One must understand that humans are stupid. Consider the pufferfish. It a small fish covered all
over with spikes that simply ooze poison, and it has the ability to balloon to twice it's size. Now,
if you were to walk along and look at it, logically, you'd think something along the lines of
"Weird," or "What the hell is that?"
But logic has no place in everyday life. Somewhere, someone looked at the pufferfish and
thought. "Gee. That looks tasty." We may only hope that he was drunk.
But that's not all. You see, there is but one bit in the whole pufferfish that is not poisonous.
Imagine how much fun they had trying this out.
"Tail? Did you eat the tail?"
"Yes…urk."
"Alright, scratch the tail. Orange spongy bit?"
"ARGH! GAH! GAAAaaaaah…."
"Hm. Not that either."
So yes, humans are stupid. Let us keep this fact in mind as the story continues.
For one thing, an intelligent person wouldn't go to so much trouble simply to get a few pieces of
paper with pictures on them. And no intelligent person would treasure them so much as to buy
them for hundreds of dollars. And they certainly wouldn't dress up like a chicken to get them.
Going by this, it is safe to say that the entire student body might very well be the least intelligent
people in the world. And number one on the list of stupid was currently in his living room, poring
over a book of costume designs.
"So you say you can sew anything in this book?"
"Yes?"
"What do you mean, yes? There was a question mark. I *heard* a question mark."
"Define 'sew'."
"We're in trouble, aren't we?"
"Um…no?"
"There goes that bloody question mark again!"
Tea scowled. "Well, look, I'm only in Fashion Design 1 right now. We're learning how to make
t-shirts, for god's sake."
"You said you could sew!"
"You'll notice I didn't say I could sew well."
"Could we take a lunch break?"
"No, Joey." Said Yugi, thoroughly intent on his task. "Do you mean to say," he asked Tea, trying
to remain calm, "That we can choose any costume we want…as long as it consists of a t-shirt and
jeans?"
"I could possibly do a pair of socks."
Yugi lapsed into silence.
"We could tie-dye the socks," suggested Joey, "And go as hippies. I could find some bandannas
and tie dye those too. And then-"
"Joey?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
"Well, what if we go to a thrift store and buy a whole bunch of random garbage and put it all
together and claim that we're gypsies?" Suggested Tea.
"Oh, that's hardly original. Pop stars do it every day." Joey turned to Yugi. "Any ideas?"
Yugi blinked. "Well, we could go as-" He paused. "Wait, Yami's telling me something."
"Can he wait?"
"I can't just put him on hold! It's not like call waiting! You can't tell a voice in your head not to
stop talking…and darn it slow down, I can't understand you! What? What do you mean, a note?
A PINK note? How the hell did Yami Bakura get in your spirit room?"
Yami Bakura snickered to himself as he shut down the transdimensional shifter machine. It was
also called a 'Whatchamacallit', or even, in special cases, a 'bloody piece of trash.' But whatever
it was, it was darned useful. "Seventy to go," he whispered to himself and slipped quietly into the
shadows…an effect that was somehow ruined by the stray bits of pink scented paper trailing
behind him.
Yami stared at his spirit room, his eye twitching. Pink notes surrounded every surface that could
be taped, nailed, or tacked onto. On every individual note there was a different insult.
"Yami Bakura is *so* paying for my wallpaper…'
Meanwhile, in the heavens, The Almighty And Unnamed God was holding a conference. To save
paper space, we'll just call him Almighty. Interestingly enough, the meeting was being held on
the aforementioned space table.
It was three-o-clock on Earth. There is no time in the heavens. This makes business meetings
very interesting, as no one can actually say if the meeting was long or short.
Almighty was beginning to wonder why there were so darned many higher beings. He looked
impatiently around the universe, which was actually getting very crowded with the number of
gods and demons squeezing through. Clearing his throat, he shuffled a few papers on his desk.
"Shall we begin with this meeting?"
Around the giant mahogany table, immortals of all varieties chatted, bickered, or muttered curses
under their breath. None of them seemed to have heard him.
He cleared his throat, causing a monsoon in an obscure country.
The divine assembly didn't even turn their heads in acknowledgement.
Almighty felt his impatience getting the best of him. He rose from his place and pounded one
immeasurable fist on the polished wood surface of the table, spilling his coffee and inadvertently
causing a catastrophic earthquake in Turkey. " SHUT UP OR I'LL HAVE YOUR LICENSES
REVOKED!"
Silence fell over the room like a lead blanket.
"Thank you." He sat down in his chair. "You all may be wondering why I've called you here
today…"
Gootchie, god of bellybutton lint, brought a fist to his mouth and coughed into it. It sounded
remarkably like 'Bull.'
Almighty glared at him. "I really wasn't kidding about having your license revoked."
Gootchie looked around. "Did I say anything? Did I insult anyone in any way? Why, I'm sure I
wouldn't dream of doing such a thing…"
"I'll say." Remarked Morpheus
"Speaking of which," Ra said, giving the god of sleep a funny look. "I seem to remember a
certain dream last night…something about my mother and a vat of vanilla pudding."
"Eep."
"IF YOU'RE ALL FINISHED!" roared the Almighty.
The gods and various other deities took a look at his face and promptly shut up. Only, of course,
in a very godlike and dignified way.
"Good. Now, I've noticed that there has been a high level of odd activities going on in Tokyo…"
"And that's different from every day, how?" inquired one of the minor demons.
"They don't usually involve Egyptian spirits," remarked Almighty, glaring at the Egyptian corner
of the assembly. They cringed.
"Um," began Osiris, "May I note that we had no idea that this happened?"
"Hah!" exclaimed a Dark Magician. "Sure you didn't. Like you had no idea any of us were being
summoned into the human world by those pharaohs and other various people…"
"Hush!"
At this, Fate burst into tears. "Wasn't my fauuuuuult!" She moaned, "Didn't mean to! Was just
having," she hiccupped, "Fun! Not my fault they don't stay in their regions!"
Almighty blinked and looked at her.
"How dry I am," she sang, "How wet I'll be…"
And then, quite suddenly, Ra's cell phone started ringing.
And in Yugi's house, Joey stared at the phone. "So…you say that Ra owes you something?"
Yami nodded.
"And I don't suppose I could find out what this something is, or how you came to meet him, or
even why you know his phone number to begin with?"
"No."
And then, the house was plunged into darkness. And yea, did the skies part and a hand of
unimaginable size lower itself from the sky and point directly at the window of Yugi Motou's
house. And the multitudes did stare at the sky and wonder if they had gone drunk.
And then, the hand did emit a loud beeping sound, and emit a sound like that of a female voice,
and voice said unto Yami, Tea and Joey…
"Hello. You have reached Ra's cell phone number. If you'd like to leave a prayer, please
prostrate yourself. If you'd like to change your religion, please take nearest sharp object and stick
it. If you'd like to call in an old favor, please yell: 'I like peachy rabbits', and await further
reply."
Tea and Joey looked expectantly at Yami. "Well?"
"No way," growled Yami, granting the enormous hand a murderous glare. "There is absolutely no
way that I am saying that."
"Oh, don't be such a baby. We need someone to sew the outfits, or we'll never win those Exodia
cards. Now yell it or spend the next few weeks listening to something incredibly cute and girly. I
know Yami Bakura, and he knows where you live." Tea gave Yami a threatening look.
"…Fine." He cleared his throat. And cleared his throat. And shuffled his feet. Then, he turned
abruptly around. 'Screw it, I refuse."
Joey grabbed him by his arms, and Tea got into Friendship Speech mode. "Yami," she warned, "I
swear to whatever God may be listening at this moment that if you do not contact Ra right this
very moment, I shall talk about friendship for five hours straight. And believe me, I *am*
capable."
Yami gave a gasp of horror. "You wouldn't."
"Really? You think so?"
"…No." He gave a sigh like that of a ten year old boy faced with a plate of brussels sprouts that
he know he must eat. "Very well." Steeling himself, he began. "I like…gods, this is
embarrassing…I LIKE PEACHY RABBITS!"
The hand let out a high pitched beeping sound and the index finger rose. Outside, the whole
neighborhood wondered whether to be insulted or not.
" Thank you. Connecting you to Ra…" Pleasant music began to play as they waited.
Yami raised an eyebrow. "Wow. He updated."
"Well, it is the 21st century…"
"No, I meant that he used to have heavy metal music."
"Oh."
They stood listening to the music for a while. Finally, the hand emitted yet another high pitched
beeping sound, followed by a whirring noise, and finally a completely different feminine voice.
"Hello," it said, "You have reached Ra. You are number four thousand, five hundred and eight.
Please hold. Your call is very important to us."
People in Northern Alaska were reported to hear a loud, booming noise that sounded oddly like
three people yelling "WHAT?"
Ra turned his cell phone off as the Almighty and the rest of the higher beings glared at him.
"Whoops. Always forget to turn the darn thing off. Now, what is it we were talking about?"
The president of the student council was perturbed. He was very, very perturbed. He was in such
a state of anxiety that he had eaten his pencil and was now starting on the pencil sharpener. True,
this could also be mistaken for hunger, but that's not the point.
He had come up with a marvelous idea for a fundraiser, had planned it perfectly, had even sent
out the flyers. He thought long and hard about the events that might take place if the winner was
not presented with a prize.
"I am so dead."
Later that night, in some very obscure location, Yami Bakura snickered to himself as he put the
finishing touches on his master invention.
"Yami?"
"What is it?"
"I regret to say that I haven't the slightest idea why you're doing this. I mean, what's the point?
Why all the notes? And especially THIS." He stared at the ten foot high square of cotton candy
pink metal. On it were printed the words: 'Costume party! Evil scheme! Bring your own plot!
Love, Yami Bakura. P.S, Map on the back,' in hieroglyphics.
"Don't you *see*, you stupid little mortal? I'm attracting fellow members of the dark side! We
can't allow the good side to win, in even the slightest battle!"
"Not even in a costume party?"
"Especially not in a costume party. Now, where'd the giant rubber band?" Yami Bakura
rummaged around the alleyway, knocking aside some pieces of metal and a large, pointy, spiraled
object.
"And what are you doing with it?"
"I am going to catapult it off towards a cliff side over in that area." Yami Bakura waved a hand
towards the landscape of the city of Tokyo. Ryou barely smothered an 'Eep.'
"Are you SURE you know what you're doing?"
"Nope."
And with that, Yami Bakura shot the ten foot square of metal into the night.
In the Kaiba mansion, Seto was getting ready to go to bed after a long, hard day's work at the
office. He slipped into his pajamas and trudged over to his giant bed. Yes, it was a giant bed,
because he was rich, and rich people always have giant beds. It is protocol. Anyway, he collapsed
bonelessly on the starched white sheets and stared at the night sky.
The stars were really beautiful tonight, he thought. Very clear. And the full moon made it very
bright. He enjoyed the cool night breeze on his skin as he began to drift off to sleep…
Then shot straight up as an idea occurred to him. Night sky? Stars? Cool breeze? He took a deep
breath.
"WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING?"
over with spikes that simply ooze poison, and it has the ability to balloon to twice it's size. Now,
if you were to walk along and look at it, logically, you'd think something along the lines of
"Weird," or "What the hell is that?"
But logic has no place in everyday life. Somewhere, someone looked at the pufferfish and
thought. "Gee. That looks tasty." We may only hope that he was drunk.
But that's not all. You see, there is but one bit in the whole pufferfish that is not poisonous.
Imagine how much fun they had trying this out.
"Tail? Did you eat the tail?"
"Yes…urk."
"Alright, scratch the tail. Orange spongy bit?"
"ARGH! GAH! GAAAaaaaah…."
"Hm. Not that either."
So yes, humans are stupid. Let us keep this fact in mind as the story continues.
For one thing, an intelligent person wouldn't go to so much trouble simply to get a few pieces of
paper with pictures on them. And no intelligent person would treasure them so much as to buy
them for hundreds of dollars. And they certainly wouldn't dress up like a chicken to get them.
Going by this, it is safe to say that the entire student body might very well be the least intelligent
people in the world. And number one on the list of stupid was currently in his living room, poring
over a book of costume designs.
"So you say you can sew anything in this book?"
"Yes?"
"What do you mean, yes? There was a question mark. I *heard* a question mark."
"Define 'sew'."
"We're in trouble, aren't we?"
"Um…no?"
"There goes that bloody question mark again!"
Tea scowled. "Well, look, I'm only in Fashion Design 1 right now. We're learning how to make
t-shirts, for god's sake."
"You said you could sew!"
"You'll notice I didn't say I could sew well."
"Could we take a lunch break?"
"No, Joey." Said Yugi, thoroughly intent on his task. "Do you mean to say," he asked Tea, trying
to remain calm, "That we can choose any costume we want…as long as it consists of a t-shirt and
jeans?"
"I could possibly do a pair of socks."
Yugi lapsed into silence.
"We could tie-dye the socks," suggested Joey, "And go as hippies. I could find some bandannas
and tie dye those too. And then-"
"Joey?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
"Well, what if we go to a thrift store and buy a whole bunch of random garbage and put it all
together and claim that we're gypsies?" Suggested Tea.
"Oh, that's hardly original. Pop stars do it every day." Joey turned to Yugi. "Any ideas?"
Yugi blinked. "Well, we could go as-" He paused. "Wait, Yami's telling me something."
"Can he wait?"
"I can't just put him on hold! It's not like call waiting! You can't tell a voice in your head not to
stop talking…and darn it slow down, I can't understand you! What? What do you mean, a note?
A PINK note? How the hell did Yami Bakura get in your spirit room?"
Yami Bakura snickered to himself as he shut down the transdimensional shifter machine. It was
also called a 'Whatchamacallit', or even, in special cases, a 'bloody piece of trash.' But whatever
it was, it was darned useful. "Seventy to go," he whispered to himself and slipped quietly into the
shadows…an effect that was somehow ruined by the stray bits of pink scented paper trailing
behind him.
Yami stared at his spirit room, his eye twitching. Pink notes surrounded every surface that could
be taped, nailed, or tacked onto. On every individual note there was a different insult.
"Yami Bakura is *so* paying for my wallpaper…'
Meanwhile, in the heavens, The Almighty And Unnamed God was holding a conference. To save
paper space, we'll just call him Almighty. Interestingly enough, the meeting was being held on
the aforementioned space table.
It was three-o-clock on Earth. There is no time in the heavens. This makes business meetings
very interesting, as no one can actually say if the meeting was long or short.
Almighty was beginning to wonder why there were so darned many higher beings. He looked
impatiently around the universe, which was actually getting very crowded with the number of
gods and demons squeezing through. Clearing his throat, he shuffled a few papers on his desk.
"Shall we begin with this meeting?"
Around the giant mahogany table, immortals of all varieties chatted, bickered, or muttered curses
under their breath. None of them seemed to have heard him.
He cleared his throat, causing a monsoon in an obscure country.
The divine assembly didn't even turn their heads in acknowledgement.
Almighty felt his impatience getting the best of him. He rose from his place and pounded one
immeasurable fist on the polished wood surface of the table, spilling his coffee and inadvertently
causing a catastrophic earthquake in Turkey. " SHUT UP OR I'LL HAVE YOUR LICENSES
REVOKED!"
Silence fell over the room like a lead blanket.
"Thank you." He sat down in his chair. "You all may be wondering why I've called you here
today…"
Gootchie, god of bellybutton lint, brought a fist to his mouth and coughed into it. It sounded
remarkably like 'Bull.'
Almighty glared at him. "I really wasn't kidding about having your license revoked."
Gootchie looked around. "Did I say anything? Did I insult anyone in any way? Why, I'm sure I
wouldn't dream of doing such a thing…"
"I'll say." Remarked Morpheus
"Speaking of which," Ra said, giving the god of sleep a funny look. "I seem to remember a
certain dream last night…something about my mother and a vat of vanilla pudding."
"Eep."
"IF YOU'RE ALL FINISHED!" roared the Almighty.
The gods and various other deities took a look at his face and promptly shut up. Only, of course,
in a very godlike and dignified way.
"Good. Now, I've noticed that there has been a high level of odd activities going on in Tokyo…"
"And that's different from every day, how?" inquired one of the minor demons.
"They don't usually involve Egyptian spirits," remarked Almighty, glaring at the Egyptian corner
of the assembly. They cringed.
"Um," began Osiris, "May I note that we had no idea that this happened?"
"Hah!" exclaimed a Dark Magician. "Sure you didn't. Like you had no idea any of us were being
summoned into the human world by those pharaohs and other various people…"
"Hush!"
At this, Fate burst into tears. "Wasn't my fauuuuuult!" She moaned, "Didn't mean to! Was just
having," she hiccupped, "Fun! Not my fault they don't stay in their regions!"
Almighty blinked and looked at her.
"How dry I am," she sang, "How wet I'll be…"
And then, quite suddenly, Ra's cell phone started ringing.
And in Yugi's house, Joey stared at the phone. "So…you say that Ra owes you something?"
Yami nodded.
"And I don't suppose I could find out what this something is, or how you came to meet him, or
even why you know his phone number to begin with?"
"No."
And then, the house was plunged into darkness. And yea, did the skies part and a hand of
unimaginable size lower itself from the sky and point directly at the window of Yugi Motou's
house. And the multitudes did stare at the sky and wonder if they had gone drunk.
And then, the hand did emit a loud beeping sound, and emit a sound like that of a female voice,
and voice said unto Yami, Tea and Joey…
"Hello. You have reached Ra's cell phone number. If you'd like to leave a prayer, please
prostrate yourself. If you'd like to change your religion, please take nearest sharp object and stick
it. If you'd like to call in an old favor, please yell: 'I like peachy rabbits', and await further
reply."
Tea and Joey looked expectantly at Yami. "Well?"
"No way," growled Yami, granting the enormous hand a murderous glare. "There is absolutely no
way that I am saying that."
"Oh, don't be such a baby. We need someone to sew the outfits, or we'll never win those Exodia
cards. Now yell it or spend the next few weeks listening to something incredibly cute and girly. I
know Yami Bakura, and he knows where you live." Tea gave Yami a threatening look.
"…Fine." He cleared his throat. And cleared his throat. And shuffled his feet. Then, he turned
abruptly around. 'Screw it, I refuse."
Joey grabbed him by his arms, and Tea got into Friendship Speech mode. "Yami," she warned, "I
swear to whatever God may be listening at this moment that if you do not contact Ra right this
very moment, I shall talk about friendship for five hours straight. And believe me, I *am*
capable."
Yami gave a gasp of horror. "You wouldn't."
"Really? You think so?"
"…No." He gave a sigh like that of a ten year old boy faced with a plate of brussels sprouts that
he know he must eat. "Very well." Steeling himself, he began. "I like…gods, this is
embarrassing…I LIKE PEACHY RABBITS!"
The hand let out a high pitched beeping sound and the index finger rose. Outside, the whole
neighborhood wondered whether to be insulted or not.
" Thank you. Connecting you to Ra…" Pleasant music began to play as they waited.
Yami raised an eyebrow. "Wow. He updated."
"Well, it is the 21st century…"
"No, I meant that he used to have heavy metal music."
"Oh."
They stood listening to the music for a while. Finally, the hand emitted yet another high pitched
beeping sound, followed by a whirring noise, and finally a completely different feminine voice.
"Hello," it said, "You have reached Ra. You are number four thousand, five hundred and eight.
Please hold. Your call is very important to us."
People in Northern Alaska were reported to hear a loud, booming noise that sounded oddly like
three people yelling "WHAT?"
Ra turned his cell phone off as the Almighty and the rest of the higher beings glared at him.
"Whoops. Always forget to turn the darn thing off. Now, what is it we were talking about?"
The president of the student council was perturbed. He was very, very perturbed. He was in such
a state of anxiety that he had eaten his pencil and was now starting on the pencil sharpener. True,
this could also be mistaken for hunger, but that's not the point.
He had come up with a marvelous idea for a fundraiser, had planned it perfectly, had even sent
out the flyers. He thought long and hard about the events that might take place if the winner was
not presented with a prize.
"I am so dead."
Later that night, in some very obscure location, Yami Bakura snickered to himself as he put the
finishing touches on his master invention.
"Yami?"
"What is it?"
"I regret to say that I haven't the slightest idea why you're doing this. I mean, what's the point?
Why all the notes? And especially THIS." He stared at the ten foot high square of cotton candy
pink metal. On it were printed the words: 'Costume party! Evil scheme! Bring your own plot!
Love, Yami Bakura. P.S, Map on the back,' in hieroglyphics.
"Don't you *see*, you stupid little mortal? I'm attracting fellow members of the dark side! We
can't allow the good side to win, in even the slightest battle!"
"Not even in a costume party?"
"Especially not in a costume party. Now, where'd the giant rubber band?" Yami Bakura
rummaged around the alleyway, knocking aside some pieces of metal and a large, pointy, spiraled
object.
"And what are you doing with it?"
"I am going to catapult it off towards a cliff side over in that area." Yami Bakura waved a hand
towards the landscape of the city of Tokyo. Ryou barely smothered an 'Eep.'
"Are you SURE you know what you're doing?"
"Nope."
And with that, Yami Bakura shot the ten foot square of metal into the night.
In the Kaiba mansion, Seto was getting ready to go to bed after a long, hard day's work at the
office. He slipped into his pajamas and trudged over to his giant bed. Yes, it was a giant bed,
because he was rich, and rich people always have giant beds. It is protocol. Anyway, he collapsed
bonelessly on the starched white sheets and stared at the night sky.
The stars were really beautiful tonight, he thought. Very clear. And the full moon made it very
bright. He enjoyed the cool night breeze on his skin as he began to drift off to sleep…
Then shot straight up as an idea occurred to him. Night sky? Stars? Cool breeze? He took a deep
breath.
"WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING?"