's head and threw him in. So all should work as planned.
Suzaku: Naturally. And on that note let's laugh evilly!
Both: Mra ha ha ha! Mra ha ha ha ha! Mra ha ha ha ha ha! Mra ha ha cough cough ha ha!
`
Elsewhere.
Kuwabara: Lets go kick their asses!
Yuske: Yeah and we'll avenge Keiko's death too!
Keiko: That's right, go avenge me!
Kurama: I fail to see how we can go avenge your death when you are still alive.
Keiko: Are you blind? Do you not see the X's where my eyes should be? Or this realistic looking blood all over me? Or this sign I'm carrying that says "this is what a dead Keiko looks like"?
Kurama: I'm sorry, I've just always been a skeptic.
Hiei: I really don't care if your alive or dead, I'm just glad that I can finally follow this plot.
Kurama: You're the only one.
`
Back in spirit world.
Botan: It looks as though they are finally headed to maze castle.
Koenma: Well it certainly took long enough! It is a shame that we had to trick them all like that.
Botan: I agree with you sir, but one question.
Koenma: What?
Botan: Who's going to tell them that they're going in the wrong direction?
To Be Continued.
And then it went from bad to worse. What do Koenma and Botan mean that they tricked Yuske and co.? Is Suzaku really the eyeball salesman? Why has writers block chosen to attack me now? I don't know! Hopefully the next chapter will be more random but less pointless. My thankfulness shall be shown next time also!
Disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho, or any other entities mentioned herein. I do however own the yeti from the pop tarts commercial, that's right, you heard it here.
Last time: The YYH gang went and wasted a perfectly good day at the mall. Oh the horror! Oh the humanity! Oh the Batman and Simpsons references! We also learned that the saint beasts work on a really small budget, and they captured Mr. Bobo(Botan's freakin monkey god, refer to chapter one). Finally ogre dressed like a Keiko Nixon to elude an angry Koenma. HE IS NOT A CROOK!
`
Yuske: Have you guys noticed that this story has no point?
Kurama: From the moment it started.
Kuwabara: I think that it really does have some point, but we have to look really hard to find it.
Max Power: Who cares about this story's point? I am here and that's all that maters!
Kuwabara: Who are you?
Max Power: I am Hiei, but in the last chapter I killed Homer Simpson and now I get to be Max Power!
Yuske: Well this is too confusing, can't you just be Hiei again?
Max Power: Fine but I still get to wear this costume.
So with that Max Power mysteriously changed back into Hiei! Wow I really thought that Max Power joke would have stayed funnier a lot longer than that, oh well there's bad writing for you.
Hiei: Once again Hiei reigns supreme! Tremble in fear of my mighty woodchuck powers!
Yuske: What the hell? You're the one who's supposed to make sense around here!
Kurama: Actually that's me.
Yuske: Your right, my mistake.
Kuwabara: Did anyone notice that this story has even less of a point now than it did a page ago?
Kurama: Really I was convinced that it couldn't possibly have less of a point.
Hiei: Maybe it would all make sense if something dramatic were suddenly to happen.
`
Suddenly Koenma appeared!
Koenma: I need a diaper change!
Hiei: That's not what I meant.
`
Suddenly Botan appeared!
Botan: I'm off to liberate the village of cheese sandwiches! Everybody grab a gun and follow me!
Kurama: I don't think that was it either.
`
Suddenly Keiko appeared! Covered in blood!
Keiko: Yuske you've got to help me.
Kuwabara: I guess this one will do.
Yuske: Keiko what happened?!
Keiko: I went out looking for that eyeball salesman, and when I found him I challenged him to a fight.
Kurama: Should she really be talking if she's so injured?
Hiei: Shut up! I want to hear the story.
Keiko: . I tried to punch him for selling me bad eyes, but he used his "super makes you go ouchies attack!" on me.
Yuske: You'd better not talk so much Keiko, you'll be ok if you just lie there and rest.
Keiko: The eyeball salesman was really the leader of the saint beasts Suzaku in disguise. You must go to maze castle and avenge my death.
Kuwabara: Ummmm but you're not dead yet.
Keiko: Sure I am! Now shut up and go avenge me!
Yuske: Alright you heard the corpse, now lets go to maze castle!
And so with that they set out for maze castle. Instead of using Botan's weird portal thing, the group decided that it would somehow be a better idea to just walk over there. So since they had little else to do, they headed that way.
`
Meanwhile. Over at maze castle, evil was afoot!
a foot: I'll not even dignify that with a response you twit.
Fine you can just be like that you damned foot! I'll go over and watch the saint beasts while you sit there and.umm.do foot things!
a foot: Real smooth. You sure do have a way with those insults. I can't believe that I actually agreed to star in a horrid fanfic like this. You truly are a moron!
RAR!!!!!!! Now you die foot!
POW!
BLAM!
CRACK!
YAHHHHH!!!!!
PANTS!
x_x
Due to massive blood loss and multiple broken bones, a foot will not be appearing in this story until it's condition drops down from critical to stable and the six month physical rehabilitation is complete. Now the saint beasts!
Suzaku: Why have those humans not shown up yet? Do they think that they can make a fool of me? Suzaku? Leader of the saint beasts?
Genbu: That must be it exactly master!
Suzaku: What, aren't you going to have a fancy entrance this time? I know for a fact that we only spent $4.95 this chapter, and that was just on a diet soda, a croissant, and a blank video tape, and all of those were for the author! I demand that you leave now and not return without some sort of fancy and exciting entrance!
Genbu: As you wish.
So Genbu left.
And then Genbu burst from the floor with a big whooshing sound! And he was wearing a tuxedo, and a top hat, and he had a fancy cane. Gasp he's that guy that does all those big Vegas shows!
Genbu: And now my song and dance number begins!
Genbu singing: I want chicken, I want liver, Meow Mix Meow Mix please deliver.
Suzaku:?????
Genbu: Tada!
Suzaku: I think that we really need to get you some counseling Genbu. But on a side note, if this world domination thing doesn't work out, we could always start a rock band.
Genbu: Yes master that is an excellent idea, but what would we call our band?
Suzaku: Why "The not-alive Dead" of course.
Genbu: But why master?
Suzaku: Don't try to think, just agree.
Genbu: Yes sir.
Suzaku: Back to what I was saying about a page ago, where are those humans? You don't think that they're out liberating that sandwich village we captured a month ago, do you?
Genbu: Of course not, how would they ever learn about that anyways? Wait a second! Do you think that Byako is convinced that he's the Riddler again?
Suzaku: He might have left them a clue! Oh well lets just try to forget that, cheer me up Genbu. Tell me how the prisoner interrogation is going.
Genbu: We are currently dangling Mr. Bobo above a shark tank using a very small rope. Unfortunately we don't have any sharks to put in the tank, but I did glue a fin to Seriyu's head and threw him in. So all should work as planned.
Suzaku: Naturally. And on that note let's laugh evilly!
Both: Mra ha ha ha! Mra ha ha ha ha! Mra ha ha ha ha ha! Mra ha ha cough cough ha ha!
`
Elsewhere.
Kuwabara: Lets go kick their asses!
Yuske: Yeah and we'll avenge Keiko's death too!
Keiko: That's right, go avenge me!
Kurama: I fail to see how we can go avenge your death when you are still alive.
Keiko: Are you blind? Do you not see the X's where my eyes should be? Or this realistic looking blood all over me? Or this sign I'm carrying that says "this is what a dead Keiko looks like"?
Kurama: I'm sorry, I've just always been a skeptic.
Hiei: I really don't care if your alive or dead, I'm just glad that I can finally follow this plot.
Kurama: You're the only one.
`
Back in spirit world.
Botan: It looks as though they are finally headed to maze castle.
Koenma: Well it certainly took long enough! It is a shame that we had to trick them all like that.
Botan: I agree with you sir, but one question.
Koenma: What?
Botan: Who's going to tell them that they're going in the wrong direction?
To Be Continued.
And then it went from bad to worse. What do Koenma and Botan mean that they tricked Yuske and co.? Is Suzaku really the eyeball salesman? Why has writers block chosen to attack me now? I don't know! Hopefully the next chapter will be more random but less pointless. My thankfulness shall be shown next time also!