Title: If This Is LA ~ Rory's View
Author: Aquarius Angel
Rating: G
Note: Ok I got some feedback from the first part saying more. I was holding out until
I found the perfect song to express Rory's feelings with, but I just couldn't find one,
so I just started writing. I hope this lives up to expectations. I tried to through
in her thoughts of Jess being gone, and some of the parts (towards the end) that have
to do with the first part!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Gilmore Girls, or claim any of the characters. And the Song
is Austin sung by Blake Shelton, and I don't own/claim it either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You love him, You love him, YOU LOVE HIM!!
A little voice in my head and in my heart keeps saying that over and over. I was
scared that it was true, and I was even more afraid of admitting it. But that little
voice in my head keeps reminding me of the time you rescued me from the demon-possessed
sprinklers, and the time you decorated my room in Yale banners. And the nights we would
sit in silence reading, later swapping books that we knew the other would enjoy the context.
How your hair was never perfect, that your eyes would always tell me what you were really
thinking, and mostly I loved how you were comfortable with my town, even if you refused to
admit to that fact.
When I found out you left, I didn't know what to do. Mom has always been horrible with
relationships, Lane was with Dave, Luke could hardly look at me (though he did give me
all the coffee I wanted), Paris was off with Jamie and her own world, there was no one
I could turn to. Not to mention I didn't know what to do. Were you coming back?
Were we still together? Why did you leave? Why didn't you tell me on the bus that day?
Why did you leave me? What did I do, or what could have I have done? I was confused.
I knew it was you who called me the day of my graduation. I don't know how I knew,
but the same voice that tells me I love you, told me it was you. I wanted it to be you,
I needed it to be you so I could hear your voice. You failed to talk, but I got to tell
you that I loved you. Well I said I could have been in love with you, but I was
confused and now I know I love you. And I needed to tell you, let you know how much
you mean to me.
The messages started in August when my mom came up with the idea of leaving messages
that informed people of why they couldn't reach us. Even though this is against all
security suggestions of answering machine massages, I went along with the idea.
I still remember the first message.
********************************************************************************************
"Mom you know my schedule this week why do I need to do this now."
"Because you know I won't remember, and what if it is Lane trying to get a hold of you?
She doesn't know what your plans for this week are."
"Ok, but if my dorm is burglarized because of this, I'm sticking my roommates on you."
"Ooo… cat fights. Can we charge admission." Lorelai said while jumping up and down and
clapping her hands.
"Mother!" Rory said while rolling her eyes. "Ok here goes nothing."
"Hey this is the Rory..." "Who else would they be calling?" "and that's my
mom, but don't leave a message for her. If it's Monday thru Thursday I'm
probably in class, if it's Friday night I'm at my Grandparents. And if you
are still waiting for that melody it will be a few more milliseconds. oh and
PS if this is LA I still love you."
"You still waiting for him to call." Lorelai asked with a sad look in her eye.
"He called once, he will call again. He just needs time to figure things out."
"You have been saying that for four months."
"He could have tried calling while we were traveling the Continent."
"And Jess could have acted like the smart boy you claim he is by going to school
and sticking around." Lorelai said, though sounding mad at her daughter was really
mad a Jess for leaving her baby without being gutsy enough to tell her what was going
on before he bought a bus ticket.
"He'll call." Rory sighed and dropped onto her bed,
"I hope he does." Lorelai said while gathering her daughter into her arms.
********************************************************************************************
I didn't cry, or what my mom calls wallowing, until after my graduation party.
When I got home and was so exhausted I could barely move, I looked at my bed and
saw the little Yale dog you got me sitting there. I just held onto it and cried
until I fell into a deep sleep. That's when the dream happened
It was us dancing at the dance-a-thon. It was the same song, and it was only the
two of us there. Dean never came to break us up, and the music never stopped.
Then we were dancing in the gazebo in the middle of the park with the little lights
that Taylor keeps up all year round, shinning like stars around us. I looked into
your eyes and told you that I loved you. And then you looked at me and whispered,
'I will always love you Rory.' then you were going to kiss me.
But I woke up before that could happen. And I cried again, because I knew that I
loved you, not that I could have loved you, but that I was truly madly deeply in
love with you. With you gone it hurt like a thousand arrows ripping my skin apart.
Europe helped take my mind off you for a few hours here and there, but you were
always there.
When we got back one of the first things I asked Luke was if you contacted him.
He said no, but that your dad called and said you were with him. That's how I
knew you were in LA. And that's why I waited.
School started and I thought of you being there with me. You would have hated
Yale, but you would have liked the challenge and the older books that the professors
thought were best for learning. We could have study together, and talked about the
books that we were to read for that week. When I started writing for the paper, and
Jonathon wanted my reviews to be more than what they were, I knew that you would have
told me that first and helped me figure out what was missing in them. I wanted
you there, and though I have survived without you, thus far, I need you in my life.
***************************************************************************************
"Hey it's the study alcoholic. If you are bring coffee hunt me down, cause
I need lots of it now. If you are trying to sell something, remember I'm a
student with no money. And since I'm not answering my phone leave a
message if it's a life or death matter. PS if this is LA I love you."
"Rory, babe, It's mommy call me and we can do coffee, and then the coffee guy if we
think he is good enough. But call when you have a minute, and baby I hope he calls soon."
**************************************************************************************
Mom wasn't very supportive but she tried. She wanted me to try and move on, but she
also knew that it was hard to do when you were in love that much.
Thanksgiving came, and I thought of last year we ate at the dinner with you and Luke.
And how special it all seemed. Christmas was next, and I bought you an original copy
over Oliver Twist, and it's sitting in my room waiting for you to open it. New Years
I was hoping for my kiss, but I settled for watching the ball drop with my mom, and
watching Gone with the Wind all night long. But I waited and Luke keeping looking at
me with sad eyes. Lane understood, but was also was dealing with being left behind,
so she was little help. Paris was dealing with…well she has changed in ways that I
never expected.
School got harder with my second semester, and at times I did not know what way was
up from down. I was a mess and I needed you. I physically needed you there to tell
me I everything would be fine. That I was smart enough to get through it all, but
you weren't. And I had to fight my way through it all by myself.
*******************************************************************************************
"But Rory if you are so worried about this exam maybe you should stay home and study."
Lane said while her and Rory walked into the Dorm room.
"I promised you I would go to your band practice and I will, I just need to grab a
few books and check the machine."
"Oh someone most love you, you got two messages." Lane said with a laugh.
"Maybe." Rory said hopefully with a sad smile.
"Hey this is Ommpa, (No I'm Ommpa said in the background), if this is
about the band auditions, the position is filled. If it is Tuesday I'm at the
Town Meeting. If you've are trying to sell me something, I'll give your
number to my mother, but don't ask me. If this is anyone else, wait for the
complete melody, you know what to do. And P.S. if this is LA, I still love
you."
'First message left today at 3:42 pm "Rory, Paris, call me when you get
this message it is of great importance that I talk to you ASAP."
"She doesn't count." Lane said.
'Second message left today at 4:30 pm "..Click.."
"Guess not." Lane said giving Rory a small smile. "He'll call."
"I know. Where are those books."
******************************************************************************************
That click gave me shivers down my spin, I knew that it had been you. I missed your
call by an hour, but I had hope. I hoped that since you called once that you would call again.
******************************************************************************************
"Paris, you look fine." Rory was saying to Paris as they entered their room three days later.
"But I'm what should I do about my hair?"
"It looks fine down."
"Rory you have been gone for two days, can't you at least act like you are paying attention?"
"Whatever Paris." Rory said while rolling her eyes and hitting the play back button
on her answering machine.
"Hey this is Lommpa (No I'm Lommpa. Mommmm!!). Anyway, if it's Friday
night, I'm at my Grandparent's house for dinner. And first thing Saturday,
if it doesn't rain, I'm going to New York City, and I'll be gone all weekend
long,but don't worry unlike someone I know (Don't look at me like that,
I'm still the one the brought you into this world!), I will call you back when I
get home Sunday afternoon. And P.S. if this is LA, I still love you.
"Why do you change that so often?"
"It makes mom happy to know what I'm doing."
'First message sent today at 4:30 pm "Hi it's me, call me at 892-432-2343
when you get back."'
"Who was that?" Paris said.
"Jess." Rory said in shock as she sat down on her bed.
"He finally called, wow, I thought he was gone for sure."
"No, he was always there." Rory said with a smile on her face.
********************************************************************************************
I couldn't believe that you called. Well I could but I was still shock I didn't
know what to really think. In truth I didn't think for the next ten minutes. When
Paris finally left to go on one of her mystery dates that I know all about, I was ready
to call you, to talk to you, to hear your voice.
*******************************************************************************************
"Ring…Ring…Click"
"Hello, if you are calling to ask about my heart it is still yours.
I should have listen to you more about everything. Cause if
I did I would have realized that I should have stayed where I
belong. And by the way, girl, this is not a machine you are
talking to, it is me, Jess, and I still love you."
"Jess I miss you."
"I miss you too, Rory." Silence.
"How was New York, surviving without me?"
"Yes, but it was nice to get away from school for a few days." The talked for over an hour
about the main differences in their lives.
"Rory I'm sorry I left like I did. I was confused, and when Luke said he was kicking me
out all I could think of was the one person I viewed as a parent and that actually cared
for me was telling me to leave. I did not think beyond the moment, and when I saw you
on the bus, I tried telling you. Tried explaining, knowing that I could not just leave
you after I finally had you, but the words would not come out."
"I understand, I just wish that you would have called, sooner."
"I wish I had the guts to face your disappointment in me sooner."
"Jess I still love you."
"And I still love you, that's why I will be going home as soon as I can."
********************************************************************************************
So now after a year without you, you are returning to me. And that voice in my head
is screaming…."YOU LOVE HIM, HE LOVES YOU, YOU WILL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!"
I hope it is right. "I AM ALWAYS RIGHT!!!"
The End
Author: Aquarius Angel
Rating: G
Note: Ok I got some feedback from the first part saying more. I was holding out until
I found the perfect song to express Rory's feelings with, but I just couldn't find one,
so I just started writing. I hope this lives up to expectations. I tried to through
in her thoughts of Jess being gone, and some of the parts (towards the end) that have
to do with the first part!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Gilmore Girls, or claim any of the characters. And the Song
is Austin sung by Blake Shelton, and I don't own/claim it either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You love him, You love him, YOU LOVE HIM!!
A little voice in my head and in my heart keeps saying that over and over. I was
scared that it was true, and I was even more afraid of admitting it. But that little
voice in my head keeps reminding me of the time you rescued me from the demon-possessed
sprinklers, and the time you decorated my room in Yale banners. And the nights we would
sit in silence reading, later swapping books that we knew the other would enjoy the context.
How your hair was never perfect, that your eyes would always tell me what you were really
thinking, and mostly I loved how you were comfortable with my town, even if you refused to
admit to that fact.
When I found out you left, I didn't know what to do. Mom has always been horrible with
relationships, Lane was with Dave, Luke could hardly look at me (though he did give me
all the coffee I wanted), Paris was off with Jamie and her own world, there was no one
I could turn to. Not to mention I didn't know what to do. Were you coming back?
Were we still together? Why did you leave? Why didn't you tell me on the bus that day?
Why did you leave me? What did I do, or what could have I have done? I was confused.
I knew it was you who called me the day of my graduation. I don't know how I knew,
but the same voice that tells me I love you, told me it was you. I wanted it to be you,
I needed it to be you so I could hear your voice. You failed to talk, but I got to tell
you that I loved you. Well I said I could have been in love with you, but I was
confused and now I know I love you. And I needed to tell you, let you know how much
you mean to me.
The messages started in August when my mom came up with the idea of leaving messages
that informed people of why they couldn't reach us. Even though this is against all
security suggestions of answering machine massages, I went along with the idea.
I still remember the first message.
********************************************************************************************
"Mom you know my schedule this week why do I need to do this now."
"Because you know I won't remember, and what if it is Lane trying to get a hold of you?
She doesn't know what your plans for this week are."
"Ok, but if my dorm is burglarized because of this, I'm sticking my roommates on you."
"Ooo… cat fights. Can we charge admission." Lorelai said while jumping up and down and
clapping her hands.
"Mother!" Rory said while rolling her eyes. "Ok here goes nothing."
"Hey this is the Rory..." "Who else would they be calling?" "and that's my
mom, but don't leave a message for her. If it's Monday thru Thursday I'm
probably in class, if it's Friday night I'm at my Grandparents. And if you
are still waiting for that melody it will be a few more milliseconds. oh and
PS if this is LA I still love you."
"You still waiting for him to call." Lorelai asked with a sad look in her eye.
"He called once, he will call again. He just needs time to figure things out."
"You have been saying that for four months."
"He could have tried calling while we were traveling the Continent."
"And Jess could have acted like the smart boy you claim he is by going to school
and sticking around." Lorelai said, though sounding mad at her daughter was really
mad a Jess for leaving her baby without being gutsy enough to tell her what was going
on before he bought a bus ticket.
"He'll call." Rory sighed and dropped onto her bed,
"I hope he does." Lorelai said while gathering her daughter into her arms.
********************************************************************************************
I didn't cry, or what my mom calls wallowing, until after my graduation party.
When I got home and was so exhausted I could barely move, I looked at my bed and
saw the little Yale dog you got me sitting there. I just held onto it and cried
until I fell into a deep sleep. That's when the dream happened
It was us dancing at the dance-a-thon. It was the same song, and it was only the
two of us there. Dean never came to break us up, and the music never stopped.
Then we were dancing in the gazebo in the middle of the park with the little lights
that Taylor keeps up all year round, shinning like stars around us. I looked into
your eyes and told you that I loved you. And then you looked at me and whispered,
'I will always love you Rory.' then you were going to kiss me.
But I woke up before that could happen. And I cried again, because I knew that I
loved you, not that I could have loved you, but that I was truly madly deeply in
love with you. With you gone it hurt like a thousand arrows ripping my skin apart.
Europe helped take my mind off you for a few hours here and there, but you were
always there.
When we got back one of the first things I asked Luke was if you contacted him.
He said no, but that your dad called and said you were with him. That's how I
knew you were in LA. And that's why I waited.
School started and I thought of you being there with me. You would have hated
Yale, but you would have liked the challenge and the older books that the professors
thought were best for learning. We could have study together, and talked about the
books that we were to read for that week. When I started writing for the paper, and
Jonathon wanted my reviews to be more than what they were, I knew that you would have
told me that first and helped me figure out what was missing in them. I wanted
you there, and though I have survived without you, thus far, I need you in my life.
***************************************************************************************
"Hey it's the study alcoholic. If you are bring coffee hunt me down, cause
I need lots of it now. If you are trying to sell something, remember I'm a
student with no money. And since I'm not answering my phone leave a
message if it's a life or death matter. PS if this is LA I love you."
"Rory, babe, It's mommy call me and we can do coffee, and then the coffee guy if we
think he is good enough. But call when you have a minute, and baby I hope he calls soon."
**************************************************************************************
Mom wasn't very supportive but she tried. She wanted me to try and move on, but she
also knew that it was hard to do when you were in love that much.
Thanksgiving came, and I thought of last year we ate at the dinner with you and Luke.
And how special it all seemed. Christmas was next, and I bought you an original copy
over Oliver Twist, and it's sitting in my room waiting for you to open it. New Years
I was hoping for my kiss, but I settled for watching the ball drop with my mom, and
watching Gone with the Wind all night long. But I waited and Luke keeping looking at
me with sad eyes. Lane understood, but was also was dealing with being left behind,
so she was little help. Paris was dealing with…well she has changed in ways that I
never expected.
School got harder with my second semester, and at times I did not know what way was
up from down. I was a mess and I needed you. I physically needed you there to tell
me I everything would be fine. That I was smart enough to get through it all, but
you weren't. And I had to fight my way through it all by myself.
*******************************************************************************************
"But Rory if you are so worried about this exam maybe you should stay home and study."
Lane said while her and Rory walked into the Dorm room.
"I promised you I would go to your band practice and I will, I just need to grab a
few books and check the machine."
"Oh someone most love you, you got two messages." Lane said with a laugh.
"Maybe." Rory said hopefully with a sad smile.
"Hey this is Ommpa, (No I'm Ommpa said in the background), if this is
about the band auditions, the position is filled. If it is Tuesday I'm at the
Town Meeting. If you've are trying to sell me something, I'll give your
number to my mother, but don't ask me. If this is anyone else, wait for the
complete melody, you know what to do. And P.S. if this is LA, I still love
you."
'First message left today at 3:42 pm "Rory, Paris, call me when you get
this message it is of great importance that I talk to you ASAP."
"She doesn't count." Lane said.
'Second message left today at 4:30 pm "..Click.."
"Guess not." Lane said giving Rory a small smile. "He'll call."
"I know. Where are those books."
******************************************************************************************
That click gave me shivers down my spin, I knew that it had been you. I missed your
call by an hour, but I had hope. I hoped that since you called once that you would call again.
******************************************************************************************
"Paris, you look fine." Rory was saying to Paris as they entered their room three days later.
"But I'm what should I do about my hair?"
"It looks fine down."
"Rory you have been gone for two days, can't you at least act like you are paying attention?"
"Whatever Paris." Rory said while rolling her eyes and hitting the play back button
on her answering machine.
"Hey this is Lommpa (No I'm Lommpa. Mommmm!!). Anyway, if it's Friday
night, I'm at my Grandparent's house for dinner. And first thing Saturday,
if it doesn't rain, I'm going to New York City, and I'll be gone all weekend
long,but don't worry unlike someone I know (Don't look at me like that,
I'm still the one the brought you into this world!), I will call you back when I
get home Sunday afternoon. And P.S. if this is LA, I still love you.
"Why do you change that so often?"
"It makes mom happy to know what I'm doing."
'First message sent today at 4:30 pm "Hi it's me, call me at 892-432-2343
when you get back."'
"Who was that?" Paris said.
"Jess." Rory said in shock as she sat down on her bed.
"He finally called, wow, I thought he was gone for sure."
"No, he was always there." Rory said with a smile on her face.
********************************************************************************************
I couldn't believe that you called. Well I could but I was still shock I didn't
know what to really think. In truth I didn't think for the next ten minutes. When
Paris finally left to go on one of her mystery dates that I know all about, I was ready
to call you, to talk to you, to hear your voice.
*******************************************************************************************
"Ring…Ring…Click"
"Hello, if you are calling to ask about my heart it is still yours.
I should have listen to you more about everything. Cause if
I did I would have realized that I should have stayed where I
belong. And by the way, girl, this is not a machine you are
talking to, it is me, Jess, and I still love you."
"Jess I miss you."
"I miss you too, Rory." Silence.
"How was New York, surviving without me?"
"Yes, but it was nice to get away from school for a few days." The talked for over an hour
about the main differences in their lives.
"Rory I'm sorry I left like I did. I was confused, and when Luke said he was kicking me
out all I could think of was the one person I viewed as a parent and that actually cared
for me was telling me to leave. I did not think beyond the moment, and when I saw you
on the bus, I tried telling you. Tried explaining, knowing that I could not just leave
you after I finally had you, but the words would not come out."
"I understand, I just wish that you would have called, sooner."
"I wish I had the guts to face your disappointment in me sooner."
"Jess I still love you."
"And I still love you, that's why I will be going home as soon as I can."
********************************************************************************************
So now after a year without you, you are returning to me. And that voice in my head
is screaming…."YOU LOVE HIM, HE LOVES YOU, YOU WILL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!"
I hope it is right. "I AM ALWAYS RIGHT!!!"
The End