Disclaimer: I don't own Tolkien Estates. No infringement intended.

Summary: The tale of how Eä and all of its peoples finally defeated Mary Sue.

Author Note: Another big project for me. Yea... I need to stop giving in to the plotbunnies (evil little buggers that they are). I may take a while updating this as I have two other big projects that I'm working on. I'll try to update as quickly as possible.

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The Battle Against Mary Sue

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The Timeless Halls (1) were shaking in their foundations. The Ainur (2) who had not gone to Eä (3) were hiding. The dead Secondborn (4) who had taken up residence in these halls were running for cover. Eru Ilúvatar (5) himself was slightly afraid. It had come.

This had all started in Arda. It always started in Arda. That was where It always started. But normally It found a way to stay in Arda despite that It was sometimes counted among the Secondborn. But this one was different. Something had happened. Something had messed It up. This should not have been a problem for It though. It always had a whole host of Arda's many creatures and beings at hand to aid It. How had they escaped Its spell. That should have been impossible. None could escape Its enchantment. It could ensnare all with a flick of Its shiny hair.

Eru told all in his Halls to report to the main room. Soon, it was filled with Ainur and Men. "Why have you summoned us Eru?" asked a random nameless Ainu who shall from here on out be known as Bob.

"I have summoned you all to answer the threat if It. It is a poison to all and must be stopped."

"But how shall we stop It. Its kind usually never leaves Arda. We know little about It," Lúthien (6) wondered.

"To defeat It, we must first find out how those in Arda could resist it enough to let It die permanently," Eru replied to his granddaughter (7). With this said, a large picture filled the room. Everything dimmed so that the picture could be seen clearly. And then, the tale of horror began...

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1) The home of Eru Ilúvatar

2) The 'Holy Ones' who sang the world into existence

3) 'Let it be!' The words of Eru Ilúvatar to bring the vision of the Ainur to life; it is now what Arda, Valinor, Tol Eressea, the Sundering Seas, the sky, the stars, and all things in Arda are called as a whole

4) Humans

5) Eru means 'the One' and Ilúvatar means 'All Father'. He created the Ainur. All things in Eä have their utmost origin in him.

6) Lúthien Tinúviel was the fairest of Elven maidens. She was the daughter of Thingol and Melian. She fell in love with a mortal, Beren, and they went on a big quest, wrested a Silmarils from Morgoth's (original evil guy) crown. They died. Lúthien sang before the lord of the dead. He pitied her. They both got sent back as mortals. They died. Elrond is descended from her.

7) Lúthien's mother, Melian the Maia, was of the Ainur. Eru is pretty much the "father" of the Ainur as they are the "children of his thoughts". Therefore, she is Eru's one and only grandchild.