The Night of the Confusion
Sakura was driving The Tank as fast as she could through the traffic. They had to rescue Kenshin and Inuyasha, and they were hitting every light red. Sakura finally decided to try a short cut and took a side road, when Yuzumi suddenly shouted, "Stop! We have to get to a phone!"
Afraid something else was wrong, Sakura hit the break. "What!? What's wrong?"
"I have to call my boss. With everything that's been going on I forgot I have to be at work in 15 minutes!" Yuzumi worried.
"Kuso, Yuzumi, we don't have time for this!"
"I know, but if I get fired my parents are gonna kick me out!"
"You've already been kicked out, Yuzumi." Sakura impatiently reminded her.
"Yes, but once I get Kenshin-san back into his world, I can move back in, but if I get fired I'm permanently kicked out!" Yuzumi wailed.
Sakura made an 'o' with her lips and speed to the nearest gas station. The two of them got out of The Tank and want to the pay phone. Yuzumi put in her thirty-five cents and make the call to her work. "Hello, this is Yuzumi; I won't be able to come tonight. I have a family emergency and…………" She hung up before finishing her sentence. Yuzumi turned to Sakura and had and expression of I'm-gonna-die-in-seven-days.
"What happened? Why do you look like the world just ended?" Sakura asked.
"They fired me. They said that I'd told them I'd be there when I'm supposed to and that since I have failed to show up twice in the three years I've worked there, they have grounds to fire me."
"You've been working there for three years, and they fired you for missing two days!?" Sakura disbelievingly asked. Yuzumi glumly nodded. "Move aside. I'm gonna call Mel." Sakura ordered pushing Yuzumi off to one side. "Hello, Mel? Sorry to call so late, but I was wondering……What!? Uh huh…yes… I don't believe it…wait; I have a friend who needs a job…yes, that's what I was calling about…right…certainly...three o'clock? We'll be there thanks….Good night to you too." Sakura hung up the phone. "Good news Yuzumi, Mel will hire you. We have to be there at three in the afternoon tomorrow so we can start your training."
"Really, Mel will hire me?" Yuzumi asked in disbelief.
"Hm. Our other part-timer just quit and we really need two people. Since you need a job…" Sakura left if hanging.
"Alright, thanks Sakura. You're the best, but what are we gonna do with Kenshin-san and Inuyasha?"
"I know what we can do with them, but I'll tell you tomorrow. First we have to get them back."
"Right, what time is it?" Yuzumi asked as they climbed back into The Tank.
Sakura looked at the clock on the dash board and answered, "Fifteen minutes after ten o'clock! We're gonna be late! Why did they have to hold the meeting so far away?" Sakura complained.
"That's easy; to make sure we didn't get there in time." Yuzumi answered with a proud smile.
"That was a rhetorical question, Yuzumi." Sakura mumbled as she turned on the ignition and speed off.
Half an hour later, the girls arrived at their destination. They parked The Tank a few feet away from the playground and got out. They were dressed in off black ninja style outfits that they had bought at a costume store a few years ago. They grabbed their 'utility' packs, and started toward the marked location.
"I hope we aren't too late." Yuzumi whispered. Sakura nodded and made a shushing motion. They cautiously approached the drainage pipe and saw what appeared to be a willow tree. The girls made for it, and since the branches and leaves reached the ground, hid under it.
From the tree they could clearly see into the pipe. There was a big fire in the center, and various fan girls dancing around it. Off to the side were Kenshin and Inuyasha. They had on their regular clothes, except their swords were missing, and they looked drugged. There was some kind of incense burning next to them, and Sakura and Yuzumi figured the incense was what was keeping the guys drugged. On the other side of the fire, Marina was regally standing and watching the fan girls. She was dressed in mismatched black boots, a skimpy outfit, and had on a black cape.
"Yuzumi, look at Martina. Have you seen that outfit before? I think I have, but I can't quite place it." Sakura mussed.
"Sakura, forget Martina. Look at what's hanging above the fire." Yuzumi said with a look between fear and disgust. Sakura looked where Yuzumi directed and gasped. Above the fire was a monstrous, two toned motif of and ugly, horned, and bearded mask-like face.
"Now I know I've seen that before. Yuzumi, pleeeaase tell me that's not what I think it is." Sakura pleaded.
"Martina signed her note as Miko Martina, we come here and she's dressed like a certain disliked anime character, and there's a familiar motif hanging above the fire. Do you really believe this ceremony isn't what you think it is?' Yuzumi quietly asked. Sakura looked like she was about to cry.
Before the girls could continue their conversation, Martina held up her hands and the group of rabid fan girls stopped moving and looked at her. "Fellow followers of The Monstrous Zoamel Gustav[1], I commend you on a job well done, but before we start the sacrificial ceremony, I must ask Sara to come forward." Martina resonated.
"Sacrificial ceremony!?" Yuzumi squeaked.
"This could be worse than we feared." Sakura whispered.
A girl steeped forward and stood next to Martina. "That's the girl from the Panda Express. The one I said smirked at us." Yuzumi proclaimed.
"Allow me to introduce Sara." Marina began. "She has done well in capturing our beloved bishonen. It was by her skill that the food they ate at lunch was drugged so that they would be open to our suggestions. She is also the one who set off the bomb in Mervin's." After this, Martina turned to Sara and held up a necklace. "You have done very well Sara, and The Monstrous Zoamel Gustav will reward you greatly for your services." She placed the necklace over Sara's head. "I give you this necklace as part of your reward. I will also grant you the honor of starting the sacrificial dance." Martina finished with a flourish. The fan girls cheered and Sara walked to the fire, and began an intricate dance around it. The other Zoamel Gustav worshipers followed suit.
"Let's go Sakura. They're distracted by that dance at the moment, so now's a good time." Yuzumi said as she began to leave the cover of the tree.
"No, wait." Sakura said pulling her back. "I have a better idea." Sakura whispered her plan to Yuzumi who nodded occasionally.
"Good idea. That incense will probably have burnt strong enough to affect the fan girls." Yuzumi remarked.
"Make sure to keep your bandana handy. We may want to use it as a gas mask." Sakura cautioned.
The girls set to work stringing duct tape from tree to tree to create a sort of spider web in front of the entrance. They poured lighter fluid across the ground so that they could light it to make a sort of fire maze. Next they put fire crackers into pill bottles and left a bit of the fuse hanging out of the lid. Then, they made ready with the smoke balls.
"Okay, let's sneak in there and grab Inuyasha-sama and Kenshin." Sakura rallied. She and Yuzumi put the bandannas over the lower half of their face, and walked in. The girls made sure to stay up against the wall and slowly made their way to the guys. The fan girls were to into their dancing to notice Sakura and Yuzumi.
Sakura and Yuzumi soon reached Inuyasha and Kenshin. They tried to shake them and motioned for them to follow, but they were too out of it. "Kuso! Sakura what are we gonna do? They're too heavy for us to carry or drag out of here." Yuzumi began to panic.
"Wait, didn't Martina say something about drugging them so that they would be open to suggestions?" Sakura queried Yuzumi.
"Yeah, you're right. I do remember her saying something about that." Yuzumi turned to Kenshin. "Kenshin-san, why don't you come with us?"
Kenshin seemed to think about this suggestion for awhile, "Okay."
Following Yuzumi's lead, Sakura turned to Inuyasha, "Inuyasha-sama, why don't we leave and go back to Rei's house?"
Inuyasha nodded and he and Kenshin stood up. The girls began to quietly lead the guys outside. They were just passing the fire when, Martina and Sara noticed them. Luckily for Yuzumi and Sakura, Martina and Sara were so out of it that it took them a few minutes to realize what was happening. By the time their foggy heads figured things out, the quartet was close to the entrance. "Stop them!" Martina hysterically ordered her cultists. The fan girls immediately dropped what they were doing and began to run to the entrance.
"Yuzumi, smoke bombs!" Sakura shouted as she lit one of hers. Yuzumi nodded and lit hers as well. The two threw the bombs at the rushing girls which caused them to stop and look at the smoke bombs in confusion. Yuzumi used the time to pullout her bottle of vinegar. She opened it and poured it out along the cement floor of the entrance to the drainage pipe. Sakura, seeing the usefulness of pouring the oily liquid on the floor behind them, did the same with her bottle.
The smoke was filling the pipe as the quartet ran out of it. The two girls lit another pair of smoke bombs and threw then behind them so the fan girls would be running blindly into their traps. Then they lit the fire maze and ran past the duct tape spider webs. Sakura stopped a few feet away from it, and pulled out her pill bottle grenade.
"Sakura, what the hell are you doing?" Yuzumi stopped and shouted at her. Inuyasha and Kenshin had found something funny and began to laugh. What it was that made the guys laugh was beyond Sakura and Yuzumi.
"I want to have a few words with Martina." Sakura responded. Before Yuzumi could say anything, Martina and Sara as well as a few of their followers who had been lucky enough to escape their traps, burst through the smoke. Sakura and Yuzumi could hear the screams and various curses that the rest of the coltish fan girls were yelling. To keep Martina and her following at bay, Sakura and Yuzumi lit, and threw their pill bottle grenades at them. The grenades went off and sprayed pieces of the pill bottles like shrapnel. Several of the girls broke off screaming in pain.
"Kisama Yokamo[2]!" Martina and Sara shouted at the two mikos. "You have ruined our plans! The Monstrous Zoamel Gustav will send his wrath upon you!"
"Whatever." Sakura began in a quiet voice. "I doubt you'll be able to understand this, but Inuyasha-sama and Kenshin are not your property."
"They are mine! I will sacrifice them to The Monstrous Zoamel Gustav, and when I die, Kenshin and Inuyasha will be waiting for me in Zoamel Gustav's ultimate paradise!" Martina raved.
"Kenshin-san is not intended for you!" Yuzumi heatedly began. "He belongs to Karou and no one else. It is my life's goal to make sure no one stands in their way!" She valiantly declared.
"Ha, ha, ha. And you" Martina mocked pointing to Sakura, "You think Inuyasha is intended for Kagome right? Well I've got news for you. Inuyasha might have something to say about that. He belongs to the great Kikyo-sama. She had him before that retched Kagome. I might be willing to let Kikyo have him, but he's in this world now, and he's mine!"
Sakura twitched. What Martina had said pissed her off. Sakura didn't get pissed all that often, but when she did, there was hell to pay. Sakura pissed was about the equivalent of Kenshin going hittokiri. She took a step forward and looked at Martina. "Inuyasha-sama is not a thing, he can't be given to anyone, and he can't belong to anyone. He is a person and has the right to chose who he commits himself to. Kikyo is dead and Kagome is alive so it makes sense for him to choose Kagome. Besides, she is the reincarnation of Kikyo. Either way, neither he nor Kenshin belong in this world. Here they are fictional characters and so can not get attached to anyone here." Sakura smirked and pulled a flare out of her pocket. "Just to show you exactly how I feel about your stupid plans for Inuyasha-sama and Kenshin, I'll give you a gift." She said in a deadly voice, lit the flare, and threw it right at Martina. She then turned and ran toward The Tank.
Yuzumi, after a stunned moment, turned and followed her. Kenshin and Inuyasha had stopped laughing, shrugged and jogged after the girls. As they ran Yuzumi thought about what Sakura had done. She had never seen Sakura mad. Sure Sakura wasn't in the best of moods when you woke her up, but this was different. There was a completely different air about her.
They reached The Tank and got in. Sara was dragging a blinded Martina after them. They saw the quartet get into The Tank and they got into one of their cars. The Tank speed off with Martina and Sara hot on their trail.
Sakura drove around and tried to loose them, but Sara was good. She thwarted them whenever she could, and stayed hot on their tail. Sakura finally pulled off onto a side street, and Sara followed right after them. Sakura opened a compartment on the dash board and pulled out a hand gun.
"Sakura! What the…what are you doing!?" Yuzumi frantically asked.
"Relax, I'm just going to shoot out their tires." She said in her deadly calm voice.
"What if you miss!?'
"Then I miss, or would you rather me loose them in the air? We haven't tested the flight mode of this thing, but I'm sure Genius inc. would appreciate it if we did. Now seems like a good time." Sakura proposed.
"I have a better idea. Jut put away the gun." Yuzumi said to try and placate Sakura. Curios to see what Yuzumi had in mind, Sakura complied. Once Sakura had put away the gun, Yuzumi pulled out the rubber pancake. She leaned out the window and threw it. The pancake hit the windshield of their pursuer's car, and caused them to swerve into a parked car. Yuzumi caught the pancake as it bounced back. "See and no one died."
"I wasn't going to kill anyone." Sakura indifferently replied as she speed to Rei's. Kenshin and Inuyasha looked at each other and decided not to comment on Sakura's mood.
[1] Zoamel Gustav is a 'demon' that was made up by the Princess Martina. Martina worships Zoamel Gustav even though he's her idea and doesn't really exist. This is referenced from Slayers Next.
[2] Aprox. You fucking bitch
Author's note: This chapter didn't turn out as funny as I'd planned, but I hope you like it.