(Cartman, Kenny, Kyle, and Stan are all standing at the bus stop. Anki,
Dianne, Kylie and Katherine walk up)
Cartman: Who the hell are you?
Anki: I'm Anki, and these are my friends Dianne, Kylie and Kasprin
(gestures to each of them) We just moved here from Oregon.
Stan: Cool, are you in Mr. Garrison's class?
Anki: Yeah.
Dianne(looks at Kenny and smiles): Hey Kenny, you'd better watch out.
Kenny: (What the f*** is her problem?)
(Anki, Dianne, Kylie, and Katherine all start to laugh uncontrollably)
Kyle: Dude, you Oregonians are messed up.
Anki: Yeah I know! We're like weird in the head.
Katherine(walking over to Cartman and putting her hand on his shoulder):
Hey Cartman.
Cartman: Uh.... You are....?
Katherine: Kasprin.
Cartman: Ooookay?
Katherine: I always love a man who knows how to eat right.
Cartman: Uh thanks.
Dianne(walks up behind Kenny): Hey Kenny
Kenny jumps
Dianne: How ya doing?
Kenny: (....fine?)
Dianne: That's good. It's always nice to be fine.
Kenny: (Uh yeah.)
Stan: Whoa Anki, you have some pretty messed up friends.
Anki: Yeah, they're great aren't they?
Kylie: When's the bus coming?
Kyle: Probably never.
Kylie: I hate this town.
Stan: What's her problem?
Anki: She hates you guys and the town.
Stan: How nice.
Anki: I know.
Stan (to Kylie): Why don't you like us?
Kylie: Because you're messed up fags who are perverted and wrong.
Kenny:(What's wrong with that?)
Kylie: See what I mean?
(Bus pulls up)
Ms. Crabtree: Hurry up, we're running late.
Kyle: We're always late you gay son of a bitch.
Ms. Crabtree: What did you say!?
Anki: He said that he can't do push-ups.
Ms. Crabtree: Oh, neither can I.
Kyle(whispers): Thanks.
Anki: No prob, want to sit by me?
Kyle: Sure.
(they sit down. Katherine is sitting by Cartman, Dianne by Kenny Kenny is
pushed against the window sweating and Stan is sitting by Kylie. Kylie is
glaring out the window)
Anki: So Kyle, you don't have a, uh, girlfriend do you?
Kyle: No. Do you have a boyfriend?
Anki: Ha. Yeah right.
Kyle: Oh okay.
{pans to Dianne and Kenny}
Dianne: So, Kenny....
Kenny: (Stay away from me you psycho!)
Dianne: I'm not gonna hurt ya Kenny... Not yet anyways
Kenny: (You better stay away bitch!)
Dianne(stares into space and laughs evilly) : Haha... mwhaha...
(authors note: this is what me and my friends all imagining mode. She
stares at nothing and can't hear anyone and imagines ways she can kill
Kenny. I'm dead serious!)
Anki: Oh god, she's in imagining mode.
Kyle: What's that?
Anki: You don't want to know....
{pans to Stan and Kylie}
Stan: So what kind of stuff are you into?
Kylie: Sorry, I don't talk to gay fags thank you.
Stan: Dude, you're impossible!
Kylie: How about you? What do you like? No wait, don't. I can guess...
swearing, porn, getting in trouble...
Stan: HEY shut up bitch! I'm the smartest one here, and unlike everyone
else in South Park, I have feelings!
Kylie: Wow that's nice.
Stan: I know.
Kylie: I was being sarcastic dumbass.
Stan: Oh.
{pans to Kyle and Anki}
Kyle: So, how are you liking south park?
Anki: I'm getting along fine here. I hope everyone's nice. I don't make
friends that easily.
Kyle: Well, you've already made four.
Anki: Who?
Kyle: Me, Stan, Kenny and Cartman.
Anki: Dude, I don't want to be friends with fatass!
Kyle: Well, then three friends.
Anki: That's a start.
(Next scene. Classroom)
Mr. Garrison: Eh hem class... (class keeps talking) Can you quiet down
please? (keeps talking) GOD DAMNIT SHUT THE HELL UP!
{class quiets down)
Mr. G: Thank you class, now as I was saying... we have new students today.
They're four girls from Oregon. You can come in now girls.
(Anki, Katherine, Kylie and Dianne walk in)
Mr. G: Why don't you tell us about yourselves.
Anki: Well, I'm Anki and I like to act and write. I get really hyper and am
funny. Also, I'm very sick minded.
(the boys cheer)
Dianne: Well, my name is Dianne and I play violin and I like math.
{silence}
Anki: And she's really hyper!
{class cheers}
Katherine: I like to kill people. (smiles evilly)
Kylie: I hate south park, it sucks ass.
Mr. G: Okay you guys, sit down now.
(Next scene. Recess)
Katherine: So Cartman, do you have a girlfriend?
(Kenny, Kyle and Stan burst out laughing)
Cartman: No, I decided to stay single so I wouldn't hurt any girls
feelings.
Katherine: How sensitive of you...
Kyle: Oh please...
Anki: So Kyle, are you doing anything tonight?
Kyle: Uh I don't know am I?
Anki: Well I was hoping you'd go see a movie with me.
Kyle: Uh, sure.
Anki: Great.
Stan(whispers): Looks like a verge of a relationship, doesn't it?
Kylie: Yeah sure.
Stan: So do you have a boyfriend?
Kylie: Yeah, his name is Joey. He lives with me.
Stan: Really?
Kylie: Yeah, he licks really well.
Stan: Dude you're messed up.
Kylie: That's what I hear.
Katherine: Anki, can me and Cartman come to the movies with you? It can be
a double date.
Cartman: I don't know about that.
Katherine: Popcorns on me.
Cartman: Yeah Kyle, can we come?
Anki: Sure. Dianne, do you want to come? Butter popcorn...
Dianne: Sure!
(authors note: Dianne gets really hyper off of butter!)
Kenny: Can I come?
Anki: Do you honestly want to come to a movie, sit in the dark with Dianne
in the same room?
(Dianne laughs evilly)
Kenny: Uuh... maybe if I can keep my distance.
Kyle: Stan, you should come too.
Anki: And Kylie.
Kylie: Why would I want to go to the movies with a bunch of pervs?
Anki: Kylie, stop hating this so much.
Kylie: Fine, I'll come.
(cuts to the movies. From left to right, the seats are Kenny, Kylie, Anki,
Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Katherine and Dianne)
Katherine: Here Cartman, have some more popcorn.
Cartman(takes a handful): Mmm, thanks!
{Katherine puts her hand on Cartmans on the arm rest}
Cartman: Uh, what are you doing?
Katherine: Nothing. (pulls her hand away)
(pans to Kyle and Anki)
Anki: Uh Kyle?
Kyle: Yeah?
Anki: I know this isn't the right time to tell you but....
Kyle: What?
Anki: I like you.
Kyle: Wow, I'm flattered.
Anki: Good or bad?
Kyle: Good.
Anki: So will you be my boyfriend now?
Kyle: It's a little quick...
Anki: I see.
Kyle: But I think I'll take the chance.
Anki: Okay, great.
{pans to Stan}
Stan: Hear that Cartman? Kyle is Anki's boyfriend now.
Cartman: Gay little hippie couple, are they not?
Stan: Shut up, fatass!
{pans to Kenny and Kylie}
Kenny: Kylie?
Kylie: What?
Kenny: I'm scared
Kylie: Dude, this movie is a comedy.
Kenny: Not of the movie bitch. I'm scared of Dianne. She keeps looking at
me funny.
{cuts to Dianne really fast and shows her smile really evilly}
Kylie: It's okay dude. The worst she can do is kill you.
Kenny: Do you realize what you just said?
Kylie: Yeah, why does it matter? You're just gonna come back to life
tomorrow.
Kenny: True.
Kylie: See, it all works out okay.
{next scene, the boys are walking the girls home}
Stan: So you all live together?
Anki: Yeah.
Kyle: Cool.
Dianne(really hyper): Oh my god! This was soooo fun! We should do this
again! (starts spinning and singing)
Kenny: Whoa.
Katherine: This is our house.
Stan: Oh okay. Well bye.
Anki: Bye. (kisses Kyle and runs inside)
Katherine: Bye Cartman (tries to kiss him)
Cartman: AH! STAY AWAY FROM ME HIPPIE!
{Katherine shrugs and goes inside}
Dianne: G'night Kenny. Sleep well.... Heh heh heh
Stan: Bye Kylie. You know, you're not so bad.
Kylie: Thanks. This town isn't so bad either. Bye dude.
(the girls walk inside and the boys start to walk home)
Kyle: Wow, Anki's great isn't she?
Stan: Dude, you sure got in a relationship quick.
Kyle: Yeah, do you like anyone?
Stan: Kylie's cool.
Kyle: Good luck getting her. She hates you.
Cartman: Katherine's pretty messed up, don't you think?
Kyle: Yeah, anyone's messed up who likes Cartman.
Cartman: AYE!
Kenny: Dude, I don't like Dianne. She's out to get me and I don't know why!
Kyle: She seems really nice.
Kenny: Yeah, if she's not trying to kill you.
{pans to girls}
Anki: Oh my god! I kissed Kyle!
Dianne: Anki, you're so messed up.
Katherine: Cartman is sooo awesome.
Anki: Not more messed up than her (points to Katherine)
Kylie: You were right Anna, I'm starting to like it here.
Anki: Kylie! I told you not to call me that anymore!
Kylie: Oops, sorry.
Anki: You better not tell Kyle that my name is Anna.
Kylie: Okay.
Anki: Promise?
Kylie: OKAY!
Dianne: So, how do you think I can kill Kenny?
Anki: Dianne, Kenny is so sweet, why do you want to kill him?
::Dianne goes into imagining mode::
Katherine: Oh boy...
Kylie: Haha Dianne, you should team up with Cartman!
Anki: Yeah! He like hate Kenny!
Katherine(in dreamy mode): Oh I wonder if Cartman's a good kisser...
Anki: Hey Kasprin?
Katherine: Mmm hmm?
Anki: Just the hell up about Cartman. He's a dumb fatass.
Katherine: No he's not! He's a sweet sensitive guy!
Anki: I think Kasprin the Friendly Drug has been taking a few to many
aspirins.
Kylie: Stan's a dumbass.
Dianne: Whoa, that was random.
Kylie: Haha, I know. But I told him I had a boyfriend.
Anki: You didn't tell him Joey wasn't your boyfriend again, did you?
Kylie: Yup. Come here Joey! (whistles)
{a fluffy white dog comes running in}
Kyle: These people in South Park are so gullible, you can tell these
dumbasses anything and they'll believe you.
Anki: Kyle's not a dumbass! He's sweet.
Dianne: That's true, Kyle is nice.... So is Kenny... heh heh heh.
Katherine: Oh good lord Dianne!
Dianne: What, I was just being friendly.
Anki: I think we should go to bed. I want to hang out with the guys
tomorrow.
Kylie: G'head.
Anki: Ky Ky, I hate it when you say that!
Kylie: IM NOT KY KY!
Anki: Night guys.
(morning)
Katherine: Haha Anki! Look at your hair?
Anki(still sleeping): Shut up Kasprin I'm sleeping here.
Katherine: Dianne, come look at Anki's hair!
(Dianne walks over and starts to laugh)
Anki: What the hell are you doing? (gets up and looks in the mirror)
Anki: Holy shit!
(Kylie walks in)
Kylie: Dude Anki, what's wrong with your hair?
Anki: I'm taking a shower!
(runs to the bathroom and you hear the shower go on)
Kylie: I'm getting dressed, see you guys at breakfast.
(breakfast. Anki is still in the shower)
{doorbell rings}
Kylie: I got it. (gets up and walks to the door. It's the four boys)
Stan: Hey Kylie, what's up?
Kylie: Eating breakfast, why are you coming so early?
Stan: Felt like it.
Kyle: Can we come in?
Kylie: G'head.
(they walk in)
Katherine: CARTMAN! Hi!
Cartman: Eh... Hi.
Katherine: You want some breakfast?
Kyle: Fatass already ate.
Cartman: Shut up Kyle... no I didn't already eat.
Katherine: So you want some breakfast?
Cartman: Hell yeah.
Katherine: The 'fridge is on the left.
(Cartman runs to the fridge.)
Kyle: Where's Anki?
Kylie: In the shower. Her hair was all screwed up.
Kyle: Ah, I see.
Dianne: Hey Kenny, come sit over here!
Kenny: No, I don't think so.
Dianne: Please Kenny... I won't hurt you....
(goes into imagining mode)
Kenny: Holy shit, why is she looking at me like that?
Katherine: You're not safe here Kenny...
Dianne(snapping out of it): Hey Cartman! Can I see you in the other room
for a second?
Cartman: Uh, sure I guess.
(they walk out)
Dianne: I need help.
Cartman: With what?
Dianne: Killing Kenny.
Cartman: Now why would I want to help you kill my best friend?
Dianne: Because you hate him.
Cartman: Oh yeah...
Dianne: So here's what I had in mind....
(whispers a bunch of stuff)
(they walk back in the room)
Katherine: What was that all about?
Dianne: Nothing... (smiles at Cartman who smiles back)
Katherine: Dianne! You didn't....
Dianne: NO!
Katherine: Oh good.
(Anki walks in the room)
Anki: Hey dudes.
Kyle: Hey Anki, wussup?
Anki: Stuff, you?
Kyle: About the same.
Anki: What'd I miss?
Kyle: Nothing really. We were trying to decide what to do today.
Anki: I see. What have you come up with?
Kyle: Bowling, amusement park, laser tag...
Anki: Oh! Laser tag sounds fun! Let's do that.
Kyle: Everyong okay with that?
Stan: Sounds good.
Dianne: Laser tag it is! (then whispers to Cartman) Perfect!
(laser tag)
Cartman: You blues are going down!
teams are separated by red and blue. Teams are Blue: Kyle, Anki, Stan and
Kylie. Red: Cartman, Dianne, Kenny, Katherine)
(they enter the laser tag room and put on the armor)
Announcer: Game starts in 3...2...1... NOW!
(everyone starts running around shooting eachother)
Anki: Haha! I got you fatass!
Cartman: AYE! You're gonna pay for that!
Kyle: ANKI! WATCH OUT! (jumps in front of her and takes Cartmans shot)
Anki: Wow thanks Kyle! (pecks him and runs away)
{pans to Dianne who is silently following Kenny around)
Dianne(into walkie talkie): Dianne to Cartman, Dianne to Cartman. I've got
target in site. Repeat I've got target in site!
Cartman(voice through walkie talkie): Ready to take action?
Dianne: Yes. Over and out.
(Dianne creeps up behind Kenny and pulls out a metal bat)
Dianne: MWHAHAHAH!!!
(Kenny turns around and screams!)
(Dianne starts hitting Kenny over and over in the head and everyone runs
up)
Dianne: TAKE THIS! AND THIS! AND THIS! AHAHAH!
Stan: Holy shit dude! Dianne's beating the crap outa Kenny!
Cartman: Go Dianne!
(Dianne takes one final hit and Kenny falls over, dead)
Stan: Oh my god! Dianne killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastard!
Anki: Hey, don't call me friend a bastard!
Kyle: Sorry.
Dianne(still crazy): Now there's just one thing left to do! Where's the
bathroom?
Anki: Dianne, don't do it...
(Dianne starts running towards the bathroom, carrying Kenny and laughing
manically)
(Dianne enters bathroom and shoves Kenny in the toilet and flushes it over
and over again)
{authors note: remember that paper Kenny? Well her dream killing of him was
flushing him down the toilet so I had to put this in!}
Stan: Kylie, your friends fagged up.
Kylie: I know, isn't she awesome?
Stan: Uh, yeah. Can I tell you something?
Kylie: G'head.
Stan: I like you.
Kylie: HA!
Stan: Will you be my girlfriend?
Kylie: Get a life pervert! (walks away)
Kyle(to Stan): Told you.
(back at the girl's house, all of them are there, including the boys)
Anki: Let's play truth or dare...!
Kyle: Yeah!
Dianne: Anna, you're so weird sometimes.
Anki: HEY!
Dianne: Oops, sorry!
Kyle: Anna?
Anki: Yeah, that's my real name. (blushes)
Kyle: Why don't you go by that?
Anki: Because it sucks ass.
Kyle: I see.
Anki: So don't ever call me Anna.
Kyle: Okay.
Anki: So are we playing truth or dare or not?
Stan: Okay let's.
Anki: I'll start. Kyle truth or dare.
Kyle: Dare.
Everyone: Oooooh!
Anki: Kiss me.
Kyle: Why is that a dare. We've done that already.
Anki: We've only done it on the cheek. I'm daring you to kiss me on the
lips.
Kyle: Okay...
(Kyle leans over and kisses Anki, who starts to blush really bad)
Katherine: Oooh, Anki's blushing!
Anki: Shut up Kasprin!
Kyle: Okay, my turn. Truth or dare... Cartman.
Cartman: Truth.
Anki: (cough cough) pussie (cough cough)
Cartman: AYE!
Kyle: Okay, do you like anyone here. I mean like like.
Cartman: Yeah.
Kyle: Who?
Cartman: Well....
(Katherine is smiling and holding her breath)
Cartman: I like... Dianne.
(Katherine frowns and let's out her breath)
Katherine: DIANNE? WHAT ABOUT ME?
Cartman: You're a freaky stalker.
Katherine: Fine, be a bitch.
Cartman: Okay, I will be.
Katherine: Damnit!
Cartman: Uh... Dianne, truth or dare.
Dianne: Truth.
Cartman: Do you like me?
Dianne: Hell no!
Cartman: Why fucking not?
Dianne: Because you're a fat piece of shit.
Cartman: AYE!
Dianne: My turn! Kasprin, truth or dare?
Katherine: Dare.
Dianne: Okay... I dare you to go run outside screaming for 5 minutes.
Katherine: Alright. (get's up and leaves and you hear her screaming)
Stan: Hey, Kylie? Can I ask you a question.
Kylie: Depends.
Stan: I'll ask you anyways then. WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME/
Kylie: Because you're a stupid pervert.
Stan: I am not! Besides Kyle, I am the most sensitive and caring one here!
I'm also the least perverted! Just give me a chance!
Kylie: NO!
(phone rings)
Anki: Got it.... (picks up the phone) Hello? pause Oh hey mom. pause Not
bad just hanging with some new friends. pause Cartman, Stan and Kyle.
pause yes they are boys. pause What? pause No! pause Why? pause Oh. pause Okay. pause tomorrow at 10? pause Okay. pause
Bye. (hangs up)
Kyle: What was that about?
Anki: We...we have to move back.
Kyle: What? No you can't.
(Katherine comes in out of breath)
Katherine: What'd I miss?
Kylie: We're moving back to Oregon.
Anki: I don't want to move back, it's not fair (starts to cry)
Dianne: There's nothing really to miss for me, I did what I wanted to do.
Kylie: Same here I'm happy to move back.
Katherine: And since Cartman doesn't like me back, what's the point?
Anki: But you guys, I have a boyfriend here now! I can't leave.
Kylie: Suck it up.
Anki: Hey!
Kyle: You guys just stop fighting.
Stan: Yeah, let's just spend the rest of the time together and make it as
good as possible.
Anki: A sleepover!
Kyle: What?
Anki: A sleepover! You guys can sleepover!
Dianne: Uh Anki, they're boys.
Anki: So?
Kylie: Haha Anki...
Anki: Coed sleepover!
Katherine: Whoo hoo!
Anki: I'll get the butter!
(An hour later, where everyone is really hyper. Don't Want to Grow Up by
Simple Plan is playing in the background)
Anki: Whoo hoo! PILLOW FIGHT!!
Dianne: YEAH YEAH! PILLOW FIGHT!!
(they all start whacking each other with pillows)
Kylie: DIE STAN! (hits him)
Anki: COME HERE KYLE! (runs after him and kisses him)
Cartman: EEEW! JEW KISSES!
Anki: IM NOT JEWISH FATASS!
Cartman: OKAY THAN HIPPIE KISSES!
(Dianne is jumping around holding a bowl of extra buttery popcorn)
Dianne: WHOOO HOOO! YAAAAAHOO!
Stan: Dude, it's 3 am in the morning!
Anki: So what?
(they all start dancing around, looking really drunk.)
(fade out. Fade in. shows everyone in their sleeping bags)
(fade out. Fade in. still everyone is in their sleeping bags. There's a
knock at the door)
Anki(groggily): Go away, we're sleeping. (glances at the clock) OH MY GOD!
It's 10 a clock! (everyone wakes up)
(Anki goes to open the door and it's her mom, Cathy)
Cathy: Whoa, what happened in here?
Anki: Sleepover. Come on in.
Cathy: Are those BOYS?
Anki: Yeah, these are our new friends.
Cathy: And they slept over?
Anki: Yes.
Cathy: I hope I can trust you enough to trust...
Anki: NOTHING happened!
Cathy: Okay, introduce me to everyone.
Anki: These are my friends Stan and Cartman... (gestures to them, then takes
a breath) And this is my boyfriend Kyle.
Cathy: Anna!
Anki: NOTHING HAPPENED!
Cartman: Yeah, the two hippies just kissed a bunch.
Kyle: Shut up fatass!
Cathy: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Are you ready to go?
Anki: No actually, we over slept.
Cathy: I see. Well, go get ready. I'm gonna go make some coffee.
Anki: Okay, let's go pack you guys. You can help us too(meaning Cartman,
Stan and Kyle)
Kyle: Okay.
(they go upstairs into their room and start throwing things into the
suitcase)
Anki: I'm gonna miss you Kyle.
Dianne: Oh Anki, stop being so overly dramatic.
Kylie: Yeah, you can see him again.
Anki(flatly): Sure.
Dianne: I'm all packed.
Kylie: Me too.'
Anki: I guess I am too.
(they walk downstairs and Cathy is sitting on the couch)
Cathy: Ready?
Anki: I guess.
Cathy: Okay, let's go. (everyone but Anki follows her out)
Anki: Hey, mum? Can I have a minute?
Cathy: Sure.
(everyone leaves but her and Kyle)
Kyle: I'm gonna miss you.
Anki: Me too.
Kyle: I want you to have my jacket.
Anki: Really? Awesome.
(Kyle takes it off and gives it to Anki)
Anki: Thanks dude. (they kiss)
Kyle: I'll walk you out.
Anki: Kay.
(they go outside)
Cartman: Oh look at the too hippie love birds!
Anki: Shut up fatass!
Cathy: Anna!
Anki: Sorry mum.
(everyone gets in the car and they roll down the windows)
Kylie: Bye Stan! I'll miss you!
Anki: Whoa that's a change in perspective.
Dianne: Yeah.
Anki: WAIT! (takes out a piece of paper and writes her phone number and
address and tosses it out the window) HERE YOU GO KYLE!
Kyle: Thanks!
(they all wave)
Cathy: So did you have fun?
Girls: Yeah.
Cathy: Cool, we can come back here for winter break.
Girls: Hurray!
Dianne: That's cool, I'm gonna miss Cartman. He's really funny.
Katherine: You took my man!
Dianne: Take an aspirin Kasprin.
Kylie: I guess South Park isn't so bad.
Anki: Told you. (turns around) Hey look! They're still waving!
(shows the back of the car and you can see everyone waving)
The End
Dianne, Kylie and Katherine walk up)
Cartman: Who the hell are you?
Anki: I'm Anki, and these are my friends Dianne, Kylie and Kasprin
(gestures to each of them) We just moved here from Oregon.
Stan: Cool, are you in Mr. Garrison's class?
Anki: Yeah.
Dianne(looks at Kenny and smiles): Hey Kenny, you'd better watch out.
Kenny: (What the f*** is her problem?)
(Anki, Dianne, Kylie, and Katherine all start to laugh uncontrollably)
Kyle: Dude, you Oregonians are messed up.
Anki: Yeah I know! We're like weird in the head.
Katherine(walking over to Cartman and putting her hand on his shoulder):
Hey Cartman.
Cartman: Uh.... You are....?
Katherine: Kasprin.
Cartman: Ooookay?
Katherine: I always love a man who knows how to eat right.
Cartman: Uh thanks.
Dianne(walks up behind Kenny): Hey Kenny
Kenny jumps
Dianne: How ya doing?
Kenny: (....fine?)
Dianne: That's good. It's always nice to be fine.
Kenny: (Uh yeah.)
Stan: Whoa Anki, you have some pretty messed up friends.
Anki: Yeah, they're great aren't they?
Kylie: When's the bus coming?
Kyle: Probably never.
Kylie: I hate this town.
Stan: What's her problem?
Anki: She hates you guys and the town.
Stan: How nice.
Anki: I know.
Stan (to Kylie): Why don't you like us?
Kylie: Because you're messed up fags who are perverted and wrong.
Kenny:(What's wrong with that?)
Kylie: See what I mean?
(Bus pulls up)
Ms. Crabtree: Hurry up, we're running late.
Kyle: We're always late you gay son of a bitch.
Ms. Crabtree: What did you say!?
Anki: He said that he can't do push-ups.
Ms. Crabtree: Oh, neither can I.
Kyle(whispers): Thanks.
Anki: No prob, want to sit by me?
Kyle: Sure.
(they sit down. Katherine is sitting by Cartman, Dianne by Kenny Kenny is
pushed against the window sweating and Stan is sitting by Kylie. Kylie is
glaring out the window)
Anki: So Kyle, you don't have a, uh, girlfriend do you?
Kyle: No. Do you have a boyfriend?
Anki: Ha. Yeah right.
Kyle: Oh okay.
{pans to Dianne and Kenny}
Dianne: So, Kenny....
Kenny: (Stay away from me you psycho!)
Dianne: I'm not gonna hurt ya Kenny... Not yet anyways
Kenny: (You better stay away bitch!)
Dianne(stares into space and laughs evilly) : Haha... mwhaha...
(authors note: this is what me and my friends all imagining mode. She
stares at nothing and can't hear anyone and imagines ways she can kill
Kenny. I'm dead serious!)
Anki: Oh god, she's in imagining mode.
Kyle: What's that?
Anki: You don't want to know....
{pans to Stan and Kylie}
Stan: So what kind of stuff are you into?
Kylie: Sorry, I don't talk to gay fags thank you.
Stan: Dude, you're impossible!
Kylie: How about you? What do you like? No wait, don't. I can guess...
swearing, porn, getting in trouble...
Stan: HEY shut up bitch! I'm the smartest one here, and unlike everyone
else in South Park, I have feelings!
Kylie: Wow that's nice.
Stan: I know.
Kylie: I was being sarcastic dumbass.
Stan: Oh.
{pans to Kyle and Anki}
Kyle: So, how are you liking south park?
Anki: I'm getting along fine here. I hope everyone's nice. I don't make
friends that easily.
Kyle: Well, you've already made four.
Anki: Who?
Kyle: Me, Stan, Kenny and Cartman.
Anki: Dude, I don't want to be friends with fatass!
Kyle: Well, then three friends.
Anki: That's a start.
(Next scene. Classroom)
Mr. Garrison: Eh hem class... (class keeps talking) Can you quiet down
please? (keeps talking) GOD DAMNIT SHUT THE HELL UP!
{class quiets down)
Mr. G: Thank you class, now as I was saying... we have new students today.
They're four girls from Oregon. You can come in now girls.
(Anki, Katherine, Kylie and Dianne walk in)
Mr. G: Why don't you tell us about yourselves.
Anki: Well, I'm Anki and I like to act and write. I get really hyper and am
funny. Also, I'm very sick minded.
(the boys cheer)
Dianne: Well, my name is Dianne and I play violin and I like math.
{silence}
Anki: And she's really hyper!
{class cheers}
Katherine: I like to kill people. (smiles evilly)
Kylie: I hate south park, it sucks ass.
Mr. G: Okay you guys, sit down now.
(Next scene. Recess)
Katherine: So Cartman, do you have a girlfriend?
(Kenny, Kyle and Stan burst out laughing)
Cartman: No, I decided to stay single so I wouldn't hurt any girls
feelings.
Katherine: How sensitive of you...
Kyle: Oh please...
Anki: So Kyle, are you doing anything tonight?
Kyle: Uh I don't know am I?
Anki: Well I was hoping you'd go see a movie with me.
Kyle: Uh, sure.
Anki: Great.
Stan(whispers): Looks like a verge of a relationship, doesn't it?
Kylie: Yeah sure.
Stan: So do you have a boyfriend?
Kylie: Yeah, his name is Joey. He lives with me.
Stan: Really?
Kylie: Yeah, he licks really well.
Stan: Dude you're messed up.
Kylie: That's what I hear.
Katherine: Anki, can me and Cartman come to the movies with you? It can be
a double date.
Cartman: I don't know about that.
Katherine: Popcorns on me.
Cartman: Yeah Kyle, can we come?
Anki: Sure. Dianne, do you want to come? Butter popcorn...
Dianne: Sure!
(authors note: Dianne gets really hyper off of butter!)
Kenny: Can I come?
Anki: Do you honestly want to come to a movie, sit in the dark with Dianne
in the same room?
(Dianne laughs evilly)
Kenny: Uuh... maybe if I can keep my distance.
Kyle: Stan, you should come too.
Anki: And Kylie.
Kylie: Why would I want to go to the movies with a bunch of pervs?
Anki: Kylie, stop hating this so much.
Kylie: Fine, I'll come.
(cuts to the movies. From left to right, the seats are Kenny, Kylie, Anki,
Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Katherine and Dianne)
Katherine: Here Cartman, have some more popcorn.
Cartman(takes a handful): Mmm, thanks!
{Katherine puts her hand on Cartmans on the arm rest}
Cartman: Uh, what are you doing?
Katherine: Nothing. (pulls her hand away)
(pans to Kyle and Anki)
Anki: Uh Kyle?
Kyle: Yeah?
Anki: I know this isn't the right time to tell you but....
Kyle: What?
Anki: I like you.
Kyle: Wow, I'm flattered.
Anki: Good or bad?
Kyle: Good.
Anki: So will you be my boyfriend now?
Kyle: It's a little quick...
Anki: I see.
Kyle: But I think I'll take the chance.
Anki: Okay, great.
{pans to Stan}
Stan: Hear that Cartman? Kyle is Anki's boyfriend now.
Cartman: Gay little hippie couple, are they not?
Stan: Shut up, fatass!
{pans to Kenny and Kylie}
Kenny: Kylie?
Kylie: What?
Kenny: I'm scared
Kylie: Dude, this movie is a comedy.
Kenny: Not of the movie bitch. I'm scared of Dianne. She keeps looking at
me funny.
{cuts to Dianne really fast and shows her smile really evilly}
Kylie: It's okay dude. The worst she can do is kill you.
Kenny: Do you realize what you just said?
Kylie: Yeah, why does it matter? You're just gonna come back to life
tomorrow.
Kenny: True.
Kylie: See, it all works out okay.
{next scene, the boys are walking the girls home}
Stan: So you all live together?
Anki: Yeah.
Kyle: Cool.
Dianne(really hyper): Oh my god! This was soooo fun! We should do this
again! (starts spinning and singing)
Kenny: Whoa.
Katherine: This is our house.
Stan: Oh okay. Well bye.
Anki: Bye. (kisses Kyle and runs inside)
Katherine: Bye Cartman (tries to kiss him)
Cartman: AH! STAY AWAY FROM ME HIPPIE!
{Katherine shrugs and goes inside}
Dianne: G'night Kenny. Sleep well.... Heh heh heh
Stan: Bye Kylie. You know, you're not so bad.
Kylie: Thanks. This town isn't so bad either. Bye dude.
(the girls walk inside and the boys start to walk home)
Kyle: Wow, Anki's great isn't she?
Stan: Dude, you sure got in a relationship quick.
Kyle: Yeah, do you like anyone?
Stan: Kylie's cool.
Kyle: Good luck getting her. She hates you.
Cartman: Katherine's pretty messed up, don't you think?
Kyle: Yeah, anyone's messed up who likes Cartman.
Cartman: AYE!
Kenny: Dude, I don't like Dianne. She's out to get me and I don't know why!
Kyle: She seems really nice.
Kenny: Yeah, if she's not trying to kill you.
{pans to girls}
Anki: Oh my god! I kissed Kyle!
Dianne: Anki, you're so messed up.
Katherine: Cartman is sooo awesome.
Anki: Not more messed up than her (points to Katherine)
Kylie: You were right Anna, I'm starting to like it here.
Anki: Kylie! I told you not to call me that anymore!
Kylie: Oops, sorry.
Anki: You better not tell Kyle that my name is Anna.
Kylie: Okay.
Anki: Promise?
Kylie: OKAY!
Dianne: So, how do you think I can kill Kenny?
Anki: Dianne, Kenny is so sweet, why do you want to kill him?
::Dianne goes into imagining mode::
Katherine: Oh boy...
Kylie: Haha Dianne, you should team up with Cartman!
Anki: Yeah! He like hate Kenny!
Katherine(in dreamy mode): Oh I wonder if Cartman's a good kisser...
Anki: Hey Kasprin?
Katherine: Mmm hmm?
Anki: Just the hell up about Cartman. He's a dumb fatass.
Katherine: No he's not! He's a sweet sensitive guy!
Anki: I think Kasprin the Friendly Drug has been taking a few to many
aspirins.
Kylie: Stan's a dumbass.
Dianne: Whoa, that was random.
Kylie: Haha, I know. But I told him I had a boyfriend.
Anki: You didn't tell him Joey wasn't your boyfriend again, did you?
Kylie: Yup. Come here Joey! (whistles)
{a fluffy white dog comes running in}
Kyle: These people in South Park are so gullible, you can tell these
dumbasses anything and they'll believe you.
Anki: Kyle's not a dumbass! He's sweet.
Dianne: That's true, Kyle is nice.... So is Kenny... heh heh heh.
Katherine: Oh good lord Dianne!
Dianne: What, I was just being friendly.
Anki: I think we should go to bed. I want to hang out with the guys
tomorrow.
Kylie: G'head.
Anki: Ky Ky, I hate it when you say that!
Kylie: IM NOT KY KY!
Anki: Night guys.
(morning)
Katherine: Haha Anki! Look at your hair?
Anki(still sleeping): Shut up Kasprin I'm sleeping here.
Katherine: Dianne, come look at Anki's hair!
(Dianne walks over and starts to laugh)
Anki: What the hell are you doing? (gets up and looks in the mirror)
Anki: Holy shit!
(Kylie walks in)
Kylie: Dude Anki, what's wrong with your hair?
Anki: I'm taking a shower!
(runs to the bathroom and you hear the shower go on)
Kylie: I'm getting dressed, see you guys at breakfast.
(breakfast. Anki is still in the shower)
{doorbell rings}
Kylie: I got it. (gets up and walks to the door. It's the four boys)
Stan: Hey Kylie, what's up?
Kylie: Eating breakfast, why are you coming so early?
Stan: Felt like it.
Kyle: Can we come in?
Kylie: G'head.
(they walk in)
Katherine: CARTMAN! Hi!
Cartman: Eh... Hi.
Katherine: You want some breakfast?
Kyle: Fatass already ate.
Cartman: Shut up Kyle... no I didn't already eat.
Katherine: So you want some breakfast?
Cartman: Hell yeah.
Katherine: The 'fridge is on the left.
(Cartman runs to the fridge.)
Kyle: Where's Anki?
Kylie: In the shower. Her hair was all screwed up.
Kyle: Ah, I see.
Dianne: Hey Kenny, come sit over here!
Kenny: No, I don't think so.
Dianne: Please Kenny... I won't hurt you....
(goes into imagining mode)
Kenny: Holy shit, why is she looking at me like that?
Katherine: You're not safe here Kenny...
Dianne(snapping out of it): Hey Cartman! Can I see you in the other room
for a second?
Cartman: Uh, sure I guess.
(they walk out)
Dianne: I need help.
Cartman: With what?
Dianne: Killing Kenny.
Cartman: Now why would I want to help you kill my best friend?
Dianne: Because you hate him.
Cartman: Oh yeah...
Dianne: So here's what I had in mind....
(whispers a bunch of stuff)
(they walk back in the room)
Katherine: What was that all about?
Dianne: Nothing... (smiles at Cartman who smiles back)
Katherine: Dianne! You didn't....
Dianne: NO!
Katherine: Oh good.
(Anki walks in the room)
Anki: Hey dudes.
Kyle: Hey Anki, wussup?
Anki: Stuff, you?
Kyle: About the same.
Anki: What'd I miss?
Kyle: Nothing really. We were trying to decide what to do today.
Anki: I see. What have you come up with?
Kyle: Bowling, amusement park, laser tag...
Anki: Oh! Laser tag sounds fun! Let's do that.
Kyle: Everyong okay with that?
Stan: Sounds good.
Dianne: Laser tag it is! (then whispers to Cartman) Perfect!
(laser tag)
Cartman: You blues are going down!
teams are separated by red and blue. Teams are Blue: Kyle, Anki, Stan and
Kylie. Red: Cartman, Dianne, Kenny, Katherine)
(they enter the laser tag room and put on the armor)
Announcer: Game starts in 3...2...1... NOW!
(everyone starts running around shooting eachother)
Anki: Haha! I got you fatass!
Cartman: AYE! You're gonna pay for that!
Kyle: ANKI! WATCH OUT! (jumps in front of her and takes Cartmans shot)
Anki: Wow thanks Kyle! (pecks him and runs away)
{pans to Dianne who is silently following Kenny around)
Dianne(into walkie talkie): Dianne to Cartman, Dianne to Cartman. I've got
target in site. Repeat I've got target in site!
Cartman(voice through walkie talkie): Ready to take action?
Dianne: Yes. Over and out.
(Dianne creeps up behind Kenny and pulls out a metal bat)
Dianne: MWHAHAHAH!!!
(Kenny turns around and screams!)
(Dianne starts hitting Kenny over and over in the head and everyone runs
up)
Dianne: TAKE THIS! AND THIS! AND THIS! AHAHAH!
Stan: Holy shit dude! Dianne's beating the crap outa Kenny!
Cartman: Go Dianne!
(Dianne takes one final hit and Kenny falls over, dead)
Stan: Oh my god! Dianne killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastard!
Anki: Hey, don't call me friend a bastard!
Kyle: Sorry.
Dianne(still crazy): Now there's just one thing left to do! Where's the
bathroom?
Anki: Dianne, don't do it...
(Dianne starts running towards the bathroom, carrying Kenny and laughing
manically)
(Dianne enters bathroom and shoves Kenny in the toilet and flushes it over
and over again)
{authors note: remember that paper Kenny? Well her dream killing of him was
flushing him down the toilet so I had to put this in!}
Stan: Kylie, your friends fagged up.
Kylie: I know, isn't she awesome?
Stan: Uh, yeah. Can I tell you something?
Kylie: G'head.
Stan: I like you.
Kylie: HA!
Stan: Will you be my girlfriend?
Kylie: Get a life pervert! (walks away)
Kyle(to Stan): Told you.
(back at the girl's house, all of them are there, including the boys)
Anki: Let's play truth or dare...!
Kyle: Yeah!
Dianne: Anna, you're so weird sometimes.
Anki: HEY!
Dianne: Oops, sorry!
Kyle: Anna?
Anki: Yeah, that's my real name. (blushes)
Kyle: Why don't you go by that?
Anki: Because it sucks ass.
Kyle: I see.
Anki: So don't ever call me Anna.
Kyle: Okay.
Anki: So are we playing truth or dare or not?
Stan: Okay let's.
Anki: I'll start. Kyle truth or dare.
Kyle: Dare.
Everyone: Oooooh!
Anki: Kiss me.
Kyle: Why is that a dare. We've done that already.
Anki: We've only done it on the cheek. I'm daring you to kiss me on the
lips.
Kyle: Okay...
(Kyle leans over and kisses Anki, who starts to blush really bad)
Katherine: Oooh, Anki's blushing!
Anki: Shut up Kasprin!
Kyle: Okay, my turn. Truth or dare... Cartman.
Cartman: Truth.
Anki: (cough cough) pussie (cough cough)
Cartman: AYE!
Kyle: Okay, do you like anyone here. I mean like like.
Cartman: Yeah.
Kyle: Who?
Cartman: Well....
(Katherine is smiling and holding her breath)
Cartman: I like... Dianne.
(Katherine frowns and let's out her breath)
Katherine: DIANNE? WHAT ABOUT ME?
Cartman: You're a freaky stalker.
Katherine: Fine, be a bitch.
Cartman: Okay, I will be.
Katherine: Damnit!
Cartman: Uh... Dianne, truth or dare.
Dianne: Truth.
Cartman: Do you like me?
Dianne: Hell no!
Cartman: Why fucking not?
Dianne: Because you're a fat piece of shit.
Cartman: AYE!
Dianne: My turn! Kasprin, truth or dare?
Katherine: Dare.
Dianne: Okay... I dare you to go run outside screaming for 5 minutes.
Katherine: Alright. (get's up and leaves and you hear her screaming)
Stan: Hey, Kylie? Can I ask you a question.
Kylie: Depends.
Stan: I'll ask you anyways then. WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME/
Kylie: Because you're a stupid pervert.
Stan: I am not! Besides Kyle, I am the most sensitive and caring one here!
I'm also the least perverted! Just give me a chance!
Kylie: NO!
(phone rings)
Anki: Got it.... (picks up the phone) Hello? pause Oh hey mom. pause Not
bad just hanging with some new friends. pause Cartman, Stan and Kyle.
pause yes they are boys. pause What? pause No! pause Why? pause Oh. pause Okay. pause tomorrow at 10? pause Okay. pause
Bye. (hangs up)
Kyle: What was that about?
Anki: We...we have to move back.
Kyle: What? No you can't.
(Katherine comes in out of breath)
Katherine: What'd I miss?
Kylie: We're moving back to Oregon.
Anki: I don't want to move back, it's not fair (starts to cry)
Dianne: There's nothing really to miss for me, I did what I wanted to do.
Kylie: Same here I'm happy to move back.
Katherine: And since Cartman doesn't like me back, what's the point?
Anki: But you guys, I have a boyfriend here now! I can't leave.
Kylie: Suck it up.
Anki: Hey!
Kyle: You guys just stop fighting.
Stan: Yeah, let's just spend the rest of the time together and make it as
good as possible.
Anki: A sleepover!
Kyle: What?
Anki: A sleepover! You guys can sleepover!
Dianne: Uh Anki, they're boys.
Anki: So?
Kylie: Haha Anki...
Anki: Coed sleepover!
Katherine: Whoo hoo!
Anki: I'll get the butter!
(An hour later, where everyone is really hyper. Don't Want to Grow Up by
Simple Plan is playing in the background)
Anki: Whoo hoo! PILLOW FIGHT!!
Dianne: YEAH YEAH! PILLOW FIGHT!!
(they all start whacking each other with pillows)
Kylie: DIE STAN! (hits him)
Anki: COME HERE KYLE! (runs after him and kisses him)
Cartman: EEEW! JEW KISSES!
Anki: IM NOT JEWISH FATASS!
Cartman: OKAY THAN HIPPIE KISSES!
(Dianne is jumping around holding a bowl of extra buttery popcorn)
Dianne: WHOOO HOOO! YAAAAAHOO!
Stan: Dude, it's 3 am in the morning!
Anki: So what?
(they all start dancing around, looking really drunk.)
(fade out. Fade in. shows everyone in their sleeping bags)
(fade out. Fade in. still everyone is in their sleeping bags. There's a
knock at the door)
Anki(groggily): Go away, we're sleeping. (glances at the clock) OH MY GOD!
It's 10 a clock! (everyone wakes up)
(Anki goes to open the door and it's her mom, Cathy)
Cathy: Whoa, what happened in here?
Anki: Sleepover. Come on in.
Cathy: Are those BOYS?
Anki: Yeah, these are our new friends.
Cathy: And they slept over?
Anki: Yes.
Cathy: I hope I can trust you enough to trust...
Anki: NOTHING happened!
Cathy: Okay, introduce me to everyone.
Anki: These are my friends Stan and Cartman... (gestures to them, then takes
a breath) And this is my boyfriend Kyle.
Cathy: Anna!
Anki: NOTHING HAPPENED!
Cartman: Yeah, the two hippies just kissed a bunch.
Kyle: Shut up fatass!
Cathy: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Are you ready to go?
Anki: No actually, we over slept.
Cathy: I see. Well, go get ready. I'm gonna go make some coffee.
Anki: Okay, let's go pack you guys. You can help us too(meaning Cartman,
Stan and Kyle)
Kyle: Okay.
(they go upstairs into their room and start throwing things into the
suitcase)
Anki: I'm gonna miss you Kyle.
Dianne: Oh Anki, stop being so overly dramatic.
Kylie: Yeah, you can see him again.
Anki(flatly): Sure.
Dianne: I'm all packed.
Kylie: Me too.'
Anki: I guess I am too.
(they walk downstairs and Cathy is sitting on the couch)
Cathy: Ready?
Anki: I guess.
Cathy: Okay, let's go. (everyone but Anki follows her out)
Anki: Hey, mum? Can I have a minute?
Cathy: Sure.
(everyone leaves but her and Kyle)
Kyle: I'm gonna miss you.
Anki: Me too.
Kyle: I want you to have my jacket.
Anki: Really? Awesome.
(Kyle takes it off and gives it to Anki)
Anki: Thanks dude. (they kiss)
Kyle: I'll walk you out.
Anki: Kay.
(they go outside)
Cartman: Oh look at the too hippie love birds!
Anki: Shut up fatass!
Cathy: Anna!
Anki: Sorry mum.
(everyone gets in the car and they roll down the windows)
Kylie: Bye Stan! I'll miss you!
Anki: Whoa that's a change in perspective.
Dianne: Yeah.
Anki: WAIT! (takes out a piece of paper and writes her phone number and
address and tosses it out the window) HERE YOU GO KYLE!
Kyle: Thanks!
(they all wave)
Cathy: So did you have fun?
Girls: Yeah.
Cathy: Cool, we can come back here for winter break.
Girls: Hurray!
Dianne: That's cool, I'm gonna miss Cartman. He's really funny.
Katherine: You took my man!
Dianne: Take an aspirin Kasprin.
Kylie: I guess South Park isn't so bad.
Anki: Told you. (turns around) Hey look! They're still waving!
(shows the back of the car and you can see everyone waving)
The End