Hi, all! Please read this and review! This chapter is dedicated to Joanne Katharine (J.K., if you haven't already guessed) Rowling, who's birthday is tomorrow! Coincidently, her birthday shares the same day as Harry's! Of course, she meant to do that… I think…

The End-of-Term Feast

July Thirtieth, Two Thousand and Three

Summery: It's a little Angsty, but I'm not that good at writing Angst. It takes place during the part in the fifth book where it's the End-of Term Feast, but Harry doesn't go. It's a little bit of everybody's point of view, but it starts out with Ron's POV at the Feast.

Chapter One: The Feast and the Letter

Ron and Hermione headed for the Great Hall, without Harry. He told Ron to go ahead, he would pack and then come down, but they both knew that he would not be coming. Ron suspected that Harry was still mourning Sirius and he didn't want to be mentioned by Dumbledore like they both had a suspicious feeling he would be.

" Where's Harry?" Hermione asked when they sat down at the Gryffindor table.

" Er… he says he's packing… but… I don't think he will be coming…" Hermione understood immediately. Then, all talking stopped, and the Hall was perfectly silent. Dumbledore had stood up.

" Good evening, students and staff, and welcome to the end-of-term feast. Before I bore you with any more rambling, dig in!" he said, and food appeared at the tables. Ron and Hermione grabbed their food, but ate silently. Neither could think of something to say, though they were both thinking of the same thing.

Harry was still missing Sirius, and felt that it was his fault that Sirius died. Ever since that talk with Dumbledore, he was very distant. He hardly talked at all anymore. Whenever the Department of Mysteries, Sirius, or the prophecy was mentioned, Harry would rush away, claming he had to visit Hagrid, or pack, or do something he made up on the spot.

Ron and Hermione expected this would happen if the topic of the DoM or Sirius was brought up, but they didn't know why he reacted like that when they talked about the prophecy. Before they realized that Harry did not want to talk about it, Ron and Hermione had played a sort of guessing game, guessing what the prophecy that Voldemort wanted so badly said. Ron and Hermione came up with stupid things like,

" It tells you which end of the blast-ended skreut is the front," and "it said that Trelawney will predict gruesome deaths for Harry tomorrow," and " Hagrid will not being a dangerous creature to the castle next year." Of course, they were only joking, trying to make Harry's mood lighter, but if anything, it made his mood much worse. He had ended up yelling at them for joking about something so serious, and storming off, furious, which made their curiosity of what it really said grow even more.

It was quite obvious that Harry knew something they didn't. Hermione had suggested that he knew what the prophecy really said, but didn't want to tell them. Of course, they too wanted to know, so Ron said, "Why don't we just ask him?" Hermione disagreed instantly, and told him that there must be a good reason for Harry not telling them. Ron had insisted on asking him, and told her that he would do so. He had yet to do it. He had not found the courage to ask.

Finally, after a very long silence from them during their meal, Hermione said quietly, " I wonder exactly what it said…" She knew that Ron would know what she was talking about.

" Maybe it said that Sirius was going to die…" Hermione opened her mouth in surprise.

" You really think…? Yes, well I suppose it could… but if it did…I could understand how Harry is acting if it is… you know, Ron, I think that might be exactly it!!!" She said. Both of them were surprised at Ron's brilliance.

" No wonder he's been so distant!" Ron said. " That's got to be it! There can't be anything worse for Harry than that."

Little did they know, thought Dumbledore, who was listening in on their conversation, well aware of what the prophecy truly said, how wrong they were.

Seeing that most of the students were finished, he stood once again.

" Now, I know that this is the last day of school for three months, and I'm sure all of you will be very sad." He waited for the laughs and cheers to subside. " But I will hope to see you all next term, on September first. I must warn you, however, to protect yourselves, and stay safe. As much as you may still disbelieve, Lord Voldemort (all but Hermione flinched) is out there, and we must be prepared. We must unite together, be brave, cunning, build strong friendships, and be willing to achieve a lot to fight him. All of us must join as one to defeat him. Remember, it is our choices who make us who we truly are." He said, and Ron and Hermione noticed he looked directly at the Slytherins.

" Many of us are, or will be, going through hard times. A few have died at the hands of Voldemort since his return. One died just this week." A few low whispers broke out, no one had heard of any deaths.

" Sirius Black died, trying to fight against Voldemort just a few nights ago." A gasp came from the hall and Ron and Hermione looked at eachother, worried. " He gave his life trying to save his godson, and so that others could fight, and though you may think him guilty of murder, I know him innocent." And, to Ron and Hermione's astonishment, he told the whole Hall of Sirius's innocence. He told the whole story, from the meeting in the shrieking shack, only excluding the part where Hermione and Harry broke the law and used the time-turner.  Many heads turned to scan the Gryffindor table, looking for Harry, but turned back as they saw that he was not present.

" Some of you may not believe me, but I would like those who do to honor his memory. He died to save Harry Potter's life…" More gasps. Ron looked up and saw tears falling on Hermione's cheeks.

" Please honor him, and fight, just as he did, selflessly, for the light. I am not asking you to give your lives, as he did. I am just asking you to help some part of the war, which is soon coming. I am asking you to ask yourself where you feel loyalty to, and to fight for it. Good luck." He paused, and many people were whispering to their friends. After a minute's silence, he added quietly,

" And, please, leave Harry Potter alone for a while. He has had a huge burden placed on his shoulders, in addition to the death of his only fatherly figure. Do not ask him… he will tell when he is ready." Dumbledore said, looking straight at Ron and Hermione and Neville.

" Now, on a much lighter note, the winner for the house cup this year is Ravenclaw…!"

…

The feast ended a while after that, and as the students filed out of the hall to do some last minute packing, Ron, Neville, and Hermione stayed back, talking. Without realizing it, they were the last students to leave.

" What 'burden'?" Ron asked very quietly, as he had the feeling that Dumbledore was listening to them. Indeed he was, as he spoke next, walking up to them.

" Please, I must ask you once again to not bother Harry about it. As I said, he will tell you when he is ready. Right now, he is mourning over Sirius, and blaming himself, not to mention the burden is on his mind. We had a long talk that night in my office. What I want you to do now is to convince him that it is not his fault; it's mine."

Hermione and Ron nodded. Neville looked confused. " Sir, how is it your fault?"

Dumbledore sighed; the first time any of them had seen him do so. In fact, the only one to whom he showed weakness was Harry, but neither of the three knew this.

"It is my fault in many counts, but in reality, it is everyone's fault. Mostly, however, it is mine. I did not tell Harry what he needed to know. It is an old man's mistakes, as I have told him."

" I fear that he is angry with me, yet also forgiving. He has a right to be angry with me. Indeed, I am angry with me." Again, he sighed. " I knew that he would not come to the feast tonight. Can I ask you to give him this?" He handed Hermione a letter, addressed to Harry.

She nodded. " Of course, Professor."

" Thank you. Have a good summer, all of you." He said, and walked away.

Ron, Hermione, and Neville were by now the only ones left in the Hall. They stood gawking at eachother. Neither of them could think of what to say, though many questions filled their minds.

" Well, I guess we should head back… and give him this…" Hermione said. Without another word, the three went toward the seventh floor.

Ron was gaping at Dumbledore as he left the hall. What on earth? What had Dumbledore done to give Harry a right to be angry? What did the letter Hermione was holding say? And what had Harry and Dumbledore discussed in the Headmaster's office that day?

At first, they had all assumed that Dumbledore was trying to console Harry, and dispose of his grief. But ever since then, Harry had been even quieter. They had to have said more than that.

Suddenly, Ron had the urge to read Harry's letter. He wanted to know what Dumbledore wrote. But he knew that he could not. It would be betraying Harry's and Dumbledore's trust, and Hermione would never let him.

 When they reached the very full Common Room, Hermione handed them the letter with an anxious glance, and went up to the girl's dorm. Ron and Neville went to their own dorm, and Ron laid the letter on Harry's bedside table, as his curtains were closed. He couldn't help but notice shattered glass on the floor next to Harry's bed.

He also noticed when a hand reached out of the closed curtains, an hour later, when Harry must have thought everyone asleep, (all but Ron were) and grab the letter. Ron pretended to be asleep, and listened closely.

***

Harry grabbed the thing that he saw Ron place on his bedside table. He saw it was a letter addressed to him. He ripped it open and read;

Harry;

I know that you are in pain right now. I, believe it or not, am also in pain. I knew Sirius too. He was a great man, and he died so that you could live. He risked his life for you. I know that you blame yourself for his death, but it is not entirely your fault. For the most part, as I have already explained to you, it is my fault.

I told you the reasons it is my fault that Sirius is gone. An old man's mistakes. I regret everything that took its course to make Sirius in danger. The blame lies with many people, this is true, but most of it lies with me.

I think that you are angry with me right now. I know that if I were you, I would be angry with me. I made mistakes. No one is perfect, no matter whom they are, as you should know yourself. Everyone, you are thinking, is expecting you to defeat Voldemort. You know it will happen. There is nothing you can do. You are the one chosen.

I was faced with a similar dilemma fifty years ago. I had to kill Grindywald. I would either kill or be killed. Granted, there was not a prophecy about it, but it was obvious that no one else could kill him. I know slightly how you feel.

I also know that right now you are thinking, just as you did in my office, that I know nothing of how you feel. Well, I did feel very similar when I was faced with that challenge. True, I was about 85 years older when I had to then you are now, but I felt at least just a small bit of what you feel.

You feel like the whole world is resting on your shoulders. You feel that you will fail, and in doing so, end the course of the world as we know it. You don't want to have to face to the challenge, not because you have no courage, but because you aren't powerful enough. Why can't someone else do it? You may ask. But, in all truth, you have known deep in your mind that you would be the one to defeat him all along. You feel that you will become a murderer. You don't want to have to resort to that, plus you don't think you can. And if you don't do it properly, then the world will be doomed. You feel that you are not prepared, you are not strong enough. Yet, somewhere deep in the back of your mind, you know that you can do it. And you will do it.

I felt exactually the same way. And that is how I know how you are feeling.

Yet, I also don't know how you are feeling. I don't know what it is like to not have a mother, a father. I always had a parent. You have not. You have lived with the Dursleys, uncared for and unloved, for ten years. Ten long years of being beaten up by your cousin, blamed for everything, lied to when asked about your past, and having no one. You had no one to confide in, no one to laugh with, no one to cry with, no one to comfort, or be comforted by. You felt misunderstood, sad, and alone. Hagrid told me that they called you a freak.

Then, suddenly, you are thrown into the Magical world. Suddenly, all of your questions are answered, but the answers were unexpected. But in the Magical world you have adventures and friends. I imagine you felt, for the first time in your life, truly happy and accepted. I imagine that for the first time you felt that you were home.

All was going well. But then, in your third year, you met Sirius, who, instead of being an escaped murderer trying to kill you, turned out to be an innocent man, not to mention your godfather. I have no idea how that would feel. Suddenly, after almost all of your life, having no parent, no mentor, Sirius is there. You seemed very happy, and I am sure you were.

For a while, you were the happiest you were since you were one. You had a godfather. He knew your parents. He was the only one whom you considered a parent. The only problem was that he was a convicted murderer. That meant that he was always on the run. He had to hide from the law. It became hard for you to see him. You couldn't tell anyone but your friends about him. He had to be a secret.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you wanted to tell people that finally you had a parent. Not officially, of course, but he was as close to your dad as you could get. But he had to be a secret. You were always fearing his capture. You wanted to broadcast to the world that finally you had someone. You were slightly discouraged that you could not, but you still felt loved for the first time.

Then, this past week, though you may not wish for me to bring the subject up, the one person who made you happiest, the one person you cared about almost more than any other, the one person who played the role of your father for 2 happy years was gone. And the worse part, you are thinking, is that he died for you. Because of you, for you, he dueled with his cousin, and fell into the veil. And that's what makes you hurt the most.

I do know how you feel about the prophecy and your role in the final battle, but I can only guess as to what your feelings are about Sirius. I have no idea what it is to have no one who loves you for years, then have someone, then have him taken away again. For that I am very sorry. In a matter of speaking, I took that away from you. That is why you should be angry with me (not to mention the fact that I didn't answer the question you asked five years ago).

However, I want you to know that you do have people who love and care for you, not just because you're the Boy-Who-Lived. All of your teachers, with the possible exception of one, and you know whom I'm talking about, the Weasleys, Hermione, Neville, Remus, the Order, and I are just a few examples. We all care for you and your safety. We want you to be happy, and we know that it's hard.

I, as I have told you, have watched you through out your adventures at Hogwarts. I feel that I know you closer than anyone. You feel like a son to me, Harry. Never forget that.

I can imagine that you were mad at me before, but now, after I have brought up all of these painful subjects and memories, you are downright furious with me. I understand that. I just wanted to talk to you, and let you know that we all care about you, and we hate to see you hurt, physically and emotionally.

The whole point of this letter was to tell you that I… I love you and I care.

Sincerely;

Albus Dumbledore

This is not just a one-chapter fic… two chapters at the least. I've already started the second chapter, tho I haven't written much.

Please review and tell me what you think!