AN: Extra, extra long chapter now (16 pages in Microsoft Word instead of the usual 12) to make up for all the last one and its lateness, I hope you enjoy it. And as for the ending… I caution you for slightly citrusy scenes later in this chapter, but nothing too hard core. If you get deeply offended by these things I trust you have the sense to not read offending things after getting a warning (duh). But because of this the end of the chapter is rated R but NOT nc-17.

(And to any family members reading this, ie. My mother, father, sister, feeble-hearted grandparents, etc.… lemon and lime warnings simply mean the characters of this story partake in an age old tradition of… mixing drinks and making lemonade. That's all. Very boring actually. Now please for the love of god don't read on!)

Life Exchange

Chapter 17

Insane and in Love

It had all come down to this. The dreams, the visions and the future glimpse she'd seen. She'd prayed it wouldn't happen. That he wouldn't act out her fears and go insane. She'd prayed that he wouldn't take over the Northern territory, prayed that he wouldn't abandon Tessaiga for Toukijin… prayed that he wouldn't kill her…

Strange how she'd all seen it coming, but was still shocked at what was happening now.

But she wasn't scared.

"Well?" she raised her eyes to meet his. "Aren't you going to do it?"

"In a minute." He suddenly pulled the dagger away and bounced it casually against his other hand. He looked thoughtful as he moved away from her… "There's something not quite right about this…"

Other than the fact he was about execute her? Kagome eyed him warily, watched the dim light of candles reflect on the metal braces around his forearms. He'd changed his clothes since she'd last seen him in all his glory or ripped, bloodstained and grubby cotton underclothes. Now he looked like the King his father had been… his grandfather had been… his great grandfather…

It was all black and red with various pieces of armour now… what had happened to the days when he'd just walk around in his underwear…? Ok, that had probably been whilst he was only Prince and didn't have people watching him twenty four hours a day.

"No quite right…" he repeated, his left hand resting on Tessaiga's hilt whilst his right carried on gripping the dagger.

"What's not right?" Kagome ventured quietly, watching his eyes turn to the ground like he was once more looking through the boards. He didn't seem to hear her, and Kagome discreetly started backing away towards the side door to the room, she glanced over her shoulder to check she didn't bang into anything.

"What does this mean?"

Kagome snapped back around to face him and stared, her heart pounding unreasonably fast in her chest. "What?"

"This." He pointed to a tapestry that hung over a mantle. "Mom kept saying it had some kind of symbolic meaning, but I never understood it."

Kagome tried to regain control of her breathing. "This isn't really the time to discuss the philosophies of art…" she whispered, a hand pressed over her heart.

Her turned to look at her in annoyance. "Where do you think you're creeping off to?"

"Um…" she struggled for an excuse. She was too slow and he stomped towards her, grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back as the dagger once more pressed against her neck. "Inuyasha – please!"

"Shh," he whispered into her ear. "It's only for show."

"What?" she squeaked.

"For him." Inuyasha turned his eyes to the door the second they were thrown open and Bankotsu entered with several soldiers and other staff. His expression had been stormy, but when he saw the sight that awaited him in the throne room, it moved to surprise instead.

Now this hadn't happened in Kagome's premonition.

Bankotsu recovered quickly, faster than anyone else. "Put her down, Hanyou."

"But I'm not even holding her up." Inuyasha responded calmly whilst Kagome swallowed audibly and tried to lean away from the knife.

"You can't take her, she's mine, even you should respect that." Bankotsu narrowed his eyes.

"You fucking liar." Inuyasha hissed. "She was mine until you stole her! I'm only taking back what's rightfully mine! Her life is mine! Her body is mine!"

"I'm not an object!" Kagome cried out, but bit fell silent and bit her lip when Inuyasha tightened his grip on her warningly.

"Don't you dare hurt her." Bankotsu took a step forward, meaning his words every bit. He needed Kagome to uncover the curse on the Shichinin-tai, if she was unable to do so then he was screwed.

"You'll never know." Inuyasha smirked lightly, and suddenly the knife dropped from his grip, his arm wrapped around Kagome's waist and he took a running charge for the window.

Bankotsu started after them. "Stop him!" he ordered the guards.

But before they'd even started to pursue, Inuyasha had thrown himself and Kagome straight through the glass, shattering it around them as they plummeted towards the dark ground. Kagome flinched and waited for the deadly impact that would squish them both…

It never came.

Just a light thump and Inuyasha had landed on the ground. He released her only to grab her by the wrist and drag her towards the wall that surrounded the palace. Behind them Kagome heard the sharp orders issued from Bankotsu for the soldiers to go after them. But they were too far behind.

One punch and the wall crumbled and opened up before them. Kagome was yanked forward by Inuyasha and had no choice but to stagger after him as they began running.

"Where are we going?!" she yelled to him.

He didn't answer, and she couldn't see his face. She knew one thing for sure, and it relieved her slightly, that her premonition hadn't come to pass now. Maybe the future had changed now?

They were already well into the forest by the time their followers left the palace, on horseback no less. Kagome was already getting out of breath and developing a severe stitch in her side. "Inuyasha…!" she called, needing to stop and catch her breath.

"I need to get away…" his vague reply came. "It's still too strong…"

"I… I can't run anymore!" she pleaded.

With a harsh jolt she found herself on the floor, Inuyasha stopped a short distance away and looked back the way they had come. "Hurry and catch your breath then." He seemed annoyed by something. Kagome watched him as she tried to collect herself and massaged her stitch. She saw him slowly close his eyes and turn away from her with a faint frown, a hand rising to her forehead.

"Are you… are you ok?" she panted, seeing his obvious pain.

He turned, as though noticing her for the first time. His hand dropped to his side and she noticed the slow narrowing of his eyes. "I was sick with worry for you. My heart broke when I saw you covered in blood and with your lifeless eyes just staring."

Kagome rose a hand to her raw throat as she stared at him. What was he talking about? He was creeping her out.

"I threw my life on the line for you!" he was quickly changing from smirking lunacy into angry violence. "I turned my back on you for a month and when I turn back, I find you fucking Bankotsu!"

"Inuyasha – that isn't true!" She tried to defend herself. "Me and Bankotsu have never done anything…"

She trailed off as he stormed towards her, a thrill of fear shot through her when she realised he wasn't about to embrace her tenderly and declare his love. She tried shuffling back, but she was still too winded and cramped for the hard run, his hands fisted in the front of her yukata and dragged her to her feet.

"Don't lie to me bitch! You wreak of each other!" he snarled in her face.

Kagome was still a bit short of breath and dizzy for this sort of treatment. "We share a bed – we have to – we're married – but never together!"

She nearly got the shock of her life when his mouth crashed against hers and his tongue swept into her mouth, more of a search rather than a kiss. She was too dazed and dizzy to repel him. It didn't last nearly as long as she hoped their next kiss would, and he was still glared heatedly at her by the end of it. "I can taste him in your mouth…"

"That's…" she struggled to regain the tattered pieces of her sanity as well. "He kissed me… when he told me he loved me…"

She was thrown to the ground so hard she was winded completely, and her lungs were just too startled to drag in air.

"He won't have you. I won't let him." Inuyasha said calmly as he straddled her waist and flattened her onto her back. His hands fastened around her throat as he continued to watch her with calm anger. "And if he can't have you and I can't have you now that you're spoiled. No one can have you."

She couldn't breathe now even though her lungs laboured for air at last. His fingers squeezed harder and she felt the needle like prick of his claws that pierced the skin at the back of her neck. She couldn't gain to air to plead with him, to cry or scream in anger. Her hands weakly tried to push his own hands away from her, but they didn't move. He kept on squeezing the life out of her little by little, with such anger and seriousness that it scared her beyond anything she'd witnessed before. Her dreams were nothing compared to the real thing.

Spots danced before her eyes and she could no longer hold them open. She felt like all the blood had rushed to her head and that her brain would explode any moment now. A dull roar in her ears cut out the sounds of the forest around them. Inuyasha spoke to her again, but the words were too muffled to comprehend. He carried on choking her, killing her the slowest way possible. He could slice off her head, drive a fist into her heart and kill her in an instant, but that would have been to easy for him wouldn't it.

Death loomed on the horizon, she could feel it rushing towards her at a steady pace. She only had a matter of seconds left before everything else would start to shut down and she'd fall asleep forever.

Without any conscious effort her hands stopped patting at his pathetically and her lead like arms moved out to the side to spread out. Her fingers found a strength she didn't know she was capable of just then at the brink of death, and buried them into the soft earth of the forest floor. A tingling sensation flowed from her chest through her arms… it was the only sensation she was capable of feeling. She couldn't even feel his hands against her throat anymore, but she felt their presence, along with his large body hovering over hers.

Then the next moment it was gone. Life seemed to burst within her as her senses came flooding back with new vitality she'd swear she'd never take for granted again. Air rushed back into her lungs as she gasped and coughed with all her might as she forced her eyes open to find out why he'd given up strangling her.

Maybe it was because he was unconscious.

Kagome pushed herself to her feet, tentatively rubbing her abused throat and watched Inuyasha warily. He definitely looked unconscious… but he wasn't just faking it now was he? She inched forward carefully and flicked one of his ears… she got no response.

Ever so gently she pushed him onto his back and leaned over him to see what his problem was. If the large graze on his temple was any indication, he'd been hit by a hard heavy object. But when Kagome looked around, she found no one within sight or range.

Had she done this to him…

She sucked in a breath when she felt him stir beneath her and backed away quickly.

"Cowardly trees… I'll take all of you on…" he mumbled, eyes still closed.

Kagome ran. She had no choice. Either stay and risk getting strangled or worse, raped, or run for the hills and stand half a chance of survival. She couldn't go back to the palace… she didn't trust Bankotsu any more than she trusted crazy Inuyasha. And liked him a whole lot less. She had no idea where she was going in that case, but she knew she had to get out of there.

That stitch came back after a few minutes, but she kept running. Even when her legs felt numb she kept going. Even when they felt like jelly she kept on going, and when the pain in her side was sending spasms to her chest, she went on running. She just told herself to take it one step at a time. Just a few more steps at least. And when she'd done that, she told herself to run just a few more. She ran past the sun rising over the horizon and surprised herself by her tenacity to keep going.

"Bitch!"

She gasped, in what could have sounded like a strangled scream. She looked behind her but she couldn't see him. But with his body he'd catch up in no time… he'd follow her scent trail and find her no matter where she ran. She'd been a fool to believe otherwise.

"I wasn't finished with you!"

She staggered on, half toppled down a small slope and fell against a young maple tree. She caught her breath for a few seconds before forcing her weary bones to keep moving. She was practically dead on her feet, but that didn't seem important. She just had to keep going.

"You can't hide!"

She'd heard rumours once that there was an area in the Southern forest that overlapped into the Northern border, a place where a plant called dog-fern grew. Dog-fern was notorious for emitting a neutralising odour that humans couldn't detect, and only dogs or Inu Youkai could smell faintly. In a vast area of the stuff, a fermented fish could hide well enough for days without being found. The dog fern hid some of the most ghastly smells.

That's why if you murdered someone and you didn't want anyone to find out or at least sniff it out, you hid the body in the dog fern so no one would notice the smell of rotting corpse.

A place like that would have been perfect round about now. But she had no idea where exactly it was, and had even less of an idea as to where she was either. She could hide there front Inuyasha, under the ferns and keep very quiet… he'd never smell her out…

But he already had her in view, and looking back over her shoulder she knew she was done for. But stubbornness forced her on and even though she could see the old ravine up ahead, a cliff edge that would block her run at last, she kept going. Perhaps she'd throw herself off, and hope that she survived. Would Inuyasha follow her down?

Hang on – two ravines? She was sure there'd only been one before…

She glanced over her shoulder and was amazed at what she saw. Inuyasha had stopped and was leaning against one of the trees, holding his head in obvious agony.

This seemed to give her hope at least, and she sped up as she stumbled through the trees that were beginning to space out as she reached the end of the forest. Soon she was into the searing heat of the sun, with no trees overhead to shade her from the intense light. She ignored it as she tottered towards the edge of the ravine and looked down. The height was dizzying. At the bottom she could make out the lake that swept along the bottom it, stretching from the West coast.

A long time ago there had been a great earthquake on the island, and the land had just cracked into two, halfway across the island. There were some places where the two sides connected still, but the majority of the island was split by this long canyon. The sea had just swarmed into the gouge and now all sorts of plant life grew along the bottom of the ravine, and some rare stuff that attracted swarms of butterflies in summer.

It had been nicknamed the Butterfly Canyon, but was rarely used since the butterflies only came in summer.

Looking down Kagome could see them. Little clouds of flashing wings that reminded her of something she'd seen in a dream. She gazed down as the hazy heat seemed to consume her. Her legs finally gave out and she crumpled to the hard dusty ground, her legs thrumming painfully from their exertion and her hands propped herself up where they braced against the parched earth beside her.

She heard his footsteps behind her and closed her eyes in despair. "I… I can't run anymore…"

The footsteps stopped directly behind her and she felt his shadow fall over her, giving her some relief from the intense light. "Do what you want with me…" she whispered. "But if you want to kill me, make it quick please… if you want to do anything else… just knock me out before you do it… or I'll throw myself into the ravine."

Wordlessly she heard him kneel down beside her, and she waited for the cruel remarks, the physical bullying he enjoyed inflicting on her. Two warm arms closed around her from behind and she felt his head press against her shoulder as he pulled her back for an embrace. She fit perfectly against him, she was vaguely aware of that when she felt his arms tighten around her. She didn't open her eyes, she didn't throw him off… she didn't say anything at all in fact. She didn't know why he was holding her so gently.

"You're alive…" he whispered against her shoulder. "I was worried I might have just imagined it all…"

Kagome's eyes slowly opened to gaze out across the canyon. Why all of a sudden was Inuyasha speaking with that tone… that tone that held no hint of malice, amusement or madness… he sounded normal. "Inu… Inuyasha…?" her voice broke slightly, too hoarse from her throat being choked like that earlier.

"I was so scared… I thought I'd lost you… and now I've lost you to him…" he was rocking her ever so slightly.

"No you haven't…" she whispered back, her hand coming up to lightly clasp his arm. What was happening to him…?

"I was so lost."

Kagome found her will to pull out of his arms, surprised when he allowed her too. She turned to look him in the eyes. The bruise was prominent over his brow now… but she couldn't tear her gaze away from his. If he was insane, he wouldn't have been able to hide it. I was impossible to hide something that unstable. But his eyes were clear, open, and… and so heartbreakingly sad she felt her breathe catch in her throat.

"What's the matter with you?" she demanded, it sounded a little harsh, but she didn't understand. "First you try to attack me and now you are sorry for it-"

"We can talk about this later." He glanced over his shoulder. "They're following our trail – we have to move."

"I… I can't move." Kagome told him, still watching him warily as though he might just decide to bite her in a moment. She regarded the hand that he held out to her as though it were a snake.

"I don't bite anymore." He assured her.

"I never thought that." She lied, but still couldn't summon the strength in her legs to stand.

He sighed and crouched down before her. "Would you like to ride my back?"

"You sure you won't drop me?" she asked hesitantly.

"I promise."

She accepted the offer.

^_^

"Are you insane yet?

"No."

"Are you insane yet?"

"No."

"Are you insane yet?"

"No."

"Are you really sane or are you insane and just saying 'no' so I'll stay on your back and you can carry me to the cliffs and throw me into the see and laugh about it later?" Kagome laid limply against his back, her head against his shoulder and her eyes closed and unable to open. She was pretty sure she was as good as welded to him in this heat.

"No." Was Inuyasha's flat reply to her inquiry.

"Are you insane yet?"

"You sound like Fushi."

"You sound like your mother."

"Shut up."

Kagome sighed lightly as she listened to the monogamous sound of Inuyasha wading through the water of the river. It had risen up to his thighs by now, and Kagome still managed to persuade him that her legs were too beaten to go wading with him. The heat was almost unbearable though, since on the river there were no trees hanging over head to offer them shade. "So all that time it was just a spell… why didn't you just go and destroy the talisman in the cellar then?"

"I didn't realise until recently… and I was too out of it to think about going and destroying it. There were only two things in my mind when I was like that. You… and killing Bankotsu."

Kagome flicked a fly away from her face. "Whoever said that you had a one track mind, huh?"

Inuyasha grunted. "When we came back from that fake battle challenge, I found you dead in the throne room, ya know? That's why I left."

"But I didn't die." Kagome was too hot and tired to prop herself up indignantly.

"I can see that." Inuyasha said dryly. "I'm guessing it was either me and my insanity or some kind of illusion set up by one of the Shichinin-tai. Either way, I left to find Sesshomaru to retrieve Tenseiga to revive you… but when I found him, the sword had already been destroyed by the Shichinin-tai, and so I took Toukijin instead."

"The Shichinin-tai are just messing everything up…" Kagome sighed thoughtfully. "But… even if you were mad and you still went through all that to help me… I guess, you don't hate me as much as you say."

"I never said I hated you." Inuyasha snapped. "Not even when I was insane."

Kagome frowned at his harsh tone, but knew that it was borne out of concern for her, not anger.

"So anyway. After you found out that I'd died… did you wait ten minutes to marry Bankotsu or a whole two weeks out of respect for the dead?" his tone condescending.

Kagome sat up promptly and glared at the back of his head. "Don't talk to me like that – you have no idea what kind of grief I went through for you! I stopped eating! I wouldn't talk to anyone! Not for a fortnight!"

"Ah – so two weeks for respect it was then."

She cuffed his ear angrily. "I didn't marry for love if that's what you think!"

He staggered to a halt and promptly dropped her in the water, earning a squeak. "So you married just to become Queen?! Is that all you ever wanted?!"

Kagome surfaced the river and pushed her hair out of her face. "What?" she hadn't heard a word he'd said with all that water in her ears.

"I wouldn't give you what you wanted so you leapt at the chance to have Bankotsu give you the title of Queen, huh?" he gave her a withering look. "You scum-sucking bitch."

"A-are you insane again?!" Kagome yelled. "I was already Queen when I married Bankotsu! I gave up my reign to make him King – actually!"

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes.

Kagome looked at him, quite lost. "I thought that was what you would have wanted-"

"That was the last thing I-"

"Don't interrupt me you-"

"How could you think that marrying that asshole would make me-"

"If you'd just listen to-"

"Let me finish-"

"No – you let me finish! When you made Bankotsu your right hand man I thought that-"

"That what – quick, better seduce him in case Inuyasha pops his clogs so that I can marry the new-?"

Kagome rose angrily to her feet with a splash to face him. "That's not what I thought! I thought that of all the people in the Kingdom – you'd want him to be the next King! So the only way to make him the next King was for me to-"

"Fuck him?"

Kagome slapped him. It was made all the louder by the fact her hand was as wet as his cheek was. She yanked one of his forelocks of hair to bring his face down to her level so they could trade glares eye to eye. "Are you even listening to me, jerk?"

He didn't reply, but kept glaring.

"Listen then. When you died your mother appointed me the regent Queen. And I only managed to survive a week before I started going as cuckoo as you! Everyone including me thought that Bankotsu would make a much better ruler – and that you had him as your captain of the guard was evidence that you believed as much! But the only way to hand him the throne was to marry him… or kill myself…"

Inuyasha pushed her hand gently away from his hair.

"I didn't kill myself… should I have?" she asked defiantly. "I made no secret of the fact I didn't love Bankotsu. We were supposed to get divorced."

Inuyasha tutted and turned away to head back through the stream. "You should have killed yourself."

"Why bother when you were happy to do it for me?" she asked coldly.

She saw him pause, before he continued through the river, moving against the current.

Kagome watched him for a moment before looking back over her shoulder. Were they still being followed? They'd taken to the river so that their tracks would be invisible. Inuyasha believed that the area where the dog fern grew was somewhere further up the river, and when they arrived there, they were safe from harm for the time being.

Kagome started to follow Inuyasha again, but her legs crumbled pathetically under the pressure and she ducked straight back down into the water, sitting on her folded legs with the water up to her shoulders. She gave a small pitiful sigh and stared at her reflection.

Maybe Inuyasha was right… for marrying Bankotsu she was pretty much a scum-sucking bitch…

He was moving back towards her, obviously seeing her trouble, but she didn't look up to acknowledge him as he waded closer. "You're really are pathetic aren't you?" he said gently, crouching down in the water beside her. Kagome made a point to turn her head away from him. She would have carried on ignoring him if he hadn't stuck something under her nose.

Looking down, a small frown worked its way onto her brow. She was looking at a tiny blue flower on a long stem… with a small white centre. She glanced back to face Inuyasha. "What, is this some kind of peace offering?"

"Sort of." He replied evenly, sliding the wiry stem of the flower into her wet hair with one swift motion, too quick to be tender. "Angelfeather. You don't see it growing around this island a lot. It's rare. I found it over there amongst the dog-fern."

Kagome swayed slightly as the current of the river whipped around her. She pulled the flower from her hair and stared at it. For some insane reason she laughed lightly, but caustically. "Bankotsu couldn't tell this flower from a blade of grass." She said bitterly.

Inuyasha bristled at the mere mention of his name. Kagome looked up at him slowly and questioningly. "Why do you care so much? Why do you get jealous?" she said quietly, almost inaudible over the rushing water around them. "No, why do you act like you care, yet when I tell you how I feel, all you ever say is something like 'I know'."

The look he gave her was unreadable. She reckoned it was the same one she was giving him, searching for some sign…

"I keep getting the impression you just see me as a friend, and you do all these thoughtful and considerate things for me – like trying to fetch Tenseiga, carrying me through a river, giving me a dumb flower…" she scowled at him slightly. "But then you do things like get jealous and possessive of me… you've always done that… you won't let anyone else come near me if they're male, it's like only you are allowed to be with me. But then you confuse me by refusing me."

He looked away, but at least he made no move to walk off like he normally might have done. "I don't want to talk about this." He replied impatiently.

"Well I do." Kagome pressed. "We've said nothing about this for years. I've told you I love you… you know I do… you should know that this isn't some childish crush, or flippant little fancy… I love you. The least I deserve is some kind of recognition."

"I know you love me." He said tightly, glaring at the reflections on the water.

"I know you know." Kagome answered in the same tone. "And if you don't feel the same I wish you'd just be out front and just say it. If you hate me – just tell me – at least I'll know not to bother you anymore with my childish romances."

"I don't hate you." He sighed, obviously feeling as though he'd told her enough times.

"I know that…"

"Then what do you want me to say?" he shrugged helplessly. "I can't lie to you…"

"Then just tell me what you feel for me?" she asked intently, not sure she was ready for any blunt answers after all. But she was determined to find out the truth. "I need to know… I can take a knock if it isn't what I want to hear."

He didn't answer for a long time, and Kagome's heart was beating like she'd been running across the country all over again. Finally he met her gaze squarely. "I don't love you either… sorry…"

"Don't apologise." She said quickly, feeling as though all her blood had rushed to her head. "It's not your fault. I mean you can't force yourself to love me the same way I can't force myself to fall out of love with you, I guess we're both just helpless that way-"

He kissed her, cutting off her babbling gibberish effectively. She stilled, her entire body frozen in shock as she found herself staring at the pale lashes of his closed eyes. It was a chaste kiss, gentle and supple, not hurried or heated with passion… just savouring. Kagome still didn't move when he eventually pulled back slightly, one hand resting against the juncture of her jaw to her throat.

Kagome stared at him long and hard, nearly speechless. "What-?"

"I've wanted to do that… for a long time…" his eyes traced the line of her throat as she swallowed before meeting her gaze again. "Every time you walk into a room with me in it I can't take my eyes off you… every time you throw your arms around me it takes all my will power to let you go at the end of it. Whenever you lean over my shoulder when I'm working I have to hold my breathe because your scent drives me crazy… it's all I can do to keep from grabbing you sometimes and kissing you senseless. And when we're completely alone, and I know that no one will interrupt us for a while… I always have to leave you because I can't help but want to make stupid bunny love to you… I know you always take that as a bad sign, but I have to leave you or else… you know…"

Kagome felt her cheeks heat up, but couldn't tear her gaze away from his. "What are you saying…?"

"What does it look like I'm saying?" he retorted sharply, a light dusting of pink over his own cheeks. "I'm telling you the truth… isn't that what you wanted to hear?"

Kagome's mouth worked for a moment before she remembered she had a voice. "But… why didn't you tell me?"

"Because if it's not love it's just lust isn't it." He glowered down at the water between them. "And that's not fair to you. You love me, and the least you deserve in return is love or nothing at all."

"I don't need your love – I just want you!" that sounded slightly wanton so she quickly added, "- and your happiness! After all… what's love at the end of the day other than a couple of words that we just say…?"

"It wouldn't be fair to you." He repeated with a weary look. "I don't want to hurt your feelings…"

"You won't if you really care about hurting them." She clasped her hand tightly over his, bringing it over her heart. "Look, I love you so much that my heart still beats this fast even after three years… it's not going to go away any time soon."

He looked dubiously from their hands to her face again. "But-"

"I don't want to hear it." She cut him off. "I don't care if you think you'll hurt my feelings, I've taken too many knocks and beatings in this life to worry about that… I can take it if it just means that you'll let me love you… I've wanted to love you for so long."

His gaze fell back to their hands and he seemed hesitant to respond.

"Or are you still worried that I'll betray you again?" She asked tightly.

He sighed and pulled his hand away, averting his gaze for the hundredth time that morning.

Kagome echoed his sigh. "Can you ever forgive the stupid deluded bitch who wandered onto this island and betrayed you twice… three times if you include Bankotsu…?" she whispered tiredly.

He shook his head slowly. "No. I can't, I don't think I ever will."

The tiny pieces of her already over-shattered heart cracked again and whilst she tried to hold her chin up high and not look too miserable, she felt like her whole insides had caved in on themselves.

"But I can forgive Kagome. I already have, and I always will." He gave a small smile. "You're not a deluded bitch and it was never your fault. I shouldn't have punished you for it all."

She gave a wobbly smile. "You don't think I was selfish?" she asked balefully.

"How could selling your soul to save someone's life be a selfish act?" he shrugged. "Everything after that was just Naraku's fault… or Sesshomaru's."

Without another wasted moment she lurched forward through the water and fell against him, wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders and burying her nose into his neck. "Thank you." She grinned against his skin, and felt him close his arms around her slight form with a sigh.

Kagome pulled back to face him, and in response felt his arms loosen around her. She tightened her hands on his shoulders. "You don't have to let go anymore…" He could hold her forever if that was really what he wanted. "You don't have to hold back…"

She watched him as he watched her for what seemed like a minute eternity, before Kagome's mind practically shut down as he began kissing her, harder and more demanding than before. She yielded to him completely, letting him take as much as he wanted from her willingly like she'd done so many times in her life.

Unlike the last time with Bankotsu, she responded with equal enthusiasm, her hands twining together behind his neck and into his hair while his roamed her back gently, gripping the material at her waist in bunches, hidden beneath the surface of the water.

Kagome couldn't believe he wasn't pushing her away… she half believed that this was some wonderful dream and she'd wake up a few minutes later in bed, and either everything would be back to normal – no Bankotsu or bad dreams, or she'd wake to find Inuyasha still dead and herself still married to Bankotsu…

Everything was so surreal, the feelings rushing through her veins made her feel dizzy and like her limbs had gained a few pounds. Her heady senses made everything muggy, and the only thing that was clear and focused in her mind were the sensations of touching Inuyasha and being touched by him… the feel of his lips on hers and the bold, yet cautious touch of his tongue against her lips, seeking entrance. She gave it to him without qualm.

His hands had worked their way into the folds of her yukata beneath the water, she almost backed away shyly when she felt his bare touched against her stomach. Almost. But somehow nothing in the world could tear her away at that moment. Her tongue touched against one of his fangs while she felt the light scrape of his claws against the small of her back.

Unconsciously her hands reached up and tweaked his ears with a light giggle when they twitched away and he pulled back. "I ain't Sango's dog, Kagome." He scolded lightly, though he was smiling and just as breathless as she was.

"I just wanted to hear you purr." She pressed feather like kisses to his cheek and down his jaw.

"I'm sure you purr better than I do," he caught her lips again.

Their activities were moving far past familiar territory. The most Kagome had ever done was kiss, however, she knew that Inuyasha had done far more than kissing with other girls… but that had been well before they'd met so she could let him off for that.

The knuckles of his fingers grazed the underside of her breasts and she all but jumped back through the water, and perhaps would have done so if Inuyasha hadn't steadied her by her waist. "Are you sure you want this?" he murmured in question, his fingers tense against her skin.

Kagome already knew her answer to that question. "Are you?" she retorted.

He took one of her hands which rested on his shoulder and brought it down under the water to press against him. Kagome's eyes widened and she swallowed past a newly formed lump in her throat. Yes, he wanted her as much as she wanted him, she felt that much. But… "You seem a little on the small-"

"It's very cold water, Kagome." He snapped quickly.

"Oh, right." Butterflies with hobnailed boots were stomping around her insides, yet she still gave in to curiosity and gave him a tentative caress. She didn't bother hiding her smile of delight when she heard him inhale sharply before her… knowing she could affect him so simply…

But suddenly his fingers clenched around her wrist, preventing her from reaching him again. "You didn't answer my question…"

Kagome's smile faded slowly as she looked up at him. A big question in bold letters stood out in her mind. Could she do this? Could she keep on going along the track they were building and risk looking back in regret at terrible mistakes, or could she put a stop to it now and not look back in regret at missed opportunities.

Her gaze faltered to his chest and she drew back slightly, feeling his hand release her wrist. What would happen in a few months… years from now… he didn't love her – so what happened when he found a girl he could love. Would she kill herself with heartbreak if he left her for someone else?

But could she pass up the here and the now?

She met his eyes again and something in those molten depths gave her the courage she needed to go on and say, "Yes."

AN: No lemon scene as of yet, but nevermind. Next Chapter – 'The Catapult Theory' Hm… remember that one?