The YuYu Hakusho yaoi fanfic of DOOM!
Disclaimer: I don't own YuYu Hakusho, or anything else for that matter. I'm poor!
Last time: Oh hell, I don't even remember what happened in the last chapter. This is the sort of thing that happens when you wait this many months between chapters. I think that everyone went to Maze castle and killed a flying eyeball, I do believe that Botan saved some cheese sandwiches, and I'm sure that Kurama made an attempt at mocking reality television shows. Lets all see what happens now.
`
Hiei: Remember this Kurama, you are not the comic relief. Just let those two idiots take care of such things.
Kuwabara: I think that he's talking about us.
Yusuke: He better not be, I have way too much class to be lumped in with you.
Suzaku: I guess that none of you remember that Genbu and me are here.
Kurama: I'm sorry but it slipped my mind.
Kuwabara: I knew that you were here, but I just wanted to go along with the crowd.
Hiei: You are a complete idiot.
Kuwabara: Stop making fun of me, I just want to be popular!
Yusuke: Hiei's right ya know, you are an idiot!
Kurama: Could we get back to business?
Suzaku: Quite a good idea Kurama, so aren't any of you wondering why the flying baby betrayed you?
Yusuke: Flying baby did what now?
Genbu: Master Suzaku, it's been so long since the last chapter that none of them remember what you are talking about.
Suzaku: Maybe if we speak their language it would help.
Genbu: But I don't know how to speak moron, sir.
\ATTEMPT 1; Plain English.
Suzaku: You have all been sent to your deaths by Koenma because Yusuke wouldn't do what he said.
Kuwabara: Who's Koenma? Is he the pizza guy?
Suzaku: You know, the baby with the ogre?
Yusuke: Not a clue.
\ATTEMPT 2; Rapper speak.
Suzaku: Yo fo shizzel my nizzel!
Yusuke: Hey yo now just wait one minizzel!
Kuwabara: Random insult about the white man!
\ATTEMPT 3; The Dr. Scholls commercial.
Genbu: Hey who's jellin?
Yusuke: I'm jellin!
Kuwabara: Me too.
Suzaku: I'm jellin like a felon.
Yusuke: Want some melon Helen?
Kurama: My names not Helen.
Genbu: Are you jellin?
Hiei: I refuse to play your stupid little game.
`
About three hours later.
\ATTEMPT 47; Riverdance!
Hiei: How does this help anyone?!
Yusuke: Who knows, just keep moving your feet.
Suzaku: All right, I give up! If after all of this you all still don't understand, then there's no way that I can explain it!
Kuwabara: Explain what? About how Koenma hates us all?
Suzaku: You mean that you understand?
Kuwabara: Well of course I understand, it's not like I'm an idiot!
All but Kuwabara: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha *pees pants.
Kuwabara: You guys are being really mean! Now I'm sure that none of you are my friends!
Genbu: I'd think that you would have figured that out a long time ago.
Hiei: So does this mean that we don't get invitations to your birthday party, Kuwabaka?
Yusuke: Kuwabaka? Where did you learn that Hiei?
Hiei: Oh I just overheard some fangirls talking.
Kurama: This looks enjoyable, maybe even I shall get in on the mocking of Kuwabara.
Kuwabara: Geez now everyone's against me. I guess that I really do have only one true friend in this world *reaches into pants.
Hiei: I really hope that he's not talking about what I think.
Kuwabara then pulled his hands out of his pants to reveal a little kitten.
Hiei: Well that certainly is a relief.
Yusuke: Kuwabara, why did you have a cat in your pants?
Kuwabara: Well I really like cats, so I always have to have one nearby. I feel safe when I have a kitten around.
Kurama: And you always keep it in your pants?
Kuwabara: Well where else would I keep it? In my hair?
Yusuke: I think that all the times that we were mean to him did some serious damage, Kuwabara's gone crazy! *motions at Kuwabara.
Kuwabara: All right that's enough excitement for you cat, back in the pants you go! Be good and I'll read you a story later.
Genbu: I see what you mean.
Suzaku: Is it really safe or sanitary to let him keep a small animal in his pants?
Kuwabara: reading to his pants; ...I would not like it in a box, I would not like it with a fox, I would not like it in the air, I would not like it anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like you Sam I am.
Suddenly a large black van pulled up,(yes it pulled up right to the top of the main tower in the castle) on the side of the van it said PETA. Two men in suits got out of the van and walked up to our heroes.
Guy #1: Hello, I am random investigator guy and this is my partner random other investigator guy.
Guy #2: Is there a Kazuma Kuwabara here?
Kuwabara: That's me.
Guy #1: We are from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
Kuwabara: So what?
Guy #2: So we are placing you under arrest for your horrible mistreatments of cats, namely the one in your pants right now.
Kuwabara's pants: Meow!
Kuwabara was then handcuffed and loaded into the van. The van drove through the wall and flew away, never to be seen again.
Yusuke: Well that's all well and good, but how did the PETA find out about Kuwabara?
Hiei: I certainly don't know. *laughs evilly to himself.
Kurama: It was a little too convenient if you ask me.
Yusuke: You're not complaining, are you?
Kurama: Good point.
Genbu: Well let us thank the PTA for their generous contributions to this story.
Yusuke: Don't you mean the PETA?
Genbu: And what did I say?
Yusuke: The PTA.
Genbu: Exactly! My genius is what legends are made of!
Hiei: So when exactly was it that you turned into this story's token moron?
Genbu: When Kuwabara was forcibly removed from the story.
Suzaku: Well you all seem to be much more civil towards Genbu and I, shall I take this as a sign that you have forgiven us for our past wrongdoings?
Yusuke: Hell of course! You guys are great company, and well, your both old enough to buy me beer!
Kurama: Well I like pretty much everyone, so you both are fine.
Hiei: I'm just glad that this story has finally started back up. Also the author promised to put my name in the chapter title.
Kurama: Really?
Hiei: Yep, isn't that right author?
FROM NOWHERE INPARTICULAR!!!!!!!!!!
Tsuni: That's right little mister stabby-kins.
Hiei: Why don't you call me that one more time... mutter mutter...
Tsuni: What was that Hiei-kun?
Hiei: Nothing! Oh the horrid price of stardom.
Yusuke: Well now that we are all friends, and we all agree that Koenma is stupid piece of crap
Genbu: And that Keiko is the antichrist!
Yusuke: Yes and that Keiko is the antichrist. We must formulate our plans for revenge.
Kurama: We could send them bad pizza.
Genbu: Or TP their houses!
Hiei: Or we could cut off their limbs and hang their bodies from hooks.
silence.......... chirp chirp chirp, SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BASTARD, I SAID SILENCE!
Hiei: Hey I can do whatever I want, right author?
FROM THE EXACT SAME NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!
Tsuni: Go wild Goldilocks!
Hiei: Good, then the bodily dismemberment it shall be.
Suzaku: Well I have an even better idea!
Yusuke: Which is?
Suzaku: Lets go put Jin in this story and make some prank calls!
GASP! Let us act as if he just said something important, que the dramatic music!
There is nothing but silence for the next few minutes until a very confused author looks around and sees a note hanging there on the wall.
The note: Deer author person. You kiked me out of this storie, so no you have nowone tu do your music. Maybe if you was not so cheep you would have goten a reel sound gay. Go too heel and kill yous self. Signed Kazuma Kuwabara.
Wow. Out of that whole thing only his name wuz speeled write. Damnit now he has me doing it too!
I guess that I'll have to do the dramatic music my self!
BAAM BAAM BAAAAAAAAAAM! BAAM BAMM!
All but Suzaku: All right! Now let's go do it!
`
To Be Continued.
All right! It feels good to be working on this story again, and by working on I mean butchering in indescribable ways! My writer's block should be shown through the bad punctuation and terrible plot development. But that's all okay because this is an "of doom" fic, so expectations are already pleasantly low.
Many thanks to all who still follow this story and keep your eyes open for the final chapter.
Hiei: I had better get a better role next time! I am your favorite character right?
Tsuni: Of course you are. But not before Koto and Juri and Yukina and Puu...
Hiei: WHAT!? I scored lower that poo?
Tsuni: No, you scored lower than Puu.
Hiei: Same thing!
Disclaimer: I don't own YuYu Hakusho, or anything else for that matter. I'm poor!
Last time: Oh hell, I don't even remember what happened in the last chapter. This is the sort of thing that happens when you wait this many months between chapters. I think that everyone went to Maze castle and killed a flying eyeball, I do believe that Botan saved some cheese sandwiches, and I'm sure that Kurama made an attempt at mocking reality television shows. Lets all see what happens now.
`
Hiei: Remember this Kurama, you are not the comic relief. Just let those two idiots take care of such things.
Kuwabara: I think that he's talking about us.
Yusuke: He better not be, I have way too much class to be lumped in with you.
Suzaku: I guess that none of you remember that Genbu and me are here.
Kurama: I'm sorry but it slipped my mind.
Kuwabara: I knew that you were here, but I just wanted to go along with the crowd.
Hiei: You are a complete idiot.
Kuwabara: Stop making fun of me, I just want to be popular!
Yusuke: Hiei's right ya know, you are an idiot!
Kurama: Could we get back to business?
Suzaku: Quite a good idea Kurama, so aren't any of you wondering why the flying baby betrayed you?
Yusuke: Flying baby did what now?
Genbu: Master Suzaku, it's been so long since the last chapter that none of them remember what you are talking about.
Suzaku: Maybe if we speak their language it would help.
Genbu: But I don't know how to speak moron, sir.
\ATTEMPT 1; Plain English.
Suzaku: You have all been sent to your deaths by Koenma because Yusuke wouldn't do what he said.
Kuwabara: Who's Koenma? Is he the pizza guy?
Suzaku: You know, the baby with the ogre?
Yusuke: Not a clue.
\ATTEMPT 2; Rapper speak.
Suzaku: Yo fo shizzel my nizzel!
Yusuke: Hey yo now just wait one minizzel!
Kuwabara: Random insult about the white man!
\ATTEMPT 3; The Dr. Scholls commercial.
Genbu: Hey who's jellin?
Yusuke: I'm jellin!
Kuwabara: Me too.
Suzaku: I'm jellin like a felon.
Yusuke: Want some melon Helen?
Kurama: My names not Helen.
Genbu: Are you jellin?
Hiei: I refuse to play your stupid little game.
`
About three hours later.
\ATTEMPT 47; Riverdance!
Hiei: How does this help anyone?!
Yusuke: Who knows, just keep moving your feet.
Suzaku: All right, I give up! If after all of this you all still don't understand, then there's no way that I can explain it!
Kuwabara: Explain what? About how Koenma hates us all?
Suzaku: You mean that you understand?
Kuwabara: Well of course I understand, it's not like I'm an idiot!
All but Kuwabara: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha *pees pants.
Kuwabara: You guys are being really mean! Now I'm sure that none of you are my friends!
Genbu: I'd think that you would have figured that out a long time ago.
Hiei: So does this mean that we don't get invitations to your birthday party, Kuwabaka?
Yusuke: Kuwabaka? Where did you learn that Hiei?
Hiei: Oh I just overheard some fangirls talking.
Kurama: This looks enjoyable, maybe even I shall get in on the mocking of Kuwabara.
Kuwabara: Geez now everyone's against me. I guess that I really do have only one true friend in this world *reaches into pants.
Hiei: I really hope that he's not talking about what I think.
Kuwabara then pulled his hands out of his pants to reveal a little kitten.
Hiei: Well that certainly is a relief.
Yusuke: Kuwabara, why did you have a cat in your pants?
Kuwabara: Well I really like cats, so I always have to have one nearby. I feel safe when I have a kitten around.
Kurama: And you always keep it in your pants?
Kuwabara: Well where else would I keep it? In my hair?
Yusuke: I think that all the times that we were mean to him did some serious damage, Kuwabara's gone crazy! *motions at Kuwabara.
Kuwabara: All right that's enough excitement for you cat, back in the pants you go! Be good and I'll read you a story later.
Genbu: I see what you mean.
Suzaku: Is it really safe or sanitary to let him keep a small animal in his pants?
Kuwabara: reading to his pants; ...I would not like it in a box, I would not like it with a fox, I would not like it in the air, I would not like it anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like you Sam I am.
Suddenly a large black van pulled up,(yes it pulled up right to the top of the main tower in the castle) on the side of the van it said PETA. Two men in suits got out of the van and walked up to our heroes.
Guy #1: Hello, I am random investigator guy and this is my partner random other investigator guy.
Guy #2: Is there a Kazuma Kuwabara here?
Kuwabara: That's me.
Guy #1: We are from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
Kuwabara: So what?
Guy #2: So we are placing you under arrest for your horrible mistreatments of cats, namely the one in your pants right now.
Kuwabara's pants: Meow!
Kuwabara was then handcuffed and loaded into the van. The van drove through the wall and flew away, never to be seen again.
Yusuke: Well that's all well and good, but how did the PETA find out about Kuwabara?
Hiei: I certainly don't know. *laughs evilly to himself.
Kurama: It was a little too convenient if you ask me.
Yusuke: You're not complaining, are you?
Kurama: Good point.
Genbu: Well let us thank the PTA for their generous contributions to this story.
Yusuke: Don't you mean the PETA?
Genbu: And what did I say?
Yusuke: The PTA.
Genbu: Exactly! My genius is what legends are made of!
Hiei: So when exactly was it that you turned into this story's token moron?
Genbu: When Kuwabara was forcibly removed from the story.
Suzaku: Well you all seem to be much more civil towards Genbu and I, shall I take this as a sign that you have forgiven us for our past wrongdoings?
Yusuke: Hell of course! You guys are great company, and well, your both old enough to buy me beer!
Kurama: Well I like pretty much everyone, so you both are fine.
Hiei: I'm just glad that this story has finally started back up. Also the author promised to put my name in the chapter title.
Kurama: Really?
Hiei: Yep, isn't that right author?
FROM NOWHERE INPARTICULAR!!!!!!!!!!
Tsuni: That's right little mister stabby-kins.
Hiei: Why don't you call me that one more time... mutter mutter...
Tsuni: What was that Hiei-kun?
Hiei: Nothing! Oh the horrid price of stardom.
Yusuke: Well now that we are all friends, and we all agree that Koenma is stupid piece of crap
Genbu: And that Keiko is the antichrist!
Yusuke: Yes and that Keiko is the antichrist. We must formulate our plans for revenge.
Kurama: We could send them bad pizza.
Genbu: Or TP their houses!
Hiei: Or we could cut off their limbs and hang their bodies from hooks.
silence.......... chirp chirp chirp, SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BASTARD, I SAID SILENCE!
Hiei: Hey I can do whatever I want, right author?
FROM THE EXACT SAME NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!
Tsuni: Go wild Goldilocks!
Hiei: Good, then the bodily dismemberment it shall be.
Suzaku: Well I have an even better idea!
Yusuke: Which is?
Suzaku: Lets go put Jin in this story and make some prank calls!
GASP! Let us act as if he just said something important, que the dramatic music!
There is nothing but silence for the next few minutes until a very confused author looks around and sees a note hanging there on the wall.
The note: Deer author person. You kiked me out of this storie, so no you have nowone tu do your music. Maybe if you was not so cheep you would have goten a reel sound gay. Go too heel and kill yous self. Signed Kazuma Kuwabara.
Wow. Out of that whole thing only his name wuz speeled write. Damnit now he has me doing it too!
I guess that I'll have to do the dramatic music my self!
BAAM BAAM BAAAAAAAAAAM! BAAM BAMM!
All but Suzaku: All right! Now let's go do it!
`
To Be Continued.
All right! It feels good to be working on this story again, and by working on I mean butchering in indescribable ways! My writer's block should be shown through the bad punctuation and terrible plot development. But that's all okay because this is an "of doom" fic, so expectations are already pleasantly low.
Many thanks to all who still follow this story and keep your eyes open for the final chapter.
Hiei: I had better get a better role next time! I am your favorite character right?
Tsuni: Of course you are. But not before Koto and Juri and Yukina and Puu...
Hiei: WHAT!? I scored lower that poo?
Tsuni: No, you scored lower than Puu.
Hiei: Same thing!