Chapter 1
Author's note: I editted it.. but I kept some of it the same The beginning is the same, but there will be a lot of other changes.
------------
I met Mr. Eiri Yuki at the mall, while we were both reaching down to get the same head phone. I needed it, and it was half price, and since it was the last one. I had no intention of letting it go. He stared at me, I remember how cold his eyes was. And I got scared, so I told him he can have it. He didn't even say "thank you", or "no, please take it", just to be polite. People do stuff like that all the time, saying "no I couldn't." then ended up doing it anyway. No he just nodded his head, then walked toward the paying place.
We then met again in the park, at night. First I mistaken him for a ghost, he made up of my lyrics. I then later found out he is a famous writer, and all that. I was very piss at this.There was something else about him. I don't know what, but I keep thinking about him. I know I told myself not to, but I did it anyway. I moved in with him. It wasn't all that easy, but my annoyingness finally came through and he let me stayed. After about one week, he kicked me out. So I had to move back in with Hiroshi, or better known as Hiro. He is my best friend! We started our band together, and was discovered by Mr. Seguchi Tohma, I call him Seguchi-sama of course. He is my boss. He told us we needed one more person in our band, and so he asked his "cousin" to join us. His name is Suguru, he is a very good key board player.
"Shuichi?" Hm? Hiro's voice..."I got you some food, want some?" He said food!!!
"Sure!" I shouted then jumped onto Hiro's back.
"I am going to break my back some day because of you..." He said, and I grinned at him.
"Pizza!" I shouted again.
"Hey listen, I'll be out of town for a while, do you think you can handle yourself?" Hiro asked, looking very concern.
"What? It not like I'm a kid, I can take care of myself." I replied with the piece of pizza hanging from my mouth.
"Are you sure? You won't mess up my place while I'm gone?"
Aha! He doesn't trust me.
"Yea. It's me you are talking about. I can take care of this place."
"I know 'it's you' that is why I'm so worry. Don't touch anything while I'm gone, I'll kill you if my apartment is on fire when I get back. Remember to turn off the oven, the stove, and the TV before you go to sleep. Don't touch the alarm button, just let it be. Don't run around the house, and poke holes in my walls."
I waved my hand dismistively in the air to let him know that 'it's alright he can shut up now'. I'm not always hyper and touching everything all the time, sometimes I can be...pen! Silver shinny pen, must not much. Click! I love Hiro's place so many things to..um...test.
"Anyways K wants you back to the studio by Monday. He said you have been 'taking a break' too long, and he started to point guns around when I told him you will be out for another day or so."
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to worry."
"I'm going over to Yuki's." I know Yuki did kick me out, but still. That doesn't mean I can't visit him, right??
"Uh." Hiro replied, he is not paying attention to me. He is too busy tuning his guitar.
Run. Running is not a fun thing to do, especially on a hot summer day. I'm sweating, hot, and people are staring at me like I'm some kind of idiot.
"HEY! What ya up to Shuichi?" Ryuichi asked, running beside me. How did he---? I don't even want to know, Ryuichi has the weirdest way of doing things.
"Hey! Going to look for Yuki." I answered, trying to catch my breath.
"Okay, then I'll run with ya! Let play tag!"
"Alright. But you are it." Maybe a game will be fun. It not like Ryuichi is going to run all the way to Yuki's house with me.
I am finally here, in front of Yuki's house. But I am too afraid to go in. What if he isn't home? What if he doesn't want to see me?
"What is wrong Shuichi-kun? Aren't you going to ring the doorbell?" Kumagorou asks me. "Come on, we came all this way. Let ring the door bell, ne?"
Riiiiing
Tatsuha opened the door. "What do you want, idiot? Didn't Eiri kicked your sorry butt to the curb?"
I sniffled. "Yes...is he home?"
Tatsuha nodded towards the open and focused his atttention on Ryuichi. "You didn't tell me Sakuma-kun was with you, hi I am Eiri's brother, Tatsuha, nice to meet you."
Ryuichi nodded, and Tatsuha shook Kuma's hand.
Yuki was shocked to see me. And now I am sitting in his living room, watching him typing away. What is he writing?? Sometimes I think Yuki spend too much time working on his novel, he doesn't have much time for anything else. I think he should take a break. I took a break, and it did me a lot of good. I am feeling better already. Well the reason I took a break was because of him, but still...
"Yuki, you work too hard." Might as well say something.
"Heh." Yuki replied.
"I took a break from the studio. And I am feeling so much better now." I said.
"Shuichi, what are you doing here?" He says bluntly.
"I just wanted to see you. As for why Ryuichi is here, I don't know." sweat drop
"Oh."
"Oh?! Is that all you can say after my running, and sweating??!!!"
"No one ask you to run to my house, and use Ryuichi to blackmail my brother to let you in, brat." Yuki narrowed his eyes.
More silence
"Go home, Shuichi." He said my name, he also said "go home" but he also said "Shuichi..."
"Well you think you can just kick me out like that, are you? YOU ARE WRONG! I am moving back in no matter what it takes!" I said, very confident in myself, confident that I will get him to take my back.
There was more silence, a longer silence between us. I got nothing to say. My normally happy and hyper self is now filled with anxiety and nervousness.
" Shuichi, you need to go home."
"I am home! This is my house, you can not just kick me out again."
--------
(Yuki)
Stubborn kid. I know I hurt him, by telling him I do not want him around my house. But it will heal quickly, as for what would happen if I to tell him I love him. That scar will never heal. They are watching my every move, they are always and constantly watching me. I am not sure what they want with me or what I did to them. I am not sure who they are, but I know they are out there. Strange things been happening to those who I let near me, I am afraid of what they would do to Shuichi.
"You need to go home." I raised my voice a bit, to make it sound irritating. I caution not to show any emotion.
Shuichi started to whine, begging me to let him stay. He is not the only one that is hurting.
"Whining and begging don't work on me. Go home before I personally kick you out myself." My voice is cold and harsh.
Shuichi sat there...still refusing to leave. His eyes looked hurt, and my heart aches.
"Shuichi...please...you need to go." I said, my voice a bit shaken.
"I don't want to. I don't want to leave you, but I've got one question to ask...do you really love me? I mean it's stupid that you let me stayed with you and now kicking me away. All you have to say is no, and I will be out of sight."
It's like I've been hit with ten arrows, or maybe even hundreds. How could I say no when my heart is screaming yes I love you, yes I want to be near you, but I can't.
"N---no." It's getting harder to fight the tears now.
"Then do you hate me?"
"Shuichi..."
"Answer me." He demanded.
'My heart is breaking, can't you see? I love you, but for your own good, I can't tell you...why can't you understand...?' I wanted to say "no I don't hate you." but fuzzy thoughts like that will only make him more confuse, because I don't love him, but I also don't hate him. I have to make him hate me, have to make him not want to see my face.
"Yes, I hate you."
"Thank you for being honest." Shuichi stood and before I could get a hold of myself, I found my arm reaching for his. Shuichi simply pushed it away.
"Shuichi..."
"I understand, I get it now. You don't have to feel sorry for me." And with that…he walked out the door...out of my life...
DAMN BASTARD! So he never loved me, so what? I have lost nothing, he didn't love me to begin with, I have lost nothing. Then why does it feel like my whole world is gone? Tears started to flow, and I couldn't stop myself. He hated me. What did I ever do, I tried so hard, why doesn't he love me?
---
I sighed, well I guess this is more the better. Tears started to form around my eyes and threatened to come out, I wiped them away.
"If you love him, why not say so?"
"I can't, you know I can't. If they find out how close I am to Shuichi, they will kill him." I said, my voice now shaken with anger and sadness.
"What the hell do they want?! Those mother fucker are going to pay for messing with you life. Shuichi, you have to let him know before it's too late. I personally don't see why that brat hurts you so much."
"And you? Chasing after a guy you have no hope with."
"Eiri..." Tatsuha picked up a gun near him, along with his jacket.
"Let it go, Tatsuha. Those bastards will show up sooner or later..."
Author's note: I editted it.. but I kept some of it the same The beginning is the same, but there will be a lot of other changes.
------------
I met Mr. Eiri Yuki at the mall, while we were both reaching down to get the same head phone. I needed it, and it was half price, and since it was the last one. I had no intention of letting it go. He stared at me, I remember how cold his eyes was. And I got scared, so I told him he can have it. He didn't even say "thank you", or "no, please take it", just to be polite. People do stuff like that all the time, saying "no I couldn't." then ended up doing it anyway. No he just nodded his head, then walked toward the paying place.
We then met again in the park, at night. First I mistaken him for a ghost, he made up of my lyrics. I then later found out he is a famous writer, and all that. I was very piss at this.There was something else about him. I don't know what, but I keep thinking about him. I know I told myself not to, but I did it anyway. I moved in with him. It wasn't all that easy, but my annoyingness finally came through and he let me stayed. After about one week, he kicked me out. So I had to move back in with Hiroshi, or better known as Hiro. He is my best friend! We started our band together, and was discovered by Mr. Seguchi Tohma, I call him Seguchi-sama of course. He is my boss. He told us we needed one more person in our band, and so he asked his "cousin" to join us. His name is Suguru, he is a very good key board player.
"Shuichi?" Hm? Hiro's voice..."I got you some food, want some?" He said food!!!
"Sure!" I shouted then jumped onto Hiro's back.
"I am going to break my back some day because of you..." He said, and I grinned at him.
"Pizza!" I shouted again.
"Hey listen, I'll be out of town for a while, do you think you can handle yourself?" Hiro asked, looking very concern.
"What? It not like I'm a kid, I can take care of myself." I replied with the piece of pizza hanging from my mouth.
"Are you sure? You won't mess up my place while I'm gone?"
Aha! He doesn't trust me.
"Yea. It's me you are talking about. I can take care of this place."
"I know 'it's you' that is why I'm so worry. Don't touch anything while I'm gone, I'll kill you if my apartment is on fire when I get back. Remember to turn off the oven, the stove, and the TV before you go to sleep. Don't touch the alarm button, just let it be. Don't run around the house, and poke holes in my walls."
I waved my hand dismistively in the air to let him know that 'it's alright he can shut up now'. I'm not always hyper and touching everything all the time, sometimes I can be...pen! Silver shinny pen, must not much. Click! I love Hiro's place so many things to..um...test.
"Anyways K wants you back to the studio by Monday. He said you have been 'taking a break' too long, and he started to point guns around when I told him you will be out for another day or so."
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to worry."
"I'm going over to Yuki's." I know Yuki did kick me out, but still. That doesn't mean I can't visit him, right??
"Uh." Hiro replied, he is not paying attention to me. He is too busy tuning his guitar.
Run. Running is not a fun thing to do, especially on a hot summer day. I'm sweating, hot, and people are staring at me like I'm some kind of idiot.
"HEY! What ya up to Shuichi?" Ryuichi asked, running beside me. How did he---? I don't even want to know, Ryuichi has the weirdest way of doing things.
"Hey! Going to look for Yuki." I answered, trying to catch my breath.
"Okay, then I'll run with ya! Let play tag!"
"Alright. But you are it." Maybe a game will be fun. It not like Ryuichi is going to run all the way to Yuki's house with me.
I am finally here, in front of Yuki's house. But I am too afraid to go in. What if he isn't home? What if he doesn't want to see me?
"What is wrong Shuichi-kun? Aren't you going to ring the doorbell?" Kumagorou asks me. "Come on, we came all this way. Let ring the door bell, ne?"
Riiiiing
Tatsuha opened the door. "What do you want, idiot? Didn't Eiri kicked your sorry butt to the curb?"
I sniffled. "Yes...is he home?"
Tatsuha nodded towards the open and focused his atttention on Ryuichi. "You didn't tell me Sakuma-kun was with you, hi I am Eiri's brother, Tatsuha, nice to meet you."
Ryuichi nodded, and Tatsuha shook Kuma's hand.
Yuki was shocked to see me. And now I am sitting in his living room, watching him typing away. What is he writing?? Sometimes I think Yuki spend too much time working on his novel, he doesn't have much time for anything else. I think he should take a break. I took a break, and it did me a lot of good. I am feeling better already. Well the reason I took a break was because of him, but still...
"Yuki, you work too hard." Might as well say something.
"Heh." Yuki replied.
"I took a break from the studio. And I am feeling so much better now." I said.
"Shuichi, what are you doing here?" He says bluntly.
"I just wanted to see you. As for why Ryuichi is here, I don't know." sweat drop
"Oh."
"Oh?! Is that all you can say after my running, and sweating??!!!"
"No one ask you to run to my house, and use Ryuichi to blackmail my brother to let you in, brat." Yuki narrowed his eyes.
More silence
"Go home, Shuichi." He said my name, he also said "go home" but he also said "Shuichi..."
"Well you think you can just kick me out like that, are you? YOU ARE WRONG! I am moving back in no matter what it takes!" I said, very confident in myself, confident that I will get him to take my back.
There was more silence, a longer silence between us. I got nothing to say. My normally happy and hyper self is now filled with anxiety and nervousness.
" Shuichi, you need to go home."
"I am home! This is my house, you can not just kick me out again."
--------
(Yuki)
Stubborn kid. I know I hurt him, by telling him I do not want him around my house. But it will heal quickly, as for what would happen if I to tell him I love him. That scar will never heal. They are watching my every move, they are always and constantly watching me. I am not sure what they want with me or what I did to them. I am not sure who they are, but I know they are out there. Strange things been happening to those who I let near me, I am afraid of what they would do to Shuichi.
"You need to go home." I raised my voice a bit, to make it sound irritating. I caution not to show any emotion.
Shuichi started to whine, begging me to let him stay. He is not the only one that is hurting.
"Whining and begging don't work on me. Go home before I personally kick you out myself." My voice is cold and harsh.
Shuichi sat there...still refusing to leave. His eyes looked hurt, and my heart aches.
"Shuichi...please...you need to go." I said, my voice a bit shaken.
"I don't want to. I don't want to leave you, but I've got one question to ask...do you really love me? I mean it's stupid that you let me stayed with you and now kicking me away. All you have to say is no, and I will be out of sight."
It's like I've been hit with ten arrows, or maybe even hundreds. How could I say no when my heart is screaming yes I love you, yes I want to be near you, but I can't.
"N---no." It's getting harder to fight the tears now.
"Then do you hate me?"
"Shuichi..."
"Answer me." He demanded.
'My heart is breaking, can't you see? I love you, but for your own good, I can't tell you...why can't you understand...?' I wanted to say "no I don't hate you." but fuzzy thoughts like that will only make him more confuse, because I don't love him, but I also don't hate him. I have to make him hate me, have to make him not want to see my face.
"Yes, I hate you."
"Thank you for being honest." Shuichi stood and before I could get a hold of myself, I found my arm reaching for his. Shuichi simply pushed it away.
"Shuichi..."
"I understand, I get it now. You don't have to feel sorry for me." And with that…he walked out the door...out of my life...
DAMN BASTARD! So he never loved me, so what? I have lost nothing, he didn't love me to begin with, I have lost nothing. Then why does it feel like my whole world is gone? Tears started to flow, and I couldn't stop myself. He hated me. What did I ever do, I tried so hard, why doesn't he love me?
---
I sighed, well I guess this is more the better. Tears started to form around my eyes and threatened to come out, I wiped them away.
"If you love him, why not say so?"
"I can't, you know I can't. If they find out how close I am to Shuichi, they will kill him." I said, my voice now shaken with anger and sadness.
"What the hell do they want?! Those mother fucker are going to pay for messing with you life. Shuichi, you have to let him know before it's too late. I personally don't see why that brat hurts you so much."
"And you? Chasing after a guy you have no hope with."
"Eiri..." Tatsuha picked up a gun near him, along with his jacket.
"Let it go, Tatsuha. Those bastards will show up sooner or later..."