Chapter 2
The, uh, Fushigi-na Town
The passageway through the, uh, mon was long and dark. A faint opening was visible up ahead, but it wasn't an opening into the sunlight. Chihiro grumbled, "This looks--wow! cool echo--more like a tunnel than a gate to me. Are you sure this isn't a tunnel instead?"
"If it makes you happy," mom replied with sigh.
Chihiro started making clapping sounds and stomping her feet hard for the echo effect. "BWAHAHA," she belted from the depths of her lungs. She was quite pleased with the reverberating sound it made. "Mommy-ommy-ommy, how-how-how much-ch-ch longer-ger are-are we-we-we going to be? to be? to be?"
"Cut that out Chihiro," mom scolded. "This tunnel doesn't have that kind of echo."
Dad contributed to the conversation, "It's more like a karaoke machine set on the 'really bad singer' setting kind of echo." The three giggled. Mom seemed intrigued by dad's choice of simile. She asked, "What setting do you use?" Dad replied, "I just use straight amplification..." It was too late. Chihiro smiled. "Busssted..."
Momentarily, the three entered a large chamber. "This doesn't look like a tunnel," mom noted. "It doesn't look like a gate," dad exclaimed. "It doesn't look like a 'mon' either," Chihiro said under her breath. "It kinda looks like a station or a terminal of some sort. Sunlight filtered in the room from windows high aloft and from the open doorway, which was not aloft. A familiar sound faded in and out. "A train!" Chihiro felt there might be some civilization around her home in the "barren hinterlands" after all. Mom seemed relieved, too. "There might be a station nearby--with shops." She looked at dad with a glinty smile, "There might also be a karaoke bar or two."
Dad escaped out into the light and looked around. Mom and Chihiro followed shortly. "Yappari, uh, Just as I thought," he announced, "it's an old amusement park." He stopped, turned, looked straight at the audience and said, "Just in case you're another one of those brainless film critics, let me make it clear that I *said* it's an amusement park. That does not mean it *is* an amusement park. Got that?" He resumed his conversation with the family. "Let's go a little further, ok?" Mom was enjoying the nice weather and beautiful scenery, which was just as pretty as a Miyazaki cel background--with a slight red tint. "I should have brought sandwiches from the car."
Chihiro was not too keen on this idea. Her parents wandered ahead anyway. "What!!? are you still going on?" The wind howled in from behind her. "Hey!" She gave up and rejoined them. Just as they crossed over some stones hosting a trickle of water, dad caught the smell of something good to eat. "Smell that? Buttered popcorn!" Mom noticed, too. "You're right. smells great." Chihiro tried her best to keep up, but it was a task climbing over the the stones. The aroma of buttered popcorn led them to the edge of a town. Following the scent, they wandered deeper into town. Mom was noticing the businesses lining the streets. "There sure are a lot of theaters here." Dad added, "Theaters and video rental places." Chihiro added, "and Computer Software stores." Dad noted, "There's a store selling nothing but slightly used car stereos." They wandered into a store advertising all CDs for a dollar and DVDs for five dollars.
"Wow! Look at this!" Dad exclaimed. "A complete collection of Kurosawa DVDs for only fifty bucks!" Mom said, "They go for over a thousand in Tokyo." Chihiro eyed a complete boxed set of Ghibli DVDs. "What's this? a boxed set? There are no legal boxed sets." Chihiro figured it out. "Daddy, all this stuff is counterfeit. That's how they can sell it so cheaply."
Dad replied, "Sure, Chihiro. They're just as good as the originals, and a lot cheaper to boot."
Chihiro protested, "But the distributor will lose money..."
"The distributor is rich. The studio is rich. We're not rich," father rationalized.
Mom came from the back of the store, "Honey, there's a viewing room in the back with a large-screen TV. We can preview the films before we buy them."
"Or NOT buy them," he winked. "Let's go pop one in the player to see the quality."
"But there's nobody here," pleaded Chihiro, "let's put the stuff back and leave."
Father sat in the comfortable chair in front of the screen. "Nonsense. I've got credit cards and cash."
Mom sat in the chair next to him and popped the all-region, pre-release DVD of Neko no Ongaeshi in the player. "Look, honey, they even have a trough full of popcorn for us to munch on."
Chihiro, disgusted, left her parents and started out the front door of the shop. Meanwhile, in her quarters high atop her bath house, an elderly omnipotent sorceress and three heads bouncing from the floor to get a view of her crystal ball were watching the happenings with keen interest. "Heh heh. Two down--one to go. I wonder what I can offer to tempt that little girl?"
Chihiro stood in the middle of the street. It didn't look the same as she remembered seeing it before she entered the store. The street now took on the appearance of a mall. She passed right by a 'Hello Kitty' store without stopping. One of the bouncing heads, dismayed, passed a Thousand Yen note to each of the other heads--a difficult task to do with one's mouth while bouncing. The head who wagered on 'Snoopy Town' was similarly disappointed. Chihiro stopped in front of the software store and looked in the window. The third head was bouncing up and down very excitedly. "Oi Oi!" The old sorceress leaned forward. "A nerd?" Chihiro saw the latest Microsoft Software Development System--and it was only five bucks. "They're selling everything too cheaply. Something's not quite right with this town," she thought. She looked up at a sign arching over the street. "Ningen Gai? - That means human quarter. What's that all about?"
She wandered further up the street to the end, where a bridge marked the end of the human quarter. From that point, she saw a huge building with a large corporate flag out front. It was a bath house, but Chihiro wasn't in the mood for reality. "I'll bet that's an Internet auction site," she thought to herself, "and I just passed through their showroom." Just then, she heard the familiar sound of a train passing beneath the bridge. She climbed on the rail to get a good look when she saw a boy, about 12 years old, standing nearby. "You shouldn't be here," he warned.
His voice startled Chihiro. "Ewww. How come you have the voice of a thirty year-old?"
"Casting?" he offered. The sun started setting rapidly, as it usually does in Fushigi-na places. The boy continued, "You need to leave here quickly. I'll distract them."
Chihiro panicked. It was getting dark VERY quickly. The town started lighting up. Eerie shapes of spirits started moving about the streets and in the shops. She ran to find her parents. The video store was lit up. She ran past the apparitions browsing the aisles to the back room where...
...she found two large, clothed pigs gouging themselves on the popcorn in the trough in front of the widescreen TV. "Mommy! Daddy! Where are you?" She ran out into the street.
------------------------------------
"What do you think, Jim?"
"It'll work, Mike. The rest of the movie can be spliced seemlessly after that point."
"What about product placement? Audi Japan got their money's worth."
"Well, we should at least get Sanrio and Snoopy Town to go along, or we'll need to run this by legal."
"Agreed."
"Anyway..."
"Yes?"
"What about a sequel?"
"I like it."
"...or a TV series?"
"What if Ghibli doesn't go along?"
"We can change the story and rewrite the whole thing. Make it about a girl, her elder sister, and maybe a few loveable aliens."
"Cool."
The, uh, Fushigi-na Town
The passageway through the, uh, mon was long and dark. A faint opening was visible up ahead, but it wasn't an opening into the sunlight. Chihiro grumbled, "This looks--wow! cool echo--more like a tunnel than a gate to me. Are you sure this isn't a tunnel instead?"
"If it makes you happy," mom replied with sigh.
Chihiro started making clapping sounds and stomping her feet hard for the echo effect. "BWAHAHA," she belted from the depths of her lungs. She was quite pleased with the reverberating sound it made. "Mommy-ommy-ommy, how-how-how much-ch-ch longer-ger are-are we-we-we going to be? to be? to be?"
"Cut that out Chihiro," mom scolded. "This tunnel doesn't have that kind of echo."
Dad contributed to the conversation, "It's more like a karaoke machine set on the 'really bad singer' setting kind of echo." The three giggled. Mom seemed intrigued by dad's choice of simile. She asked, "What setting do you use?" Dad replied, "I just use straight amplification..." It was too late. Chihiro smiled. "Busssted..."
Momentarily, the three entered a large chamber. "This doesn't look like a tunnel," mom noted. "It doesn't look like a gate," dad exclaimed. "It doesn't look like a 'mon' either," Chihiro said under her breath. "It kinda looks like a station or a terminal of some sort. Sunlight filtered in the room from windows high aloft and from the open doorway, which was not aloft. A familiar sound faded in and out. "A train!" Chihiro felt there might be some civilization around her home in the "barren hinterlands" after all. Mom seemed relieved, too. "There might be a station nearby--with shops." She looked at dad with a glinty smile, "There might also be a karaoke bar or two."
Dad escaped out into the light and looked around. Mom and Chihiro followed shortly. "Yappari, uh, Just as I thought," he announced, "it's an old amusement park." He stopped, turned, looked straight at the audience and said, "Just in case you're another one of those brainless film critics, let me make it clear that I *said* it's an amusement park. That does not mean it *is* an amusement park. Got that?" He resumed his conversation with the family. "Let's go a little further, ok?" Mom was enjoying the nice weather and beautiful scenery, which was just as pretty as a Miyazaki cel background--with a slight red tint. "I should have brought sandwiches from the car."
Chihiro was not too keen on this idea. Her parents wandered ahead anyway. "What!!? are you still going on?" The wind howled in from behind her. "Hey!" She gave up and rejoined them. Just as they crossed over some stones hosting a trickle of water, dad caught the smell of something good to eat. "Smell that? Buttered popcorn!" Mom noticed, too. "You're right. smells great." Chihiro tried her best to keep up, but it was a task climbing over the the stones. The aroma of buttered popcorn led them to the edge of a town. Following the scent, they wandered deeper into town. Mom was noticing the businesses lining the streets. "There sure are a lot of theaters here." Dad added, "Theaters and video rental places." Chihiro added, "and Computer Software stores." Dad noted, "There's a store selling nothing but slightly used car stereos." They wandered into a store advertising all CDs for a dollar and DVDs for five dollars.
"Wow! Look at this!" Dad exclaimed. "A complete collection of Kurosawa DVDs for only fifty bucks!" Mom said, "They go for over a thousand in Tokyo." Chihiro eyed a complete boxed set of Ghibli DVDs. "What's this? a boxed set? There are no legal boxed sets." Chihiro figured it out. "Daddy, all this stuff is counterfeit. That's how they can sell it so cheaply."
Dad replied, "Sure, Chihiro. They're just as good as the originals, and a lot cheaper to boot."
Chihiro protested, "But the distributor will lose money..."
"The distributor is rich. The studio is rich. We're not rich," father rationalized.
Mom came from the back of the store, "Honey, there's a viewing room in the back with a large-screen TV. We can preview the films before we buy them."
"Or NOT buy them," he winked. "Let's go pop one in the player to see the quality."
"But there's nobody here," pleaded Chihiro, "let's put the stuff back and leave."
Father sat in the comfortable chair in front of the screen. "Nonsense. I've got credit cards and cash."
Mom sat in the chair next to him and popped the all-region, pre-release DVD of Neko no Ongaeshi in the player. "Look, honey, they even have a trough full of popcorn for us to munch on."
Chihiro, disgusted, left her parents and started out the front door of the shop. Meanwhile, in her quarters high atop her bath house, an elderly omnipotent sorceress and three heads bouncing from the floor to get a view of her crystal ball were watching the happenings with keen interest. "Heh heh. Two down--one to go. I wonder what I can offer to tempt that little girl?"
Chihiro stood in the middle of the street. It didn't look the same as she remembered seeing it before she entered the store. The street now took on the appearance of a mall. She passed right by a 'Hello Kitty' store without stopping. One of the bouncing heads, dismayed, passed a Thousand Yen note to each of the other heads--a difficult task to do with one's mouth while bouncing. The head who wagered on 'Snoopy Town' was similarly disappointed. Chihiro stopped in front of the software store and looked in the window. The third head was bouncing up and down very excitedly. "Oi Oi!" The old sorceress leaned forward. "A nerd?" Chihiro saw the latest Microsoft Software Development System--and it was only five bucks. "They're selling everything too cheaply. Something's not quite right with this town," she thought. She looked up at a sign arching over the street. "Ningen Gai? - That means human quarter. What's that all about?"
She wandered further up the street to the end, where a bridge marked the end of the human quarter. From that point, she saw a huge building with a large corporate flag out front. It was a bath house, but Chihiro wasn't in the mood for reality. "I'll bet that's an Internet auction site," she thought to herself, "and I just passed through their showroom." Just then, she heard the familiar sound of a train passing beneath the bridge. She climbed on the rail to get a good look when she saw a boy, about 12 years old, standing nearby. "You shouldn't be here," he warned.
His voice startled Chihiro. "Ewww. How come you have the voice of a thirty year-old?"
"Casting?" he offered. The sun started setting rapidly, as it usually does in Fushigi-na places. The boy continued, "You need to leave here quickly. I'll distract them."
Chihiro panicked. It was getting dark VERY quickly. The town started lighting up. Eerie shapes of spirits started moving about the streets and in the shops. She ran to find her parents. The video store was lit up. She ran past the apparitions browsing the aisles to the back room where...
...she found two large, clothed pigs gouging themselves on the popcorn in the trough in front of the widescreen TV. "Mommy! Daddy! Where are you?" She ran out into the street.
------------------------------------
"What do you think, Jim?"
"It'll work, Mike. The rest of the movie can be spliced seemlessly after that point."
"What about product placement? Audi Japan got their money's worth."
"Well, we should at least get Sanrio and Snoopy Town to go along, or we'll need to run this by legal."
"Agreed."
"Anyway..."
"Yes?"
"What about a sequel?"
"I like it."
"...or a TV series?"
"What if Ghibli doesn't go along?"
"We can change the story and rewrite the whole thing. Make it about a girl, her elder sister, and maybe a few loveable aliens."
"Cool."