My thanks to all the reviewers of the previous chapter: Konzen, Silent Banshee, Jebb, dd9736, Farflung, Dragonfly, Melissa, Kitsune, Karri, and, of course, Joee, who planted the seed for the story. My thanks also to the reviewers of the earlier chapters. Your encouragement is greatly appreciated.
While Glorfindel had been riding through the rain in search of Erestor, Mithrandir had been hunkered down with his Ranger friend. The wizard was very glad he had accepted the invitation to join him at his camp because, between the two of them, they had managed to contrive a shelter for Mithrandir's packs. The wizard was sure that the fireworks would otherwise have been spoiled.
Now the two sat companionably before a fire, smoking, steam arising from their damp clothes. The Ranger suddenly withdrew his pipe from his mouth.
"Someone approaches."
He listened intently.
"On horseback."
He listened some more.
"Two."
"Friend or foe?" asked Mithrandir.
"Elves," the Ranger said at last.
The Ranger relaxed and put his pipe back in his mouth. The two waited patiently. After awhile, Mithrandir, too, could hear the approaching horses, and at last Erestor and Glorfindel hove into view.
The Ranger arose to his feet, but Gandalf remained seated, as befit his age and dignity. From his comfortable seat by the fire, he commenced introductions.
"Halbarad, no doubt you are acquainted with Elrond and Glorfindel."
"Aye."
"And Elrond and Glorfindel, I think you have met Halbarad son of Halbarad."
"I believe so," said Glorfindel, bowing slightly. "Wasn't your father the son of Halbarad son of Halbarad?"
"That is true," said the Ranger.
"And the latter was himself the son of Halbarad son of Halbarad"
"Yes."
"Your family is very fond of the name of Halbarad," Erestor observed.
"Apparently so," came the answer. As you have no doubt realized by now, Halbarad was a master of the laconic speech of the Dúnadain.
"Well," interjected Mithrandir, "now that Halbarad's genealogy has been cleared up, to what do we owe the honor of this visit?"
Glorfindel spoke bluntly.
"You must return to Rivendell on Anomen's account."
Mithrandir dropped his pipe in alarm as he leaped to his feet.
"His injuries have proved to be more severe than we thought!?" he exclaimed.
"Actually, no," admitted Glorfindel.
"But he has taken a turn for the worse?"
"In a sense, yes."
Mithrandir drew his bushy eyebrows together.
"It is not your place to speak in riddles, my friend. I am the wizard!"
"Mithrandir," Erestor declared, "is it not true that you left without saying goodbye to Anomen?"
Mithrandir stared at him.
"You want me to return to Rivendell because I did not bid Anomen farewell?"
"In a word—yes."
Mithrandir spluttered.
"Of all the arrant nonsense—"
"It is not arrant nonsense," Glorfindel interrupted. "I would sooner see someone break his limbs than break his heart."
This was really quite an extraordinary pronouncement for the balrog-slayer, and both Erestor and Mithrandir gaped at him. The Ranger, meanwhile, pulled on his pipe in amusement. Elves and wizards—delightful creatures, really. Good for endless amusement. Scarcely outdone by Dwarves in that department.
Mithrandir cleared his throat.
"Well, well," he harrumphed, "if you really think it is that important."
"I do," Glorfindel declared firmly.
"Oh, very well, then. But my horses will not thank you! To have come all this way and now to have to turn back!"
Halbarad spoke then.
"If you would like, Mithrandir, I will lead on your train of horses. I know of a good place to camp just past the Last Bridge, and I shall await you there."
"Ah, yes, I know that place. Very well. It shall be so. Erestor and Glorfindel, I shall return with you to Imladris. By the by, why did it take the two of you to deliver this message? Erestor, I should have thought that you would have remained in Rivendell."
Erestor blushed, and Mithrandir quirked a bushy eyebrow.
"I see that there must be a story here. Well, well, maybe later."
The Elves helped the Ranger reload Mithrandir's horses—the wizard was still standing, or sitting, as it were, on his dignity—and he departed for the west whilst the others headed east. They road rapidly, not stopping to rest, and they arrived at Rivendell by nightfall. Mithrandir did not bother to change his clothes but went straight to Anomen's chamber, bursting in without knocking.
"Mithrandir!" exclaimed Anomen. "What do you here!?"
"My lad, I was half way to the Shire when I realized that I had forgotten to say good-bye to you. When I realized my oversight, I hastened back at once."
"Did you!? Oh, Mithrandir," cried Anomen, tears filling his eyes, "I thought you were angry with me and that's why you said nothing!"
"Angry! Well, a little irritated, perhaps, for what you did was quite wrong."
"Oh, yes!" Anomen said with such contriteness that had the wizard actually been angry, he would have given over the emotion in an instant.
"Well, well, all is forgiven, my lad. And I hope you'll excuse the absent-mindedness of an old Man."
"Oh, of course, Mithrandir. I don't mind a bit."
It must be said, however, that the tears coursing down his cheeks belied that last claim.
Mithrandir pulled a chair next to the bed.
"Here," he said kindly, "I will sit with you for awhile. Would you like me to tell you a story?"
"Yes," sniffed Anomen.
"Is there any particular story that you would like to hear?"
Anomen thought a minute.
"Could you explain Erestor's allegory?"
This was not quite the story that Mithrandir had in mind, but as he looked at Anomen's hopeful face, the wizard did not have the heart to say no.
"Very well. Now, Anomen, what Erestor was trying to convey, in his inimitable fashion—"
"Inimitable?"
"There is no one quite like Erestor—would you not agree?"
"Oh, yes," Anomen replied fervently.
"Well, what Erestor was trying to describe to you, in his not-to-be-imitated fashion, is how two Elves come together from time to time in a union that is so close that their bodies become as one."
"An Elf and an Elleth?"
"Generally an Elf and an Elleth," said Mithrandir.
Anomen noticed the word 'generally'.
"Not always an Elf and an Elleth?"
Under his breath Mithrandir muttered an imprecation in the Quenya tongue. He had gone and introduced a complication into the tale that Elrond would probably not appreciate—Erestor certainly wouldn't! He would have to choose his words more carefully.
"I think, to help you understand, I will describe the simplest case. Once you comprehend matters, I may add more details. For now we will talk of the union between an Elf and an Elleth."
Anomen nodded. He had enough experience with Erestor to know that sometimes a subject could be explained too thoroughly.
"First," said Mithrandir. "A bit of anatomy. An Elf has an ecthel. An Elleth for her part has a sheath, a kind of passageway within her body whose entrance is very near the place where she makes water. The ecthel can fit within the sheath. Now I know you may have difficulty imagining yourself fitting your ecthel into anything, but when you are older, you will find that your ecthel will upon occasion grow longer, thicker, and stiffer. Then it will do nicely, I can assure you."
Anomen immediately wondered how Mithrandir had come by his confidence in his facts. Blissfully unaware of this, the wizard waited a few minutes for Anomen to digest the information he had just been given. At length the elfling nodded and looked inquiringly at him. The wizard resumed the lesson.
"Now I believe that your curiosity first arose when you began to wonder how elflings came to be. The Elleth contributes a little something—we call it an egg—and the Elf contributes a little something—we can it the seed. When the egg and the seed combine, the elfling begins to grow within the Elleth's womb, a special chamber within her just for the nurturing of elflings. The egg has been inside the Elleth all along, and the Elf sends the seed through his ecthel and into the Elleth's sheath, whence it makes its way to the egg."
"And the seed must be very small, else it would never fit through the ecthel."
"Indeed, it is quite small, as is the egg. An amazing amount of growth takes place within the womb, for every Elf now living started from such small beginnings. Do you understand?"
"Ye-es," said Anomen slowly, "but I still have some questions. This is also how a stallion and a mare start a foal, is it not?"
"It is how all mammals bring forth their young."
"The mare gives the stallion a pick-a-back ride. Does the Elleth give the Elf a pick-a-back ride? And if she did, wouldn't she injure her back!? We do not go about on four legs like horses!"
Mithrandir smiled.
"You are right. An Elf and an Elleth lie down when they want to bond together, usually in a bed, both for comfort and privacy. It is possible for an Elf to lie down upon the back of an Elleth, but, as they are not shaped like horses, it works very nicely for the two to face one another. Moreover, they find it pleasant to look upon one another's face when they join in this fashion.'
Anomen considered this for a moment.
"Does the Elf lie on top or does the Elleth? I should think the Elf would squash the Elleth because usually they are taller and heavier."
"Believe me," Mithrandir assured him, "the Elf is careful not to 'squash' the Elleth. Besides, you need to give the Elleth more credit for her sturdiness. Do you think it is easy for her to carry an elfling about in her womb, or to push it out when the time comes for it to enter the world?"
"No," said Anomen thoughtfully. "I know it was not easy for my Naneth, for she died trying."
Mithrandir had forgotten that Anomen had more reason than most elflings to be curious about childbirth.
"Aye, that is true, Anomen," he said softly, "but never forget that, whatever happened afterward, your Adar and your Naneth came together as one in order to bring you into this world."
"I will try to remember," Anomen said sadly. Then he brightened as other thoughts occurred to him.
"So Elrond must have done that three times," Anomen said wisely. "No, only twice, because Elladan and Elrohir are twins!"
"Actually, Anomen, an elfling does not come into being every time an Elf and an Elleth join as one. The bond in itself is reason enough for Elf and Elleth to come together, for it is a very pleasant experience."
"So Elrond did that more than twice!?"
"Undoubtedly," replied Mithrandir dryly.
"Glorfindel has no elflings."
"True," said the wizard.
"But since elflings do not always result, that does not mean that Glorfindel has never—"
"Quite right, my lad, quite right!"
"And Erestor—"
"Really, Anomen, all this speculation is fruitless," protested the wizard. As were the liaisons, he added to himself.
Anomen looked disappointed. Then he eyed Mithrandir speculatively.
"Mithrandir, have you ever—"
"You don't see any wizard maidens hereabouts, do you, Anomen?"
"No, but since you said that it wasn't always an Elf and an Elleth, I thought—"
"For an invalid, you think too much," grumbled Mithrandir. He arose.
"Now, Anomen," he said kindly, "you must sleep. I shall still be here in the morning, and I shall come in to give you a proper farewell. Will that do?"
"Yes," replied Anomen, happiness plainly to be seen upon his face. His questions—most of them—had been answered, and his beloved wizard was not angry with him. All was right with the world. Contented, he had drifted into elven dreams even before the wizard had closed the door to his chamber.
Outside, Mithrandir leaned his head upon the door and exhaled.
"You have been hard at work, Mithrandir?"
The wizard glared at Erestor, who stood smirking.
"I will have you know, Erestor, that Anomen has very cleverly deduced that even though you have no elflings, that does not mean you have never—"
"Mithrandir," exclaimed Erestor, horrified, "what have you been telling him!?'
"No more than you told him, only mayhap a little more clearly."
Erestor was indignant.
"I am his tutor. How dare you meddle in my curriculum!?"
"Don't worry," replied Mithrandir dryly. "I have left some things for you to clarify. I did not define 'erection', 'orgasm' 'semen', or 'contraction'. I would by no means deprive you of the pleasure of explaining those terms. Good-night!"
With that, Mithrandir strode off, leaving behind a rueful Erestor, who, for all his protestations, would not have minded in the least if the wizard had finished the lesson in its entirety. Perhaps, he thought hopefully, Anomen, with most of his questions answered, would pursue the subject no longer. But he doubted it, Reader. Oh, how he doubted it!
THE END! (?)