Disclaimer: I don't own anything. So what else is new?
A/N: In this chapter, April may seem a little ditzy. She's supposed to be. Anyway on with the story!!! R&R!!!!!!
Chapter 3
It was beautiful. It was like a great fairy tale palace, except much more welcoming. The houses were all built of rose or gold colored stone and whitewashed wood. Waterfalls and rivers ran through the village. Smoke was coming out of a few chimneys, but there were very few people that were outside in this village. It was eerily quiet, but peaceful. I looked around but couldn't find Strider or the midget men anywhere.
I heard a voice rise above the dead silence. I followed the voice. I couldn't comprehend the words at first but as got closer I started to discern some of what was being said.
".stands upon the brink of destruction." The voice was getting louder. " None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate, this one doom." Suddenly the voice became very clear, and I stumbled over two bodies. As I got up I found that it was Merry and Pippin, the midget men.
"Shh," whispered Merry.
"What is this," I asked.
"The council of Elrond," Pippin told me.
"Shh," whispered Merry again.
"Why aren't you there?" I asked, but they didn't answer me. I remembered Lord Elrond. He was the head of their gang. I assumed these guys weren't the head hanchos, or they would be in the council.
"Bring forth the ring Frodo," I heard the voice speak again. Another midget man came forward, and deposited a golden ring on a pedestal-like rock at the center of semi-circle of other freaks. I studied the rest of the members of this freak-show. The shaggy black one called Strider was there. Another man was there that I particularly noticed. He was light brown- haired and stocky. Instinctively I didn't trust him. There were quite a few shorter, beady eyed, very stocky men, slightly taller than the midget men. They had a major surplus of facial hair that made me turn away slightly disgusted. They looked somewhat like the dwarves in Snow White with a very bad hair day. There were a few other men besides Strider and the suspicious man, which didn't surprise me. Gangs needed Norms to walk the streets in the daylight. The ones that caught my eyes were these pale-blond-haired dudes. They were stunningly gorgeous. It was almost as if they were angels emanating light. They had pointed ears. They're Elves, I thought suddenly, but not in the traditional midget Santa Claus' North Pole elves, but tall and fair, very fair and very beautiful. Their leader Lord Elrond was also an Elf but he was not as beautiful. He looked older. The young Elves looked to be about nineteen through twenty-five, Elrond was definitely in his forties or fifties. He had creases in his forehead and rather foreboding eyes. He had high arched rather freakish eyebrows, definitely not normal like the other Elves at the council.
As soon as he let go of the Ring, the midget man that I assumed was called Frodo looked as it he had relieved himself of a great burden. I thought he must have been very weak, because although gold was a heavy metal, it certainly wasn't so heavy that someone couldn't carry on their finger.
As soon as they saw the ring, the entire Council began muttering. The suspicious, stocky man looked at it with great greed. He got up and spoke of a dream he had or something but I couldn't quite get what he was saying. The thing that grabbed my attention was what happened next. The man extended his hand towards the ring, as if meaning to pick it up, but an aged man stood up with his walking stick raised and began speaking in a foreign language. As soon as the words were spoken a sort of dark power seemed come over the council. The Elves seemed to go into some sort of pain, shutting their eyes and taking deep breaths, as if they were hyperventilating. Everyone else just seemed a little shook up at the shadow that had fallen over the council.
As soon as the old man with the walking stick stopped speaking, the darkness seemed to fade. The sunlight returned to the council area, and the Elves breathed a sigh of relief. But the council members had gone deadly quiet.
"Never have those words been uttered here," said Elrond rather menacingly to the old man. The old man muttered something under his breath that I could not hear and returned to his seat.
(A/N: I know that's not exactly how it goes but I don't have the script for that part since it is only part of the extended edition DVD. P.S. you should definitely watch it if you can.)
Then the suspicious man stood up again. "It is a gift," he said. "A gift to the foes of Mordor. Why not use this Ring. Long has my father, Steward of Gondor kept the forces of Mordor at bay by the blood of our people are your lands kept safe. Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!"
"You cannot wield it," said Strider. "None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master."
And by now I was feeling a bit confused. Who or what was Mordor? Who or what was Gondor? And who or what was Sauron and why did he have a ring that acted like a dog? For that matter, why was I thinking that a piece of metal could actually act like a dog? So what's new, my brain told me, you're going a little nuts. Things like that do happen when you fall into bizarro world. It also really annoyed me that Merry and Pippin looked like they understood everything that was going on, and they wouldn't even answer my questions.
The stocky man, whose father was the Steward of Gondor, looked at Strider contemptuously. "And what would a Ranger know of this matter?" he asked.
That's when one the good-looking Elves stood up. "This is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance."
The son of the Steward of Gondor looked back at Strider / Aragorn (I was more inclined to call him Aragorn because it sounded more like his real name, but in bizarro world, one never knew) as if willing himself not to throw up. "Aragorn," he said with disbelief. "This is Isildur's heir."
Hey, left in the dark again here, I thought. Who was Isildur and why did it matter that Aragorn was his heir?
"And heir to the throne of Gondor," the Elf told him. Ah now we were getting somewhere. I figured that Gondor was some kingdom and that, since it so far only had a steward, Isildur must have once reigned upon it and that now Aragorn could reclaim the throne. Of course, this did not get me any closer to seeing the point in this meeting.
"Havo dad, Legolas," said Aragorn. I wasn't very sure what havo dad legolas meant, but I think it meant something like shut up and sit down you retarded elf, because he did so.
"Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king," said the tall, stocky man whose father was the Steward of Gondor contemptuously.
"Aragorn is right. We cannot use it," said the old man who had brought the dark cloud down upon the council.
"You have only one choice," declared Lord Elrond. "The Ring must be destroyed."
"Then what are we waiting for," cried one of the dwarves-with-a-bad-hair- day. He leaped to his feet and grabbed his weapon, which happened to be an axe, and brought it crashing down on the ring.
Well in normal world, this probably would have suffice for the destruction of a solid gold ring, since gold is a very malleable metal, and the axe seemed to be made out steal with was much stronger. Of course in bizarro world things don't work like that. The dwarf-with-a-bad-hair-day was thrown backwards, his axe shattered and the Ring stayed undamaged in the middle of the stone pedestal with axe shards lying around it.
"The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli son of Gloin, by any craft that we here possess," said Elrond reprovingly, looking at the dwarf-with-a-bad- hair-day whom I assumed was Gimli (son of Gloin). "The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade." Hey dude, I don't think 'unmade' is actually a word, I thought towards Elrond. "It must be taken deep into Mordor, and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came."
This seemed to shake everyone. But since I didn't exactly get what was going on, it didn't really matter to me. What mattered at that point was that I thought I heard the Ring talking. Yes, talking. I began to think that I'd gone completely insane. It was nuts. Rings DID NOT TALK. But again my reasoning came down to: in bizarro world, anything goes.
"One of you must do this," said Elrond. Do what? I thought at first, then I remembered his little speech before he was rudely interrupted be the Ring. Hey well why don't you do it? I thought at him. Why was it one of this council and not him since he seemed so great?
"One does not simply walk into Mordor," said the suspicious stocky man whose father was the Steward of Gondor. "Its black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air that you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly."
Well that answered one question: what was Mordor? From what the suspicious man whose father was the Steward of Gondor had said it seemed to be either some kind of desert with a wall built around it or one hell of a fortress. Of course with one question answered, two more spring up to take its place: who or what were orcs? And what was the great Eye?
"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said?" asked the good-looking Elf, directing his question at the suspicious man whose father was the Steward of Gondor. "The Ring must be destroyed." It was one of those duh statements, where, had he been a Valley Girl, the Elf would have added 'Like Hellooo' to the end of the sentence.
"And I suppose you think you're the one to do it," Gimli said angrily at the good-looking Elf.
"And if we fail, what then?" asked the suspicious man whose father was the Steward of Gondor. "What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?"
And then Gimli, wanting to get back to his ever so important subject of the good-looking Elf not taking the Ring, said, "I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an Elf."
Well this did not please the rest of the elf crew at all jumped up to defend themselves. Just as quickly, the rest of Gimli's crew did the same and they began arguing. The Elves looked as if they wanted to start a fight with the dwarves-with-a-bad-hair-day, but their leader, the good-looking Elf (although they were all relatively good-looking) restrained them. Then the men and the old man stood up not wanting to miss out of the argument. I could discern very little of their continued jabber. There seemed to be a lot of "Never trust an Elf," coming form the dwarves-with-a-bad-hair-day, and I think I heard the old man saying something like "You'll all be destroyed." That was closer to reality.
Only Elrond and Frodo remained seated. Frodo looked pained, like he had a really bad migraine. He was staring right at the Ring. Was it just me this time or was the Ring talking again? I'm pretty sure it was and Frodo can vouch for that.
I think the Ring must have said something to Frodo, because he got up and said, "I will take it." Of course no one heard him, because they were all engaged in a contest to see who could project their voice the farthest. "I will take it," Frodo said again a little more loudly. This time the old man heard, but no one else. He turned from his argument with the suspicious man whose father was the Steward of Gondor. He looked pained for Frodo as if this was the worst thing imaginable to happen. Eventually it registered on everyone and they turned to look at Frodo. "I will take the Ring to Mordor," he said quietly. "Though - though I do not know the way."
The old man bent a little to be closer to eye level with Frodo. "And I will help you bear this burden Frodo Baggins. As long as it is yours to bear." He put his hand on Frodo's shoulder as a sign of allegiance.
Aragorn got up. "If by my life or death I can protect, I will." He knelt before Frodo. "You have my sword." He went and stood beside the old man.
"And you have my bow," declared the good-looking elf joining the group.
"And my axe," roared Gimli, adding himself to the freak-clique.
"You carry the fate of us all little one," said the suspicious man whose father was the Steward of Gondor. "If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done."
"Here," shouted a familiar voice from the bushes. Sam came running of towards the Council. "Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me."
"No, indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you from him, even when he is summoned to a secret Council and you are not," said Elrond, with the first hint of a smile that I'd seen on him. It was not becoming.
"Oi, we're coming too," shouted Merry as he and Pippin ran from their hiding places to sign up for the freak-clique. Elrond looked quite alarmed at their coming. Obviously he hadn't expected to have so many people spying on his 'secret council'. "You'll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us."
"Anyway," said Pippin, nodding knowingly. "You need people of intelligence of this sort of mission. Quest. Thing." I had to suppress my laughter.
Merry voiced my thoughts. "Well that rules you out Pip." I'm sure everyone heard that though they weren't meant to. Again I had to suppress laughter, and the urge to go give Merry a high five.
"Wait," called another all too familiar voice from a small group of Elf girls who had remained silent and immobile throughout the whole council. A young girl stepped away from the group to Address Lord Elrond. Lara! "With your permission I would go as well."
Elrond looked at her and quite firmly said, "No."
"What?" she cried. "I would be a wonderful asset. I'm a mage and I have Elven features. I can fight with any weapon, and you must agree that an elf mage is a valuable person in times of need, and I have different powers from Mithrandir, and since this fellowship seems to be based on diversity I think I should be able to go, and."
Elrond put up a hand to stop her onslaught of reasons. "Fine Laranya. You may go. Though I would have rathered you stay with your own people."
"These are my people," Lara muttered.
Well that answered one of my big questions (although it created a whole lot more): how the hell did I get here? Oh yes, my best friend, the Elf mage, brought me here. Oh yes, that made ever so much sense, but I accepted it for lack of a better reason other than I'd died (which I was sure was untrue because I had a big red spot of my arm from pinching myself over and over too make sure it was real).
I decided it was time to make my entrance. I walked right up to Lara and stood about two inches away from her face. "Hello, Lara," I said in a Hannibal like voice.
She looked at me, and quite calmly said, "Hi April. How's it going?"
I had seriously not expected this. "HOW'S IT GOING?" I exploded. "HOW'S IT GOING? OH IT'S GOING GREAT. FIRST I GET A TERRIBLE MIGRAINE AND FALL INTO BIZARRO WORLD. THEN THE LEADER OF A FREAK GANG SHOWS UP AND THREATENS TO KILL ME," I shook my head in Aragorn's direction, "AND THEN BRINGS ME TO HIS BAND OF FRAKO MIDGET MEN WITH SUPER HAIRY FEET," I nodded towards Sam, Merry, Pippin and Frodo, "THEN I COME TO CINDERELLA'S DREAM VILLAGE" I waved my hand around me to indicate our surroundings, "TO FIND A HEAD ELF! WITH FREAKISH EYEBROWS IN COUNCIL WITH MEN, AN OLD MAN, WRONGLY GOOD LOOKING ELVES!, ANOTHER MIDGET MAN AND DWARF! MEN WHO LOOK LIKE GRUMPY WITH A HANGOVER AND PEROXIDE. AND THEY'RE ALL GOING ON A JOURNEY TO AN IMPENATABLE LAND TO WALK INTO SOME KIND OF VOLCANO!!! TO DESTROY A TALKING RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There was a long silence. I was aware that everyone was staring at me, and I felt rather uncomfortable. I looked towards the sky, averting my gaze from anyone who had decided that I too belonged to this freak show. No one seemed to feel like voicing an opinion on the comments I had made. They were probably all too stunned. Either that or they just hadn't comprehended any of my screeching.
I felt a tap on my arm. Pippin looked up at me. "Excuse me," he said. "We're not midget men. We're hobbits."
I stared down at him, stunned. Then I started laughing. Of course this just messed with their heads even more, but I couldn't care less. I just laughed and laughed. I laughed so hard tears started rolling down my cheeks. Pippin must have been the only one who had gotten any of my speech.
"Lord Elrond," I heard Lara saying through my laughter. "I suggest she join the Fellowship."
That shut me up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope you liked that!!!!! I know it's kinda lame how Lara joins the Fellowship but she has to get there somehow. And I know she seems like a bit of a Mary Sue but she supposed to be, that's why it's told from April's point of view. Review!!!!!!
A/N: In this chapter, April may seem a little ditzy. She's supposed to be. Anyway on with the story!!! R&R!!!!!!
Chapter 3
It was beautiful. It was like a great fairy tale palace, except much more welcoming. The houses were all built of rose or gold colored stone and whitewashed wood. Waterfalls and rivers ran through the village. Smoke was coming out of a few chimneys, but there were very few people that were outside in this village. It was eerily quiet, but peaceful. I looked around but couldn't find Strider or the midget men anywhere.
I heard a voice rise above the dead silence. I followed the voice. I couldn't comprehend the words at first but as got closer I started to discern some of what was being said.
".stands upon the brink of destruction." The voice was getting louder. " None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate, this one doom." Suddenly the voice became very clear, and I stumbled over two bodies. As I got up I found that it was Merry and Pippin, the midget men.
"Shh," whispered Merry.
"What is this," I asked.
"The council of Elrond," Pippin told me.
"Shh," whispered Merry again.
"Why aren't you there?" I asked, but they didn't answer me. I remembered Lord Elrond. He was the head of their gang. I assumed these guys weren't the head hanchos, or they would be in the council.
"Bring forth the ring Frodo," I heard the voice speak again. Another midget man came forward, and deposited a golden ring on a pedestal-like rock at the center of semi-circle of other freaks. I studied the rest of the members of this freak-show. The shaggy black one called Strider was there. Another man was there that I particularly noticed. He was light brown- haired and stocky. Instinctively I didn't trust him. There were quite a few shorter, beady eyed, very stocky men, slightly taller than the midget men. They had a major surplus of facial hair that made me turn away slightly disgusted. They looked somewhat like the dwarves in Snow White with a very bad hair day. There were a few other men besides Strider and the suspicious man, which didn't surprise me. Gangs needed Norms to walk the streets in the daylight. The ones that caught my eyes were these pale-blond-haired dudes. They were stunningly gorgeous. It was almost as if they were angels emanating light. They had pointed ears. They're Elves, I thought suddenly, but not in the traditional midget Santa Claus' North Pole elves, but tall and fair, very fair and very beautiful. Their leader Lord Elrond was also an Elf but he was not as beautiful. He looked older. The young Elves looked to be about nineteen through twenty-five, Elrond was definitely in his forties or fifties. He had creases in his forehead and rather foreboding eyes. He had high arched rather freakish eyebrows, definitely not normal like the other Elves at the council.
As soon as he let go of the Ring, the midget man that I assumed was called Frodo looked as it he had relieved himself of a great burden. I thought he must have been very weak, because although gold was a heavy metal, it certainly wasn't so heavy that someone couldn't carry on their finger.
As soon as they saw the ring, the entire Council began muttering. The suspicious, stocky man looked at it with great greed. He got up and spoke of a dream he had or something but I couldn't quite get what he was saying. The thing that grabbed my attention was what happened next. The man extended his hand towards the ring, as if meaning to pick it up, but an aged man stood up with his walking stick raised and began speaking in a foreign language. As soon as the words were spoken a sort of dark power seemed come over the council. The Elves seemed to go into some sort of pain, shutting their eyes and taking deep breaths, as if they were hyperventilating. Everyone else just seemed a little shook up at the shadow that had fallen over the council.
As soon as the old man with the walking stick stopped speaking, the darkness seemed to fade. The sunlight returned to the council area, and the Elves breathed a sigh of relief. But the council members had gone deadly quiet.
"Never have those words been uttered here," said Elrond rather menacingly to the old man. The old man muttered something under his breath that I could not hear and returned to his seat.
(A/N: I know that's not exactly how it goes but I don't have the script for that part since it is only part of the extended edition DVD. P.S. you should definitely watch it if you can.)
Then the suspicious man stood up again. "It is a gift," he said. "A gift to the foes of Mordor. Why not use this Ring. Long has my father, Steward of Gondor kept the forces of Mordor at bay by the blood of our people are your lands kept safe. Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!"
"You cannot wield it," said Strider. "None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master."
And by now I was feeling a bit confused. Who or what was Mordor? Who or what was Gondor? And who or what was Sauron and why did he have a ring that acted like a dog? For that matter, why was I thinking that a piece of metal could actually act like a dog? So what's new, my brain told me, you're going a little nuts. Things like that do happen when you fall into bizarro world. It also really annoyed me that Merry and Pippin looked like they understood everything that was going on, and they wouldn't even answer my questions.
The stocky man, whose father was the Steward of Gondor, looked at Strider contemptuously. "And what would a Ranger know of this matter?" he asked.
That's when one the good-looking Elves stood up. "This is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance."
The son of the Steward of Gondor looked back at Strider / Aragorn (I was more inclined to call him Aragorn because it sounded more like his real name, but in bizarro world, one never knew) as if willing himself not to throw up. "Aragorn," he said with disbelief. "This is Isildur's heir."
Hey, left in the dark again here, I thought. Who was Isildur and why did it matter that Aragorn was his heir?
"And heir to the throne of Gondor," the Elf told him. Ah now we were getting somewhere. I figured that Gondor was some kingdom and that, since it so far only had a steward, Isildur must have once reigned upon it and that now Aragorn could reclaim the throne. Of course, this did not get me any closer to seeing the point in this meeting.
"Havo dad, Legolas," said Aragorn. I wasn't very sure what havo dad legolas meant, but I think it meant something like shut up and sit down you retarded elf, because he did so.
"Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king," said the tall, stocky man whose father was the Steward of Gondor contemptuously.
"Aragorn is right. We cannot use it," said the old man who had brought the dark cloud down upon the council.
"You have only one choice," declared Lord Elrond. "The Ring must be destroyed."
"Then what are we waiting for," cried one of the dwarves-with-a-bad-hair- day. He leaped to his feet and grabbed his weapon, which happened to be an axe, and brought it crashing down on the ring.
Well in normal world, this probably would have suffice for the destruction of a solid gold ring, since gold is a very malleable metal, and the axe seemed to be made out steal with was much stronger. Of course in bizarro world things don't work like that. The dwarf-with-a-bad-hair-day was thrown backwards, his axe shattered and the Ring stayed undamaged in the middle of the stone pedestal with axe shards lying around it.
"The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli son of Gloin, by any craft that we here possess," said Elrond reprovingly, looking at the dwarf-with-a-bad- hair-day whom I assumed was Gimli (son of Gloin). "The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade." Hey dude, I don't think 'unmade' is actually a word, I thought towards Elrond. "It must be taken deep into Mordor, and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came."
This seemed to shake everyone. But since I didn't exactly get what was going on, it didn't really matter to me. What mattered at that point was that I thought I heard the Ring talking. Yes, talking. I began to think that I'd gone completely insane. It was nuts. Rings DID NOT TALK. But again my reasoning came down to: in bizarro world, anything goes.
"One of you must do this," said Elrond. Do what? I thought at first, then I remembered his little speech before he was rudely interrupted be the Ring. Hey well why don't you do it? I thought at him. Why was it one of this council and not him since he seemed so great?
"One does not simply walk into Mordor," said the suspicious stocky man whose father was the Steward of Gondor. "Its black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air that you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly."
Well that answered one question: what was Mordor? From what the suspicious man whose father was the Steward of Gondor had said it seemed to be either some kind of desert with a wall built around it or one hell of a fortress. Of course with one question answered, two more spring up to take its place: who or what were orcs? And what was the great Eye?
"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said?" asked the good-looking Elf, directing his question at the suspicious man whose father was the Steward of Gondor. "The Ring must be destroyed." It was one of those duh statements, where, had he been a Valley Girl, the Elf would have added 'Like Hellooo' to the end of the sentence.
"And I suppose you think you're the one to do it," Gimli said angrily at the good-looking Elf.
"And if we fail, what then?" asked the suspicious man whose father was the Steward of Gondor. "What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?"
And then Gimli, wanting to get back to his ever so important subject of the good-looking Elf not taking the Ring, said, "I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an Elf."
Well this did not please the rest of the elf crew at all jumped up to defend themselves. Just as quickly, the rest of Gimli's crew did the same and they began arguing. The Elves looked as if they wanted to start a fight with the dwarves-with-a-bad-hair-day, but their leader, the good-looking Elf (although they were all relatively good-looking) restrained them. Then the men and the old man stood up not wanting to miss out of the argument. I could discern very little of their continued jabber. There seemed to be a lot of "Never trust an Elf," coming form the dwarves-with-a-bad-hair-day, and I think I heard the old man saying something like "You'll all be destroyed." That was closer to reality.
Only Elrond and Frodo remained seated. Frodo looked pained, like he had a really bad migraine. He was staring right at the Ring. Was it just me this time or was the Ring talking again? I'm pretty sure it was and Frodo can vouch for that.
I think the Ring must have said something to Frodo, because he got up and said, "I will take it." Of course no one heard him, because they were all engaged in a contest to see who could project their voice the farthest. "I will take it," Frodo said again a little more loudly. This time the old man heard, but no one else. He turned from his argument with the suspicious man whose father was the Steward of Gondor. He looked pained for Frodo as if this was the worst thing imaginable to happen. Eventually it registered on everyone and they turned to look at Frodo. "I will take the Ring to Mordor," he said quietly. "Though - though I do not know the way."
The old man bent a little to be closer to eye level with Frodo. "And I will help you bear this burden Frodo Baggins. As long as it is yours to bear." He put his hand on Frodo's shoulder as a sign of allegiance.
Aragorn got up. "If by my life or death I can protect, I will." He knelt before Frodo. "You have my sword." He went and stood beside the old man.
"And you have my bow," declared the good-looking elf joining the group.
"And my axe," roared Gimli, adding himself to the freak-clique.
"You carry the fate of us all little one," said the suspicious man whose father was the Steward of Gondor. "If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done."
"Here," shouted a familiar voice from the bushes. Sam came running of towards the Council. "Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me."
"No, indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you from him, even when he is summoned to a secret Council and you are not," said Elrond, with the first hint of a smile that I'd seen on him. It was not becoming.
"Oi, we're coming too," shouted Merry as he and Pippin ran from their hiding places to sign up for the freak-clique. Elrond looked quite alarmed at their coming. Obviously he hadn't expected to have so many people spying on his 'secret council'. "You'll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us."
"Anyway," said Pippin, nodding knowingly. "You need people of intelligence of this sort of mission. Quest. Thing." I had to suppress my laughter.
Merry voiced my thoughts. "Well that rules you out Pip." I'm sure everyone heard that though they weren't meant to. Again I had to suppress laughter, and the urge to go give Merry a high five.
"Wait," called another all too familiar voice from a small group of Elf girls who had remained silent and immobile throughout the whole council. A young girl stepped away from the group to Address Lord Elrond. Lara! "With your permission I would go as well."
Elrond looked at her and quite firmly said, "No."
"What?" she cried. "I would be a wonderful asset. I'm a mage and I have Elven features. I can fight with any weapon, and you must agree that an elf mage is a valuable person in times of need, and I have different powers from Mithrandir, and since this fellowship seems to be based on diversity I think I should be able to go, and."
Elrond put up a hand to stop her onslaught of reasons. "Fine Laranya. You may go. Though I would have rathered you stay with your own people."
"These are my people," Lara muttered.
Well that answered one of my big questions (although it created a whole lot more): how the hell did I get here? Oh yes, my best friend, the Elf mage, brought me here. Oh yes, that made ever so much sense, but I accepted it for lack of a better reason other than I'd died (which I was sure was untrue because I had a big red spot of my arm from pinching myself over and over too make sure it was real).
I decided it was time to make my entrance. I walked right up to Lara and stood about two inches away from her face. "Hello, Lara," I said in a Hannibal like voice.
She looked at me, and quite calmly said, "Hi April. How's it going?"
I had seriously not expected this. "HOW'S IT GOING?" I exploded. "HOW'S IT GOING? OH IT'S GOING GREAT. FIRST I GET A TERRIBLE MIGRAINE AND FALL INTO BIZARRO WORLD. THEN THE LEADER OF A FREAK GANG SHOWS UP AND THREATENS TO KILL ME," I shook my head in Aragorn's direction, "AND THEN BRINGS ME TO HIS BAND OF FRAKO MIDGET MEN WITH SUPER HAIRY FEET," I nodded towards Sam, Merry, Pippin and Frodo, "THEN I COME TO CINDERELLA'S DREAM VILLAGE" I waved my hand around me to indicate our surroundings, "TO FIND A HEAD ELF! WITH FREAKISH EYEBROWS IN COUNCIL WITH MEN, AN OLD MAN, WRONGLY GOOD LOOKING ELVES!, ANOTHER MIDGET MAN AND DWARF! MEN WHO LOOK LIKE GRUMPY WITH A HANGOVER AND PEROXIDE. AND THEY'RE ALL GOING ON A JOURNEY TO AN IMPENATABLE LAND TO WALK INTO SOME KIND OF VOLCANO!!! TO DESTROY A TALKING RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There was a long silence. I was aware that everyone was staring at me, and I felt rather uncomfortable. I looked towards the sky, averting my gaze from anyone who had decided that I too belonged to this freak show. No one seemed to feel like voicing an opinion on the comments I had made. They were probably all too stunned. Either that or they just hadn't comprehended any of my screeching.
I felt a tap on my arm. Pippin looked up at me. "Excuse me," he said. "We're not midget men. We're hobbits."
I stared down at him, stunned. Then I started laughing. Of course this just messed with their heads even more, but I couldn't care less. I just laughed and laughed. I laughed so hard tears started rolling down my cheeks. Pippin must have been the only one who had gotten any of my speech.
"Lord Elrond," I heard Lara saying through my laughter. "I suggest she join the Fellowship."
That shut me up.
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Hope you liked that!!!!! I know it's kinda lame how Lara joins the Fellowship but she has to get there somehow. And I know she seems like a bit of a Mary Sue but she supposed to be, that's why it's told from April's point of view. Review!!!!!!