A/N You all knew it was coming. So, here it is: the inevitable
confrontation!!!!!! All you AJ lovers who were looking for FLUFF, here it
is, coming right up. And this isn't even the half of it! (I can't believe I
wrote this! Buri208 and milky way bar, DON'T KILL ME!!!).
Confrontation
"Alanna?" Jon knocked on his squire's door. "We really need to talk."
"Not now," came the muffled reply.
"Why not?" he demanded. The door swung open, revealing the short redheaded girl.
"Because-" Alanna stopped for a second. Jon took advantage of her hesitation to push her gently inside her room and shut the door.
"We really need to talk," he repeated. She slumped in a chair.
"I knew I couldn't run," she said glumly. "I knew this was coming."
"Funny," Jon said, light tone only partially covering his confusion and frustration with his squire. "What were you running from?" She looked up at him, eyes puzzled.
"I can't believe you don't remember," she murmured, as though to herself. "I just can't believe it."
"Can't believe I don't remember what?" Jon inquired angrily. "Dammit Alanna, what aren't you telling me!"
"Think Jon," Alanna said irritably. "I really don't want to have to spell it out for you. What happened last night?"
"I don't remember," he admitted.
"A walk in the gardens," Alanna said quietly, studying his face. "A chance meeting with someone in the gardens. 'We were meant to be together.'" Comprehension dawned.
"I thought-" he began. "I thought they were dreams."
"Real as anything," she sighed. "Completely fact, unless we happened to have the same dream that caused me to sleepwalk into your room." A faint hope sparked in Jonathon's eyes, and Alanna dropped her eyes so that they didn't meet his.
She didn't hear him walk towards her. His fingers suddenly brushed her jaw, lifting her face so her eyes met his. "I meant everything I said last night," he said softly. She jerked her chin out of his soft grip and stood.
"Why?" she said harshly. "Why should I trust you? You could have any of the ladies at court. Why do you want your scrawny squire who no one else knows is a girl? Your squire who you can't flirt with, who you can't brag to your friends about- What would you want with me?" She stared at him, waiting for his answer.
"Because-" he faltered, bracing himself. "Because, I think- I think I love you, Alanna." She stood there, stunned.
"Wow," she said finally. "That was certainly not what I had expected to hear. But- I'm glad you said it." She finally lifted her eyes to his, and almost looked away again when she saw they were bright with emotions she really didn't want to name. But Jon wasn't about to let her look away again. Softly, he cupped her chin in his hand and slid his thumb along her jaw.
"I'm not about to let you get away that easily," he said quietly. He slipped his other arm around her waist. Awkwardly, she put her hands on his chest, ready to push him away. Then, he lowered his face to hers and kissed her.
With all of the passion of the night before, this kiss was slow and lingering. His lips and tongue caressed hers and -after a moment of hesitation- she returned the favor, exploring every inch of his mouth. Heat rushed through her body and she felt light-headed and a bit dizzy. But it was the sweet dizziness of exhilaration and joy.
It was his hand slipping from her chin to the nape of her neck and then resting on her collarbone that jolted her back to the present. She pulled away from him, breathing heavily.
"This cannot happen," she said as soon as she'd gotten her breath back. "I'm a squire, and you're my knight-master. We can't, Jon."
"Nobody has to know," he said softly.
"Nobody can," she pointed out. Suddenly, as though that was too much, she burst into hysterical laughter, falling against Jon, laughing into his shoulder. When she finally looked up at him, he stayed the last of her laughs by pressing his lips to hers.
"We can," he murmured when she pulled away. "We absolutely can. Unless-" He hesitated. "You don't want to." He studied her face, anxiety growing in his eyes. What if-
"Gods." She tore her eyes away from him. "I'm scared, Jon. It's that simple. Love scares me."
"Why?" He was completely dumbfounded. "Love isn't scary. It's just- love," he finished lamely.
"I don't know." She pulled her eyes away and backed away from him. "Jon-"
"How can you fear it if you don't know what it is?" he asked softly. She stepped back.
"Alan!" It was Gary. "Alan! You promised you'd help me with that counter!" Alanna froze, staring at Jon. Then, she turned and left the room. Jonathon slumped on her bed. Now what?
Confrontation
"Alanna?" Jon knocked on his squire's door. "We really need to talk."
"Not now," came the muffled reply.
"Why not?" he demanded. The door swung open, revealing the short redheaded girl.
"Because-" Alanna stopped for a second. Jon took advantage of her hesitation to push her gently inside her room and shut the door.
"We really need to talk," he repeated. She slumped in a chair.
"I knew I couldn't run," she said glumly. "I knew this was coming."
"Funny," Jon said, light tone only partially covering his confusion and frustration with his squire. "What were you running from?" She looked up at him, eyes puzzled.
"I can't believe you don't remember," she murmured, as though to herself. "I just can't believe it."
"Can't believe I don't remember what?" Jon inquired angrily. "Dammit Alanna, what aren't you telling me!"
"Think Jon," Alanna said irritably. "I really don't want to have to spell it out for you. What happened last night?"
"I don't remember," he admitted.
"A walk in the gardens," Alanna said quietly, studying his face. "A chance meeting with someone in the gardens. 'We were meant to be together.'" Comprehension dawned.
"I thought-" he began. "I thought they were dreams."
"Real as anything," she sighed. "Completely fact, unless we happened to have the same dream that caused me to sleepwalk into your room." A faint hope sparked in Jonathon's eyes, and Alanna dropped her eyes so that they didn't meet his.
She didn't hear him walk towards her. His fingers suddenly brushed her jaw, lifting her face so her eyes met his. "I meant everything I said last night," he said softly. She jerked her chin out of his soft grip and stood.
"Why?" she said harshly. "Why should I trust you? You could have any of the ladies at court. Why do you want your scrawny squire who no one else knows is a girl? Your squire who you can't flirt with, who you can't brag to your friends about- What would you want with me?" She stared at him, waiting for his answer.
"Because-" he faltered, bracing himself. "Because, I think- I think I love you, Alanna." She stood there, stunned.
"Wow," she said finally. "That was certainly not what I had expected to hear. But- I'm glad you said it." She finally lifted her eyes to his, and almost looked away again when she saw they were bright with emotions she really didn't want to name. But Jon wasn't about to let her look away again. Softly, he cupped her chin in his hand and slid his thumb along her jaw.
"I'm not about to let you get away that easily," he said quietly. He slipped his other arm around her waist. Awkwardly, she put her hands on his chest, ready to push him away. Then, he lowered his face to hers and kissed her.
With all of the passion of the night before, this kiss was slow and lingering. His lips and tongue caressed hers and -after a moment of hesitation- she returned the favor, exploring every inch of his mouth. Heat rushed through her body and she felt light-headed and a bit dizzy. But it was the sweet dizziness of exhilaration and joy.
It was his hand slipping from her chin to the nape of her neck and then resting on her collarbone that jolted her back to the present. She pulled away from him, breathing heavily.
"This cannot happen," she said as soon as she'd gotten her breath back. "I'm a squire, and you're my knight-master. We can't, Jon."
"Nobody has to know," he said softly.
"Nobody can," she pointed out. Suddenly, as though that was too much, she burst into hysterical laughter, falling against Jon, laughing into his shoulder. When she finally looked up at him, he stayed the last of her laughs by pressing his lips to hers.
"We can," he murmured when she pulled away. "We absolutely can. Unless-" He hesitated. "You don't want to." He studied her face, anxiety growing in his eyes. What if-
"Gods." She tore her eyes away from him. "I'm scared, Jon. It's that simple. Love scares me."
"Why?" He was completely dumbfounded. "Love isn't scary. It's just- love," he finished lamely.
"I don't know." She pulled her eyes away and backed away from him. "Jon-"
"How can you fear it if you don't know what it is?" he asked softly. She stepped back.
"Alan!" It was Gary. "Alan! You promised you'd help me with that counter!" Alanna froze, staring at Jon. Then, she turned and left the room. Jonathon slumped on her bed. Now what?