A.N: Thanks for the reviews. I am eternally grateful! :P
Oh, and Cam's cameo will be in the next chappy since I decided that this part was more suited to follow chapter three. Sorry for the mix up! He will be in chapter five, though, as long as no other chronological conflict comes along! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own 10 Things (...yet again...) and I don't own the band Seether or their song, Broken. I am simply using it to fit my liking! lol R&R, please!
Chapter 4: Broken
***************
The afternoon felt dry, like the sun was sucking all of the air out of the world; which wouldn't be such a bad thing, I mused. As I slowly trudged up the steps to my house, I wondered whether coming home at all was really the best option. I wouldn't take off like my unwelcome mother had, but I suddenly felt myself wishing that the time to leave to Sarah Lawrence would hurry up and arrive. There was nothing like dealing with something by...not dealing with it.
As soon as I opened the door I walked uncaringly towards the stairs only to be stopped by my father's voice from somewhere close behind me,
"Kat. Freeze. Talk." He ordered in three simple words and I found myself turning to him despite my complete distaste for doing exactly that.
"Nothing to talk about." I told him sternly and then looked over his shoulder as if to search for the other person of which I knew had to be there.
"She's not here." He interrupted my search and I frowned, realizing that I was too obvious about it.
"What a surprise, because disappearing acts were never her thing, right?" I snapped hurtfully at him. He swallowed and sighed.
"She went out to see her parents. She hasn't seen them in three years, either, if you can remember straight."
"I do." I replied, softening at his undetering tone.
He beckoned for the couch and I followed him reluctantly, sitting down at the opposite end of it in order to keep as much distance between me and the man who had apparently completely disregarded my mother's faults to allow her back into our lives. He noticed this but said nothing.
"I have every right to be angry," then I cocked my head to the side, "angrier anyway." I refocused on him and raised my eyebrows.
"Yes, you do-."
"Dad! Wait...I do?" I asked, catching my mistake quickly.
"Yes," he responded. "Your mother was gone for three years, Katarina, she can't exactly expect us all to adjust to this reappearance immediately-or ever for that matter. She wanted all four of us to have a talk yesterday afternoon, but it seemed that it would be more appropriate to wait." He said pointedly about my leaving yesterday and I half-frowned quickly. "We need to talk about how we're going to deal with this."
"So-what? We're just going to have to adjust? She left us, Daddy! She left!" I told him with my voice rising as I stood up angrily. "She comes back, starts ordering meetings for us, and then we're just supposed to let old wounds heal? Well, excuse me if I'm not interested in that proposal in the slightest!"
He continued to sit there, knowing then that I hadn't spoken two words towards her leaving regardless of his attempts to get it out in the open. In a way, I suppose he thought that it was better to erupt in front of him that blow up around someone else.
I noticed this gesture and immediately shut my mouth. I wasn't about to let myself be psycho analyzed regardless of the circumstances. I shook my head slowly in angry frustration. Turning around quickly, I strode over to the coat rack and snatched my full length black coat off and walked briskly to the door.
"Kat!" I heard him call after me as he followed me hurriedly; re-opening the door after I closed it very close to his face. "Kat, this isn't the best situation, I know-."
"Situation?" I whirled around on the porch as he walked out and spit back at him. "Situation?! Telling Bianca she couldn't date until I did, was a situation. Finding out that Patrick went out with me because Joey "the Jerk" Donner paid him to-was a situation. *This* sucks!" I shook my head exasperated. "I don't want to know her, Dad. I lost that interest a long time ago. She should have stayed gone, because the moment she willingly stepped out of that door was the moment I wished she'd never come back."
His eyes widened and I sensed another presence behind me before I even turned to see my petite, blonde, mother standing there with the most crushed expression that I had ever seen on anybody's face before. My face was expressionless as I stood there feeling very sick. I rolled my eyes, pushing past her and muttering,
"Remorse isn't something I do," I blatantly letting her know that she would get no apology for what I'd been holding inside of me and stalked off to take shelter in my car. Mandella's house was hot on my mind.
******************
I had been driving for a while when a small buzz went off inside one of my larger pockets. I pulled out the cell phone that I had bought for emergencies and looked at the number: Patrick. I hesitated before replacing it in my pants and looking back to the road. I couldn't talk to Patrick yet even though part of me wanted nothing else but to do just that. He would be worried, sarcastically avoiding telling me that bluntly, but he woudld be. Though, it still didn't change the fact that right now I just needed to drive. I needed to think.
I mean, who did she think she was anyway? Walking away-potentially forever-and then moseyeing right back into our lives? My father and Bianca may have some sort of super molding abilities, but I wasn't about to alter my lack of acceptance just because she gave us puppy dog eyes and wandered in the house with her tail between her legs. The fact that they were even considering it made me slightly nauseous.
I groaned loudly and hit the steering wheel in frustration. Just to distract myself I did something that I hadn't done since the first day I got my car...I changed the station. I scoffed. Everything was below my high level of expectations in the music department until I finally landed on something that immediately had me pulling my hand back over to the steering wheel.
I squinted my eyes in concentration as Seether's 'Broken' poured in through my speakers, singing -or crying- words that fit my situation all too well.
~I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
~I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
~I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
~I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
`An image of my mother and I playing in the park when I was five flashed into my head as I continued to burn holes into the pavement ahead of me.`
~Cause Im broken when I'm open
~And I don't feel like I am strong enough
~Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
~And I don't feel right when you're gone away
`She bent down to adjust my yellow sun dress on my shoulders and smiled at the finished results. I grinned back up at her and looked down shyly as she giggled her soft whispery laugh into the wind of the cool Autumn day.`
I shook my head slightly at the memory and tried to force my mind to refocus on the road, but the song continued and my slight twitch did nothing to restrain the sweet vision of the past.
~The worst is over now and we can breathe again
~I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
~There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
~I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
`With ease, she leaned over and gave my forehead a small kiss, before picking me up in her arms and swinging me around.`
~Cause Im broken when I'm open
~And I don't feel like I am strong enough
~Cause Im broken when I'm lonesome
~And I don't feel right when you're gone away
`"Mommy," I had whispered to her when she set me back down with the same loving smile lining her soft features.
"What is it, sweety?" She knelt down to look me directly in the eyes, moving her thin hand to brush the strand of blonde hair that kept pulling free of my ponytail out of my eyes.
"Will we be friends forever?" My eyes grew two times as they watched her adoringly, in hopes that her answer would be affirmative.
She simply smiled and replied in a breezy heart stopping whisper, "I'll never leave you, sweety...never."`
I yanked the car to the side of the road and slammed on the brakes with unintentional force. But it felt good to strike out like that, so I did it again. My left hand clenched into a tight fist and my right arm swung back and slapped the steering wheel angrily. I slammed my other foot down and the car lurched forward only to be abruptly stopped when I kicked out the opposite one. I punched the space in front of me again and again, moving the car with my kicks and finally snatching the keys from the ignition and throwing myself out of the car. I crossed over to the passenger's side and flung the door open bending down to reach into the glove compartment which fell open without a complaint.
Reaching my hand inside, I dug around for only a few seconds before withdrawing my trembling hand to reveal a small white Polaroid. I turned it around slowly to reveal a picture of an attractive, thin, woman with streaming blonde hair that only too many people had complimented me on inheriting in my early years. She had her arm wrapped around a three year younger version of myself with matching goofy grins on our faces. Smiles of two best friends hanging out...smiles that she had made sure would never have the opportunity to show themselves again.
"God..." I muttered under my breath; standing in between the open car door and the car itself. "God!" I screamed at the sky and immediately quieted as I laid my head down onto my arms that rested on the hood of the car.
Swallowing hard, I sunk down into the passenger seat, hunching over my lap pensively. Finally, I withdrew my phone and grudgingly brought my thumb to one of the few numbers I had on speed dial.
"Patrick?" I asked after I heard the click. "Tell Bianca I'm fine." I said half-heartedly in response to his comment on looking for me with my sister. "Could you just come pick me up? I need someone to drive me to Mandella's." I rolled my eyes, annoyed at his next question. "No, my car's fine." He said something else and I sighed. "No, I don't care if you drop Bianca off first." He started to say something else, but I cut in. "Look! Patrick, are you coming or not, because if today isn't manageable for you I'm sure I can ring up one of my other less 'interrogation-happy' boyfriends."
One seductively sarcastic comment and a click afterward, I flipped the phone shut and let out a quick breath. I looked down at the picture of the pretty face that I held in my hand again and clenched my jaw. Leaning back into the car, I put the key back in with a twist and switched the station back to my monotony of angry girl rock.
Joan Jett's, 'Bad Reputation', screamed through the speakers and sullied me as I leaned back into the seat.
"Yeah," I muttered. "I don't give a damn, either."
******************
A.N: So I hope the plot is shaping a better look at Kat's view on her mom's coming home! Please review! I'm much obliged!
Oh, and Cam's cameo will be in the next chappy since I decided that this part was more suited to follow chapter three. Sorry for the mix up! He will be in chapter five, though, as long as no other chronological conflict comes along! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own 10 Things (...yet again...) and I don't own the band Seether or their song, Broken. I am simply using it to fit my liking! lol R&R, please!
Chapter 4: Broken
***************
The afternoon felt dry, like the sun was sucking all of the air out of the world; which wouldn't be such a bad thing, I mused. As I slowly trudged up the steps to my house, I wondered whether coming home at all was really the best option. I wouldn't take off like my unwelcome mother had, but I suddenly felt myself wishing that the time to leave to Sarah Lawrence would hurry up and arrive. There was nothing like dealing with something by...not dealing with it.
As soon as I opened the door I walked uncaringly towards the stairs only to be stopped by my father's voice from somewhere close behind me,
"Kat. Freeze. Talk." He ordered in three simple words and I found myself turning to him despite my complete distaste for doing exactly that.
"Nothing to talk about." I told him sternly and then looked over his shoulder as if to search for the other person of which I knew had to be there.
"She's not here." He interrupted my search and I frowned, realizing that I was too obvious about it.
"What a surprise, because disappearing acts were never her thing, right?" I snapped hurtfully at him. He swallowed and sighed.
"She went out to see her parents. She hasn't seen them in three years, either, if you can remember straight."
"I do." I replied, softening at his undetering tone.
He beckoned for the couch and I followed him reluctantly, sitting down at the opposite end of it in order to keep as much distance between me and the man who had apparently completely disregarded my mother's faults to allow her back into our lives. He noticed this but said nothing.
"I have every right to be angry," then I cocked my head to the side, "angrier anyway." I refocused on him and raised my eyebrows.
"Yes, you do-."
"Dad! Wait...I do?" I asked, catching my mistake quickly.
"Yes," he responded. "Your mother was gone for three years, Katarina, she can't exactly expect us all to adjust to this reappearance immediately-or ever for that matter. She wanted all four of us to have a talk yesterday afternoon, but it seemed that it would be more appropriate to wait." He said pointedly about my leaving yesterday and I half-frowned quickly. "We need to talk about how we're going to deal with this."
"So-what? We're just going to have to adjust? She left us, Daddy! She left!" I told him with my voice rising as I stood up angrily. "She comes back, starts ordering meetings for us, and then we're just supposed to let old wounds heal? Well, excuse me if I'm not interested in that proposal in the slightest!"
He continued to sit there, knowing then that I hadn't spoken two words towards her leaving regardless of his attempts to get it out in the open. In a way, I suppose he thought that it was better to erupt in front of him that blow up around someone else.
I noticed this gesture and immediately shut my mouth. I wasn't about to let myself be psycho analyzed regardless of the circumstances. I shook my head slowly in angry frustration. Turning around quickly, I strode over to the coat rack and snatched my full length black coat off and walked briskly to the door.
"Kat!" I heard him call after me as he followed me hurriedly; re-opening the door after I closed it very close to his face. "Kat, this isn't the best situation, I know-."
"Situation?" I whirled around on the porch as he walked out and spit back at him. "Situation?! Telling Bianca she couldn't date until I did, was a situation. Finding out that Patrick went out with me because Joey "the Jerk" Donner paid him to-was a situation. *This* sucks!" I shook my head exasperated. "I don't want to know her, Dad. I lost that interest a long time ago. She should have stayed gone, because the moment she willingly stepped out of that door was the moment I wished she'd never come back."
His eyes widened and I sensed another presence behind me before I even turned to see my petite, blonde, mother standing there with the most crushed expression that I had ever seen on anybody's face before. My face was expressionless as I stood there feeling very sick. I rolled my eyes, pushing past her and muttering,
"Remorse isn't something I do," I blatantly letting her know that she would get no apology for what I'd been holding inside of me and stalked off to take shelter in my car. Mandella's house was hot on my mind.
******************
I had been driving for a while when a small buzz went off inside one of my larger pockets. I pulled out the cell phone that I had bought for emergencies and looked at the number: Patrick. I hesitated before replacing it in my pants and looking back to the road. I couldn't talk to Patrick yet even though part of me wanted nothing else but to do just that. He would be worried, sarcastically avoiding telling me that bluntly, but he woudld be. Though, it still didn't change the fact that right now I just needed to drive. I needed to think.
I mean, who did she think she was anyway? Walking away-potentially forever-and then moseyeing right back into our lives? My father and Bianca may have some sort of super molding abilities, but I wasn't about to alter my lack of acceptance just because she gave us puppy dog eyes and wandered in the house with her tail between her legs. The fact that they were even considering it made me slightly nauseous.
I groaned loudly and hit the steering wheel in frustration. Just to distract myself I did something that I hadn't done since the first day I got my car...I changed the station. I scoffed. Everything was below my high level of expectations in the music department until I finally landed on something that immediately had me pulling my hand back over to the steering wheel.
I squinted my eyes in concentration as Seether's 'Broken' poured in through my speakers, singing -or crying- words that fit my situation all too well.
~I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
~I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
~I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
~I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
`An image of my mother and I playing in the park when I was five flashed into my head as I continued to burn holes into the pavement ahead of me.`
~Cause Im broken when I'm open
~And I don't feel like I am strong enough
~Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
~And I don't feel right when you're gone away
`She bent down to adjust my yellow sun dress on my shoulders and smiled at the finished results. I grinned back up at her and looked down shyly as she giggled her soft whispery laugh into the wind of the cool Autumn day.`
I shook my head slightly at the memory and tried to force my mind to refocus on the road, but the song continued and my slight twitch did nothing to restrain the sweet vision of the past.
~The worst is over now and we can breathe again
~I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
~There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
~I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
`With ease, she leaned over and gave my forehead a small kiss, before picking me up in her arms and swinging me around.`
~Cause Im broken when I'm open
~And I don't feel like I am strong enough
~Cause Im broken when I'm lonesome
~And I don't feel right when you're gone away
`"Mommy," I had whispered to her when she set me back down with the same loving smile lining her soft features.
"What is it, sweety?" She knelt down to look me directly in the eyes, moving her thin hand to brush the strand of blonde hair that kept pulling free of my ponytail out of my eyes.
"Will we be friends forever?" My eyes grew two times as they watched her adoringly, in hopes that her answer would be affirmative.
She simply smiled and replied in a breezy heart stopping whisper, "I'll never leave you, sweety...never."`
I yanked the car to the side of the road and slammed on the brakes with unintentional force. But it felt good to strike out like that, so I did it again. My left hand clenched into a tight fist and my right arm swung back and slapped the steering wheel angrily. I slammed my other foot down and the car lurched forward only to be abruptly stopped when I kicked out the opposite one. I punched the space in front of me again and again, moving the car with my kicks and finally snatching the keys from the ignition and throwing myself out of the car. I crossed over to the passenger's side and flung the door open bending down to reach into the glove compartment which fell open without a complaint.
Reaching my hand inside, I dug around for only a few seconds before withdrawing my trembling hand to reveal a small white Polaroid. I turned it around slowly to reveal a picture of an attractive, thin, woman with streaming blonde hair that only too many people had complimented me on inheriting in my early years. She had her arm wrapped around a three year younger version of myself with matching goofy grins on our faces. Smiles of two best friends hanging out...smiles that she had made sure would never have the opportunity to show themselves again.
"God..." I muttered under my breath; standing in between the open car door and the car itself. "God!" I screamed at the sky and immediately quieted as I laid my head down onto my arms that rested on the hood of the car.
Swallowing hard, I sunk down into the passenger seat, hunching over my lap pensively. Finally, I withdrew my phone and grudgingly brought my thumb to one of the few numbers I had on speed dial.
"Patrick?" I asked after I heard the click. "Tell Bianca I'm fine." I said half-heartedly in response to his comment on looking for me with my sister. "Could you just come pick me up? I need someone to drive me to Mandella's." I rolled my eyes, annoyed at his next question. "No, my car's fine." He said something else and I sighed. "No, I don't care if you drop Bianca off first." He started to say something else, but I cut in. "Look! Patrick, are you coming or not, because if today isn't manageable for you I'm sure I can ring up one of my other less 'interrogation-happy' boyfriends."
One seductively sarcastic comment and a click afterward, I flipped the phone shut and let out a quick breath. I looked down at the picture of the pretty face that I held in my hand again and clenched my jaw. Leaning back into the car, I put the key back in with a twist and switched the station back to my monotony of angry girl rock.
Joan Jett's, 'Bad Reputation', screamed through the speakers and sullied me as I leaned back into the seat.
"Yeah," I muttered. "I don't give a damn, either."
******************
A.N: So I hope the plot is shaping a better look at Kat's view on her mom's coming home! Please review! I'm much obliged!