Disclaimer: I had this dream last night where Peter Jackson and Tolkien
were related and I was sole heir to all of their possessions including the
rights to Lord of the Rings and that I had managed to assassinate everyone
else in my family, and so owned the right. Then I woke up and realized it
all wasn't true. Damn it.
A/N: I just looked at the last updated date and realized I haven't done any updating in FIVE MONTHS. I didn't even do it over Christmas b/c 1) I didn't have access to my computer and 2) I had to read Crime and Punishment which is an evil book that is long and has no point. Anyway just so you know I HAVEN'T DIED. I've just been super busy with IB and pretending to stalk this guy and a lot of other things in school. I think I should go live a hermit like and do nothing but write fanfiction. Can't do that though. Stupid administration, etc that makes me go to school.
Oh yah I've ROTK twice. It rocked my socks. Such a cool movie. Yeah 11 Oscars for LOTR. Woot!!!! My friend who hates lotr was really pissed at this and many ppl in our school who are obsessed with lotr want to kill her. Its amusing.
I am now the proud owner of TTT special extended edition and Pirates. Woot some more!!!
Okay. Chapter. R & R!!!!!!!
Chapter 11
Going down Caradhras was much more fun than going up. I slid the whole way down, only stopping briefly every few hundred yard to prevent myself from falling off any of the cliffs. Aragorn told me that this was dangerous and that I would probably fall off and kill myself. Note he didn't tell me to stop.
There was only one problem with this otherwise easy mode of downward motion. The windshield factor. I was so cold by the time we reached the snow line, that I could hardly feel my legs and arms, let alone my fingers, feet and toes.
Gandalf told me to walk it off. He wasn't kidding.
We walked the whole day and near dusk we finally reached some river which was an indication of Moria. It actually was more like a trickle of water like those you get when you wash your car. This seemed to worry Gandalf, not that someone might be washing their car (I didn't mention this, not needing anymore looks), but that there was so little water.
The stairs to Moria were near the river. They were also long and endless. It took over an hour to get up them.
When we finally reached the top, it seem a sort of let down to what I had expected (the way Gimli raved about it you'd think this would have been 2000 times better than a Beatles resurrection concert; but it wasn't). There was huge lake that had dammed up and blocked the river. Apparently this was a bad thing. Apart from that we were in a huge flat valley, and across from us were dark, immense and foreboding cliffs that shot up endlessly into the night sky.
"The Walls of Moria," proclaimed Gimli in awe.
"Does anyone else just see cliffs?" I asked skeptically.
This seemed to amuse Legolas. Again it was hard to tell because of his facial expression, or lack thereof. Gimli looked rather hurt that I would make a crack at him, but it wasn't that I was particularly nice to anyone; I was just particularly insulting to a select few.
"Dwarf doors are invisible when closed," retorted Gimli with his little nose in the air, as we approached the cliffs. He began tapping on them with his axe.
"Yes Gimli," said Gandalf. "Their own masters cannot find them, if their secrets are forgotten."
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" drawled Legolas, rolling his eyes.
I snorted under my breath quite a few times with suppressed laughter. Legolas had made a joke, and not only any joke, a me joke. At this point I could no longer contain myself and laughed out loud. I laughed so hard, I cried, then was hyperventilating so hard I was wheezing, emitting sounds every few seconds that sounded like a cross between a howling cat and a sick cow. I just couldn't get over Legolas making a joke.
"Now let's see," said Gandalf running his hand over the rocks and pointedly ignoring me. "Ithildin."
I managed to control myself enough to gasp out one word, before returning to my uncontrolled fit of laughter that no one except Legolas and Lara seems to get. "What?"
"It mirrors only starlight and moonlight," replied Gandalf, obviously not wishing to repeat the word for my benefit. As if on cue the clouds cleared from the moon.
I looked at the door. "Holy shit!" I cried. There, where there had been nothing but rock a minute ago was beautiful picture of an arched gate. It was drawn in a beautiful silvery material that glowed softly. Two silver pillars held up a silver arch. Between these two columns was a silver star and few others around it. In the arch was written in flowing silver handwriting a phrase in a language that looked like Latin; at any rate I didn't understand it (maybe the person just had really bad handwriting, but it didn't look like that).
Now came the question. "How the....Never mind. I couldn't care less." This made Gimli more than a little ticked, but Legolas grinned at me. So I was antagonizing Gimli, as long as someone stayed on my side. Legolas was probably more useful too if it came to a fight because he had arrows and blades. He was also more attractive.
"It reads 'The Doors of Durin - Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter'" said Gandalf, directing this at me.
"What do you suppose that means?" asked Merry.
"Oh well it's quite simple. If you are a friend, you speak the password and the doors will open," replied Gandalf. He set his staff against the star and cried in a loud, commanding voice, "Annon Edhellen, edro hi ammen! (Gate of the Elves, open now for me!)."
Nothing happened. Yes, quite simple.
I giggled. Gandalf glared at me and tried again. "Fennas Nogothrim, lasto beth lammen. (Doorway of the Dwarf-folk, listen to the word of my tongue.)."
Again nothing happened.
"Nothing's happening," stated Pippin.
Gandalf glanced at him, slightly annoyed, but soon turned back to the doors. If it had been me, I'd have been in the lake by now.
Gandalf began pushing on the doors. It made him look very foolish, trying to move a cliff. It was trying to move a mountain; if love couldn't (it really can't it's just a metaphor), then he certainly couldn't. "I once knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves...Men...and Orcs."
"Well you obviously don't anymore," I muttered under my breath so that even Legolas couldn't hear. I didn't have much respect for Gandalf after he'd tried to kill me on Caradhras.
"What are you going to do, then?" asked Pippin innocently.
"Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does not shatter them, and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will try to find the opening words," said Gandalf angrily. For Pippin it was an empty threat; for me he would have probably followed through with it.
We sat around for a while waiting for Gandalf to recover suddenly from Alzheimer and remember the password. Sam and Aragorn said good-bye to Bill the pony. I didn't think it was such a good idea to just let a pony go into the wild, but Aragorn said he knew the way home. I highly doubted that (only because Aragorn said it). I felt sorry for Sam though. He really loved that pony.
Merry and Pippin were throwing rocks in the water. I joined in. I loved throwing things, especially at certain people.
Aragorn caught Pippin's arm as he was about to throw a stone in the water. "Do not disturb the water," warned Aragorn.
I rolled my eyes but didn't throw any more rocks in. For some reason I felt that this was not a great time to disobey Aragorn. The water did look a bit chilling, and you never knew what was in it.
After having attempted several more times to open the doors (including using many different passwords and pushing on it some more), Gandalf dropped his staff and sat down, frustrated.
"Oh it's useless," muttered Gandalf.
Frodo went over to him and looked up at the light gates thoughtfully. "It's a riddle," said Frodo slowly. Thank you for that useful piece of information, but I think most of us had figured that out fifteen minutes ago. "Speak 'friend' and enter." Again very useful piece of information. "What's the Elvish word for friend?"
"Mellon," replied Gandalf. At this point the doors creaked open, revealing a dark cave (ah useful Frodo). There really wasn't much else you could say about it. It was dark and scary and I didn't particularly want to go in.
I happened to be a sheep though and followed when everyone else went in. Add that to another of the countless stupid things I have done since coming to Bizarro World (aka Middle Earth to be politically correct). Gandalf lit his staff and a circle of light appeared around us to light the way (whichever particular direction 'the way' might be). The brightness was almost blinding at first and I saw little black spots, but soon it cleared. I still could hardly see anything around me though. I kept stepping on things and not knowing what they were, and not particularly wanting to know what they were.
"Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves! Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone," declared Gimli, obviously proud of this.
"How pleasant," I drawled sarcastically.
Gimli chose to ignore this. "This, my friend, is the home of my cousin, Balin," he contnued. Note to self: avoid Balin at all costs. "And they call it a mine! A mine!"
"This no mine. This is a tomb," said Boromir.
I looked down, as Gandalf shone his light on the floor. I suddenly realized that what I had been stepping on was bone, the flesh long gone. My eyes widened with fear, and my heart stopped for what seemed like an eternity. I'm surprised I lived. It was a gruesome sight. Skeletons lay strewn all over the cave, arrows protruding from almost all of them.
"Noooo! Noooo!" Gimli's strangled sob echoed through the cavernous dark.
"Shut up," I whispered at Gimli, not wanting anything unpleasantly to jump out of the darkness.
Legolas bent and plucked an arrow from one of the corpses. He examined it, then cast it away in disgust. "Goblins," he muttered. He raised his head peered into the darkness as if looking for those in question (I assumed he could actually see through the blackness).
I had to suppress the urge to bolt out of the cave and right down the stairs. How he knew was beyond me, but I didn't care how. It didn't matter; I believed him. Right about now I was ready to accept anything Legolas said. If he had plucked one of Aragorn's hairs and said that he was a goblin, I probably would have wasted no time killing (or attempting to kill) Aragorn.
"We make for the gap of Rohan," Boromir declared. "We should never have come here. Now get out. Get out."
I needed no further urging. I bolted for the door. No sooner had I reached the hobbits – who had had the same idea as me, but couldn't run as fast due to their stubby legs – than a long tentacle reached out of the water and grab Frodo by the ankle.
I screamed. Frodo yelled. The rest of the hobbits yelled. Everyone began yelling and splashing in the water. I was torn between attempting to slip by this creature or run into the mines. The latter seemed like a slightly safer choice as the things in the mines were DEAD AND UNLIKELY TO GET UP AND TRY TO KILL ME.
After much yelling, hacking and arrow shooting (and in my case cowering behind Gandalf who was holding has lighted staff aloft), we, and by we I mean the rest of the Fellowship, managed to free Frodo.
"Into the mines," yelled Gandalf. I needed no second urging. I dashed off blindly into the darkness, desperate to get away from the octopus with a gazillion tentacles. I heard the creature rise itself out of the water and come after us. It moved surprisingly nimbly for something with a gazillion tentacles to look after. It was however to big to actually fit in the mines, so instead of catching us, it simply caused a huge rock fall. I watched fearfully as the entrance to the mines collapsed and blocked our only way out.
"We now have but one choice," declared Gandalf as the noise subsided. "We must face the long dark road of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world."
I dreaded to think what could be worse than many orcs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Maybe I'll post another chapter by the end of this week. I dunno. I'll see what happens but it's kinda unlikely I'll get too much done on this before the summer cuz I have a really long essay to write (like 4000 words).
toodles
Mouse angel
A/N: I just looked at the last updated date and realized I haven't done any updating in FIVE MONTHS. I didn't even do it over Christmas b/c 1) I didn't have access to my computer and 2) I had to read Crime and Punishment which is an evil book that is long and has no point. Anyway just so you know I HAVEN'T DIED. I've just been super busy with IB and pretending to stalk this guy and a lot of other things in school. I think I should go live a hermit like and do nothing but write fanfiction. Can't do that though. Stupid administration, etc that makes me go to school.
Oh yah I've ROTK twice. It rocked my socks. Such a cool movie. Yeah 11 Oscars for LOTR. Woot!!!! My friend who hates lotr was really pissed at this and many ppl in our school who are obsessed with lotr want to kill her. Its amusing.
I am now the proud owner of TTT special extended edition and Pirates. Woot some more!!!
Okay. Chapter. R & R!!!!!!!
Chapter 11
Going down Caradhras was much more fun than going up. I slid the whole way down, only stopping briefly every few hundred yard to prevent myself from falling off any of the cliffs. Aragorn told me that this was dangerous and that I would probably fall off and kill myself. Note he didn't tell me to stop.
There was only one problem with this otherwise easy mode of downward motion. The windshield factor. I was so cold by the time we reached the snow line, that I could hardly feel my legs and arms, let alone my fingers, feet and toes.
Gandalf told me to walk it off. He wasn't kidding.
We walked the whole day and near dusk we finally reached some river which was an indication of Moria. It actually was more like a trickle of water like those you get when you wash your car. This seemed to worry Gandalf, not that someone might be washing their car (I didn't mention this, not needing anymore looks), but that there was so little water.
The stairs to Moria were near the river. They were also long and endless. It took over an hour to get up them.
When we finally reached the top, it seem a sort of let down to what I had expected (the way Gimli raved about it you'd think this would have been 2000 times better than a Beatles resurrection concert; but it wasn't). There was huge lake that had dammed up and blocked the river. Apparently this was a bad thing. Apart from that we were in a huge flat valley, and across from us were dark, immense and foreboding cliffs that shot up endlessly into the night sky.
"The Walls of Moria," proclaimed Gimli in awe.
"Does anyone else just see cliffs?" I asked skeptically.
This seemed to amuse Legolas. Again it was hard to tell because of his facial expression, or lack thereof. Gimli looked rather hurt that I would make a crack at him, but it wasn't that I was particularly nice to anyone; I was just particularly insulting to a select few.
"Dwarf doors are invisible when closed," retorted Gimli with his little nose in the air, as we approached the cliffs. He began tapping on them with his axe.
"Yes Gimli," said Gandalf. "Their own masters cannot find them, if their secrets are forgotten."
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" drawled Legolas, rolling his eyes.
I snorted under my breath quite a few times with suppressed laughter. Legolas had made a joke, and not only any joke, a me joke. At this point I could no longer contain myself and laughed out loud. I laughed so hard, I cried, then was hyperventilating so hard I was wheezing, emitting sounds every few seconds that sounded like a cross between a howling cat and a sick cow. I just couldn't get over Legolas making a joke.
"Now let's see," said Gandalf running his hand over the rocks and pointedly ignoring me. "Ithildin."
I managed to control myself enough to gasp out one word, before returning to my uncontrolled fit of laughter that no one except Legolas and Lara seems to get. "What?"
"It mirrors only starlight and moonlight," replied Gandalf, obviously not wishing to repeat the word for my benefit. As if on cue the clouds cleared from the moon.
I looked at the door. "Holy shit!" I cried. There, where there had been nothing but rock a minute ago was beautiful picture of an arched gate. It was drawn in a beautiful silvery material that glowed softly. Two silver pillars held up a silver arch. Between these two columns was a silver star and few others around it. In the arch was written in flowing silver handwriting a phrase in a language that looked like Latin; at any rate I didn't understand it (maybe the person just had really bad handwriting, but it didn't look like that).
Now came the question. "How the....Never mind. I couldn't care less." This made Gimli more than a little ticked, but Legolas grinned at me. So I was antagonizing Gimli, as long as someone stayed on my side. Legolas was probably more useful too if it came to a fight because he had arrows and blades. He was also more attractive.
"It reads 'The Doors of Durin - Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter'" said Gandalf, directing this at me.
"What do you suppose that means?" asked Merry.
"Oh well it's quite simple. If you are a friend, you speak the password and the doors will open," replied Gandalf. He set his staff against the star and cried in a loud, commanding voice, "Annon Edhellen, edro hi ammen! (Gate of the Elves, open now for me!)."
Nothing happened. Yes, quite simple.
I giggled. Gandalf glared at me and tried again. "Fennas Nogothrim, lasto beth lammen. (Doorway of the Dwarf-folk, listen to the word of my tongue.)."
Again nothing happened.
"Nothing's happening," stated Pippin.
Gandalf glanced at him, slightly annoyed, but soon turned back to the doors. If it had been me, I'd have been in the lake by now.
Gandalf began pushing on the doors. It made him look very foolish, trying to move a cliff. It was trying to move a mountain; if love couldn't (it really can't it's just a metaphor), then he certainly couldn't. "I once knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves...Men...and Orcs."
"Well you obviously don't anymore," I muttered under my breath so that even Legolas couldn't hear. I didn't have much respect for Gandalf after he'd tried to kill me on Caradhras.
"What are you going to do, then?" asked Pippin innocently.
"Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does not shatter them, and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will try to find the opening words," said Gandalf angrily. For Pippin it was an empty threat; for me he would have probably followed through with it.
We sat around for a while waiting for Gandalf to recover suddenly from Alzheimer and remember the password. Sam and Aragorn said good-bye to Bill the pony. I didn't think it was such a good idea to just let a pony go into the wild, but Aragorn said he knew the way home. I highly doubted that (only because Aragorn said it). I felt sorry for Sam though. He really loved that pony.
Merry and Pippin were throwing rocks in the water. I joined in. I loved throwing things, especially at certain people.
Aragorn caught Pippin's arm as he was about to throw a stone in the water. "Do not disturb the water," warned Aragorn.
I rolled my eyes but didn't throw any more rocks in. For some reason I felt that this was not a great time to disobey Aragorn. The water did look a bit chilling, and you never knew what was in it.
After having attempted several more times to open the doors (including using many different passwords and pushing on it some more), Gandalf dropped his staff and sat down, frustrated.
"Oh it's useless," muttered Gandalf.
Frodo went over to him and looked up at the light gates thoughtfully. "It's a riddle," said Frodo slowly. Thank you for that useful piece of information, but I think most of us had figured that out fifteen minutes ago. "Speak 'friend' and enter." Again very useful piece of information. "What's the Elvish word for friend?"
"Mellon," replied Gandalf. At this point the doors creaked open, revealing a dark cave (ah useful Frodo). There really wasn't much else you could say about it. It was dark and scary and I didn't particularly want to go in.
I happened to be a sheep though and followed when everyone else went in. Add that to another of the countless stupid things I have done since coming to Bizarro World (aka Middle Earth to be politically correct). Gandalf lit his staff and a circle of light appeared around us to light the way (whichever particular direction 'the way' might be). The brightness was almost blinding at first and I saw little black spots, but soon it cleared. I still could hardly see anything around me though. I kept stepping on things and not knowing what they were, and not particularly wanting to know what they were.
"Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves! Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone," declared Gimli, obviously proud of this.
"How pleasant," I drawled sarcastically.
Gimli chose to ignore this. "This, my friend, is the home of my cousin, Balin," he contnued. Note to self: avoid Balin at all costs. "And they call it a mine! A mine!"
"This no mine. This is a tomb," said Boromir.
I looked down, as Gandalf shone his light on the floor. I suddenly realized that what I had been stepping on was bone, the flesh long gone. My eyes widened with fear, and my heart stopped for what seemed like an eternity. I'm surprised I lived. It was a gruesome sight. Skeletons lay strewn all over the cave, arrows protruding from almost all of them.
"Noooo! Noooo!" Gimli's strangled sob echoed through the cavernous dark.
"Shut up," I whispered at Gimli, not wanting anything unpleasantly to jump out of the darkness.
Legolas bent and plucked an arrow from one of the corpses. He examined it, then cast it away in disgust. "Goblins," he muttered. He raised his head peered into the darkness as if looking for those in question (I assumed he could actually see through the blackness).
I had to suppress the urge to bolt out of the cave and right down the stairs. How he knew was beyond me, but I didn't care how. It didn't matter; I believed him. Right about now I was ready to accept anything Legolas said. If he had plucked one of Aragorn's hairs and said that he was a goblin, I probably would have wasted no time killing (or attempting to kill) Aragorn.
"We make for the gap of Rohan," Boromir declared. "We should never have come here. Now get out. Get out."
I needed no further urging. I bolted for the door. No sooner had I reached the hobbits – who had had the same idea as me, but couldn't run as fast due to their stubby legs – than a long tentacle reached out of the water and grab Frodo by the ankle.
I screamed. Frodo yelled. The rest of the hobbits yelled. Everyone began yelling and splashing in the water. I was torn between attempting to slip by this creature or run into the mines. The latter seemed like a slightly safer choice as the things in the mines were DEAD AND UNLIKELY TO GET UP AND TRY TO KILL ME.
After much yelling, hacking and arrow shooting (and in my case cowering behind Gandalf who was holding has lighted staff aloft), we, and by we I mean the rest of the Fellowship, managed to free Frodo.
"Into the mines," yelled Gandalf. I needed no second urging. I dashed off blindly into the darkness, desperate to get away from the octopus with a gazillion tentacles. I heard the creature rise itself out of the water and come after us. It moved surprisingly nimbly for something with a gazillion tentacles to look after. It was however to big to actually fit in the mines, so instead of catching us, it simply caused a huge rock fall. I watched fearfully as the entrance to the mines collapsed and blocked our only way out.
"We now have but one choice," declared Gandalf as the noise subsided. "We must face the long dark road of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world."
I dreaded to think what could be worse than many orcs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Maybe I'll post another chapter by the end of this week. I dunno. I'll see what happens but it's kinda unlikely I'll get too much done on this before the summer cuz I have a really long essay to write (like 4000 words).
toodles
Mouse angel