o.O! Some of you really liked that last chapter. Well don't worry, there's a lot more storyline to come. (Jade's a dork). Marmalade!!! I loved your review! ^_^. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this new chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kare Kano.
Warnings: Angst. LOTS of angst. LOTS and LOTS of angst and...a certain madness that'll smote us all one day. I know it got me.
Not Permitted
Chapter Seven
"LOOK! LOOK!" Asaba was jumping up and down in the middle of the room after having just opened a package from his parents. It was for his birthday, which was fast approaching. "LOOK! TSUBAKI YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT THEY BOUGHT ME!!!"
"What?" Tsubaki came from the kitchen area into the living room and couldn't make out the box that Asaba was waving wildly because it was moving around so much. "Lemme see! Lemme see!"
"DDR MAX 2 FOR THE PS2!!!!" Asaba and Tsubaki were both jumping down excitedly now.
"YES!!!" Tsubaki was trying to dance in circles while jumping around. "Omigod, we have to set it up right now!"
"Totally!" Asaba and her began to set the whole thing up when Arima came in through the door. "Hey Arima!" Arima began to walk by, not saying anything. "Guess what-" The door to Asaba and Arima's room slammed shut, cutting off the honey-haired boy.
Tsubaki looked at Asaba. "What was that about?"
"I don't know." Asaba shrugged and was distracted with turning on the PS2.
"Wait a second..." Tsubaki's eyes narrowed. "We always tell each other everything, don't we?"
"Well, yeah..." Asaba looked almost uneasy.
"Something's up, spill." Tsubaki crossed her arms, sitting on the DDR pad, looking quite resolute.
"I slept with Arima." Asaba announced and Tsubaki's jaw dropped.
"YOU DID NOT!" Tsubaki grabbed his shoulders, shaking them rather violently. "Omigod, that's great, was he any good? Does he only like guys?" She began the barrage of questions, still shaking Asaba.
"Whoa, whoa!" Asaba twisted away, looking rather dizzy. "Yeah it was good, you know it was his first time and there's something about a person's first time..."
For a moment, the two looked upward and seemed almost nostalgic recalling their own first times.
"Anyways." Asaba cleared his throat. "Right after that, he started crying again."
"What do you mean again?" Tsubaki was taken aback. "Why was he crying before? What did you do Asaba?"
"It wasn't me! It was Yukino!" Asaba waved his hands as though to ward away the blame. "See, apparently Arima's like...in love with her or something."
"Oh boy." Tsubaki tried not to look too negative about that.
"Yeah, and he tells her when their making out, right?" Asaba was still telling the story, not noticing what Tsubaki was staring at. An orange-haired girl who had been listening for quite some time in her doorway. "So she rejects him and the guy was crying in our room...so..."
"So you laid on the ole' Asapin charm when he was feeling weak?" Tsubaki supplied.
"He was really depressed and I once read somewhere that sex releases chemicals that make you happy." Asaba defended.
"Hey, I'm not criticizing what you did." Tsubaki put her hands up. "I just wonder if that was really the best thing to do, I mean, Arima didn't look too happy." Tsubaki sighed. "Yukino, stop being stupid and come out here."
"I'm not being stupid." Yukino came out, flopping down on the couch. "I don't see why Arima went around crying to everyone about what happened."
"You should have offered sympathy sex." Tsubaki advised wisely. "Dude, look what Asaba got from his parents!" The subject was quickly lost for those two.
"DDR Max 2? Kickass." Yukino tried to cover up the fact that she had this horrible nagging feeling in her stomach. It was unlike anything she'd ever had before. It was like...she was guilty about something.
"What's DDR?" Tonami had come into the room. They all tried to smother their groans.
"Dance Dance Revolution." Asaba looked insulted that Tonami didn't know what it was. "Do you even play video games?"
"Yeah!" Tonami tried to stand up for himself. "I just didn't know."
"What are you doing in here?" Yukino was feeling a bit vicious, that nagging feeling was just bothering her and she had to vent. "Nobody likes you Tonami. Especially no one in here! So take your stupid ass crush on Tsubaki and get out!" Yukino stomped over the refrigerator.
Asaba and Tsubaki turned towards each other with identical dropped-jaw expressions. Tonami looked rather stricken, as though Yukino had suddenly slapped him. Tonami ran out of the room and Tsubaki and Asaba just blinked, having no idea how to react to this.
"Why does everyone have to be so stupid?" Yukino opened a can of soda.
"Um...so...I guess, who's ready for some DDR?" Asaba tried feebly.
* * *
His pencil moved across the paper with a ferocity that bordered on obsession. Obsession to bring his failing grades up, obsession to work harder then he ever had before.
An obsession to leave reality far behind.
He didn't want to talk to anybody, he didn't want to even look at Yukino as they sat in classes together. He wanted to just sink into the ground and never come back up.
He hated his life right now, he hated what he had done, and he hated himself most of all. Tsubaki and Asaba were all happily setting up their stupid video game. A VIDEO GAME! It amazed Arima that the two could be lost in their own mundane worlds when everybody else had to face reality. Those two never really had second thoughts, did they? No, they just skated through life.
Arima frowned and just pressed harder, which caused his pencil to break. He threw it aside in frustration, grabbing a pen instead; it would be harder to break. He would finish all his work soon and then he would go straight to bed. That way he could wake up before all of them, take a shower, get dressed, and then eat in the cafeteria. He had to avoid his room as much as possible.
He was trying to outrun what he had done.
It had felt good at first, but Arima couldn't handle what he had done. He couldn't handle that it was just screwing and that was it. He felt like he had betrayed Yukino somehow, even though she had rejected him.
It didn't mean anything.
I'm a whore.
I'm a complete and utter whore.
He dropped his head into his hands and tried to push the pain down, but it was there still. There was nothing he could do. He couldn't face any of them. He picked his pen back up, it was time to get back to work; he didn't have time to think about all this.
His reality shattered, Arima finished his schoolwork.
* * *
Tsubaki collapsed on her bed. She was damn tired after six straight hours of DDR with Asaba. Plus she had practice tomorrow. She groaned at the thought. She considered just skipping class and pretending she was sick so she could just stay in bed all day. If she skipped, no doubt Asaba would skip too.
Tsubaki decided to just skip class and briefly made a note to herself that she had to call the office and report her absence. Then she started to undress. She got into a pair of boxers and t-shirt and started to get under the covers when there was a knock on the door.
The room was empty except for her, Shibahime wouldn't be knocking because it was her room too, but Shibahime spent far more time in Kazuma's room then in her own. Could it be Asaba? Would Asaba knock?
"Yeah?" Tsubaki called out. The door opened and a hesitant Tonami entered.
"Um...hey." Tonami shuffled his feet.
"Hey." Tsubaki hoped that people weren't eating her Fruit Loops or she was going to beat them silly tomorrow. A whole day in bed tomorrow; she would probably spend it on the couch in Asaba's room eating Fruit Loops and watching DVD's.
"Um, can I talk to you?" Tonami asked.
"What about?" Tsubaki wondered briefly if she had left A League of Their Own in her room or in the other living room. It was her favorite movie and she had to keep tabs on it.
"Well, it's about today." Tonami came and sat down on her bed. Tsubaki sighed. Was this going to be long? She wanted to sleep. "About what Yukino said."
"What about it?" Tsubaki really didn't understand what this was about.
"It's just...well, what she said is true, you know." Tonami looked down at his feet. "I really like you, and...I..." Tsubaki was still up in the air about how much soda was in the fridge. She wanted plenty there. Maybe she would run down to the machines in the morning, or maybe send Asa-
"What?" Tsubaki shook herself. "What did you say?"
"I really like you but...it seems like you guys don't like me." Tonami's eyes locked onto hers. He looked really sad at that moment. Tsubaki felt a small part of conscience telling her that she felt bad.
"Tonami..." Tsubaki searched her tired mind for a tactful solution to this situation. "Tonami..." Nothing was coming to mind.
"Tsubaki..." Tonami didn't seem to understand Tsubaki's unsure face and he reached for her hand. "It's okay...you know, you don't have to say anything."
"Thanks?" Tsubaki guessed. She tried to think of how she had solved problems similar to this. People had had crushes on her before. And before, it was the same solution: Sex, thus giving them what they wanted, and then Tsubaki let them wander away on their own when she made it quite clear that she wasn't looking for a relationship.
But have sex with Tonami?
He really wasn't bad looking, Tsubaki decided as she studied him. His brown eyes looked good with his blonde hair though his head was a bit big. And he had a nice body.
Hmm...I'm a little tired to be having sex. But...I'm taking the day off tomorrow.
So I guess.
"Hey, Tonami..." Tsubaki scooted next to him. "Let's say we talk about this...later." He was about to say something but Tsubaki shut him up real fast by kissing him.
Psh, talk. That's for like, couples being all...monogamous and shit.
Dorks.
* * *
This sucks. Why do I feel so depressed right now?
Yukino hadn't felt much up to video games and spent most of the DDR marathon just watching with Maho. And now she was laying in bed thinking about Arima. This was so stupid.
It's like I feel bad.
Which I don't.
Grrr...
Even though it was ten o'clock at night, she called her little sister's extension at her house.
The curious thing about Tsukino and Kano was that they were far smarter than any normal little kids should be. Of course, they seemed to have absorbed it all from reading far too much manga, but they were usually the best at giving her advice.
It rang twice and then Kano answered.
"Hello, this is Tsukino and Kano!" She greeted her happily.
"It's me." Yukino chewed on her lip.
"It's Yukino!" Kano announced to someone else, probably Tsukino.
"It is! Let me talk! Let me talk!" There was a lot of rustling and Yukino almost smiled at the mental image of the two sisters wrestling over the phone.
"Put me on the speaker phone you guys." Yukino practically rolled her eyes. Maho was reading and probably not paying attention to Yukino's phone conversation anyway.
"So what's up?" Tsukino's voice asked.
"Well..." Yukino trailed off. She told them the whole story, as best she could as her sisters listened patiently. Her sisters knew all about what went on with Yukino's friends and after reading so much manga, they deemed it all perfectly normal at their age. Kano went as far as to say that she hoped she could meet such mature and open people one day. Yukino decided that if Kano or Tsukino ever met people like Tsubaki and Asaba, she'd have to lock them up.
When she finished there was a bit of silence. Then...
"You realize that the reason you feel guilty and horrible is probably because you're in love with him." Tsukino finally declared.
"What?" Yukino squawked. "You guys read waaay too much manga."
"It makes sense." Kano agreed with Tsukino. "You feel bad that you couldn't give him exactly what he was seeking. And if Asaba and him really did sleep together, then he's probably feeling even worse. Like you said, he doesn't think the same way as you guys."
"He'll probably be withdrawn, but if you go to him-" Kano was cut off by Yukino.
"You two are out of your minds. You don't understand at all." Yukino was desperate to get them to stop. So what if she was the one who called them. "I don't...I can't..."
"You can 'cause you're a human being and all humans fall in love eventually." Tsukino told her. "If you care about him, you've got to stop denying it to yourself."
"I'm not denying anything!" Yukino yelled into the phone in protest.
"You're getting awfully up in arms for someone who's not in denial." Kano whistled.
"Gah, you two are too young to understand." Yukino folded her arms. "Give my love to mom and dad, I'm tired, I'm going to bed."
"Okay, we love you too, Yukino." Her sisters said together, though somewhat reluctantly. "Bye." And the call ended.
"Your sisters are very smart." Maho added her words of wisdom. "They're barely ever wrong."
"Whatever." Yukino didn't want to think about it right then. It didn't matter right now.
* * *
Um...doom. What a weird chapter. Kind of. What happens in the next chapter? Part of this chapter was a tribute to my onee-chan. Thanks for the coolest birthday present! ^_^.