* Well, the last chapter got such a big reaction; I thought I'd carry on.
But please understand - I DON'T hate slash (incidentally if anyone cares to
visit a fanfic titled 'Certainly Unexpected' they will be able to read the
best slash in existence) and yes, I accepted it often happened on pirate
ships and indeed any place where men are left alone for long periods of
time, throughout history.
And I don't condone crap Mary-Sues or You-Jack stories (though good ones are fine) - hence my latest offering
However I simply chose to knock slash first as I myself am writing a story that could be called a Mary-Sue and I'm scared to face the truth and I don't really know enough about You-Jack to write a good parody.
Also I'm sorry about the spelling mistakes in the first chapter - I was so full of excitement at my amusing lil' scenario that spellcheck when out the window. Finally those of you that complained about there being too many parodies - don't read them! Please remember its just a joke and have a nice day :) *
Jack stood at the helm of the Black Pearl, his hair blew in the wind (the beads and amulets created an affect not unlike a windchime) and his shirt was blown open to reveal his darkly tanned chest. Will stopped swabbing the deck to stare with desire at those dark kohl-rimmed eyes, staring fixedly into middle distance. Suddenly there was a shout from above.
"Land ahoy!"
That night they landed in Tortuga, it was big and full of taverns and whores and rum and pirates and whores and rum and taverns.
Jack was sitting in one such tavern, knocking back the rum, with a whore neatly tucked under his arm. Her name was Violet (or it could have been Ebony or Olivia, or even Catherine) and her last name was that of a bird (raven or something - it makes for catchy titles). She was stunningly beautiful, with big eyes and lots of flowing black hair.
Violet wanted to be a pirate, its all she ever wanted, she is strangely vague about her occupation of shagging men for money but is very vocal on the subject of wanting to be a pirate - and only the Black Pearl will do.
Jack, who seems to have a permanent shortage of young tavern wenches totally unfamiliar with the sea serving as sailors aboard his ship, agrees.
"Oh Cap'n Sparrow, I'm so lucky to be doing this, my life's dream and yet I'm going to be very cheeky to you, to show I am a strong new-age woman who can hold her own aboard a ship full of pirates." Violet gushes as they board the ship the next morning.
"That'll be grand Violet - I will show a similar mild dislike for you and tease you mercilessly in the manner of a chauvinistic male. I will begin by telling you there is no space on the ship apart from in my cabin, so you will have to sleep there." Here Jack nudges the poor girl and she slaps him
"I'm not sure if I deserved that"
(at this time a pantomime horse appears and someone shouts 'he's behind you!' as this is about the element of sophistication 'I'm not sure if I deserved that' is on a par with)
And I don't condone crap Mary-Sues or You-Jack stories (though good ones are fine) - hence my latest offering
However I simply chose to knock slash first as I myself am writing a story that could be called a Mary-Sue and I'm scared to face the truth and I don't really know enough about You-Jack to write a good parody.
Also I'm sorry about the spelling mistakes in the first chapter - I was so full of excitement at my amusing lil' scenario that spellcheck when out the window. Finally those of you that complained about there being too many parodies - don't read them! Please remember its just a joke and have a nice day :) *
Jack stood at the helm of the Black Pearl, his hair blew in the wind (the beads and amulets created an affect not unlike a windchime) and his shirt was blown open to reveal his darkly tanned chest. Will stopped swabbing the deck to stare with desire at those dark kohl-rimmed eyes, staring fixedly into middle distance. Suddenly there was a shout from above.
"Land ahoy!"
That night they landed in Tortuga, it was big and full of taverns and whores and rum and pirates and whores and rum and taverns.
Jack was sitting in one such tavern, knocking back the rum, with a whore neatly tucked under his arm. Her name was Violet (or it could have been Ebony or Olivia, or even Catherine) and her last name was that of a bird (raven or something - it makes for catchy titles). She was stunningly beautiful, with big eyes and lots of flowing black hair.
Violet wanted to be a pirate, its all she ever wanted, she is strangely vague about her occupation of shagging men for money but is very vocal on the subject of wanting to be a pirate - and only the Black Pearl will do.
Jack, who seems to have a permanent shortage of young tavern wenches totally unfamiliar with the sea serving as sailors aboard his ship, agrees.
"Oh Cap'n Sparrow, I'm so lucky to be doing this, my life's dream and yet I'm going to be very cheeky to you, to show I am a strong new-age woman who can hold her own aboard a ship full of pirates." Violet gushes as they board the ship the next morning.
"That'll be grand Violet - I will show a similar mild dislike for you and tease you mercilessly in the manner of a chauvinistic male. I will begin by telling you there is no space on the ship apart from in my cabin, so you will have to sleep there." Here Jack nudges the poor girl and she slaps him
"I'm not sure if I deserved that"
(at this time a pantomime horse appears and someone shouts 'he's behind you!' as this is about the element of sophistication 'I'm not sure if I deserved that' is on a par with)