Summary: An unexpected visit brings unexpected and unwanted memories back to Hermione. Will she go back to the world that she swore to stay away from, or will she face her past and heal old wounds?
Disclaimer: Although I am obsessed with Harry Potter and Co., I do not own them. Although I wish I could have just one pay check from JK Rowling, I don't get any money from them. I promise to be nice and play gently with them, since they are not mine.
A/N: Thank you to my reviewers. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story. I hope it doesn't move to slowly for you. The first several chapters will be close introspection by Hermione and Severus (in chapter 4).
Where We Live
Chapter 4
The life of a war hero is not all it's cracked up to be. There has been no chance, no moment, to gather thoughts, to pay respects, to mourn for those who were lost. The days and nights haunted him in the same way, as there was no refuge from the past. When expectations of the world weigh upon shoulders too narrow. When it is felt that this war, this goddamned war, stripped all who survived of dignity, trust, and lives. Placed upon a pedastal, to be worshipped and adored by all, trapped in the moment of heroics that were merely a means of survival.
He was never a good man, never one to follow the rules of the greater good. He envied her and he hated her for it. She escaped. Probably the only one of the surviving who was able to. He imagined that she was no longer haunted by the ghosts of the past.
It was unfair to expect her to stay. For what. For adulation that grinds at the soul, for adoration that is unwarranted and most of all unwanted. The bright witch, the young witch, who in all honesty, is young only in age, never seemed to escape his thoughts. The last words he said to her as he sent her on her way, echo relentlessly in his mind; it's time you do what you think is right. The decision was hers alone to make, and any input he had in the situation was not his to share. The notion of envy ate at him because she had what he wanted, she can put the pieces of her life back together in solitude.
Thoughts of Hermione are never far. Of those nights when she cried tears he could never shed. Of holding her while the violent waves of rage and suffering crashed, leaving only the shell of the girl he had known for seven years. The strength she possessed to make her choice and the desire to not let her go weigh heavily on his mind. She saw that the brave hero was frightened, and she was the only one who saw past this facade.
A puzzle is what is left of this life. There are too many pieces, to many odd shapes to put it back together. Too many that can't be recognized and too many missing. What would people say, if they knew their fearsome potions master is scared to turn out the lights. What would they say if they knew their heroic warrior was afraid. What would they say if they knew that the one thing that helped him to survive is gone.
Loneliness engulfs this pathetic man. It's nothing new. An emotional connection to anyone, except for Albus, seemed impossible for the villiafied potions master. An unihabitable island. Rough and desolate. But thoughts of her plague his brain. For the moments of consolation and peace, knowing that she shared the feelings of anger, fear, and suffering, and that he was not alone. That he was not the only one who lost everything.
The words, it's time you do what you think is right, echo in his mind, because it was clear what he must do. The uncertainty of this mission fills his soul with distress. The fear of rejection compouds the feelings of loneliness.
Disclaimer: Although I am obsessed with Harry Potter and Co., I do not own them. Although I wish I could have just one pay check from JK Rowling, I don't get any money from them. I promise to be nice and play gently with them, since they are not mine.
A/N: Thank you to my reviewers. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story. I hope it doesn't move to slowly for you. The first several chapters will be close introspection by Hermione and Severus (in chapter 4).
Where We Live
Chapter 4
The life of a war hero is not all it's cracked up to be. There has been no chance, no moment, to gather thoughts, to pay respects, to mourn for those who were lost. The days and nights haunted him in the same way, as there was no refuge from the past. When expectations of the world weigh upon shoulders too narrow. When it is felt that this war, this goddamned war, stripped all who survived of dignity, trust, and lives. Placed upon a pedastal, to be worshipped and adored by all, trapped in the moment of heroics that were merely a means of survival.
He was never a good man, never one to follow the rules of the greater good. He envied her and he hated her for it. She escaped. Probably the only one of the surviving who was able to. He imagined that she was no longer haunted by the ghosts of the past.
It was unfair to expect her to stay. For what. For adulation that grinds at the soul, for adoration that is unwarranted and most of all unwanted. The bright witch, the young witch, who in all honesty, is young only in age, never seemed to escape his thoughts. The last words he said to her as he sent her on her way, echo relentlessly in his mind; it's time you do what you think is right. The decision was hers alone to make, and any input he had in the situation was not his to share. The notion of envy ate at him because she had what he wanted, she can put the pieces of her life back together in solitude.
Thoughts of Hermione are never far. Of those nights when she cried tears he could never shed. Of holding her while the violent waves of rage and suffering crashed, leaving only the shell of the girl he had known for seven years. The strength she possessed to make her choice and the desire to not let her go weigh heavily on his mind. She saw that the brave hero was frightened, and she was the only one who saw past this facade.
A puzzle is what is left of this life. There are too many pieces, to many odd shapes to put it back together. Too many that can't be recognized and too many missing. What would people say, if they knew their fearsome potions master is scared to turn out the lights. What would they say if they knew their heroic warrior was afraid. What would they say if they knew that the one thing that helped him to survive is gone.
Loneliness engulfs this pathetic man. It's nothing new. An emotional connection to anyone, except for Albus, seemed impossible for the villiafied potions master. An unihabitable island. Rough and desolate. But thoughts of her plague his brain. For the moments of consolation and peace, knowing that she shared the feelings of anger, fear, and suffering, and that he was not alone. That he was not the only one who lost everything.
The words, it's time you do what you think is right, echo in his mind, because it was clear what he must do. The uncertainty of this mission fills his soul with distress. The fear of rejection compouds the feelings of loneliness.