Ok, here's the second chapter! I don't really know how far I'm going with this story. Please read and review!

Thanks to all of my reviewers! This chapter is dedicated to you all!

Chapter Two: Post and Ron

Tears ran down Harry's cheeks as he finished reading. He was not angry at Dumbledore. He was actually a little glad that he had done this, written this all out for Harry. He got out of bed, opened the hangings, to get some parchment and a quill and ink out of his trunk, unaware that Ron was awake and watching him.

Ron had not seen what his face looked like while he read the letter, as the curtains to Harry's bed were closed, but he did hear Harry's small, quiet sobs, sniffles, and sighs. He did not like to see his friend in pain, but how could he help if he didn't know why he was in pain? Of course, he knew that part of it was Sirius, but he could sense that there was something Harry wasn't telling them, and he wanted to find out.

Harry began to write his letter to Dumbledore.

Dear Professor Dumbledore;

Then, he stopped. He knew what he wanted to say, but how to word it?

You are correct, as much as I hate to admit it to myself. That is exactually how I feel about Sirius, about the Prophecy. How are you so good at guessing other people's feelings?

You said that you were faced with the same situation with Grindywald. I can see that, now. Do you have any advice for me on how to deal with that?

I know that you knew that I would be at the feast tonight. I discovered something tonight. Something that made me angry at myself. Sirius gave me a two-way mirror that he and James used to use so that I could contact him if S- Professor Snape was giving me a hard time. Well, I didn't want to lure Sirius out of the house in any way, so I completely forgot about it. I just realized that I could have easily used that to contact Sirius to check to see if he was in the Department of Mysteries or not.

I am the stupidest, thickest, prat I ever knew. I am an idiot, a git, an imbecile, and every thing else I can think of that means that I am a stupid jerk. I can't believe that I forgot about that! That mirror could have saved his life!

I'm mentally kicking myself. I hate myself right now… no, I don't hate only myself, I hate Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. Because the Boy-Who-Lived simply had to 'play the hero' as Hermione put it. I just had to let common sense slip my mind, and drag my friends and the Order into danger. I should have known that Voldemort was trying to trick me. I should have known that he would use me. How could I be such an idiot? How could Harry Potter, the Git-Who-Lived-And-Made-An-Ass-Of-Himself-By-Putting-His-Friends-In-Danger-And-Killing-His-Godfather be such an idiot?

It's not your fault, Professor. It's mine. Fully mine. I am not really mad at you, just a little annoyed that you didn't tell me the prophecy, and kept me in the dark all year, but I fully understand your reasoning now, and I don't blame you. Yes, the letter brought up painful memories, but they had already been brought up, when I discovered the mirror tonight, and visited Nearly-Headless Nick.

I asked him, as I am sure you know by now, if Sirius could come back, as a ghost. He said no, because he wasn't afraid of the afterlife. He said that Sirius would go on. I understand that, but it also makes me mad at Sirius. I need him. I need someone who, well, loves me, like a father.

Which brings me to another point: thanks for caring for me. I need it, and I know that I need it. It's helped me through… everything. Ever since I can remember, the thing that I wanted most of all out of everything in the world was friends and family: people who cared about me and loved me. That may sound kind of selfish. But, when I came to Hogwarts, just like you said, I had my wish. Then, more got added, and I got the thing that I hadn't even realized I wanted more than friends: my parents. A mother and a father. And Sirius came. He was as much as a father to me as I'll never have.

I was happy, just as you said, for a couple of years. Then, Cedric died, because I told him to take the cup with me. That was the first death that I had seen in 13 years. And I was stunned. But my friends and Sirius comforted me. Because of that, I felt better.

Now, Sirius is gone. And there's no one to comfort me. Sirius isn't here to take the pain away. Which gives me even more grief. And my friends are… I guess you could say… afraid to bring up the subject. I don't blame them. I think that part of the problem is that they don't understand how I feel. They just don't understand about how I felt with Sirius, just as you don't, and they don't know about the Prophecy. I don't plan on telling anyone soon. So my friends aren't comforting me about it, and I need them to.

I know this letter must sound really selfish. I'm sorry for that.

Please tell me you didn't mention me at the feast.

From;

Harry

He folded it into an envelop, sealed it, and called to Hedwig, who was sitting at his window.

" Hey, Girl. Can you give this to Professor Dumbledore?" She bowed and left. Harry, checking to see if anyone else was awake (Ron was pretending to be asleep) plopped down on his bed. He had the sudden urge to do something, but what to do, he didn't know.

He sighed loudly. " Why is my life so hard?" He asked no one in particular. Ron wanted to answer him.

" And why am I such an idiot?" Ron's curiosity arouse even more. " It's all my fault, because I'm too much of a prat to remember the mirror." Now Ron was very confused. What mirror? Then he remembered the shattered glass near Harry's bed that he saw when he first came in. Oh.

" Sirius, why? I need you!" Harry whispered, but Ron heard all the same. He suddenly felt guilty for eavesdropping (sort-of) on his friend. This was the most he had said in days.

" Sirius, I miss you! I love you!" Tears flowed down Harry's cheeks. Then, Hedwig swooped down into the window, carrying another letter. She looked at Harry with an I'm-sorry look, and held out her leg.

" Thanks, girl. I'll read it later." Harry said. Hedwig flew off to the Owlery, and Harry placed her letter on top of the other one from Dumbledore, on the night stand table. Then, closing his curtains and placing a silencing charm on himself, he went to sleep.

Ron was still up, however. He was very curious, and needed to know what Dumbledore's first letter said. He knew it was his friend's privacy, though, so he wanted to make sure Harry was asleep before reading. After waiting for a few minutes, and Harry showing no signs of consciousness, Ron carefully grabbed the first letter.

Harry;

I know that you are in pain right now. I, believe it or not, am also in pain. I knew Sirius too. He was a great man, and he died so that you could live. He risked his life for you. I know that you blame yourself for his death, but it is not entirely your fault. For the most part, as I have already explained to you, it is my fault.

I told you the reasons it is my fault that Sirius is gone. An old man's mistakes. I regret everything that took its course to make Sirius in danger. The blame lies with many people, this is true, but most of it lies with me.

I think that you are angry with me right now. I know that if I were you, I would be angry with me. I made mistakes. No one is perfect, no matter who they are, as you should know yourself.

That was as far as Ron got before falling asleep, the letter still clutched in his hand.

**

When Ron woke the next morning, it was very late. It was the day that they were going home on the Hogwarts Express. He knew that Harry would not be in a good mood.

Suddenly, he realized that he was still holding Harry's letter. Making sure no one was watching (they had all gone to breakfast by now) he placed it on Harry's bedside table, just in time.

An instant later, Harry rushed into the room to finish packing his stuff.

" Finally up, are you, Ron?" He commented dully.

" Uh… yeah." Ron said. He hurried to dress, and went down for breakfast.

When Ron had gone, Harry sighed and dug to the back of his trunk, where he had placed the most recent letter from Dumbledore. He opened it and read;

Harry;

You are not being selfish at all. Everyone deserves love, and a family.

Now, let me say this once more.

You are NOT an idiot, or stupid. You are not the Git-Who-Lived-And-Made-An-Ass-Of-Himself-By-Putting-His-Friends-In-Danger-And-Killing-His-Godfather. You acted as 'the hero' because you care about your friends and you are a Gryffindor. As Professor Snape has reminded me many times, Gryffindors tend to… act stupidly with out thinking when they sense danger. I cannot blame you, nor, I am sure you will find, can your friends.

Hermione did ask you to check to see if Sirius was at the Headquarters, and that was the smart thing to do. It was not your fault that the Malfoy's had expected this and told Kretcher to lie to you. You had no way of knowing. And, if that had happened to me, even I would have gone ahead to the Department Of Mysteries.

You do not have to thank us for caring. We all care about you deeply, and don't like to see you hurt. Your friends, on instinct, are… not bothering you, because they don't like to see you hurt, but understand that this is your way of coping.

It is not your fault, Harry. You, upon the insistence of your friends, checked to make sure that this was not a trick. You could not have known that it was indeed a way to lure you to the prophecy. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! I really don't want to have to yell, but it's the only way the point will come across to you.

Please try not to hate yourself, Harry. I know that it is hard for you, and you are blaming yourself--- no, you are blaming the Boy-Who-Lived. I can understand hating yourself. I did.

Amazing, isn't it? I, Albus Dumbledore, known to some as the greatest wizard of our time, once hated myself. I thought that I did not deserve to live, just as I'm sure you do. Many years ago, something remotely similar happened to me. One of the first casualties of the new war against Grindywald had happened, and I was certain that I was to blame. The man died because he fought for me. He died for me. He trusted me, and I should not have been trusted, or so I thought at the time. That, I thought, would have been the biggest mistake of my life. Well, I was wrong. I later made an even bigger mistake.

I cut myself. I felt just as you felt, only perhaps a little less hurt, as it was not my father who died, but I still felt that I was responsible. So, I felt that I did not deserve to live. I sliced my wrist once every day at first. Just small, unnoticeable cuts. Then, it became worse. I had the urge to cut all of the time. You see, it becomes addicting.

Then, someone realized what I was doing, and understood immeadtly why. I was rushed to the hospital wing, where I was treated, and told not to do it again. That was when I realized that I had made an even worse decision than before.

I hated myself for letting that person die, after they trusted me, and did all that I said, and they were a very good friend, but I also hated myself for trying to end my troubles by cutting. I was angry, not at my life, but at me, for a long time after that. I had to learn to gain back my own trust.

Please do not resort to this, and learn the lesson I did the hard way. This proves that you are stronger in spirit and common sense than I was. You did not resort to this, as I did.  I am sure, just as they would be astonished to learn that I did this, your friends will be even more shocked to see you do it. Don't cut yourself. I know, you're thinking that of course you wouldn't ever do that, but I'm sure that you have thought of it.

I have a way of sensing things.

I know that your friends won't comfort you. But, maybe time by yourself is exactually what you need. Again, I am very sorry for finally placing the burden on your shoulders, but as you know, it was high time that I did. I think slight isolation is what you need, at least for a little while. I'm sure that you would  agree, once you think about it.

Er… my deepest apologies, but… well, I did mention you at the feast. But, I told people not to bother you about it.

Albus Dumbledore

Harry sighed. Dumbledore was right. He really did want to be alone, not bothered, not questioned, for a while. He was also astonished to read that Dumbledore had also hated himself. He realized that he and Dumbledore were very much alike.

Harry put this letter in his trunk, and checked the room to make sure had had not missed packing anything. His eyes fell on the first letter from Dumbledore. But how could he have missed that? He had cleaned everything off of the table, and already checked the room once, while everyone else was asleep. Then, he realized that someone must have read it.

Fear consumed him. Who had read it? Did they read the whole thing? The letter was very personal… not to mention, Dumbledore talked about the prophecy in it.

Then, he became angry. Who ever it was, they read something very personal to him, as he was sure that they knew what it was they were reading. But who could have read it?

Then ir hit him: Ron's bed was right next to his. But Ron was his best friend. He wouldn't read something private of Harry's, would he?

Harry went searching for Ron . It didn't take long to find him in the Great Hall. Ron, obviously, was avoiding Harry's gaze.

" Ron, did you read my letter from Dumbledore?" Harry cut to the chase. Hermione looked astonished. Ron's face grew deep red.

" Harry, you know Ron wouldn't do that!!! Ron's your best friend!" Hermione said, outraged. " How could you accuse him of that?"

" Um…" Ron said very quietly, half his face under the table. " Actually, I…I did read it." Hermione's eyes grew wide and accusing.

" RON! Why would you do something like that? After I just stood up for you!"

Harry looked at his friend with a hurt look.

" I'm sorry, Harry. I was just really curious. I mean, it's not every day that someone gets a letter from the Headmaster. And… and I wanted to know what was going on. You're so out of it lately. I want to know why."

Harry's emerald green eyes tore into his soul. " How far did you read?" He asked, his face impassive.

" Not very far. Just up to about the fourth paragraph. Then, I fell asleep." Ron said, looking at the marvelous floor.

Harry considered him. Then, finally, he said, " I forgive you, Ron. I'm sorry for being so… depressed. You would have found the answers in the letter, had you read farther, but I'm not going to tell you why I'm so depressed. That's between me and Dumbledore until it is time to tell everyone." Harry said, and went to finish packing.

Ron brought his head up from under the table with a scared look. Hermione looked disapproving and disgusted with him.

" I can't believe you, Ron. Sometimes I wonder why he's still your friend." She said.

" I know." Ron said guiltily.

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Ron can be stupid sometimes. Oh, well. Harry forgave him only because he was in no mood to have a fight. Please review!