I still don't own "Whose Line…" or Jak II, nor do I own "American Idol," which was referenced in the first chapter. I also don't own the New Kids on the Block.

Whose Line is it Anyway—Jak II Style!

Part 2

by Phoenix Flower

DREW: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. We're gonna keep the show going with a game called "Unlikely Superheroes." This is for all four of you.

(Cheers and applause. Jak stands in the main area of the stage as the other three stand to one side.)

What happens in this game is these guys are gonna be unlikely superheroes with weird names. They're gonna name each other as they come in and try to mess each other up. What I need from the audience is an unlikely superhero name for Jak.

WOMAN IN AUDIENCE: Soap Man!

DREW: Soap Man. And what's the world crisis for Soap Man?

MAN IN AUDIENCE: Too many germs!

DREW: Too many germs. Soap Man, there are too many germs in the world. What are you gonna do?

JAK: Time to clean the World Crisis Monitor. (eyes widen in horror) Great Louis Pasteur's ghost! The entire world is overrun with germs! I hope my super friends get here soon.

(Enter Daxter.)

DAXTER: I got here as fast as I could, Soap Man.

JAK: Thank God you're here…Blind Hummingbird Man.

(Daxter zips around randomly, rapidly flapping his hands.)

DAXTER: Hummmmmm! (Smacks against Jak's leg.) I got here as fast as—(Smacks against Drew's desk.) as fast as I could, but—(Pretends to smack against the lens of one of the cameras.)

(Enter Keira.)

KEIRA: Sorry I'm late. I stepped in a puddle of germs and had to disinfect my shoe.

DAXTER: I know that voice! It's…Hyperactive Cheerleader Girl!

(Keira dances and pretends to shake pom-poms.)

KEIRA (chanting): Gimme a "G"! Gimme an "E"! Gimme an "R," "M," "S"! Put it all together and what does it spell? Germs! Bacteria and viruses are filling up the world—I'm gonna save the day, 'cause I'm Hyperactive Cheerleader Girl!

(Enter Torn.)

TORN: Sorry I'm late. An Ebola victim bled all over me, and I had to get my clothes dry cleaned.

KEIRA (still dancing and chanting): Here's the greatest superhero in all the land! Three cheers for…Thinks-He's-Invisible Man! Yay!

(Meanwhile, Daxter is still humming and zipping around, knocking into Keira and Torn.)

TORN (spooky voice): Whooo-oo-oo! Where's the mysterious voice coming from? (Sneaks up behind Jak.) Boo! Ha, ha, I scared you!

(Jak rolls his eyes. Torn sneaks up on Keira and kisses her passionately. Keira pretends to slap him.)

TORN: Lucky shot.

(We see Daxter perched on Drew's desk.)

DAXTER (to Drew): Don't worry, Soap Man. We'll get those nasty germs real good!

JAK: I'm over here.

(Daxter turns around.)

DAXTER: Oh, right.

(He flaps his hands and hums as he zips past Jak and smacks into the piano on the other side of the stage. He drops to the floor and pretends to be unconscious.)

TORN: Well, my work here is done. (He exits.)

KEIRA: Gimme a "B"! Gimme a "Y"! Gimme an "E"! Put it all together and what does it spell? Bye!! (Exits.)

(Daxter stands up and shakes his head quickly.)

DAXTER: I guess I oughta get going, too. (Exits.)

JAK: That's not the exit; that's the broom closet! Oh, well. Another crisis resolved. Time to wash the dishes.

(Walks back to his seat and is joined by the others. Audience cheers and applauds.)

DREW: A million points for each of you, especially Torn and Keira. Now let's move on to one of my favorite games: "Scenes from a Hat." This is for all four of you.

(Cheers and applause as they stand in pairs on either side of the stage.)

JAK: What happens is, before the show, we ask the audience to write down different suggestions for things. We take the good ones and put 'em in this hat, then we see how many our performers can act out for you, starting with…"Things Krew is sick of hearing."

(Daxter comes out.)

DAXTER: Hey, Tons of Fun! When's the baby due?

(Buzzer. He goes back. Keira comes out.)

KEIRA: Was that an eclipse? Oh, never mind; it was just Krew floating past the sun.

(Buzzer. She goes back. Jak comes out. He pretends to be pulled by something.)

JAK: Can't…fight…gravitational…pull! (Pretends to get sucked into the camera.) AHHH!!

(Buzzer. He goes back.)

DREW: "Rejected first drafts of Jak II lines."

(Jak comes out.)

JAK: Ashelin is the baron's third cousin twice removed?

(Buzzer. He goes back. Torn comes out.)

TORN: New faces give me the heebie-jeebies.

(Buzzer. He goes back. Daxter comes out.)

DAXTER: God, I miss the New Kids on the Block.

(Buzzer. He goes back. Jak comes out.)

JAK: I'm gonna give Praxis such a pinch!

(Buzzer. He goes back.)

DREW: "Secrets you wish you could unlock by collecting Precursor orbs."

(Keira comes out.)

KEIRA: Toggle Jak's clothes.

(Buzzer. She goes back as she and Jak laugh. Daxter comes out.)

DAXTER: Big Ass Mode.

(Buzzer. He goes back. Torn comes out.)

TORN: Daxter and Tess's Secret Home Video.

(Buzzer. He goes back. Jak comes out.)

JAK: Muzzle Daxter.

(Buzzer. He goes back.)

DREW: "Things you've always wanted to tell fanfiction writers."

(Jak comes out.)

JAK: I'm not gay, so quit pairing me with Torn.

(Buzzer. He goes back. Daxter comes out.)

DAXTER: I been waitin' two years! Change me back!!

(Long buzzer. He goes back. Audience cheers and applauds.)

DREW: We'll be right back, find out who the winner is. Don't go away! (Throws the hat like a Frisbee.)

Stay tuned for the next chapter. By the way, I have nothing against the Jak/Torn coupling, even though I'm a fan of Jak/Keira. It just seemed like something Jak might say.