Through all known history, which is what they teach you in school, and even unknown history,
which is the truth and what you learn when you are finished with the education system, there have
been men and women with plans. And then, there have been men and women with Plans.
The difference between the two is simple. A plan is simple, methodical, and precise. It states
mathematically and scientifically what the outcome will be and how it will come to be. Usually
plans succeed. Unless, of course, if you are a blatantly evil villain on a children's show. Then
you are doomed, no matter how well thought out your plan was. This is the rule of Divine
Justice. It states simply that good will win, no matter what the cost is.
Several villains have fought with this rule, but have failed miserably in the attempt.
Now, Plans are something else entirely. A Plan is large, colossal. It, by rule, has to affect the
entire world, and it must do so in a flashy, dramatic way. Plans are bold. They stand out like neon
signs amongst the crowds of dull ideas and thoughts. They involve Grand Destinies,
Apocalypses, Smiting of Evil, Large Creatures, and Eternal Love, sometimes all at the same time.
Most people strive for Plans, but wind up with only plans. People like this have absolutely no
imagination whatsoever.
Our dear friend, Joey Wheeler, started out with a simple plan. But elsewhere in the cosmos, Fate
had another idea entirely.
Of course, Fate is known as a very fickle deity, and she's also known to have a few drinks…a
few gallons…well, a few oceans of alcoholic beverages of all sorts. But, compared to Mother
Nature, she's a relatively docile goddess.
Of course, she does have her moods.
And on this day, Fate had drunk the equivalent of the Pacific Ocean's worth of cherry brandy.
And the key word in this sentence is drunk.
Anyway, suitably sloshed, she decided to take a little peek down at the mortal world, and there
her eye fell upon the forms of Yugi Motou and Joey Wheeler, discussing plans for the costume
party. Shifting her gaze, she saw the many other …interesting characters planning for the party,
and in her mind, she formed a scheme.
The Other World is boring sometimes and she was drunk. We all know how this will turn out,
don't we?
Now elsewhere, down on our humble little planet, Yugi, who had finally regained his body after
Yami had locked him in his soul room with a plush moose, and Joey, who was still desperately
trying to tell Yugi about his plan before he forgot it, were arguing about costumes.
The general opinion was that the Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl were not a good choice
in costumes, as neither of them wanted to be the girl.
"That was your master plan?" yelled Yugi, waving his arms for emphasis. Unfortunately, while
he was waving so enthusiastically, he knocked the juice pitcher off the table. This has an
important moral, but I won't tell it to you.
"It sounded much better last night," exclaimed Joey, defensively. He scratched his head
thoughtfully. "But, then again, so did that idea of making a cheese grater out of a tin can."
Yugi blinked at him. "Right."
"But…the basic *idea* is good, right? I mean, going to the costume party and winning the cards."
"Well…yes. Yes, that part's great. However, your choice in costumes stink."
"Well, why don't YOU try to do better?"
"Oh don't look at me, you're the one with the plan!' yelled Yugi, inadvertently quoting from
Road To El Dorado.
At this time, more students had begun to wake up and find the flyers that had mysteriously
popped into existence on their tables. Some of them came up with plans of their own. Some of
them dismissed the flyers as a proclamation of yet another stupid school-funded activity. Many of
them spilled orange juice on them.
But one student took a look at his table and uttered a single sentence. Deep and insightful in it's
own way, it reveals the very core of humanity. It is the one question we all ask at some time in
our lives.
"Where the hell is my coffee?"
Seto Kaiba, genius, millionaire, professional arrogant jerk, and most definitely not a morning
person. In fact, 'not a morning person' is a gross understatement. But morning person or no, he
still had to wake up like the rest of it, poor fool.
Tramping across the kitchen, adjusting his gravity-defying trench coat that he wore absolutely
everywhere, possibly even to bed, he scanned the top of the table for his caffeine. Finding none,
he whirled around and stomped over to the coffee maker, muttering to himself about how hard
good help is to find these days.
He had conveniently forgotten that he'd given the whole staff the day off, not because he was in
a good mood, but because he had been forced to by the strange and omnipotent power known as
'plot contrivance'.
And so, oblivious of his helpless state, ooh, a pun, he set to making himself his coffee, which
was a special brand not found anywhere else in the US or Canada, as it is actually illegal in seven
countries and half a state. He got it specially imported from some nameless Spanish-speaking
country, and did not believe for one minute that the coffee makers injected concentrated caffeine
in the coffee beans used to make it.
Pouring himself a cup, he turned around…
And was nearly hit by a ninja star shooting through his window.
It hit the refrigerator, bounced off of it, shot past Mokuba, who was just coming in, and thudded
into the wall opposite of the oven, pinning a piece of Yami Bakura's very own scented paper to
the wall, along with a piece of Mokuba's pajamas.
Seto blinked, and allowed this information to pass through his head.
Mokuba muttered something about how there was a stupid attempt at their lives, every stupid
morning and that he was tired of it, darnit, and shuffled out of the kitchen, taking a large box of
cereal that was ¾ sugar and ¼ cardboard.
The door swung shut and Seto's mind gave a jump start. "What the HELL?' he yelled, and strode
across the kitchen, cursing under his breath those who dared to come between him and his
morning cup of coffee.
Yanking the ninja star out of the wall, he unfolded the note and glared at it. There, in the neat,
flowing writing of a poet, it read: " Dear Kaiba, I am going to win the contest and take over the
world. Just thought you should know. Mwahahaha. Love, Yami Bakura."
The universe tilted for a minute, then went back to normal.
"Yami Bakura is *so* paying for my new wallpaper," muttered Seto, then tramped over to his
table to drink his coffee.
And back at the Motou house, plans for costumes were being set.
"Maybe we can go as Red Eyes Black Dragon and Blue Eyes White Dragon!" Joey suggested,
looking at the pages of a costume book. His plan of going as Celtic Warrior and Mystical Elf had
also been rejected, because, as Yugi pointed out, jelly beans do not come in lavender.
This had nothing to do with anything, but it was a very convincing argument, because it was true.
"That sounds like a good idea.' Said Yugi, glancing up from his book, 'But how are we going to
get the costumes finished by Friday?"
"Erm," replied Joey intelligently.
"Can you sew, Joey?"
"Uh…"
"Because I can't."
"Um…"
"And neither can my grandpa."
"Ah…"
"Right."
"I can sew!" declared Tea, who also didn't have to knock, since she was special and one of the
main characters.
A wise man whose name I don't recall at the moment once stated that there is a black hole that is
directly attached to one's shadow, and if you are not careful, you may fall into it and wind up
somewhere where the people speak funny and wear the skins of dead animals. I didn't pay
attention to the warning and I wound up in the country club at high tea. Fortunately I got out alive
by pretending to be a caddy.
Now some people know of these holes and have developed a way to use them as some sort of
mode of transportation by linking them to another person's black hole, allowing them to pop up
behind someone, usually at the most inopportune times. This is a skill widely known by parents,
annoying people, and teachers everywhere.
And of course, Tea.
Yugi and Joey both jumped in their seats, knocking over the costume books they had been
looking through.
"Tea!" yelled Joey, "Don't DO that!"
"Do what?"
"Pop up out of nowhere like that!"
"Like this?"
Tea suddenly popped up behind Joey.
"Yes!" he yelled, sounding almost hysterical. "THAT!"
"Okay." She then popped right back up behind Yugi, and looked down at the page of the costume
book he had been looking at, ignoring Joey who was busy processing the paradox, while
muttering 'Logic…no logic!'
"You're going as Duel Monster cards?"
"Yes…"
"…Yugi."
"Yes."
"Have you any idea how many people are probably going as Duel Monster cards?"
"Um…no."
"Either an awful lot, or hardly any at all. If there's a lot, you won't win the prize. If there's hardly
any at all…it will be very embarrassing for you to show up dressed as…" she trailed off.
"Blue Eyes White Dragon and Red Eyes Black Dragon." He prompted.
"Right. As a friend, I'd advise you not to."
"Why as a friend?"
"Because friends don't let friends…go to parties dressed as Duel Monster cards."
Silence fell down between them, and then went off muttering about how people should be more
careful with their banana peels.
"Alright, so I just wanted to stick friendship in their somewhere." Tea confessed. 'Is that so
wrong? Don't answer that. It was strictly rhetorical."
Joey managed to pull his mind together and resume looking at the costumes. " Well what would
*you* suggest?"
"Something with plenty of black leather, but that's just me."
Yugi decided to not ask her to elaborate on that.
Meanwhile, on Yami Bakura's bike…
"Yami?"
There was no reply from the spirit of the Millennium ring, who seemed bent on fulfilling his odd
mission of delivering messages to everyone via ninja star express.
"Yami, I know that you've been feeling edgy lately, but that's no reason to go around throwing
ninja stars at people and finding costumes for your evil scheme."
"Ryou," Yami Bakura muttered, "You wouldn't know an evil scheme if it came up to you dressed
up like Mimi from the Drew Carey show, waved flags in front of your face, and danced the
Macarena while singing 'evil schemes are here again'."
"Alright, that's just rude."
"Shut up."
"Case in point."
"Didn't I just tell you…"
"And you're using my body for evil means again. Did you know I just had this bike fixed?"
"Look, I'm driving this thing, and if I really wanted to, I could drive it off a cliff or into an
incoming truck."
"You wouldn't."
"I'm a spirit in a nifty-looking ring. Someone's sure to pick the ring up, and I'll get their body.
It's not like there aren't enough bodies to spare. You, unfortunately, will remain very dead."
"I hate you."
"Don't think I don't appreciate it."
"Where are you going, anyway?"
"To see a man about a costume."
"Why are you gripping that ninja star like that?"
"I've got plans," replied Yami Bakura darkly.
At exactly 12:00 am, a ninja star crashed through the window of one, Maximillion Pegasus.
Attached to it was a scented piece of paper with a note that read: 'Dear Pegasus, Evil plans are
brewing, and you suck. Love, Yami Bakura.'
This was followed by a dozen of the notes folded into paper airplanes and bearing the words 'Ha
ha', across their sides. Pegasus crumpled the not in his hand.
"Yami Bakura is *so* paying for my new wallpaper," he muttered blackly, then headed for his
kitchen to get some fruit juice.
Across his front lawn, there wandered a man with a suit. He held his cell phone up to his mouth.
"Can you hear me now?"
which is the truth and what you learn when you are finished with the education system, there have
been men and women with plans. And then, there have been men and women with Plans.
The difference between the two is simple. A plan is simple, methodical, and precise. It states
mathematically and scientifically what the outcome will be and how it will come to be. Usually
plans succeed. Unless, of course, if you are a blatantly evil villain on a children's show. Then
you are doomed, no matter how well thought out your plan was. This is the rule of Divine
Justice. It states simply that good will win, no matter what the cost is.
Several villains have fought with this rule, but have failed miserably in the attempt.
Now, Plans are something else entirely. A Plan is large, colossal. It, by rule, has to affect the
entire world, and it must do so in a flashy, dramatic way. Plans are bold. They stand out like neon
signs amongst the crowds of dull ideas and thoughts. They involve Grand Destinies,
Apocalypses, Smiting of Evil, Large Creatures, and Eternal Love, sometimes all at the same time.
Most people strive for Plans, but wind up with only plans. People like this have absolutely no
imagination whatsoever.
Our dear friend, Joey Wheeler, started out with a simple plan. But elsewhere in the cosmos, Fate
had another idea entirely.
Of course, Fate is known as a very fickle deity, and she's also known to have a few drinks…a
few gallons…well, a few oceans of alcoholic beverages of all sorts. But, compared to Mother
Nature, she's a relatively docile goddess.
Of course, she does have her moods.
And on this day, Fate had drunk the equivalent of the Pacific Ocean's worth of cherry brandy.
And the key word in this sentence is drunk.
Anyway, suitably sloshed, she decided to take a little peek down at the mortal world, and there
her eye fell upon the forms of Yugi Motou and Joey Wheeler, discussing plans for the costume
party. Shifting her gaze, she saw the many other …interesting characters planning for the party,
and in her mind, she formed a scheme.
The Other World is boring sometimes and she was drunk. We all know how this will turn out,
don't we?
Now elsewhere, down on our humble little planet, Yugi, who had finally regained his body after
Yami had locked him in his soul room with a plush moose, and Joey, who was still desperately
trying to tell Yugi about his plan before he forgot it, were arguing about costumes.
The general opinion was that the Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl were not a good choice
in costumes, as neither of them wanted to be the girl.
"That was your master plan?" yelled Yugi, waving his arms for emphasis. Unfortunately, while
he was waving so enthusiastically, he knocked the juice pitcher off the table. This has an
important moral, but I won't tell it to you.
"It sounded much better last night," exclaimed Joey, defensively. He scratched his head
thoughtfully. "But, then again, so did that idea of making a cheese grater out of a tin can."
Yugi blinked at him. "Right."
"But…the basic *idea* is good, right? I mean, going to the costume party and winning the cards."
"Well…yes. Yes, that part's great. However, your choice in costumes stink."
"Well, why don't YOU try to do better?"
"Oh don't look at me, you're the one with the plan!' yelled Yugi, inadvertently quoting from
Road To El Dorado.
At this time, more students had begun to wake up and find the flyers that had mysteriously
popped into existence on their tables. Some of them came up with plans of their own. Some of
them dismissed the flyers as a proclamation of yet another stupid school-funded activity. Many of
them spilled orange juice on them.
But one student took a look at his table and uttered a single sentence. Deep and insightful in it's
own way, it reveals the very core of humanity. It is the one question we all ask at some time in
our lives.
"Where the hell is my coffee?"
Seto Kaiba, genius, millionaire, professional arrogant jerk, and most definitely not a morning
person. In fact, 'not a morning person' is a gross understatement. But morning person or no, he
still had to wake up like the rest of it, poor fool.
Tramping across the kitchen, adjusting his gravity-defying trench coat that he wore absolutely
everywhere, possibly even to bed, he scanned the top of the table for his caffeine. Finding none,
he whirled around and stomped over to the coffee maker, muttering to himself about how hard
good help is to find these days.
He had conveniently forgotten that he'd given the whole staff the day off, not because he was in
a good mood, but because he had been forced to by the strange and omnipotent power known as
'plot contrivance'.
And so, oblivious of his helpless state, ooh, a pun, he set to making himself his coffee, which
was a special brand not found anywhere else in the US or Canada, as it is actually illegal in seven
countries and half a state. He got it specially imported from some nameless Spanish-speaking
country, and did not believe for one minute that the coffee makers injected concentrated caffeine
in the coffee beans used to make it.
Pouring himself a cup, he turned around…
And was nearly hit by a ninja star shooting through his window.
It hit the refrigerator, bounced off of it, shot past Mokuba, who was just coming in, and thudded
into the wall opposite of the oven, pinning a piece of Yami Bakura's very own scented paper to
the wall, along with a piece of Mokuba's pajamas.
Seto blinked, and allowed this information to pass through his head.
Mokuba muttered something about how there was a stupid attempt at their lives, every stupid
morning and that he was tired of it, darnit, and shuffled out of the kitchen, taking a large box of
cereal that was ¾ sugar and ¼ cardboard.
The door swung shut and Seto's mind gave a jump start. "What the HELL?' he yelled, and strode
across the kitchen, cursing under his breath those who dared to come between him and his
morning cup of coffee.
Yanking the ninja star out of the wall, he unfolded the note and glared at it. There, in the neat,
flowing writing of a poet, it read: " Dear Kaiba, I am going to win the contest and take over the
world. Just thought you should know. Mwahahaha. Love, Yami Bakura."
The universe tilted for a minute, then went back to normal.
"Yami Bakura is *so* paying for my new wallpaper," muttered Seto, then tramped over to his
table to drink his coffee.
And back at the Motou house, plans for costumes were being set.
"Maybe we can go as Red Eyes Black Dragon and Blue Eyes White Dragon!" Joey suggested,
looking at the pages of a costume book. His plan of going as Celtic Warrior and Mystical Elf had
also been rejected, because, as Yugi pointed out, jelly beans do not come in lavender.
This had nothing to do with anything, but it was a very convincing argument, because it was true.
"That sounds like a good idea.' Said Yugi, glancing up from his book, 'But how are we going to
get the costumes finished by Friday?"
"Erm," replied Joey intelligently.
"Can you sew, Joey?"
"Uh…"
"Because I can't."
"Um…"
"And neither can my grandpa."
"Ah…"
"Right."
"I can sew!" declared Tea, who also didn't have to knock, since she was special and one of the
main characters.
A wise man whose name I don't recall at the moment once stated that there is a black hole that is
directly attached to one's shadow, and if you are not careful, you may fall into it and wind up
somewhere where the people speak funny and wear the skins of dead animals. I didn't pay
attention to the warning and I wound up in the country club at high tea. Fortunately I got out alive
by pretending to be a caddy.
Now some people know of these holes and have developed a way to use them as some sort of
mode of transportation by linking them to another person's black hole, allowing them to pop up
behind someone, usually at the most inopportune times. This is a skill widely known by parents,
annoying people, and teachers everywhere.
And of course, Tea.
Yugi and Joey both jumped in their seats, knocking over the costume books they had been
looking through.
"Tea!" yelled Joey, "Don't DO that!"
"Do what?"
"Pop up out of nowhere like that!"
"Like this?"
Tea suddenly popped up behind Joey.
"Yes!" he yelled, sounding almost hysterical. "THAT!"
"Okay." She then popped right back up behind Yugi, and looked down at the page of the costume
book he had been looking at, ignoring Joey who was busy processing the paradox, while
muttering 'Logic…no logic!'
"You're going as Duel Monster cards?"
"Yes…"
"…Yugi."
"Yes."
"Have you any idea how many people are probably going as Duel Monster cards?"
"Um…no."
"Either an awful lot, or hardly any at all. If there's a lot, you won't win the prize. If there's hardly
any at all…it will be very embarrassing for you to show up dressed as…" she trailed off.
"Blue Eyes White Dragon and Red Eyes Black Dragon." He prompted.
"Right. As a friend, I'd advise you not to."
"Why as a friend?"
"Because friends don't let friends…go to parties dressed as Duel Monster cards."
Silence fell down between them, and then went off muttering about how people should be more
careful with their banana peels.
"Alright, so I just wanted to stick friendship in their somewhere." Tea confessed. 'Is that so
wrong? Don't answer that. It was strictly rhetorical."
Joey managed to pull his mind together and resume looking at the costumes. " Well what would
*you* suggest?"
"Something with plenty of black leather, but that's just me."
Yugi decided to not ask her to elaborate on that.
Meanwhile, on Yami Bakura's bike…
"Yami?"
There was no reply from the spirit of the Millennium ring, who seemed bent on fulfilling his odd
mission of delivering messages to everyone via ninja star express.
"Yami, I know that you've been feeling edgy lately, but that's no reason to go around throwing
ninja stars at people and finding costumes for your evil scheme."
"Ryou," Yami Bakura muttered, "You wouldn't know an evil scheme if it came up to you dressed
up like Mimi from the Drew Carey show, waved flags in front of your face, and danced the
Macarena while singing 'evil schemes are here again'."
"Alright, that's just rude."
"Shut up."
"Case in point."
"Didn't I just tell you…"
"And you're using my body for evil means again. Did you know I just had this bike fixed?"
"Look, I'm driving this thing, and if I really wanted to, I could drive it off a cliff or into an
incoming truck."
"You wouldn't."
"I'm a spirit in a nifty-looking ring. Someone's sure to pick the ring up, and I'll get their body.
It's not like there aren't enough bodies to spare. You, unfortunately, will remain very dead."
"I hate you."
"Don't think I don't appreciate it."
"Where are you going, anyway?"
"To see a man about a costume."
"Why are you gripping that ninja star like that?"
"I've got plans," replied Yami Bakura darkly.
At exactly 12:00 am, a ninja star crashed through the window of one, Maximillion Pegasus.
Attached to it was a scented piece of paper with a note that read: 'Dear Pegasus, Evil plans are
brewing, and you suck. Love, Yami Bakura.'
This was followed by a dozen of the notes folded into paper airplanes and bearing the words 'Ha
ha', across their sides. Pegasus crumpled the not in his hand.
"Yami Bakura is *so* paying for my new wallpaper," he muttered blackly, then headed for his
kitchen to get some fruit juice.
Across his front lawn, there wandered a man with a suit. He held his cell phone up to his mouth.
"Can you hear me now?"